So you went on a great date, had a blast, the connection was off the chain. When you parted he said he would call. It's been days and your phone isn't ringing. What is going on?
Why He Disappeared!
It doesn't really matter what's going on, that's what. I am very active on several women's dating forums and I am here to tell you that this happens all the time. It is very very common. Men poof and vanish more than you know. What matters here is you getting your mindset straight for this dating pool you have landed in.
View each date as just an opportunity to spend time with a new friend. Try not to project anything in the future and go in with no expectations. At the early stage you just don't know. He could be dating around. He could just not be into you. Your mentality should be this. If he is not investing any effort into you, don't waste your precious time investing in him. This includes trying to figure out why.
Why He Disappeared!
Circular dating really is the way to go in the beginning. You date different guys until you find one that checks all the boxes, meaning he is willing to invest and his actions, not just his words back this. He is calling regularly, making time, making plans in advance. A guy you don't have to wonder if he is going to call or not.
If the guy is not doing these things, your mindset should be simply one word. NEXT!
I can't stress enough the value of some of these relationship books. Knowledge is power. I would not have the success I have had with dating without this knowledge. I too have had my share of Houdini. More than I can count. Now it doesn't bother me. I don't have to accept men who are not willing to put forth and effort. Why He Disappeared!
Showing posts with label calling guys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label calling guys. Show all posts
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Why You Should Not Call Men You Just Started Dating
You haven't even started or are in the first stages of dating. It would be so easy to call or text him, but be careful, this can send of some unattractive signals to the new potential man in your life.
For starters, if you call men, you send of the signal that you are very available. This is not really how you want a guy to see you. I hear so often, but what if he thinks I am not interested? If you want to show interest, do so when he calls you by being fun and flirty. You do not want to show more interest than he is showing. Not good.
Guys really will call you if they are interested. If your phone is not ringing or is not ringing consistently, say every few days, he is just not that interested. If you call men who are not calling you, you are investing more into it than they are. You become easy target to be a back burner girl or a back up girl.
How you handle the phone techniques in the beginning is crucial. Texting and phoning is a huge dating tool today. If you are the one doing the initiating when you call men, you are taking over his role as the hunter. While some men are flattered that a woman is chasing them, it rarely lasts because he is deprived of his natural born instinct to do the chasing and hunting. Let him lead. It's really best to not call the men until you are more into a stable relationship.
Texting should be handled the same way. Let him initiate, you just follow his lead and match his level of commitment. It gets difficult, we get impatient and want to speed things up and so we call men. Huge mistake. A man's time table and priorities are very different from a woman's. If you are the one that will call men, how do you ever know his true level of interest? You won't. Relax and be patient. It is such a good feeling to know the guy is into you without you having to prod.
For starters, if you call men, you send of the signal that you are very available. This is not really how you want a guy to see you. I hear so often, but what if he thinks I am not interested? If you want to show interest, do so when he calls you by being fun and flirty. You do not want to show more interest than he is showing. Not good.
Guys really will call you if they are interested. If your phone is not ringing or is not ringing consistently, say every few days, he is just not that interested. If you call men who are not calling you, you are investing more into it than they are. You become easy target to be a back burner girl or a back up girl.
How you handle the phone techniques in the beginning is crucial. Texting and phoning is a huge dating tool today. If you are the one doing the initiating when you call men, you are taking over his role as the hunter. While some men are flattered that a woman is chasing them, it rarely lasts because he is deprived of his natural born instinct to do the chasing and hunting. Let him lead. It's really best to not call the men until you are more into a stable relationship.
Texting should be handled the same way. Let him initiate, you just follow his lead and match his level of commitment. It gets difficult, we get impatient and want to speed things up and so we call men. Huge mistake. A man's time table and priorities are very different from a woman's. If you are the one that will call men, how do you ever know his true level of interest? You won't. Relax and be patient. It is such a good feeling to know the guy is into you without you having to prod.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Men and Text Messaging
Ok, so I work with hundreds of women and there is a huge complaint common for most of them. Why do guys insist on texting so much? Can't they pick up the phone? Some even ask you out via text. What is up with this.
The fact of the matter is it is easier for them, they get lazy. It takes that pressure of of them. Men deal with a lot more rejection than women do and this lessens the blow so to speak. If they call to ask you out, they have to be ready with an instant reply if you accept or decline. With a text, they can take a minute to think about it. Call it an easy way out, bless their hearts.
Another big reason is it shields them from the emotional drama that they assume we are going to dish out to them. When in a conversation via phone, it is easier for a woman to ask lots of questions. Questions they don't won't to hear such as, what did you do last night? Who were you with? When will I see you again? With a text message they can skip all this. Men really don't want emotional drama, they avoid it at all costs and now technology has assisted them with this plight.
So what can you do to get them to stop all the texting nonsense and occasionally pick up the phone. Direct is the best approach with perhaps a bit of humor added in. When I have been asked out via text, I reply, "dunno, why don't you call me and we will discuss it". Or suggest how much you love the sound of their voice. Talk to a man's ego and not his emotions and you can get about anything.
As far as women texting and calling men, well that is an entirely different subject.
The fact of the matter is it is easier for them, they get lazy. It takes that pressure of of them. Men deal with a lot more rejection than women do and this lessens the blow so to speak. If they call to ask you out, they have to be ready with an instant reply if you accept or decline. With a text, they can take a minute to think about it. Call it an easy way out, bless their hearts.
Another big reason is it shields them from the emotional drama that they assume we are going to dish out to them. When in a conversation via phone, it is easier for a woman to ask lots of questions. Questions they don't won't to hear such as, what did you do last night? Who were you with? When will I see you again? With a text message they can skip all this. Men really don't want emotional drama, they avoid it at all costs and now technology has assisted them with this plight.
So what can you do to get them to stop all the texting nonsense and occasionally pick up the phone. Direct is the best approach with perhaps a bit of humor added in. When I have been asked out via text, I reply, "dunno, why don't you call me and we will discuss it". Or suggest how much you love the sound of their voice. Talk to a man's ego and not his emotions and you can get about anything.
As far as women texting and calling men, well that is an entirely different subject.
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