What Does It Mean When He Needs Space

When you boyfriend says he wants space, it would be in your best interest to listen to him.  It means he is feeling crowded by you.  It means he wants time to do what he wants to do without guilt or worry.  It also usually means fear is about to set in.  Fear of losing his freedom.  Fear that you aren't the one for him.  Chances are really good that you did something to cause this fear to come up.

When he says he need space, more times than not the woman has become clingy.  She has started expecting things from him like that he check in.  Maybe she wants to know who he is with and what he is doing when he isn't with her.  This makes the man feel you are not independent of him and it makes him feel responsible for your happiness.  If he says he wants space, he may be craving the carefree days when he didn't have to worry so much about making you happy.

Many will say but he is my boyfriend and he is supposed to want to make me happy.  Yes this is true.  On the other hand, you are solely responsible for your own happiness.  Men love a happy woman.  If he feels he can't make you happy, he will leave, they always do.  More men leave relationships because they feel like it's too much like work when they have to answer for everything they do, or call in or be checked up on.  When relationships start feeling like punching a clock, the man gets scared and cries for his space.

Often women make the fatal mistake when their boyfriend wants his space of pushing him even further.  They start asking questions like, Why?  Am I not enough for you? How long?  Will you come back?  This is just smothering him even more and reinforcing why he needs space in the first place.

What it means in a nutshell when he needs space is that if you don't give it to him, a break up is inevitable.  It's going to happen in time.  Give him his space happily and guilt free and keep living your life in the meantime.  It's often difficult to trust that he will come back, but that is your only hope really.  If you have made the mistake of smothering him, this is the only way to correct it.  Don't wait until it's too late and he is too scared to give you a second chance.

What Is He Thinking?

.

How To Turn the Tables When He Says He Needs Space

If your guy just told you he needs his space, you very likely are confused, maybe even in a panic. Has he met someone else? Has he lost interest? Is he about to dump you?

Now any of these cases may be true. The more likely case though is he is feeling trapped, maybe smothered by you. Now you may think you aren't making him feel this way, but often times it's little things you do that makes him feel this.

Maybe you are asking questions, like where he is, when is he calling, who is he with, things like that. This sets that huge fear that all men have into action. The fear of losing their freedom. You can't force a man to give up his freedom, if he wants to sacrifice this, it has to be at his pace and his choice. Otherwise, he is going to pull away.

Men also start feeling trapped when you show insecurity. Maybe you whine a little because he spends Friday with the guys and not you. Maybe he is working too much or didn't call you and you mentioned this to him. He starts feeling he is the center of your world and responsible for your happiness. This will make a man run for his space of cave faster than a speeding bullet.

Now let's say you have done some of the above or for some reason you don't understand, he just wants his space. What you have to do is give it to him. Don't ask him questions like "How long?", "Why?", etc... Let him have it, lots of it, happily. Not so easy to do I know, but if you put up resistance, you are going to reinforce the reason he wants his space to start with.

If you follow behind a man who has told you he wants his space, you are in essence not trusting him. You aren't trusting his judgement, nor respecting his wishes. A man has to be trusted to feel safe. Safety is big and something a man has to feel with you to commit.

If a man asks for space, and you give it to him happily and drama free, it shows him you can keep your head together. It also is the opposite of what he expects. He has been through it before and I am sure the woman before you held on tightly, thus pushing him further away. The woman who lets him go, and continues on living her life and living it well, turns his head and turns the table.

This drama free woman earns his respect. He also may start to wonder if you are as into him as he thought, which sparks his imagination. His imagination is your best weapon. This recreates the challenge for him, which also acts to recreate the spark that may have fizzled out. If a man needs his space, surprise him, give it to him, lots of it.