The Key to If He Likes You or Not

I have heard women fret about getting the attention of men.  I have had many even ask me how do I get his attention.  There really is no secret move we can make, or something profound we can say to achieve this. Many worry what if he doesn't like me.  Have you once considered flipping the tables.  Why not for a change wonder, hmmm, will I even like this guy?  I wonder if this guy has what it takes to get MY attention.

I know and you probably know the key to it all is self love.  You also probably want to cringe if one more person tells you this is the key.  I mean what is the formula to this self love?  Sure the gurus can tell you that is the key, but unless they tell you how to get this so called self love, it does you little good.  Finding self love is often a long journey.  To many it's elusive and seems out of their grasp.

So what is the answer?  You can start by faking it until you make it.  Some like this term, others don't.  I do like it and it has served me well.  For example, we have heard how powerful a smile is or how something as simple as using a person's first name has an impact.  We know this, but few practice it.  Look around you.  Next time you go to a convenience store or grocery store notice how many clerks are actually smiling.  Look at the people in line.  Chances are good they are frustrated more than smiling.  How many of these people read a nametag on the clerk and actually call them by it.  These two things alone can disarm a person.

So what if you just practiced these two little things.  Smile if you didn't feel like it at EVER BODY.  When talking with a person, say their name.  Both may not always seem natural.  Do it anyway and notice the person's response.  It will be positive more times than not.  This acts as reinforcement to you of the positive kind.  You get rewarded.  Do anything often enough and it becomes a habit.  Hence you faked it until you made it.

There are a lot of great books that have these dating rules in them.  That is the sole purpose of these books.  They give you a blue print to follow until you get there.  The reactions of men have been studied for you and they teach you certain behaviors that just naturally stimulate a man to want to get to know you better.  After you try the principles in these books and get positive results, it just reinforces it to you and you continue as it becomes second nature.  

A few of these books are below.   I call them Dating Bibles.

Why He Disappeared, Evan Marc Katz - 5 Stars
The Women Men Adore, Bob Grant -5 stars
Calling Men, Mimi Tanner - 5 stars



If you are wondering if a man likes you or not, think, do I like myself?  Why on earth would he not like me?   It's more likely I won't like him or rather I won't see him as someone I want to further invest into, not the other way around. 

Should I Call Him When He Gives Me His Number

Many say get with the times, it's 2011. What's the big deal? We are equals to men right? I disagree. I still am from the old school that if a man is truly interested, he will do the initiating, but let me explain my view further.

There are now tons and tons of pick up artist communities online for starters. This is one of the techniques they teach men to make us feel more comfortable. While the intention is good, do you really feel comfortable when you place that call? If you are like most of us you wonder does he really want me to call him? What if reach him at a bad time. What if he blows me off. That fear of rejection is in us all, no sense denying it. Wouldn't it feel better actually if he called you and then you knew he was interested.

When a man tells you to call him, often it's because he just isn't interested enough to put any effort into it but would welcome a distraction or a back burner girl. There are exceptions to this rule of course, but more times than not, it a man wants to get to know you, he will ask for your number and call you.

Of course then you have the guys who are lazy, insecure, or just plain wounded from the past. They forgot how to pursue a woman or just don't feel like putting in the effort. Some of these men haven't healed and really aren't in a proper place to be in a relationship or don't actually know what it is they want. Often the man that gives you his number and says call him is one of these men.

Remember as a teenager how it felt when the guy you liked called you? You would call your girlfriends and scream with delight, even jump up and down. We may not get so carried away, but we still feel this way inside when the man we like calls us. To call him would deny us this thrill. It also denies him the thrill of the chase and the opportunity to win your attention. By calling men first you are screwing with the male/female dynamics.

So what do you do when a man gives you his number and asks you to call? Here is one solution. If you are in person, use the trick many pick up artist use, get your number in his phone right there on the spot. Say, why thank you, why don't I call you now and you can save my number in your phone. Now you do just that with him standing right there. He saves your number. Smile at him sweetly and say, "Thank you, I just called you, now it's your turn".

When it comes to calling men, the rule is don't. In a new relationship, this rule stands. You can tell how into you a man actually is by his calling and texting habits. How you handle this part of the relationship or dating process greatly determines if he stays into you or not. Knowing when and how to call or text men can and will make or break you.

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Calling Men - It''s In Your Attitude Sistas!

You wonder how attitude plays into calling men or texting. It does a lot. I can't tell you how many times I have been asked the question "He hasn't called me in days, should I call him, maybe he thinks I am not interested". The answer is, no you should not call him. The truth here is a man who is into you will call you and he will text you on a regular basis. If he doesn't well here is where the attitude comes in.

Your attitude should be the "Next" attitude. If he isn't calling, keep your options open and go onto the next guy. You are way more valuable than this. You are the prize. If he can't manage a simple phone call, well down the road what is it going to be like? Once you adapt and believe this attitude, you won't really care so much if a man calls or not. You will never be sitting by the phone waiting or depending on it again. When it comes to calling men, remember sister, it's all about you. You shouldn't be calling men, they should be calling you period, end of discussion. A man that is into you will be calling and texting. If he is not consistent in his calling and texting, chances are good you are just an option. Don't call him. You are better than that. You aren't desperate.

Once you adapt the right attitude, men seem to know this. They sense it. It makes you more desirable when you aren't making him the center of your world. A funny thing starts to happen. Men start calling more. If a guy doesn't call you and you reach out to him you are doing the heavy lifting. You are telling him you are willing to invest more into him than he has to invest into you. If you are having to lead the relationship and initiate most of the calls and texts, well something is seriously wrong. Rarely will calling men get you anywhere.

There are many calling men rules, but if you have the right attitude, that's really all you will need. I am not waiting by the phone for any man attitude. I am not making any man a priority when he is only making me an option attitude. Whatever you do, don't start calling men or texting men first. It takes away the chase and you steal his fun. If he is not calling you, no excuses. Excuses are what we make when we want to think of a logical reason why he isn't calling. Trust me, there rarely is one. Get busy and forget about him.

If He gives You His Number and He Tells You to Call Him

Those two words, "call me", can screw with your head. If you like the guy, of course you want to believe this means he is interested in you and really wants you to call him. You may be thinking he wants you to call so he can make a date. Call me is what guys say often when ending a conversation. It's about the same as, talk to you later or see you around. It's usually said casually and you can bet if a guy says this, you don't have his interest sparked. So what do you do, should you call a guy if he asks?

When a guy says call me, usually it means he may find you attractive and if you call he may talk to you, but it's not something a guy says to a girl who he is very very interested in. If a guy is really interested, he won't ask you to call him, he will be calling you. The only exception to this is if you have been dating for a good while and he asks you to call him. If you have just met or started dating though, he is far from hooked on you yet.

A lot of women take this "call me" literally. They latch on and start calling the guy. This makes them the one doing the pursuing. It tells the guy that you are way more invested into him than he is in you. He sees a woman ready to put the girlfriend crown on and often this causes him to stop all contact and run for the hills.

When a guy says call me, what he usually wants from you is not much. He can live with or without your call. If you do call, you will be setting yourself up as a girl on the back burner. That's what guys do with the girls that do the calling for the most part. They don't see them as a challenge and no challenge means you won't be girlfriend material more than likely.

If a guy really wants to get to know you, he will be the one doing the calling, he won't be asking you to call him. When a guy tells you to call, the best thing you can do is don't. Let him wonder why you aren't so into him. This makes you more of a challenge and more attractive in his eyes. Less is more when it comes to calling men.

One Date and He Stopped Calling

So you went on a great date, had a blast, the connection was off the chain. When you parted he said he would call. It's been days and your phone isn't ringing. What is going on?

Why He Disappeared!

It doesn't really matter what's going on, that's what. I am very active on several women's dating forums and I am here to tell you that this happens all the time. It is very very common. Men poof and vanish more than you know. What matters here is you getting your mindset straight for this dating pool you have landed in.

View each date as just an opportunity to spend time with a new friend. Try not to project anything in the future and go in with no expectations. At the early stage you just don't know. He could be dating around. He could just not be into you. Your mentality should be this. If he is not investing any effort into you, don't waste your precious time investing in him. This includes trying to figure out why.

Why He Disappeared!

Circular dating really is the way to go in the beginning. You date different guys until you find one that checks all the boxes, meaning he is willing to invest and his actions, not just his words back this. He is calling regularly, making time, making plans in advance. A guy you don't have to wonder if he is going to call or not.

If the guy is not doing these things, your mindset should be simply one word. NEXT!

I can't stress enough the value of some of these relationship books. Knowledge is power. I would not have the success I have had with dating without this knowledge. I too have had my share of Houdini. More than I can count. Now it doesn't bother me. I don't have to accept men who are not willing to put forth and effort. Why He Disappeared!

Why You Should Not Call Men You Just Started Dating

You haven't even started or are in the first stages of dating. It would be so easy to call or text him, but be careful, this can send of some unattractive signals to the new potential man in your life.

For starters, if you call men, you send of the signal that you are very available. This is not really how you want a guy to see you. I hear so often, but what if he thinks I am not interested? If you want to show interest, do so when he calls you by being fun and flirty. You do not want to show more interest than he is showing. Not good.

Guys really will call you if they are interested. If your phone is not ringing or is not ringing consistently, say every few days, he is just not that interested. If you call men who are not calling you, you are investing more into it than they are. You become easy target to be a back burner girl or a back up girl.

How you handle the phone techniques in the beginning is crucial. Texting and phoning is a huge dating tool today. If you are the one doing the initiating when you call men, you are taking over his role as the hunter. While some men are flattered that a woman is chasing them, it rarely lasts because he is deprived of his natural born instinct to do the chasing and hunting. Let him lead. It's really best to not call the men until you are more into a stable relationship.

Texting should be handled the same way. Let him initiate, you just follow his lead and match his level of commitment. It gets difficult, we get impatient and want to speed things up and so we call men. Huge mistake. A man's time table and priorities are very different from a woman's. If you are the one that will call men, how do you ever know his true level of interest? You won't. Relax and be patient. It is such a good feeling to know the guy is into you without you having to prod.

Can I contact Him

Lets say you have had a few dates and he has been coming on strong. Typical right? Now all of a sudden, silence. What is going on? What would it hurt to pick up the phone and see where he is at or try to decipher his level of interest? A lot actually.

I see it all the time, the women start freaking out by a slackness in contact. The instinct is to make contact. In reality ask yourself why do you need to make this contact. Usually it is a need to control and validation. We want to be in control of the outcome of our dating lives, when in the real world we can't, so what's the point?

The rule here is if he wants to talk to you, he will. It's really that simple. He does not need reminding. He is not going to forget you. If he does, well he was not for you anyway. Let him take the lead. A man values that which he works hardest for.

Often they are testing us as well. They want to see how much we will work for them. It's what men do. They are used to the women doing all the work, it's been like this forever. Be the one who is different. This is the one that usually wins his attention and affection. He wakes up one day and that little pea brain thinks, oh I have not heard from her, she must not be that into me. This is a challenge, a man loves a challenge.

Take it a step further and don't be so available, don't always answer, wait a while and return his call. If he does not answer leave a sweet message and do not, I repeat do not text or call him again. You don't want to look desperate or insecure. Men love a confident self assured woman who is responsible for her own happiness.

Less is always more. If you find yourself asking, can I contact him, then take the high road, don't. He will probably call you if you follow this rule. It just might not be in your time frame. Remember, men don't have the same time frame as we do. Patience and strategy women. Think long term satisfaction, not instant gratification.

Women have come up with rules for contacting men for a reason. They work. If you follow the basic rules of calling and texting men, the attraction level between you and your potential mate can be heightened to great levels. Don't make the fatal mistakes that so many women make when calling and texting men.

Texting Guys

It seems that in today's technology we spend a lot of time texting, it is easy and if done correctly, can enhance the attraction of your guy.

When texting a guy there are a few guidelines to follow. You do not want to come across as needy or desperate. Below are some things to remember.

1. It is best not to text first, at least on a regular basis, this shows you are way more into him than he may be into you.

2. If he does text you first, don't reply immediately, he will be thinking, wow, she must be sitting there holding the phone just waiting for me, we don't wait for men, we are busy. Wait at least 10 minutes, minimum, create some anticipation from him.

3. If he does not text back don't send another one, you don't want to appear desperate

4. Nothing serious or questioning in a text. Always be light, fun and witty.

5. Do not send anything too sexual, he may be sharing with his buds and never send nude shots, you can bet his buds will see this. It can sit in his phone for eternity and no telling where that pic may end up.

6. Don't send mindless lame messages such as what are you doing? What's up? He will see that as an excuse you are using just to talk to him.

Texting guys can create some incredible attraction if you know how to do it correctly. You can have a guy dying with anticipation to see you. There is a right way and a wrong way.

Mike, the Master Dater wrote a great little inexpensive book on this. It explains how a guy sees your messages and the right and wrong ways to get his attention. This book is well worth the read. For more information click here.

Men and Text Messaging

Ok, so I work with hundreds of women and there is a huge complaint common for most of them. Why do guys insist on texting so much? Can't they pick up the phone? Some even ask you out via text. What is up with this.

The fact of the matter is it is easier for them, they get lazy. It takes that pressure of of them. Men deal with a lot more rejection than women do and this lessens the blow so to speak. If they call to ask you out, they have to be ready with an instant reply if you accept or decline. With a text, they can take a minute to think about it. Call it an easy way out, bless their hearts.

Another big reason is it shields them from the emotional drama that they assume we are going to dish out to them. When in a conversation via phone, it is easier for a woman to ask lots of questions. Questions they don't won't to hear such as, what did you do last night? Who were you with? When will I see you again? With a text message they can skip all this. Men really don't want emotional drama, they avoid it at all costs and now technology has assisted them with this plight.

So what can you do to get them to stop all the texting nonsense and occasionally pick up the phone. Direct is the best approach with perhaps a bit of humor added in. When I have been asked out via text, I reply, "dunno, why don't you call me and we will discuss it". Or suggest how much you love the sound of their voice. Talk to a man's ego and not his emotions and you can get about anything.

As far as women texting and calling men, well that is an entirely different subject.

Will He Call or Not?

We have all been through it, many times I suspect. You meet this great guy, hit it off, he gets your number and never calls. Perhaps he does call and then one day just stops. What is going on here? Why does this happen? We pick it apart as women and try to figure out what we did wrong, was it something we said? Maybe, maybe not, regardless you still wonder will he call.

Men can pick up on our attitude. They know the women who are desperate for a call. They want a challenge as well and if we are desperate for that call, they just know and we become less attractive. Here are 5 things that you may be doing that keep him from calling and make you appear less desirable.


You offer your phone number and ask him to call. Instant warning flag, he sees you as needy and will avoid you at all costs. Plus he did not have to work for you. Men value what they work hardest for.
You ask him, "when are you going to call?". He sees you sitting by the phone waiting. Very unattractive to a man.
You ask him "are you going to call?" Same scenario as above, he sees you waiting and available
You tell him something like "Guys always get my number but never call" . This is a big no no, he will be thinking, wow, no wonder they don't call her, she has is negative.
He does call but its been days and you ask him "Why didn't you call?". He know then and there that this is a woman who is going to try to change him and may be high maintenance. He assumes the rest of the relationship will be drama filled.

So how do you take all of this drama out of the calling game and stop waiting by the phone. Its all in your attitude and how you approach dating in general. Its about dating without the drama. Not having to worry about if he will or will not call. A man loves busy women who have active lives and are not obsessing over if he calls or not. When a woman behaves like her world goes on with or without his attention, he is drawn. He will call because he is intrigued. Its called dating without drama.

I have found myself single again and back on the market. I don't worry about if or when he will call and 9 times out of 10 they do call, and they call again, and I get that date. I have taken the drama out of my dating life and learned how to enjoy it. The results are worth it.

Tips on Texting and Calling Men

Ever wonder when and if you should call a man? You are dying to pick up the phone, but scared of what he will think. Have you ever made that call and then been greeted with the cold shoulder and wished you could take it back? It happens. Or maybe you have been dating a while and he usually texts you during the day but for some reason he just didn't on this day. Do you pick up the phone and start texting him? So what are the rules and what does work?

First thing to remember is if you are texting or calling men, you are giving them power over you. You want to be the one with the power. Now I know this is a hard concept to grasp, but if you are so readily available, you take the mystery out of it. You are predictable and he may be predicting that you are going to become an emotional needy girlfriend.

When you make that call or text first you are sending negative messages. What he is hearing is that you are needy, you are into him and he does not have to worry about you. You will be there when he is ready to talk to you. You want him to wonder if you really are all that into him. This will propel him to make contact, which is what you want. Honestly, when that phone does ring or you do get that text that he sent first, don't you feel like jumping for joy. It just does not feel as good if you had to do the initiating.

The way you reply to his text messages is very important. Be upbeat, funny and make him laugh. If there is and inside joke between the two of you, play on it. This will make him associate good warm feelings when he calls or texts and he will do it more often. If you are the one doing the chasing, he will likely lose interest.

The way we handle these calls and texts can make or break a relationship. Wouldn't it be great to know exactly what to do and say and when to do it? If it could improve your dating and relationships? Do you want to be the girl that makes him roll his eyes in agitation every time the phone rings? I am sure you answered that no. You can create tons of attraction and move a relationship forward just by knowing how to handle texting and calling. If you want to turn it around and be the girl that is getting the calls and text messages instead of giving them I suggest you visit this site to learn more. All you need to know about calling and texting men.

Thoughts about Calling Men

Ok, we are all guilty. He said he was going to call and a few days go by without a word and what do we do? We pick up the phone and call him first. Bad move. You just gave up your power. You just sent the wrong message. You just lost the controls.

I struggle often still in a stable relationship with this calling thing. Boyfriend works out of town and usually as a rule calls everynight (I do not always answer by the way). If it starts getting later than the normal time I start getting antsy. Now although this is crazy I still do it. I have learned that I have to find something to do. Take a bubble bath, call a girlfriend, something to keep me from going to that crazy place a womans mind can go. He will call. I do know that if I was the caller in this relationship, he would have been long gone a long time ago.

Think long term. What is the end result you want to get? If he answers and you call you may get instant gratification, but that is not going to do you much good if you are maybe wanting more. Be the girl he has to work for. When he does call, don't be so available. Always be the first to end the call. Leave him wanting more. If and when the calls start becoming consistent, it does not hurt every so often to be too busy to talk or have plans for the evening and be unavailable. If he is a mentally healthy man, he will work for you. If he does not, my motto is NEXT.