When Your Boyfriend Takes You for Granted

When your boyfriend takes you for granted, you feel it. I doubt it's your imagination. He very well may be doing just that, taking you for granted. Before you cast a finger his way though, really examine if you could be a contributor to this fact. Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations. We think because we feel a man should show us more, in his mind, it might not be this way at all.

Linda was dating Mike. Mike and Linda get along well, but Linda just started doing random things for Mike without Mike asking her to. She heard him say he was out of dog food, she was at the grocery, she just picked some up. He said thank you. Few days later, she washed all of his dishes up, he didn't ask her too, she just did it. The good deeds started adding up and Linda sort of started keeping a silent score. Mike on the other hand sees it as he didn't ask for it and may even be uncomfortable about it. Now he thinks, oh God, Linda is going to start expecting me to do these things for her. It doesn't work that way.
One thing is for sure though regardless, if he is taking you for granted, nagging, talking, asking him what's wrong, arguing, telling him how you feel will NOT fix it. If you are telling your boyfriend that he is taking you for granted, you are wasting you breath. You have to show him, not tell him.

Pull back from the relationship. Not 100%, but start doing other things. Start investing into yourself and treating yourself the way you wished he would treat you. If you don't feel appreciated when you do something for him, stop the doing. Back off from the actions that contribute.

Men are far sighted, which means they see you clearer at a distance. They really do. Give yourself some space and watch how he comes towards you. When you take your space a man notices. If it's a man you are in a relationship with, he needs to know how you feel, but timing is everything. If your boyfriend is taking you for granted, give him the space to come to you because when he comes to you, he will be ready to hear what you have to say, not when you want it to happen. Patience pays off if you want long term satisfaction.

Men are easy. If you are struggling, perhaps you don't really understand them. You can get what you want out of your relationship, men are simple, really.

MEN MADE EASY.

How to Make Him Want You

If you are wondering how to make him want you, then you probably have a sort of crush on a particular man or maybe you have been on a few dates and really like him and want him to feel the same.  In other words, you want him plain and simple.  You want him to want you too.

There is no secret formula on how to make him want you but I do have some advice that will help you.  First get it out of your head that there is anything specific you can say or do to make him want you.  There isn't.  Men don't respond to words, but they do respond to distance.  This means they are far sighted.  They see you best when you are far away.  Sound crazy?  Not really. 

Think about the last time you were told by a man that he missed you, really missed you.  It's because you weren't there correct?  If a man misses you, chances are good he really wants you to start with so how do you use this to make him want you?

The answer, you always remain just slightly out of reach.  In other words, don't make him a priority at all, not if he isn't on the same page as you yet.  If he asks you out, to hang out what ever, I know sometimes you just are dying to say yes because you so want to see him.  Consider saying No sometimes.  You have other things to do.  

Men want what they can't have.  Ever seen a guy mopping over a girl he couldn't have?  I bet you have.  Yet there is one right there with him that would make a wonderful loving girlfriend, but he wants someone else.  Why is that?  It's human nature, that's what it is.  

It's like playing the slot machines.  A man loses a few spins, but wins one every now and then.  It's just enough to keep him going and keep him playing.  Anticipating the big win.  He keeps pulling the handle down.  You are the slot machine to a degree. 

Speaking of anticipation, that is another key as to how to make him want you.  Anticipation engages a man's imagination.  A man's imagination is where he falls for you at.  If he isn't granted access to you at all times, he will be more apt to anticipate when you are together.  Anticipation is a very strong aphrodisiac for sure.

There is nothing you can wear, say or do to make a man want you, well unless you tell him you are not wearing panties.  Then he of course wants you right then and there, but that isn't all you want I am sure.  You want to be the woman he adores. 









 

Stop Getting Hurt By Men Forever

Below written by Evan Marc Katz for the Lovely Ladies that follow my blog.

The One Thing You Need to Learn to Stop Getting Hurt By Men Forever –

I’ve got a few questions for you about your love life that will show you a completely different way to approach your love life. Ready? Go.

Q: How many times in your life have you been in love?
A: Two? Three? Four?

Q: How many of those relationships lasted?
A: If you’re single, the answer is zero.

Q: What percent of men is cute, successful, smart, kind, funny, compatible AND emotionally available for a long-term relationship?
A: According to most women, about .00001%.

Q: What percent of those amazing men also think YOU’RE cute, smart, kind, funny, compatible and emotionally available for a relationship?
A: Not enough, and rarely the right ones.

When you look at all of these things together, without any emotion, you’ll see exactly what I see: the fact that ANY relationship gets off the ground is remarkable.

To the naked eye, FAILURE is the default setting in dating.

You heard me. Failure.

Now, to be clear: I’ve failed a LOT more than you have.

I’ve gone on over 300 dates and committed to probably fifteen “girlfriends” before getting married. Which is why I’m not too fazed by failure.

You shouldn’t be, either.

Given that 99% of men are definitely NOT your future husband, getting upset when this proves to be true is like getting upset that you didn’t win the Powerball. Yeah, it’s unfortunate that you lost, but it’s also quite predictable.

Which is why I want you to write this down on a Post-It note right now:
“No man is real until he’s your boyfriend.”

A cute photo, a winning profile, flirty emails, an incredible first date, intense chemistry, mind-blowing sex…. NONE of these things mean he’s your boyfriend.

It’s not that you’re “wrong” to get excited about a promising man; it’s that, in 99% of instances, it’s premature and you set yourself up for heartbreak.

Your takeaway is to not get too emotionally involved when it comes to a guy with “potential”.

Start getting excited when he’s taken his profile down, called you his girlfriend, met your family, and started making vacation plans for the summer.

The other bit of perspective I’d like to provide is that your last guy’s disappearance shouldn’t be all that disappointing.

Sure, you felt disappointment. It’s hard not to take things like that personally.

Except for two facts:

--> 1. This wasn’t personal
--> 2. You didn’t lose your future husband, so why be disappointed?

Although your guy may have initially pushed for immediate commitment, he ended up having second thoughts. Reasonable second thoughts, I might add.

It may not be popular to say, but if you were seeing a guy, and you drew the conclusion that you didn’t want to spend the next 40 years with him, you’d probably have to reconsider whether you were ready to commit.
Your last boyfriend’s flaking doesn’t mean he’s evil.

It means he leapt before he looked.
He shot first and asked questions later.
He over promised and under delivered.

In short, he screwed up and ended up hurting an innocent woman.

No one is at fault.

And if no one is at fault, there’s no value in beating yourself up about what she did “wrong”. The answer is nothing.

There’s no value in getting pissed at your disappearing guy. He’s like a manwho was driving 90 mph on the freeway and missed his exit. He was so enthusiastic that he was oblivious to the fact that he wasn’t really ready to commit to you.

Finally, there’s no value in lamenting what “could have been”. It’s over. Move along.

The right guy will come along soon enough – and he will certainly not disappear.

But the only way for this to happen is for you to let go of your negativity, to let go of your fear of getting hurt, to let go of your frustration at the men who don’t write to you online, and to embrace the unknown of the dating process.

Put another way: if you quit dating and men entirely, you don’t meet ANYBODY.

If you persevere, another cute guy might waltz in her door next week – and never want to leave.

“Never, never, never quit,” said Winston Churchill, and he’s 100% right.

The only thing you can do when things go wrong in love is to keep going.

And if you need a push in the right direction, I would highly recommend checking out my eBook, “Why He Disappeared: The Smart, Strong, Successful Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men and Keeping the Right One Hooked Forever”.

Why He Disappeared

In a matter of minutes, you’ll be able to let go of all of the pain in your past, learn how to choose a better boyfriend in the future, and understand what men are thinking for the rest of your life.

Click here to learn more:

By Evan Marc Katz

How to Stop Fighting With Your Boyfriend

Do you often end up in fights with your boyfriend.  Starts out as something simple and next thing you know he has shut down and you are talking to a wall or either you are yelling at one another.  What I am going to suggest as to how to stop fighting with your boyfriend may seem simple, but hear me out.

Understand him.  I work with couples who fight.  It's almost always about both parties not getting their needs met, but more times than not, it's the woman expecting her man to behave in the emotional manner in which she does.  This just isn't going to happen as a normal thing.  Men just aren't wired like we are.  They really want to make us happy and the more we fight with them, the more they feel like they aren't making us happy.  The more they don't feel like they are making us happy, the worse it becomes, they stop trying.  It's a vicious cycle.  You can stop fighting with your boyfriend though.  It's up to you.

Do you ever hear yourself saying any of the following to your boyfriend?

• You never______________fill in the blank
• You always act like this when_______________fill in the bland
• You never listen to me
• You don't do_____________fill in the blank.

In other words, you aren't getting your point across with words.  All they are hearing when you say or accuse of these things is that they aren't making you happy which will destroy a man's attraction towards you long term.  Men can tune out words, they have been doing since their mothers.  If their mothers would just give a tongue lashing and nothing more, they learned that was a small price to pay.  It's consequences that men pay attention to and actions.

I am not saying punish your man, but there are other ways to get what you want out of a man other than harping on him making  him feel bad about something.  Men aren't mind readers, really they aren't.

I have a couple that I work with.  By all appearances, he treats her terrible, or he did.  She wasn't getting her needs met and instead of going about it in a healthy way, she badgered him, thus making him feel not so worthy. It just got worse and worse. She was focused on her needs and had never considered his.  When she started understanding him better and what his needs were, she was able to turn the relationship around.  The all the time fighting couple, now rarely fights.

If you want to know how to stop fighting with your boyfriend, you first have to change how you react and respond to him as a man first.  He is a man first and always will be.  Men Made Easy.

My Boyfriend Is Depressed

My boyfriend is depressed.  I have heard many a women say this to me in my lifetime and since I have been doing coaching read many an email that started out like this.  "My boyfriend broke up with me because he is depressed".  The following email with that exact title entered my inbox a week ago and I have been giving it a lot of thought.

Robin,

My boyfriend and I have been together for 13 months.  A couple months ago he became more distant, breaking plans, not acting excited to see me, he seemed bored.  I tried to talk to him over and over.  Today he told me it was best that we break up because he is just depressed and not good for anybody now.  I am confused.  He still goes out with his friends, but when he is with me, he doesn't pay me much attention and sometimes just ignores me.  How can I help him and get back together.  I am devastated and love him and want to help him.  I asked him to go to a doctor and get help, but he won't.  I want to show him I will stand beside him.  How do I convince him that I love him and will be here for him.  I want to be here for him and help him.

Sara

I am no shrink, that is for sure and I have dealt with depression in my lifetime, mostly that of others.  I can't diagnose nor tell someone how to deal with depression, but can point out some things that could be going on here.  Below is my reply.

Sara,

Depression is a difficult thing to deal with, that is for sure.  If your boyfriend is depressed or not I can't know this.  I do know that depression is sometimes just an excuse and fits right in there with the others.  You know, the it's not you, it's me thing, or the I just don't know what I want.  I would bet that he has said these things or implied them at some point prior to him breaking up with you.

All you can do is accept this for now.  To wrap yourself up into trying to fix him will only break you.  It will damage your spirit and you won't be much use to him if he truly is depressed.  The more you try to fix him the more harm you do.  Talking to him about it, making suggestions just tells him you don't really trust his decision making skills and it makes him feel less like a man.  Talking does little good to turn a relationship around until the man is ready to talk.

Give him space.  Go on about your life as if he weren't in it anymore. Accept the break up for now. I know this is so hard, but he may miss your support down the line.  When this happens, he may contact you and at this point, he will be in a place to actually hear what it is you say.  When we talk to me from our space, which means from what we want, they really don't hear us.  What you want right now Sara is to make it all right and get back together.  If what you want does not match what he wants, you are wasting your breath.  You can't convince a man to love the way that you love.  If your boyfriend is depressed, he isn't really in a place to love you the way you want or need.

Another thing comes out when you give a man his space. The truth comes out.  Is he really depressed or does he just want to break up.  I could write a book on this to be honest because it goes so much deeper.

Bottom line is you have to take care of you first before you can even think about taking care of your boyfriend that is depressed or says he is depressed.  One of the things that could be causing this distance that happened with your man is perhaps I suspect you began putting his needs before your own.  When you do this, it shifts everything in the relationship and not for the good.  A man is not challenged by this and the excitement dies.  I am aware that relationships do reach a point after a certain amount of time where they can become stagnant or out of the honey moon phase as I call it.  It doesn't really have to be this way.

If your boyfriend is depressed and broke up with you because of it, well you have to accept this.  You can't fix him.  If you work on fixing yourself however, it often reignites that flame in him.  The girl he fell in love with is back.  You can have the relationship you want, but it starts with you and your ability to inspire a man to want to be a better man.  I think that is a line from a movie but is so close to the truth.

What to Do When He Pulls Away

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We have all been there wondering why do men pull away from us when we feel it is going so right.  It may be a few great dates or it may be a longer term relationship.  Regardless when you feel him pulling away, something is usually going on.  It could be nothing it could be something.  What do do when he pulls away? 

Maybe he stopped calling as often, maybe he quit texting.  Perhaps you were going out regularly and now he has stopped pursuing.  Regardless, you feel the distance, you feel it when men pull away.  It's your gut talking and usually when it's your gut talking, you probably need to listen fast.

Your instinct is to ask him what is wrong.  What is he thinking.  Men hate this, they really do. Nothing will put a man on the defense quicker than this.  Chances are you aren't going to get a straight answer because at the moment he doesn't really want to tell you.  He may even get short or irritated with you when you ask or say the usual, nothing is wrong.

One thing I can promise you is the more you push, the further he will run.  What to do when a man pulls away, though not easy, is to mirror him.  Lean back.  Give him space, lots of it and get busy with your life.  The main reason men pull away in the first place is they often feel you are way ahead of them in the relationship.  They don't know how to verbalize this, so they pull back.

The art of leaning back may be the one thing that can save your relationship when he pulls away.  It's a skill that when learned correctly will save you years of heartaches.  You can learn this art of leaning back and cultivating feminine magnetism here.

 

Pheromones and Sexual Attraction

I made this video for the ladies on my forum.  I have a community full of fabulous women here that you are welcome to join.  They offer tons of support, insight and wisdom about dating and relationships.  Please check up out and join us.  It's free!

You can find Pheromones here at Pure Romance