Showing posts with label man mistake eraser. Show all posts
Showing posts with label man mistake eraser. Show all posts

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Man Mistake Eraser #1



There are many mistakes we can make with the men in our lives.  We can act insecure, be too clingy, call too often, smother them, tell them we love them first and the list goes on and on.  There are the more severe mistakes such as cheating or lying.  Hopefully the latter two are not on your list.  Even the worst of mistakes though can be fixed.  There is one main man mistake eraser that will assist in almost every mistake we make.  Silence.  You may ask how can silence erase a mistake that you have made, so let me explain.

When men are upset, they aren't like we are.  They don't want to talk about it.  Men don't want to talk about feelings.....yet.  They need to process.  If a man is left with your silence, it forces him to think.  If you insist on talking or discussing your feelings and what went wrong, he doesn't have time to think, he just has time to be annoyed.  It also shows you as even more clingy or desperate.  If you have had a parting of ways, the best tactic you can practice is to be silent.

Often when a man is suddenly not around you or talking to you, if he is used to doing so, he may begin to miss you.  This is when a man realizes his true feelings towards you.  He won't get in touch with his feelings if you are forcing him to do so.  He needs time.  If he truly cares for you, he will remember more about the good times than the bad as he calms down. 

Several years ago, I was in a relationship with a man and yes I loved him.  I am pretty sure he loved me too.  We rarely fought, and always got along and had a really good healthy connection.  One night we did fight, he was upset and just walked out on me.  I did not know then what I know now.  I got in my car and attempted to follow him and force him to tell me what he was thinking.  He wouldn't.  I returned home only to show back up at his house the next day.  He then broke up with me for good, telling me the ole, "It's not you, it's me" and "I am not ready for a relationship".  This was after a year and his declaration that he loved me.

Would it have had a different ending had I remained silent for a few days and allowed him to calm and then come to me?  Chances are good that could have happened.  By contacting him continuously, I pushed him further away.  My chasing and talking was not a man mistake eraser.

Another thing when we screw up with men in our lives when we don't give them space happens.  The more we open our mouths and try to apologize, justify and talk, the more damage we do.  It just usually ends up reinforcing the very thing that they were upset about in the first place.  Also men expect women to behave with drama.  Be the woman that is different.  There are many man mistake erasers, but the #1 man mistake eraser is your silence.

Friday, April 1, 2011

How To Get His Interest Back

Are you stressing over a man that seems to have lost interest? His calling has decreased or stopped, he doesn't text like he used to and isn't making plans with you. Have you scared him away?

Women often scare men away by making some of the most common mistakes. Did you start taking the controls of the relationship? Maybe you did the chasing by calling, texting, suggesting outings together. This is what I call trying to control the outcome or get the results you desire. Thing is, this doesn't work. If he isn't doing the pursuing, you have upset the balance. This is one of the most common man mistakes we make.

Another mistake is being clingy or demanding. Maybe you question him and his where abouts when you aren't together. Maybe you ask him to check in when he goes out without you or worse, you text him the entire time he is out with his friends. Men see this mistake as he is going to lose his freedom. Loss of freedom is huge for a man.

Did you ask him where you stand, or how he feels or where is your relationship heading? We call this having the talk and it is almost always a big man mistake. This causes the man to freak out and often results in his disappearance. Is there a man mistake eraser to fix this one? It's a tough one for sure.

Did you have a disagreement and then you sent him a long email telling him all about your feelings. When a man opens an email and sees it is a long note, his first thought is, oh boy, she is going to talk about her feelings and tell me everything I did wrong. Nine times out of ten, his preconceived ideas about the email will cause him to miss the point, not to mention he may see you as a love sick school girl.

Whatever man mistake you made, your first instinct is to fix it. You think, if I could just explain, if I could just get him to understand we could work this out. The fact of the matter is, it's all about timing. If you try to force the issue too soon, you may just blow it for good. It's best to take a deep breathe, and don't act when your emotions are all over the place.

You emotions are what got you into this, they aren't going to get you out. Before you get out your man mistake eraser, let the emotions settle down. You will see things more clearly once you have calmed. These things are not often solved over night.

I can remember a time when I tried to force a man to hear me out. In hindsight, had I just waited a week or so for him to calm down, not to mention me, I probably could have salvaged it. I didn't though, I pushed and pushed and by doing so, I pushed him right out of my life. Don't make this mistake. Forcing it is not a a way to erase your mistakes.

There is a man mistake eraser, and with the right techniques, you can fix almost any screw up.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5983896