This uncertainty is painful and frustrating. You may have a great date, the passion is out the roof, the connection feels so strong. Then poof, he vanishes for days or even weeks at a time, then comes back again. What on earth is he doing and why.
He could be keeping you on the back burner. He could be just freaking out because he doesn't want to get in a relationship or he thinks he doesn't want to. One of the main reasons why men blow hot and cold though is because we allow them to do so. We take him back as we are swooned by his words when he comes back from disappearing. A man instinctively knows this, so it tells him it's ok to blow hot and cold. If you tolerate it, he has no reason to change.
A man that blows hot and cold very well may be a man who will not be there for you when the chips are down. If he can't remain consistent during good, normal times, what will he be like if the going gets tough? Will he leave you to deal with issues alone only to resurface when things have straightened out?
If you find yourself asking or nagging him about this behavior you are wasting your breath. This doesn't work on the hot and cold man and actually can cause him to be more extreme with it. Men avoid emotions like the plague. If you ask him or keep bringing it up, he sees it as talking about feelings. Ask any man does he want to talk about his feelings. He is going to say NO, 9 times out of 10.
Trust me, he already knows he is not treating you right, he doesn't need you to remind him. That is playing more of a mother role to him and men don't fall in love with their mothers. The best way to deal with men that blow hot and cold is to step away, pull back when he goes cold. Don't let him back in so easy. This tells him you recognize his bad behavior without saying a word.
The worst thing about men that blow hot and cold is you never know where you stand. You struggle with feelings of insecurities between dates with him. You don't know if he loves you or not. When he is with you, you feel he loves you, when you aren't, you just aren't sure if he loves you not. You might as well play that game he loves me, he loves me not with a daisy.
Why He Disappeared!
Can a man that blows hot and cold love you? Can this emotionally guarded man fall in love?
Why He Disappeared!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Is He Going To Break Up With Me?
If your guy has started calling and texting less, reasons popping up as to why he can't see you, it probably has you really worried. Maybe he is short tempered to you or seems to not have as much patience as he did. You may not understand what is going on, but you know it's something. You live in fear and the thought, he is going to break up with me stays in your mind.
Usually when a man starts putting distance between you, something is going on. He could be in that freak out stage, he could be feeling smothered. One thing we know from experience though, a man often acts this way prior to a break up. When that distance enters the picture, we wait in fear for those words. "It's not you, it's me". This line is a sure sign he is about to break up with you, that's for sure, we have all heard it and live in fear of it.
One of the most common reasons why men disappear or break up with you is they suddenly realize the girl in their life is more serious than he is. She is acting like the girlfriend. Sure he gave her signs, spent time with her, told her sweet things. He seemed perfectly happy the way things were progressing. Guys though, live in the moment. When they realize the girl is seeing herself as his girlfriend and acting the part, they get scared. All of a sudden, they have to think about someone else. The responsibility can be over whelming.
At the time maybe he was. Men fear a loss of their freedom. If they now realize they may have to consider your feelings prior to doing things such as hanging out with their buddies, they start to freak. They think, uh oh, she is going to start to try to control my life, thus he losses his freedom. A man's freedom is important to him and if he feels that is threatened he may be on the verge of breaking up. It's one thing they miss the most if they are in a relationship.
One thing you don't want to do is hold onto him tighter or push him to talk about it. This just sets him back more. Men don't deal with emotions very well. If you get all emotional on him, it just validates the reason why he should break up with you in his mind. The best thing you can do when you are in fear and can't stop asking the question, "will he break up with me", is give him that space. There are a lot of dynamics going on in a man's mind at this point and your behavior can make or break this. It can determine whether he feels safe to continue with you, or if he decides to break up with you.
Don't be caught off guard and be left hurt and feeling helpless. If you guy is distant, have a plan before the break up begins.
Usually when a man starts putting distance between you, something is going on. He could be in that freak out stage, he could be feeling smothered. One thing we know from experience though, a man often acts this way prior to a break up. When that distance enters the picture, we wait in fear for those words. "It's not you, it's me". This line is a sure sign he is about to break up with you, that's for sure, we have all heard it and live in fear of it.
One of the most common reasons why men disappear or break up with you is they suddenly realize the girl in their life is more serious than he is. She is acting like the girlfriend. Sure he gave her signs, spent time with her, told her sweet things. He seemed perfectly happy the way things were progressing. Guys though, live in the moment. When they realize the girl is seeing herself as his girlfriend and acting the part, they get scared. All of a sudden, they have to think about someone else. The responsibility can be over whelming.
At the time maybe he was. Men fear a loss of their freedom. If they now realize they may have to consider your feelings prior to doing things such as hanging out with their buddies, they start to freak. They think, uh oh, she is going to start to try to control my life, thus he losses his freedom. A man's freedom is important to him and if he feels that is threatened he may be on the verge of breaking up. It's one thing they miss the most if they are in a relationship.
One thing you don't want to do is hold onto him tighter or push him to talk about it. This just sets him back more. Men don't deal with emotions very well. If you get all emotional on him, it just validates the reason why he should break up with you in his mind. The best thing you can do when you are in fear and can't stop asking the question, "will he break up with me", is give him that space. There are a lot of dynamics going on in a man's mind at this point and your behavior can make or break this. It can determine whether he feels safe to continue with you, or if he decides to break up with you.
Don't be caught off guard and be left hurt and feeling helpless. If you guy is distant, have a plan before the break up begins.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Will He Stand Beside You or Will He Disappear
It's easy to be a relationship when everything is new, it seems so perfect. You learn something new about him every day. You text flirty text messages, you think of him all the time. You leave your weekends open because you know or you hope you will be with him. It's so great in the beginning.
Why He Disappeared!
What happens though when some of the newness wears off? What happens if something happens in your life where you can't be that fun, carefree girl anymore? What if you get laid off or a family member gets sick? When the going gets tough, does he have what it takes to stand beside you or will he be one of those men that disappear?
During rough times you are stressed and can't really give him that fun loving girl. He has to be really invested in you to stick around. Does he really want to drive you to the hospital or help you move? If you are going through a rough time, you really do need a man who stands beside you, not one of those men who disappear.
Why He Disappeared!
When we are going through hard times, this is when we need our partner the most and this is when he often pulls away. Then not only are you going through emotions with your life stresses, now you are left trying to hold onto a man who you fear will disappear. Add one more worry to your list.
The sad thing is, if he is a man who disappears, this is how he acts when he's asked to be selfless. This is how he acts when he doesn't get his way. This is how he acts when the chips are down. So why would you want to commit to a man who doesn't have the decency to put your needs first when you need him the most? Because you love him? Because you have a great time together and the chemistry is out the roof?
Why He Disappeared!
You just got a glimpse of the rest of your life. A man who doesn't support you, a man who disappears when you're at your weakest is not a man to keep. How a man reacts in a crisis says a lot about how he will behave in the future. If your man is not supportive, consider it a bullet dodged. If you stay and try to salvage a relationship with him, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointments.
Why He Disappeared!
Why He Disappeared!
What happens though when some of the newness wears off? What happens if something happens in your life where you can't be that fun, carefree girl anymore? What if you get laid off or a family member gets sick? When the going gets tough, does he have what it takes to stand beside you or will he be one of those men that disappear?
During rough times you are stressed and can't really give him that fun loving girl. He has to be really invested in you to stick around. Does he really want to drive you to the hospital or help you move? If you are going through a rough time, you really do need a man who stands beside you, not one of those men who disappear.
Why He Disappeared!
When we are going through hard times, this is when we need our partner the most and this is when he often pulls away. Then not only are you going through emotions with your life stresses, now you are left trying to hold onto a man who you fear will disappear. Add one more worry to your list.
The sad thing is, if he is a man who disappears, this is how he acts when he's asked to be selfless. This is how he acts when he doesn't get his way. This is how he acts when the chips are down. So why would you want to commit to a man who doesn't have the decency to put your needs first when you need him the most? Because you love him? Because you have a great time together and the chemistry is out the roof?
Why He Disappeared!
You just got a glimpse of the rest of your life. A man who doesn't support you, a man who disappears when you're at your weakest is not a man to keep. How a man reacts in a crisis says a lot about how he will behave in the future. If your man is not supportive, consider it a bullet dodged. If you stay and try to salvage a relationship with him, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointments.
Why He Disappeared!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Dating Again - Be The Leading Lady
You know the movie "Holiday" with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslette? Well when Kate gets to LA and she meets Author, they go out for dinner and he ask hers why is she here all by herself, she explains to him and starts crying sharing the heartache she has endured. Well Author tells her that she needs to stop acting like the best friend and become the "Leading Lady" in her own life.
What does this mean and how does being a Leading Lady help in dating again? It's a lot to do with attitude and how you view yourself. You are the prize, you are the leading lady. If you see yourself this way, you won't have near the drama that dating again can bring.
If a leading lady does not know where she stands she rarely has to have the talk. When her needs aren't getting met, she gracefully exits the stage. She doesn't have to come out again in hopes of an encore. She is in control. If you are dating again, being in control is critical to protect yourself.
If she has a small part in his life, she gives him a small part in hers. Nothing more. She doesn't waste much time or put consideration into small time roles. She doesn't invest more into a man than he is investing in her.
A leading lady doesn't wait around hoping she will get the part, wondering if she will be picked. She knows her worth and if she isn't recognized for it, she moves onto another film. She knows her worth and if a man doesn't treat her accordingly, her thought is "Next".
A leading lady doesn't view the parts she doesn't get as failures. She sees them as practice, auditions. A way to perfect her game. She learns from this and moves on and doesn't waste time on the parts that just didn't fit her.
Dating again can be confusing and frustrating. Many times we just want to give up. Don't, just be your own leading lady and dating again turns into an adventure.
What does this mean and how does being a Leading Lady help in dating again? It's a lot to do with attitude and how you view yourself. You are the prize, you are the leading lady. If you see yourself this way, you won't have near the drama that dating again can bring.
If a leading lady does not know where she stands she rarely has to have the talk. When her needs aren't getting met, she gracefully exits the stage. She doesn't have to come out again in hopes of an encore. She is in control. If you are dating again, being in control is critical to protect yourself.
If she has a small part in his life, she gives him a small part in hers. Nothing more. She doesn't waste much time or put consideration into small time roles. She doesn't invest more into a man than he is investing in her.
A leading lady doesn't wait around hoping she will get the part, wondering if she will be picked. She knows her worth and if she isn't recognized for it, she moves onto another film. She knows her worth and if a man doesn't treat her accordingly, her thought is "Next".
A leading lady doesn't view the parts she doesn't get as failures. She sees them as practice, auditions. A way to perfect her game. She learns from this and moves on and doesn't waste time on the parts that just didn't fit her.
Dating again can be confusing and frustrating. Many times we just want to give up. Don't, just be your own leading lady and dating again turns into an adventure.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
How Evan Marc Katz Changed My Life
Evan Marc Katz is a relationship/dating coach and author of an inspiring book called "Why He Disappeared". His no nonsense approach cuts right to the bone and takes all the guess work out of dating and relationships. He is a man that communicates to women in a frank, matter of fact way exactly how men think and process a relationship.
I went through countless relationships in my past guessing where I stood with men. I would be dating a guy and suddenly he or I stopped feeling the attraction. I wondered often why men disappear. Katz explains this with crystal clarity in his book.
Why He Disappeared!
It's not always that we attract the wrong men into our lives, it's more about we accept the wrong men in our lives. We fall in love with their potential more than who they really are. They start out dating putting their best foot forward, a few months go by and they start getting distant. We stay hoping to get the man back to where he was in the beginning. Katz explains why this happens and what you can do about it.
I no longer struggle with my dating or relationships. I know what to look for and I understand a lot more how men really think. I have no doubts I will not find myself stuck and unhappy in dead end relationships anymore.
Because of Katz, I was able to let go of a man who although great it would seem, really wasn't making me happy. I held onto him for all the wrong reasons which is where this book, Why men disappear helped me.
Why He Disappeared!
I left the relationship confident and without regrets. Pain was minimum. I am not dating again and have several good candidates in the line up. I am not stressed wondering if he is going to call, will I see him, will he disappear or any discomfort.
I recommend this book, it's like the bible of relationships. If you read no other book on relationships, this should be the one. Why He Disappeared!
For more information on Evan Marc katz and his credentials View Evan Marc Katz Credibility
I went through countless relationships in my past guessing where I stood with men. I would be dating a guy and suddenly he or I stopped feeling the attraction. I wondered often why men disappear. Katz explains this with crystal clarity in his book.
Why He Disappeared!
It's not always that we attract the wrong men into our lives, it's more about we accept the wrong men in our lives. We fall in love with their potential more than who they really are. They start out dating putting their best foot forward, a few months go by and they start getting distant. We stay hoping to get the man back to where he was in the beginning. Katz explains why this happens and what you can do about it.
I no longer struggle with my dating or relationships. I know what to look for and I understand a lot more how men really think. I have no doubts I will not find myself stuck and unhappy in dead end relationships anymore.
Because of Katz, I was able to let go of a man who although great it would seem, really wasn't making me happy. I held onto him for all the wrong reasons which is where this book, Why men disappear helped me.
Why He Disappeared!
I left the relationship confident and without regrets. Pain was minimum. I am not dating again and have several good candidates in the line up. I am not stressed wondering if he is going to call, will I see him, will he disappear or any discomfort.
I recommend this book, it's like the bible of relationships. If you read no other book on relationships, this should be the one. Why He Disappeared!
For more information on Evan Marc katz and his credentials View Evan Marc Katz Credibility
Friday, November 5, 2010
Finding The One Online
Online dating has been stigmatized. Many view it as unsafe and something desperate women do. This is really a shame because there are a lot of great guys out there looking for love online. Just like in real life, there will be jerks, emotional retards, commitment phobics, and guys wanting an instant relationship who are clingy and needy.
The guys online are just like the ones in real life except there are more of them to choose from. It's like shopping. Shopping is fun. It can be frustrating because so often it just doesn't fit. It's a numbers game though. The more you date, the better your chances are for finding the one online.
There is skill involved in online dating. There are things you can do to increase your chances of finding the one online. Some very simple. A few changes to your pics, profile or something as simple as the subject line in your emails can make all the difference in the world. There are ways to weed out the duds as well.
If you are frustrated and not having much luck and feel like giving up, sometimes a few changes will make all the difference in finding the one online. Rebranding yourself online is what I call it.
Find The One Online
Once you rebrand yourself online, start flirting effectively with men, and going out on pre-screened, high-quality dates each week, it’s only a matter of time before you meet your future husband.
The husband who will love you in spite of your flaws.
The husband who will listen to you after a bad day.
The husband who will take care of you, emotionally, financially, and sexually.
Without meeting men consistently, this scenario is unlikely to happen. But when you master online dating, love becomes inevitable.
Find The One Online
Okay, maybe not inevitable! But I think we can agree that one date a week will likely produce a relationship a lot faster than if you go on one ‘real life’ date every three months.
The following things would be beneficial to learn if you are going to have success in finding the one online.
* Which dating site works best for your individual needs
* The "headline/username" secret that makes your profile irresistible to members of the opposite sex!
* 5 profile strategies you can use RIGHT NOW to immediately boost the appeal of your profile.
* 2 surefire techniques to write an amazing first email that gets an eager response...
* The REAL reason why people disappear in the middle of emailing you. It's not what you think, but it'll save you hours of agonizing why your "perfect" match suddenly stopped communicating.
The absolute best online dating guide was created by Evan Mark Katz. Hundreds of women have found the one oneline by following his guidelines.
Find The One Online
The guys online are just like the ones in real life except there are more of them to choose from. It's like shopping. Shopping is fun. It can be frustrating because so often it just doesn't fit. It's a numbers game though. The more you date, the better your chances are for finding the one online.
There is skill involved in online dating. There are things you can do to increase your chances of finding the one online. Some very simple. A few changes to your pics, profile or something as simple as the subject line in your emails can make all the difference in the world. There are ways to weed out the duds as well.
If you are frustrated and not having much luck and feel like giving up, sometimes a few changes will make all the difference in finding the one online. Rebranding yourself online is what I call it.
Find The One Online
Once you rebrand yourself online, start flirting effectively with men, and going out on pre-screened, high-quality dates each week, it’s only a matter of time before you meet your future husband.
The husband who will love you in spite of your flaws.
The husband who will listen to you after a bad day.
The husband who will take care of you, emotionally, financially, and sexually.
Without meeting men consistently, this scenario is unlikely to happen. But when you master online dating, love becomes inevitable.
Find The One Online
Okay, maybe not inevitable! But I think we can agree that one date a week will likely produce a relationship a lot faster than if you go on one ‘real life’ date every three months.
The following things would be beneficial to learn if you are going to have success in finding the one online.
* Which dating site works best for your individual needs
* The "headline/username" secret that makes your profile irresistible to members of the opposite sex!
* 5 profile strategies you can use RIGHT NOW to immediately boost the appeal of your profile.
* 2 surefire techniques to write an amazing first email that gets an eager response...
* The REAL reason why people disappear in the middle of emailing you. It's not what you think, but it'll save you hours of agonizing why your "perfect" match suddenly stopped communicating.
The absolute best online dating guide was created by Evan Mark Katz. Hundreds of women have found the one oneline by following his guidelines.
Find The One Online
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Making a Man Fall In Love - The Key Ingredient
There are many things that come into play when a man is falling in love but one of the main ones is this. He has to think about you. It sounds really simple doesn't it? You may be thinking of course he is thinking about me, he is spending a lot of time with me, he must be thinking of me right? Wrong. For a man to really think about you he has to miss you. He can't miss you when you are always around.
So often men start out full speed ahead, then out of the blue he starts pulling away. Why does this happen? The main reason this happens is you did not slow him down. You jumped right on in, seeing him every chance you could hoping he would grow fonder of you. Seems logical right? Wrong again.
When you give a man too much too fast even if he does seem to be all into you, it does eventually kill attraction. For attraction to grow into love a man must feel your absence. Men aren't even aware that they need this to fall in love. If you ask him why he fell in love he is not going to say because she wasn't always around.
It also goes back to the challenge. Men love a challenge. If you are always around, seeing him everyday, the challenge is gone, he eventually gets bored. Give him some space even if he doesn't ask for it or think he needs it. When you aren't around is when he misses you and thinks of you more and more. This is the key ingredient for making a man fall in love, or should I say allowing a man to fall in love.
So next time he wants to see you several day/nights in a row, have something else to do. Wash your hair, go to a movie with a friend, take your cat to the vet, whatever. Give him that time to think about you. It's the beginning of falling in love. It's long term satisfaction you want, not instant gratification.
It's frustrating to not be sure of his depth of love for you. There are ways to naturally stir a man's heart and have him fall in love.
So often men start out full speed ahead, then out of the blue he starts pulling away. Why does this happen? The main reason this happens is you did not slow him down. You jumped right on in, seeing him every chance you could hoping he would grow fonder of you. Seems logical right? Wrong again.
When you give a man too much too fast even if he does seem to be all into you, it does eventually kill attraction. For attraction to grow into love a man must feel your absence. Men aren't even aware that they need this to fall in love. If you ask him why he fell in love he is not going to say because she wasn't always around.
It also goes back to the challenge. Men love a challenge. If you are always around, seeing him everyday, the challenge is gone, he eventually gets bored. Give him some space even if he doesn't ask for it or think he needs it. When you aren't around is when he misses you and thinks of you more and more. This is the key ingredient for making a man fall in love, or should I say allowing a man to fall in love.
So next time he wants to see you several day/nights in a row, have something else to do. Wash your hair, go to a movie with a friend, take your cat to the vet, whatever. Give him that time to think about you. It's the beginning of falling in love. It's long term satisfaction you want, not instant gratification.
It's frustrating to not be sure of his depth of love for you. There are ways to naturally stir a man's heart and have him fall in love.
Friday, October 29, 2010
What Does A Man In Love Act Like - Signs He Is In Love
It's pretty simple really to tell a man is in love. He just treats you a certain way that you know you are a priority in his life. A man in love, when it comes to you he acts a certain way or does certain things he might not ordinarily do.
Its a sign a man is in love when he steps outside of his routine to accommodate you. Maybe he stays up later than normal to talk to you. He may be a night owl, but all of a sudden he goes to bed early like you do. Maybe he hates sappy movies but watches them anyway because you want to. In other words a man in love will be uncomfortable so that you will be comfortable.
If a man wants to see you regardless. Regardless if you have hovered over the toilet all night sick as a dog. He wants to see you regardless if you just crawled out of bed with no make up, in a tee shirt that has food stains all down the front. If your man wants to see you even at your worst, it's a good sign he is in love.
Has your man surprised you lately? Has he brought you a little gift, even if it's something silly like your favorite soda from the corner pantry. Has he brought you flowers or a flower? Maybe he surprised you with a candy bar, taking you to lunch when he usually works clear across town. A sign a man is in love gives to you in little ways.
A man in love talks openly in terms of "we" and does so in front of others. If he is saying we to you that is one thing, but when he does it in front of his friends and coworkers it's a sign he is in love. It's like it is perfectly natural for him when the word "we" escapes his lips.
Another sign a man is in love is he projects into the future. He talks about the things you will be doing together. Perhaps he mentions his vacation and how this year you will be included. Maybe he just mentions a concert a month or so down the road. You can bet if a man if talking about you and him in the future, he is considering you long term.
It's simple really, a man in love acts like he adores you. You can be the woman men adore and inspire him to fall in love with your feminine grace.
Its a sign a man is in love when he steps outside of his routine to accommodate you. Maybe he stays up later than normal to talk to you. He may be a night owl, but all of a sudden he goes to bed early like you do. Maybe he hates sappy movies but watches them anyway because you want to. In other words a man in love will be uncomfortable so that you will be comfortable.
If a man wants to see you regardless. Regardless if you have hovered over the toilet all night sick as a dog. He wants to see you regardless if you just crawled out of bed with no make up, in a tee shirt that has food stains all down the front. If your man wants to see you even at your worst, it's a good sign he is in love.
Has your man surprised you lately? Has he brought you a little gift, even if it's something silly like your favorite soda from the corner pantry. Has he brought you flowers or a flower? Maybe he surprised you with a candy bar, taking you to lunch when he usually works clear across town. A sign a man is in love gives to you in little ways.
A man in love talks openly in terms of "we" and does so in front of others. If he is saying we to you that is one thing, but when he does it in front of his friends and coworkers it's a sign he is in love. It's like it is perfectly natural for him when the word "we" escapes his lips.
Another sign a man is in love is he projects into the future. He talks about the things you will be doing together. Perhaps he mentions his vacation and how this year you will be included. Maybe he just mentions a concert a month or so down the road. You can bet if a man if talking about you and him in the future, he is considering you long term.
It's simple really, a man in love acts like he adores you. You can be the woman men adore and inspire him to fall in love with your feminine grace.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Will He Ever Marry Me
I was talking with a smart young woman the other day who had this problem. She had been with the same guy in an exclusive relationship for almost 3 years and he never mentioned marriage. They seemed to have a great relationship. He had keys to her house, she had keys to his. She did things for him like cook him dinner, help him clean his apartment among a lot of other things. She described herself as nice, helpful and loving. She is a great girlfriend but she still asks the question, "Will he ever marry me?".
She is wanting more and he is thinking, well it's not broken, why fix it. The thing is, she is already giving him everything he would get if they were married. He has full access to her house, her life, everything. So often we give so much so soon and then there is nothing left for them to work for. We jump in so fast and next thing you know you are in a rut and he is not moving forward. You are left wondering, will he ever marry me.
Bottom line, men value what they work hardest for. Think of a car. If he has an old car that he got for a few hundred bucks, well anyone can drive it, he probably doesn't think much about it. Let's say though he worked hard, saved his money and bought this shiny new sports car. Do you think anyone else is going to drive it? No way. He will park it at the end of the parking lot and walk so no one parks next to him and dents it. He washes it every weekend and sometimes just stands back to admire it. Why? He values it, he had to work for it.
It's the same way with relationships really. A man has to see your value and if its just handed to him, he will take it for granted. It it took some work, he is going to want to make that woman his. When a man values his woman, he will want to make her happy, she will not be asking forever, will he ever marry me.
If you are frustrated and have already given away the farm and don't know quite how to take it back, you need a plan. All is not lost, you can go from girlfriend to wife.
She is wanting more and he is thinking, well it's not broken, why fix it. The thing is, she is already giving him everything he would get if they were married. He has full access to her house, her life, everything. So often we give so much so soon and then there is nothing left for them to work for. We jump in so fast and next thing you know you are in a rut and he is not moving forward. You are left wondering, will he ever marry me.
Bottom line, men value what they work hardest for. Think of a car. If he has an old car that he got for a few hundred bucks, well anyone can drive it, he probably doesn't think much about it. Let's say though he worked hard, saved his money and bought this shiny new sports car. Do you think anyone else is going to drive it? No way. He will park it at the end of the parking lot and walk so no one parks next to him and dents it. He washes it every weekend and sometimes just stands back to admire it. Why? He values it, he had to work for it.
It's the same way with relationships really. A man has to see your value and if its just handed to him, he will take it for granted. It it took some work, he is going to want to make that woman his. When a man values his woman, he will want to make her happy, she will not be asking forever, will he ever marry me.
If you are frustrated and have already given away the farm and don't know quite how to take it back, you need a plan. All is not lost, you can go from girlfriend to wife.
Monday, October 25, 2010
What To Do If You Slept With Him Too Soon
One thing you can't do is back track. You can't now expect him to accept that you aren't going to sleep with him anymore. You can't tell him it was an accident and you slipped and fell on his penis. You did if, now the first thing you have to do is own it. The way you handle yourself from here forward is critical. You act as if it's no big deal, after all, you are a grown woman. So what if you slept with him too soon. It's no big deal. Many long term relationships develop in spite of this. Sex on the first date or first few dates is more common than you can imagine.
Whatever you do, don't apologize for having slept with him too soon. This shows weakness and insecurity on your part. Men actually have a name for this. It's called Anti-Slut-Defense, also known as ASD. You don't want him to think you have no control over yourself and you don't want him to know he affects you so much. It was probably pleasurable for both parties, so no need to apologize. A guy wants to be stroked after sex, not shot down with your crying and emotions.
You don't want to call attention to the fact that you slept with him too soon. You don't want to have a discussion with him about it. Chances are if you give him the song and dance about how you just didn't mean to have sex with him on the first date or so he won't believe it anyway, so skip it. If you try to talk about it, you give him the impression that you are over thinking and he will see it as you already wanting to be his girlfriend. What ever you do, don't start acting like his girl friend now. Most all girls do this and there is a good possibility he is expecting this from you. Just because you had sex with him does not make you his girlfriend.
Now there is a chance you can become just a booty call to him if you aren't careful. There are ways to avoid this though. I call it tap dancing around. If he starts calling late at night, don't answer the phone. If he only suggest hook ups, don't go. If he wants to just hang out at his place or yours, avoid it. In other words, if he isn't willing to go out and do things that don't involve sex, just don't go. This tells him with your actions and words won't be needed. Actions are way more effective on guys than words, trust me on this.
Next date, have your escape route planned for the end of the date. A reason you have to get up early etc... Give him a passionate kiss at the end and tell him you hate it, but you gotta go. Leave him guessing and wanting more. If you had sex on the first date or too soon, don't fret, you can still get the guy.
Whatever you do, don't apologize for having slept with him too soon. This shows weakness and insecurity on your part. Men actually have a name for this. It's called Anti-Slut-Defense, also known as ASD. You don't want him to think you have no control over yourself and you don't want him to know he affects you so much. It was probably pleasurable for both parties, so no need to apologize. A guy wants to be stroked after sex, not shot down with your crying and emotions.
You don't want to call attention to the fact that you slept with him too soon. You don't want to have a discussion with him about it. Chances are if you give him the song and dance about how you just didn't mean to have sex with him on the first date or so he won't believe it anyway, so skip it. If you try to talk about it, you give him the impression that you are over thinking and he will see it as you already wanting to be his girlfriend. What ever you do, don't start acting like his girl friend now. Most all girls do this and there is a good possibility he is expecting this from you. Just because you had sex with him does not make you his girlfriend.
Now there is a chance you can become just a booty call to him if you aren't careful. There are ways to avoid this though. I call it tap dancing around. If he starts calling late at night, don't answer the phone. If he only suggest hook ups, don't go. If he wants to just hang out at his place or yours, avoid it. In other words, if he isn't willing to go out and do things that don't involve sex, just don't go. This tells him with your actions and words won't be needed. Actions are way more effective on guys than words, trust me on this.
Next date, have your escape route planned for the end of the date. A reason you have to get up early etc... Give him a passionate kiss at the end and tell him you hate it, but you gotta go. Leave him guessing and wanting more. If you had sex on the first date or too soon, don't fret, you can still get the guy.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
He Texts All TheTime but Doesn't Ask Me Out
You may wonder what texting techniques have to do with this. A lot actually once you understand what builds attraction in a guy. If your guy is texting everyday but not asking you out, chances are his attraction level is not high enough. He sees you maybe as an option or someone to keep on the back burner.
Guys like a challenge, this is a fact. It's also human nature to want what we can't have. This does play into the texting. If he is texting and not making an effort to spend time with you, he very well may not see you as a challenge. If you are responding promptly to his texts, engaging in conversations every time he initiates a text or worse you initiate first, you are pretty much letting him know he already has you. No work there.
If your guy is texting and not calling or wanting to see you, it's time to turn this around. Stop answering right away. I am not saying be rude and ignore him, just wait a few hours before you reply. If he texts you something that really doesn't warrant a reply, then don't reply. You are a busy girl with a busy life and you really don't have time to chat with someone who can't seem to make you a priority.
Guys actually see a girl who is readily available as a girl acting like a girlfriend. When you start acting like a girlfriend to fast, they put the breaks on. Texting keeps you there for when they want you, but also keeps you at arm's length and keeps him safely out of a relationship. This is a huge reason why guys keep in contact texting and don't step up to see you.
If you aren't so available, it you aren't so eager to engage in his texting game, he will see you as more valuable. This is what builds attraction in a guy. Mystery is hard for a guy to resist. Your texting techniques can actually convey mystery and build attraction to higher level causing him to want to see you.
To learn how to ignite his interest and attraction via text messaging, click here..
Guys like a challenge, this is a fact. It's also human nature to want what we can't have. This does play into the texting. If he is texting and not making an effort to spend time with you, he very well may not see you as a challenge. If you are responding promptly to his texts, engaging in conversations every time he initiates a text or worse you initiate first, you are pretty much letting him know he already has you. No work there.
If your guy is texting and not calling or wanting to see you, it's time to turn this around. Stop answering right away. I am not saying be rude and ignore him, just wait a few hours before you reply. If he texts you something that really doesn't warrant a reply, then don't reply. You are a busy girl with a busy life and you really don't have time to chat with someone who can't seem to make you a priority.
Guys actually see a girl who is readily available as a girl acting like a girlfriend. When you start acting like a girlfriend to fast, they put the breaks on. Texting keeps you there for when they want you, but also keeps you at arm's length and keeps him safely out of a relationship. This is a huge reason why guys keep in contact texting and don't step up to see you.
If you aren't so available, it you aren't so eager to engage in his texting game, he will see you as more valuable. This is what builds attraction in a guy. Mystery is hard for a guy to resist. Your texting techniques can actually convey mystery and build attraction to higher level causing him to want to see you.
To learn how to ignite his interest and attraction via text messaging, click here..
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Why Won't He Call Me?
You met a guy, maybe even spent time with him, yet he just won't call. Why do guys get your number if they aren't going to use it? There could be many reasons.
He really could be busy. Guys don't have the same time clock we do. Days to them seem like weeks to us. He may have every intention of calling but next thing you know weeks have went by. He then thinks too much time has passed and he would feel stupid to call you now so he moves on. This is one of the main reasons why he won't call. Laziness.
He could also just be a player. Getting a phone number or a date could just be a way to stroke his ego. There are guys out there like this. If he won't call you, chances are with this guy getting the number was part of the game. He just wanted to see if he could. He likes knowing there is a woman out there waiting for his call. It is an ego boost.
Some guys are looking for a fling or just sex. If he finds out you are not that kind of girl, this could be one reason he doesn't call. This guy has countless numbers in his phone. You are better off if he doesn't call.
We so often wonder why won't he call me. It's really nothing in particular that you did or didn't do. I do believe however, that if a guy wants to get to know you and is truly interested, he will call. Guys like a challenge that is for sure. If you have been calling him instead of him calling you, this is a huge reason he's not calling you. He doesn't have too. You are doing his work for him.
A guy who is attracted to you will make time in his busy life, will overcome his game playing ways or rise above his immaturity and pick up that phone. He won't not call. The trick though is you have to become that "girl" that he can't resist.
He really could be busy. Guys don't have the same time clock we do. Days to them seem like weeks to us. He may have every intention of calling but next thing you know weeks have went by. He then thinks too much time has passed and he would feel stupid to call you now so he moves on. This is one of the main reasons why he won't call. Laziness.
He could also just be a player. Getting a phone number or a date could just be a way to stroke his ego. There are guys out there like this. If he won't call you, chances are with this guy getting the number was part of the game. He just wanted to see if he could. He likes knowing there is a woman out there waiting for his call. It is an ego boost.
Some guys are looking for a fling or just sex. If he finds out you are not that kind of girl, this could be one reason he doesn't call. This guy has countless numbers in his phone. You are better off if he doesn't call.
We so often wonder why won't he call me. It's really nothing in particular that you did or didn't do. I do believe however, that if a guy wants to get to know you and is truly interested, he will call. Guys like a challenge that is for sure. If you have been calling him instead of him calling you, this is a huge reason he's not calling you. He doesn't have too. You are doing his work for him.
A guy who is attracted to you will make time in his busy life, will overcome his game playing ways or rise above his immaturity and pick up that phone. He won't not call. The trick though is you have to become that "girl" that he can't resist.
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