Showing posts with label why he disappeared. Show all posts
Showing posts with label why he disappeared. Show all posts

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Why He Disappeared

Friday, December 16, 2011

Why Do Men Pull Away


Why Do Men Pull Away
Men pull away for many reasons, but the main one is usually on some level, he doesn't feel safe with you. Maybe you got clingy or needy. Did you start questioning him as to who he is with, or where he has been. Do you want him to check in? This comes across as a huge warning flag to a man of a woman who will possibly become controlling in the future. He fears the loss of his freedom.

If you stepped into the relationship in your heart and head before he did, this will also cause him to pull away. If you are giving more to it than he is, such as calling and texting him first and doing most of the initiating and planning, this makes a man take a step back and this is often why men pull away. They like to lead. They like to be challenged. A woman that does most of the work in a relationship just loses his attraction and fast.
If you are wondering why is he pulling away, ask yourself how do you really think you make him feel. Men fall in love with the way you make them feel. They like to be the hero. Do you allow him to be your hero or are you busy trying to be his?

Men love a woman who can receive and appreciate him. If you give too much too fast, this does not inspire the hero in him. This plants the thought in his head that you may expect the same in return. Men want it to be their idea to give. If you are giving more than he is, this causes him to feel obligated to you. This is an attraction killer for sure and could be why he is pulling away.

Do you know how to make a man feel like a man. Do you know the real truth why he disappears.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Why He Disappeared After Sex

It's pretty common for guys to disappear after sex.  I hear it a lot.  There are a number of reasons for this, but mainly it boils down to really not having much to do with the fact that he just had sex with you.  Of course there are guys out there that are only looking to score, but it's up to you to learn to distinguish the difference.

Guys can tell why you have sex with them.  If you are doing it just to please him, he senses it.  This spells desperation to him.  A guy would rather you have sex because you wanted to.  Otherwise he feels as if it's some ploy to trap him.  Often women start putting off the vibe that they think they are now in a relationship.  Sex does not equal a relationship. 

If the truth be told, he was probably going to disappear if you slept with him or not.  Many are under the belief that guys see them as easy when they sleep with them to soon.  There may be some truth to this, but if the guy is into you to start with, it's not going to matter.  Where women screw up with this is that once they sleep with a guy, they are ready to now invest their hearts.  This is where the easy comes into play in reality.  A man likes to work for your heart.  If you give it away quickly, he doesn't see it's value.  He thinks he isn't anything special.

If a guy disappears after you have had sex, it's one of two things.

1.  He wasn't that into you in the first place.  It's really no one to blame here.  We can't help who we are or aren't into.  I imagine you too have felt like disappearing on a guy after you had sex.  Maybe you did it in a moment of weakness and you really didn't like the guy.  Maybe you were drunk, who knows, but it happens.    We all do it or have done it.  That is one reason why he disappeared.

2.  The second reason is how you behave afterwards.  If you start acting like a girlfriend before he has made that move, it's a turn off.  If you got all emotional, well you made him feel guilty.  Guilt and sex don't go together.  If you expect it to mean something special to him, he will sense it.  Most men don't see sex as something special, at least not in the early dating stage. 

Then of course there is the chance that you aren't that great in bed.  If you were more focused on pleasing him and not focused on allowing him to please you, this is not good.  Men feel good when they make you feel good.  Picture Tarzan beating his chest and you will get the idea.  

Men bond before sex, women bond after sex.  It's sort of screwed up, but it is what it is.  For more truths on why he disappeared, visit here.

Monday, November 14, 2011

The Key to If He Likes You or Not

I have heard women fret about getting the attention of men.  I have had many even ask me how do I get his attention.  There really is no secret move we can make, or something profound we can say to achieve this. Many worry what if he doesn't like me.  Have you once considered flipping the tables.  Why not for a change wonder, hmmm, will I even like this guy?  I wonder if this guy has what it takes to get MY attention.

I know and you probably know the key to it all is self love.  You also probably want to cringe if one more person tells you this is the key.  I mean what is the formula to this self love?  Sure the gurus can tell you that is the key, but unless they tell you how to get this so called self love, it does you little good.  Finding self love is often a long journey.  To many it's elusive and seems out of their grasp.

So what is the answer?  You can start by faking it until you make it.  Some like this term, others don't.  I do like it and it has served me well.  For example, we have heard how powerful a smile is or how something as simple as using a person's first name has an impact.  We know this, but few practice it.  Look around you.  Next time you go to a convenience store or grocery store notice how many clerks are actually smiling.  Look at the people in line.  Chances are good they are frustrated more than smiling.  How many of these people read a nametag on the clerk and actually call them by it.  These two things alone can disarm a person.

So what if you just practiced these two little things.  Smile if you didn't feel like it at EVER BODY.  When talking with a person, say their name.  Both may not always seem natural.  Do it anyway and notice the person's response.  It will be positive more times than not.  This acts as reinforcement to you of the positive kind.  You get rewarded.  Do anything often enough and it becomes a habit.  Hence you faked it until you made it.

There are a lot of great books that have these dating rules in them.  That is the sole purpose of these books.  They give you a blue print to follow until you get there.  The reactions of men have been studied for you and they teach you certain behaviors that just naturally stimulate a man to want to get to know you better.  After you try the principles in these books and get positive results, it just reinforces it to you and you continue as it becomes second nature.  

A few of these books are below.   I call them Dating Bibles.

Why He Disappeared, Evan Marc Katz - 5 Stars
The Women Men Adore, Bob Grant -5 stars
Calling Men, Mimi Tanner - 5 stars



If you are wondering if a man likes you or not, think, do I like myself?  Why on earth would he not like me?   It's more likely I won't like him or rather I won't see him as someone I want to further invest into, not the other way around. 

Friday, October 28, 2011

Why He Disappeared After The First Date

Have you ever been on a first date and he didn't call back? You thought the date went great. You felt a connection and he may have even said those famous words, I will call you. Then radio silence. Day one you think well he may not want to appear desperate. Day two you think maybe he is doing the old three day waiting rule. The days go by and still nothing.

You are wondering why he disappeared. You start to analyze. Maybe I did something wrong. You go over the date in your head. Then you start analyzing him. You think things like, he did say he had a few busy days coming up at work. You justify it from his point, which translates to making excuses for why he disappeared and why he didn't call you back.


Here is the reality though. When a guy doesn't call you back and drops off the face of the earth after the first date, there is a good chance he isn't on the same page as you. Every guy is not going to fall for you, just like you aren't going to fall for every guy. After a first date, a guy really isn't invested into you, nor should you be invested into him. It's nothing personal and you shouldn't take it personal.

Dating is a process. Guys will disappear, it just is. I am sure you can think of a few guys you would have liked to disappear on as well. Have you ever avoided a man's phone calls because you just weren't that into him? It may very well have been nothing really about him personally. You just didn't feel a spark or connection. If you were into him, chances are good your heart raced when he called and you jumped to answer that phone.

Men are no different. If they like you, they will want to call you. They will want to secure that second date. They won't leave you wondering why he disappeared. Yes it's disappointing when he doesn't call you again, but it's part of life. Many women still after a guy disappears, keep trying to nudge him. They text, they call, they initiate. If you have done this, you are chasing him. How do you like it when a guy that you have ruled out keeps calling and texting you? It's annoying. That being said, the best way to handle it when men disappear is to let him. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for a one-sided relationship that may result in heart break.
If this has happened to you however, more than once, you may want to dig deeper and see if in fact there is some signal you may be sending off that makes men disappear.


Internet's Top Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz - offers dating and relationship advice to smart, strong, successful women... Click here to find out more!


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Why Did He Lead Me On and Then Disappear

A man often does send us these signals that he is into us right from the beginning of dating. He calls, sets up dates in advance, texts and keeps in touch. You start to get excited and let your guard down. You feel good about this, after all the dating gurus say watch a man's actions and not his words right? So what happens here? Why are you are left wondering why he disappeared without a clue.
It's important to realize men often live in the moment. Sure they have goals, just not at this moment. They may give you gifts in the beginning, nice thoughtful phone calls and want to spend time with you. These things are great and hopefully they will last, but they don't always do so. The man has one goal in the moment upon meeting you. His goal is to woo you and win you. This does not always translate that he wants a commitment.
The man who you felt lead you on and disappeared may very well want a relationship. He didn't lie to you when he told you this necessarily. He really does want a relationship, he just doesn't know if he wants it with you or right now. Have you ever started dating a guy and really liked him in the beginning only to get a few weeks or even months down the road and decide he isn't really the guy for you. You still want a relationship, you just realize it's not with him. You may have even told him a relationship is what you wanted. Should you be tarred and feathered for changing your mind?
If you don't think men are motivated by winning, think again. Observe them in a group watching a ball game or race or other sport and you decide. When they meet a girl that gets their interest, their goal for the time being becomes to win her. In the beginning, you can enjoy this winning behavior, but the true test comes later.
If you have been dating a while and his efforts stay the same or increase, you may have found a keeper. If on the other hand, you notice his efforts begin to decrease, chances are he isn't in it for the long haul. Hopefully you won't be so hopelessly in love at this point that you will struggle to let him go or start making excuses for him. Hopefully you won't still try to hold on and hope that he will change his mind or be left scratching your head wondering why he disappeared.
Have you seen more than one man disappear from your life? There is a real truth to why men disappear.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6586898
 

Internet's Top Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz - offers dating and relationship advice to smart, strong, successful women... Click here to find out more!




Friday, August 19, 2011

The Disappearing Man Syndrome

Have you ever blown a guy off, as in avoided him? Answer that honestly. Has there ever been a guy who was a nice guy but you didn't feel any attraction for him. You wished you could but you didn't, so you told him you just wanted to be friends. In reality, you probably didn't care if you remained friends or not, but you didn't want to hurt his feelings. Men often skip over the let's be friends and just disappear instead.

Have you ever dated a guy for a couple of months and then he got clingy. You began to doubt the relationship and you started creating a little distance. Seems this just made him more insecure and he began to ask you where the relationship was headed and started to want to talk about the relationship more and more, dissecting anything you said. What did you want to do with this guy. My guess, you wanted to disappear.

Some women talk so much about where the relationship is going that they talk themselves right out of the relationship. This pushes women away when men do it, why are men different. Most women are trying so hard to get the outcome that they desire that they kill the attraction in the process.

I got an email from a client. She had been chatting with this man online for a couple of days and they seem to be hitting it off. They made a date. Three days prior to the date he called it off. Seems someone he had previously met was back in the picture. He was respectful enough to tell her the truth, yet she still wondered if she should stay in touch if it worked out. Are you kidding me? He just told her loud and clear why he disappeared. Fatal mistake, don't hold on at all to the disappearing man.

Men Disappear for one of three reasons:

1. He is not that into you. It's not his fault. We can't help it if a man isn't into us, no more than we can help when we are not into them. It happens. Move on. Find a man who is into you. He is out there.

2. He is not ready for a relationship. He may think he is ready. You may have found him on a dating site. You would think all men there should be ready. They do state that in their profile. It doesn't mean a man is ready in reality though, trust me. If he is not ready for a relationship, that is a top reason why he disappeared.

3. It's not him, it's you. You did something to scare him off. Something that didn't make him feel safe. Maybe you got to clingy. Maybe you started acting too much like a girlfriend too fast Something killed his attraction, you can count on that. If it hadn't, he would not be one of the men that disappear.

With the first two it's a no brainer really. You can't make these men ready and you can't make them like you. You don't need a man who isn't ready and you don't want one that isn't sure if he wants you. If it's number 3, you may not really understand what men treasure in a woman and what makes them feel safe and fall in love.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6501466



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Monday, June 27, 2011

Stop Getting Hurt By Men Forever

Below written by Evan Marc Katz for the Lovely Ladies that follow my blog.

The One Thing You Need to Learn to Stop Getting Hurt By Men Forever –

I’ve got a few questions for you about your love life that will show you a completely different way to approach your love life. Ready? Go.

Q: How many times in your life have you been in love?
A: Two? Three? Four?

Q: How many of those relationships lasted?
A: If you’re single, the answer is zero.

Q: What percent of men is cute, successful, smart, kind, funny, compatible AND emotionally available for a long-term relationship?
A: According to most women, about .00001%.

Q: What percent of those amazing men also think YOU’RE cute, smart, kind, funny, compatible and emotionally available for a relationship?
A: Not enough, and rarely the right ones.

When you look at all of these things together, without any emotion, you’ll see exactly what I see: the fact that ANY relationship gets off the ground is remarkable.

To the naked eye, FAILURE is the default setting in dating.

You heard me. Failure.

Now, to be clear: I’ve failed a LOT more than you have.

I’ve gone on over 300 dates and committed to probably fifteen “girlfriends” before getting married. Which is why I’m not too fazed by failure.

You shouldn’t be, either.

Given that 99% of men are definitely NOT your future husband, getting upset when this proves to be true is like getting upset that you didn’t win the Powerball. Yeah, it’s unfortunate that you lost, but it’s also quite predictable.

Which is why I want you to write this down on a Post-It note right now:
“No man is real until he’s your boyfriend.”

A cute photo, a winning profile, flirty emails, an incredible first date, intense chemistry, mind-blowing sex…. NONE of these things mean he’s your boyfriend.

It’s not that you’re “wrong” to get excited about a promising man; it’s that, in 99% of instances, it’s premature and you set yourself up for heartbreak.

Your takeaway is to not get too emotionally involved when it comes to a guy with “potential”.

Start getting excited when he’s taken his profile down, called you his girlfriend, met your family, and started making vacation plans for the summer.

The other bit of perspective I’d like to provide is that your last guy’s disappearance shouldn’t be all that disappointing.

Sure, you felt disappointment. It’s hard not to take things like that personally.

Except for two facts:

--> 1. This wasn’t personal
--> 2. You didn’t lose your future husband, so why be disappointed?

Although your guy may have initially pushed for immediate commitment, he ended up having second thoughts. Reasonable second thoughts, I might add.

It may not be popular to say, but if you were seeing a guy, and you drew the conclusion that you didn’t want to spend the next 40 years with him, you’d probably have to reconsider whether you were ready to commit.
Your last boyfriend’s flaking doesn’t mean he’s evil.

It means he leapt before he looked.
He shot first and asked questions later.
He over promised and under delivered.

In short, he screwed up and ended up hurting an innocent woman.

No one is at fault.

And if no one is at fault, there’s no value in beating yourself up about what she did “wrong”. The answer is nothing.

There’s no value in getting pissed at your disappearing guy. He’s like a manwho was driving 90 mph on the freeway and missed his exit. He was so enthusiastic that he was oblivious to the fact that he wasn’t really ready to commit to you.

Finally, there’s no value in lamenting what “could have been”. It’s over. Move along.

The right guy will come along soon enough – and he will certainly not disappear.

But the only way for this to happen is for you to let go of your negativity, to let go of your fear of getting hurt, to let go of your frustration at the men who don’t write to you online, and to embrace the unknown of the dating process.

Put another way: if you quit dating and men entirely, you don’t meet ANYBODY.

If you persevere, another cute guy might waltz in her door next week – and never want to leave.

“Never, never, never quit,” said Winston Churchill, and he’s 100% right.

The only thing you can do when things go wrong in love is to keep going.

And if you need a push in the right direction, I would highly recommend checking out my eBook, “Why He Disappeared: The Smart, Strong, Successful Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men and Keeping the Right One Hooked Forever”.

Why He Disappeared

In a matter of minutes, you’ll be able to let go of all of the pain in your past, learn how to choose a better boyfriend in the future, and understand what men are thinking for the rest of your life.

Click here to learn more:

By Evan Marc Katz

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Review Of Evan Marc Katz - Why He Disappeared

Evan Marc Katz has a book called Why He Disappeared. This is one of the most practical, no nonsense dating books on the market about men and how they think. Katz tells it like it is as to why men disappears. He explains how men form attachments and what attracts them and keeps them attracted.

After reading this book, you will see so much of how you may have went wrong in approaching men and relationships. He explains how sometimes it's not about attracting the wrong types of men, but often more about accepting the wrong types of men.

We attract all types of men, but often we screw up by accepting them too soon. We just roll into a comfort zone with them right off the bat. They come on full speed ahead and we fall right into it. Next thing you know it feels like a relationship, yet he just up and disappears. What happened.

The way he saw it was not the way you saw it. Your perception of what was happening between the two of you doesn't match his. Men live in the moment. They are driven by sex. Most men will admit to jumping in too soon, having sex and not thinking it through or of the consequences. Instead of being hard on them, understand how to make this work in your favor.

Why He Disappeared!

Men have their escape route planned ahead of time. If they start feeling smothered or getting cold feet, they have an out. They can always say, "I never made a commitment or I never said we were exclusive". This way they hold onto the fact that they didn't really lead you on, despite if their actions told you otherwise.

Why He Disappeared!

In Evan Marc Katz's book, he tells it like it is and sheds light on why he disappeared.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Top Reasons Why Men Disappear - It's About Eggs Again

It happens a lot, women meet and interesting man, have some great dates, good connection and then the radio silence. He stops calling as often and you can feel him distancing from you. You wonder what you did or what exactly made him disappear. One of the main reasons why men disappear is about your eggs in his basket.

Have you ever heard the term "don't put all of your eggs in one basket"? In the dating world I associate that with putting all your hopes on one guy. Often a woman meets a man, she likes him and instantly she stops dating others, she closes all doors to other options. She thinks this is logical. The guy is showing interest, calling, taking her out so why shouldn't she give him a chance and give him all of her attention? Slow down sister, if you do this you will soon be asking why he disappeared.

For starters, usually the guy isn't on the same page. Not in the beginning. Men aren't in a hurry to jump into a relationship. If you put all of your eggs in his basket early in the dating game, he is going to be overwhelmed. He now has to be responsible for all of your eggs. Wow! That's a lot of responsibility. Men sense it when you put all your hopes onto them. It overwhelms a man and you are left wondering why he disappeared.

If you just put all your eggs in his basket, he doesn't have to work to get your eggs. You just fell into the girlfriend role without him having to put anything into it. That doesn't make you much of a challenge does it? It's the woman who makes him work to get those eggs that wins his heart, not the woman who just gives them away.

Men really don't like instant relationships. It takes all the fun out of it. The thrill of the chase or should I say the Easter Egg Hunt. Women approach dating differently more times than not. They are looking for a permanent partner. Often their biological clock is ticking. Men don't have this problem. They approach dating as fun and if the woman excites him, just gives glimpses of her eggs this offers him a challenge, he goes into full pursuit.

If you are truly looking for a life partner, it's best to scatter your eggs. You can't possibly know if this one man after a few dates even knows how to care for your eggs. He may leave them in the sun, he may drop them and break them. Then where are you left? Eggless because you gave them all to him.

Date others, have a life. Distribute your eggs around so that if one man drops the basket, all won't be lost. See which man handles your eggs the best. The man that works for your eggs will be the one to invest hope into. So many woman hang onto the men that disappear or put all of their eggs in the basket of the wrong man.