Should I Ask Him Out

It's 2011 right? I hear that all the time from guys who ask me to call them. Does 2011 give them an excuse to be lazy? Should you ask men out?

I have an issue with this. For starters if I ask a man out, how will I ever know if he was really interested in me to start with? I won't. It just doesn't feel right to me. I mean, I still remember how exciting it is to have a guy you really like actually ask you out. Wow, what a high that is.

Another thing, has the general make up of men changed all that much just because it is 2011? Don't they still have that hunter instinct, that thrill for the chase? Has that really disappeared? I mean isn't our job to entice them, lure them and have them ask us out? I think so. Call me old fashioned, call me hard headed, but hell would freeze over before I ask men out.

Let's say I am in a club somewhere. I see a man across the bar. It seems so much more appealing to me to have him approach me first. If I get up, walk across the bar, doesn't that make me look desperate, doesn't that show me in an unfavorable light? The light of the pursuer.

Sure if you ask men out they will find it flattering, but will it do anything to enhance his attraction towards you? I doubt it. You just took away his challenge. Even if he is shy, you can bet he is constantly thinking of ways to ask you out. Once he does, he gets a high, you get a high and we are all happy. Don't deprive him of the thrill of anticipation. Anticipating asking you out. When you say yes, he gets rewarded.

I think if you ask men out, you screw with the natural dynamics. Men love a feminine woman. It's what attracts them. If you are asking him out, well you are playing the masculine role. He also knows ahead of time that you are for sure interested in him. That may be all fine and well, but do you really want him to know where you stand so soon?

Men love mystery in a woman. If you ask men out and the mystery is gone. Mystery is a key ingredient for attracting a man. It's one of the things that if you will be patient, it can compel him to ask you out instead. Don't take away his mystery. Give him something to strive for. Your job is to bait, his is to reel in.

If you want a guy to ask you out, flirting is your best course of action. If you can learn to flirt and do it well, with your body language and what you say, you won't have to ask men out.

Should I Ask Him Out

First off when you ask him out as opposed to him asking you out, you deprive yourself of some pleasure. Personally speaking, I don't feel comfortable asking a guy out. It takes all of the fun out of it. I love that butterfly feeling I get when the phone rings. We even as grown women when a man we are into makes that call our heart falls on the floor. We forget to breathe. Then when he asks us out, we scream in delight and do a little dance. Why on earth would we want to miss that euphoria and ruin it all by having to ask him out. It kills the wonderful natural dynamics. The thrill. Do you really think if you ask a him out, he screams and does a little dance when he hangs up the phone? I just can't see it, can you?

I have a girlfriend that met a guy a few weeks ago, of course he did not call and she called me daily and asked can't I at least text him. I always said no, wait. Yesterday he called, asked her out. She immediately called me. She was screaming over and over "he asked me out, he asked me out!". When she was finally done, I said, "now wasn't that so much better than if you had asked him?" She said "yes, yes". Had she asked this guy out, she would not had that sense of victory, the knowledge that he truly wanted to go out with her. Such a great feeling and a key to laying the foundation for the rest of the relationship.

Now lets look at his feelings on this. Men like to be the hunter. They like to get what is not so easy to obtain. They are proud of their toys that they had to work for. If you ask him out, well you were easy and he had to do little work. This makes it all too easy for him and easy you don't want to be. You want to be that which he values. You want him to have to step out of his comfort zone and make the move. It's a chase. As long as you keep moving he will keep chasing, the minute you stop and be still or make his job easy, he will follow your lead and do the same. Don't ask him out, be patient and let him come to you. This also lays the groundwork for the rest of the relationship.

Now suppose he isn't asking you out. Well there is you answer right there, stop stressing over it. If he wanted to he would and if you ask him out still in spite of this, chances are good he is just going for lack of something better to do. It's an easy evening. Nothing special because it required no effort on his part. So when you think, should I ask him out, think again. Think long term satisfaction, not instant gratification

I am a single woman with an interest in helping women to date smart. I have read book after book about dating and relationships and have developed quite an understanding as to how men think. I have seen many women learn to date without drama and watched their dating life soar to success.