Feminine grace and elegance is a very desirable quality in a woman, the main quality to be his dream girl. It inspires men to leave fears behind and commit to a woman. A woman with feminine grace and elegance is beautiful in every aspect of her life. The way she walks, talks, or even brushes her hair. She has little trouble attracting men towards her. It is not in the way she dresses, or even how pretty she is.
When men talk about this woman, the women men adore, they usually say "there is just something about her". She radiates warmth like a campfire, and she is peaceful. She give off the vibe that she truly likes and values men. This woman usually has an unshakeable confidence level and can disarm a man without really trying. This woman will be his dream girl.
The woman that men adore is not scared of rocking the boat. She is true to herself and has the ability to be vulnerable yet strong. She will not stay in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. When she chooses to stay, her man knows he is special. Men love to feel special.
Men really do want a woman to spend forever with. The dream girls and women men adore are far and few between. Just ask one, he will tell you. Dream girls are rare. They are more used to the nagging women who want to talk everything out. When a man meets this dream girl, he does not want to let her go.
Learning to be a dream girl or the woman men adore takes skills and practice. It takes confidence and the willingness to take a chance and do something different. If what you are currently doing in your relationship is not working why not take that risk and make some positive changes.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Rules for Texting Guys
The rules for texting guys and calling guys are the same. Less is more for the most part. It is really the guys role to do the initiating, and if you are texting him more than he is texting you, you have broken a huge rule. Men really do like a bit of a challenge and if you are Miss Texting Queen, you are not offering up much of a challenge. You are depriving him of his role and it causes an imbalance in the relationship.
If you text a guy and he does not respond, don't text him again. It sends of signals of desperation and you are making him a priority while he is only making you an option. We often think, oh maybe he did not get our message, well don't kid yourself, he probably did. He could be busy, timing could be wrong or he could just not be into you. If you will sit on your fingers for a few days, it usually pays off. Then the guy wonders, hmmm, where is she, I have not heard from her. This usually causes him to reach out to you.
When he does text you, one of the rules for texting guys is not to respond immediately. Wait a couple hours. Don't be so anxious. Easier said than done. It is the mysterious girl that gets the guys attention and by not jumping through hoops when he texts, you create this mystery.
Until you are in an established relationship, it is best to let him do the initiating. Even then, less is always more. If I were to sum up the rules for texting guys, it would be this, when texting guys, less is always more.
Text messaging is a huge tool that can be used to build attraction and get and keep a guys interest. It pays to learn to use this media to your advantage. Turn up the heat, light that spark.
If you text a guy and he does not respond, don't text him again. It sends of signals of desperation and you are making him a priority while he is only making you an option. We often think, oh maybe he did not get our message, well don't kid yourself, he probably did. He could be busy, timing could be wrong or he could just not be into you. If you will sit on your fingers for a few days, it usually pays off. Then the guy wonders, hmmm, where is she, I have not heard from her. This usually causes him to reach out to you.
When he does text you, one of the rules for texting guys is not to respond immediately. Wait a couple hours. Don't be so anxious. Easier said than done. It is the mysterious girl that gets the guys attention and by not jumping through hoops when he texts, you create this mystery.
Until you are in an established relationship, it is best to let him do the initiating. Even then, less is always more. If I were to sum up the rules for texting guys, it would be this, when texting guys, less is always more.
Text messaging is a huge tool that can be used to build attraction and get and keep a guys interest. It pays to learn to use this media to your advantage. Turn up the heat, light that spark.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Not All Men Are Jerks
Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.
Do we often have unrealistic expectations of men and how a relationship is supposed to be? I think we often do. Learning to accept others as they are can be the key to happiness. Do you toss your best friend aside even though she does some things that irritate you? I doubt it. We accept the flaws of others, we all have them, so are men excluded in this concept? Are they not human too?
Men are different, that is a reality, they are raised to hold things in, not show emotions, deal with problems on their own. Their communication techniques, levels of intimacy, need for space, etc..., are not the same as ours, never has been, never will be. They have a right to these differences whether they suit our needs or not.
How many times have you stewed in your life time because a man did not behave the way you thought he was supposed to. Maybe he forgot to call, maybe he did not take out the trash, whatever. One of our biggest frustrations with men is our inability to get them to do what we think they are supposed to do. We use "shoulds" and "supposed to's" as if we were the supreme beings in a relationship. The key to getting along with men well in general is to accept the answer to the question I asked myself. "Who the hell gave women the right to set the rules, to make their needs more important, and to decide how men should or are supposed to act or respond in a relationship?" Is that really fair? No.
Men have a right to be themselves. They have needs too! I think we as women sometimes get so caught up in what we deserve, what we feel entitled to that we miss the big picture. They are an equal part of the relationship. Men consistently say the one reason they hesitate to get into relationships is because they do not feel they can live up to our rules and expectations. Have we become like that? Have we lost sight of the ability to see men as who they really are, because they may not meet all of our expectations?
We have seen that trying to change men often means losing them. It's more effective to find ways to respond to his differences that we can feel more comfortable with. By lessening his importance, his differences can seem less irritating. After all, our happiness shouldn't be too dependent on what we get from him. That doesn't mean we should sell ourselves short, but is it time for us to accept that men don't have to change because we have a specific image of what we want. Men don't deserve to be labeled as jerks because they don't do things the way we want them to.
Do we often have unrealistic expectations of men and how a relationship is supposed to be? I think we often do. Learning to accept others as they are can be the key to happiness. Do you toss your best friend aside even though she does some things that irritate you? I doubt it. We accept the flaws of others, we all have them, so are men excluded in this concept? Are they not human too?
Men are different, that is a reality, they are raised to hold things in, not show emotions, deal with problems on their own. Their communication techniques, levels of intimacy, need for space, etc..., are not the same as ours, never has been, never will be. They have a right to these differences whether they suit our needs or not.
How many times have you stewed in your life time because a man did not behave the way you thought he was supposed to. Maybe he forgot to call, maybe he did not take out the trash, whatever. One of our biggest frustrations with men is our inability to get them to do what we think they are supposed to do. We use "shoulds" and "supposed to's" as if we were the supreme beings in a relationship. The key to getting along with men well in general is to accept the answer to the question I asked myself. "Who the hell gave women the right to set the rules, to make their needs more important, and to decide how men should or are supposed to act or respond in a relationship?" Is that really fair? No.
Men have a right to be themselves. They have needs too! I think we as women sometimes get so caught up in what we deserve, what we feel entitled to that we miss the big picture. They are an equal part of the relationship. Men consistently say the one reason they hesitate to get into relationships is because they do not feel they can live up to our rules and expectations. Have we become like that? Have we lost sight of the ability to see men as who they really are, because they may not meet all of our expectations?
We have seen that trying to change men often means losing them. It's more effective to find ways to respond to his differences that we can feel more comfortable with. By lessening his importance, his differences can seem less irritating. After all, our happiness shouldn't be too dependent on what we get from him. That doesn't mean we should sell ourselves short, but is it time for us to accept that men don't have to change because we have a specific image of what we want. Men don't deserve to be labeled as jerks because they don't do things the way we want them to.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Bob Grant's The Women Men Adore
I have just read Bob Grant's book "The Women Men Adore" for the second time. Again I was amazed at all the knowledge packed into that book about male/female dynamics. I have read many a book on dating and relationships but The Women Men Adore is by far one of the best. It does not offer manipulation tactics or trickery to get what you want and need out of a relationship. Instead it offers insight into how men and women are different and how these differences can work together.
Men are not mind readers. They don't know what we need or want if we don't show them. Notice I did not say tell them. Men don't really listen to words, unless you are very skilled at feeling statements.
Bob Grant in the Women Men Adore explains in great detail what and how to communicate with the men in your life. He shares success stories and examples and goes into the whys of it all. How many times have you found yourself asking "Why" when it comes to a man?
I think this is a must read for every woman. It changed the way I relate to men, and how they relate to me. If every woman read The Women Men Adore, the men out there would not stand a chance.
Men are not mind readers. They don't know what we need or want if we don't show them. Notice I did not say tell them. Men don't really listen to words, unless you are very skilled at feeling statements.
Bob Grant in the Women Men Adore explains in great detail what and how to communicate with the men in your life. He shares success stories and examples and goes into the whys of it all. How many times have you found yourself asking "Why" when it comes to a man?
I think this is a must read for every woman. It changed the way I relate to men, and how they relate to me. If every woman read The Women Men Adore, the men out there would not stand a chance.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Are All Men Jerks
From all the complaining we do and hear, it would appear that men are jerks. They don't call when they say they will. They get hot and cold. They don't always tell us the truth and disappoint us in general. They have been known to vanish for days, let us down at the last minute among many other things. Why?
Could the problem lie with us as women and our expectations. Are we holding them to our expectations and not considering the fact that their expectations may differ? We always seem to have a certain time frame that things should be progressing. Should we not consider that their time frame may not be different. Don't they have just as much right to their expectations as we do to ours? Just because their expectations don't match ours does not mean it is wrong.
A man may not feel he has to call everyday. You may feel if he cares he will. Then the questions and doubts enter the woman's mind and the relationship starts it's down hill spiral, all because 2 people have different expectations as to how it is supposed to be. In a relationship there are 2 people. Why should the woman dictate how it is supposed to be? Can't we learn to accept men the way they are and not try to change them into what we want them to be, how we want them to behave.
Men and women are different. Men are logical, women emotional. This is fact. A man's communication tactics, level of need for intimacy, need for space, etc..., are going to be different from a woman's. We may expect compliments, romance, sweet words of endearment, while he thinks changing the oil in your car is an expression of love. I think if we could learn to accept their differences instead of fighting to make them conform to our expectations we would find the term, "Men are Jerks ", may not be so true after all.
I have learned that the key to good communication and relationships is not about trying to make men into what we want them to be, but let them be who they are, they tend to flourish this way. Funny thing happens, they start to trust and open up and in return give you what you really desire and want from the man in your life.
Could the problem lie with us as women and our expectations. Are we holding them to our expectations and not considering the fact that their expectations may differ? We always seem to have a certain time frame that things should be progressing. Should we not consider that their time frame may not be different. Don't they have just as much right to their expectations as we do to ours? Just because their expectations don't match ours does not mean it is wrong.
A man may not feel he has to call everyday. You may feel if he cares he will. Then the questions and doubts enter the woman's mind and the relationship starts it's down hill spiral, all because 2 people have different expectations as to how it is supposed to be. In a relationship there are 2 people. Why should the woman dictate how it is supposed to be? Can't we learn to accept men the way they are and not try to change them into what we want them to be, how we want them to behave.
Men and women are different. Men are logical, women emotional. This is fact. A man's communication tactics, level of need for intimacy, need for space, etc..., are going to be different from a woman's. We may expect compliments, romance, sweet words of endearment, while he thinks changing the oil in your car is an expression of love. I think if we could learn to accept their differences instead of fighting to make them conform to our expectations we would find the term, "Men are Jerks ", may not be so true after all.
I have learned that the key to good communication and relationships is not about trying to make men into what we want them to be, but let them be who they are, they tend to flourish this way. Funny thing happens, they start to trust and open up and in return give you what you really desire and want from the man in your life.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Online Dreadful Dating
I am an active member on a ladies forum. Thousands of women share their experiences there. It seems there is a lot of frustration with online dating and the quality of men we find landing in our inboxes. Below is an excerpt from a lady there that sums our frustrations up well. Just wanted to share.
Yes...I can imagine a guy taking his Match.com picture. He takes 20 different pictures. Then out of those 20 pictures, not to mention all the other pictures he has had taken of him in his 30 years of existence, he chooses the one that is the most out of focus, with the camera up his nostrils, with the color totally off, where you can still see his arm in the picture, with him scowling like a serial rapist, to be his main photo to attract women with online.
Seriously....how can SO MANY MEN be SO CLUELESS? Can't they tell what a decent picture of them is versus a not so decent picture? I would never put a picture up on Match.com that I would be afraid to frame and put on my dresser. So why do guys, in what is supposed to be an ADVERTISEMENT for themselves to potentially find the love of their life, or at the very least someone to have sex with, pick the most horrid, unflattering pictures to represent themselves with?
Or there's 5 pictures of them in a group, where you can't even tell which guy is which. Or there's pictures with their ex-girlfriend, where they've clearly tried to crop her out...but missed her shoulder or her arm. Or there's 10 pictures of sunsets and beaches, not to mention their car or bicycle, and pet dog, but not a SINGLE PICTURE of their face!
And so many profiles are three sentences long and say absolutely nothing about themselves or what they want. "I'm a laid-back, fun-loving, nice guy who is fun to be around. Looking for an adventurous, attractive girl, who is fun to hang out with and likes doing cool stuff." Really? I think the guy might be, like 18, who wrote it, and then I look at the age and he's 38. Really? At the age of 38, this is all you have to say about yourself?
And guys complain that girls don't write to them and they have to do all the work...
Ugh!!!
I will get off my soapbox now.
I've signed up as a Member of Match.com, not a subscriber yet, so I can peruse a little bit and build up my favorites before paying for the subscription. I have probably looked at 200 profiles. Of the 200, I only found 2 that I liked, that looked like they were written by someone with half a brain. I have about 6 others on there that are okay, maybe possibilities. That's it. Nearly all the rest of the profiles and pictures looked like they were posted by someone with a severe mental handicap.
It is immensely frustrating, as I have expanded my search range to include from 28 to 43 (I am 29), and up to 30 miles away (which is an ETERNITY away in Los Angeles), and I have so few options, on the world's largest dating site.
Whew. But, I have to remember...back when I was online dating last year...the best guys I met were all from Match. Didn't have the right chemistry with them, but at least they were nice, smelled okay, could put a sentence together, and could spell. A couple of them were really funny. So I'm trying to focus on the mostly positive experience I had with Match in the past rather than the fear and frustration I am feeling right now!!
As a recently married woman told me once: "You're not looking for 100 or 50 or 10 great guys. You're only looking for ONE. Focus on that. You can find ONE great guy." Easier said than done, but I'm not giving up!
Yes...I can imagine a guy taking his Match.com picture. He takes 20 different pictures. Then out of those 20 pictures, not to mention all the other pictures he has had taken of him in his 30 years of existence, he chooses the one that is the most out of focus, with the camera up his nostrils, with the color totally off, where you can still see his arm in the picture, with him scowling like a serial rapist, to be his main photo to attract women with online.
Seriously....how can SO MANY MEN be SO CLUELESS? Can't they tell what a decent picture of them is versus a not so decent picture? I would never put a picture up on Match.com that I would be afraid to frame and put on my dresser. So why do guys, in what is supposed to be an ADVERTISEMENT for themselves to potentially find the love of their life, or at the very least someone to have sex with, pick the most horrid, unflattering pictures to represent themselves with?
Or there's 5 pictures of them in a group, where you can't even tell which guy is which. Or there's pictures with their ex-girlfriend, where they've clearly tried to crop her out...but missed her shoulder or her arm. Or there's 10 pictures of sunsets and beaches, not to mention their car or bicycle, and pet dog, but not a SINGLE PICTURE of their face!
And so many profiles are three sentences long and say absolutely nothing about themselves or what they want. "I'm a laid-back, fun-loving, nice guy who is fun to be around. Looking for an adventurous, attractive girl, who is fun to hang out with and likes doing cool stuff." Really? I think the guy might be, like 18, who wrote it, and then I look at the age and he's 38. Really? At the age of 38, this is all you have to say about yourself?
And guys complain that girls don't write to them and they have to do all the work...
Ugh!!!
I will get off my soapbox now.
I've signed up as a Member of Match.com, not a subscriber yet, so I can peruse a little bit and build up my favorites before paying for the subscription. I have probably looked at 200 profiles. Of the 200, I only found 2 that I liked, that looked like they were written by someone with half a brain. I have about 6 others on there that are okay, maybe possibilities. That's it. Nearly all the rest of the profiles and pictures looked like they were posted by someone with a severe mental handicap.
It is immensely frustrating, as I have expanded my search range to include from 28 to 43 (I am 29), and up to 30 miles away (which is an ETERNITY away in Los Angeles), and I have so few options, on the world's largest dating site.
Whew. But, I have to remember...back when I was online dating last year...the best guys I met were all from Match. Didn't have the right chemistry with them, but at least they were nice, smelled okay, could put a sentence together, and could spell. A couple of them were really funny. So I'm trying to focus on the mostly positive experience I had with Match in the past rather than the fear and frustration I am feeling right now!!
As a recently married woman told me once: "You're not looking for 100 or 50 or 10 great guys. You're only looking for ONE. Focus on that. You can find ONE great guy." Easier said than done, but I'm not giving up!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Flirting on Facebook
The good thing about facebook as opposed to those on line free and paid dating sites is you get a better glimpse of one's personality. They are out there interacting with others with no lame written profile that may or may not be true. You have references that come in the form of friends. You don't get that on a dating site. Facebook flirting is by far safer and actually more effective than the dating sites. You just have to perfect it, it is an art form to a degree.
So how does one go about flirting on facebook? It's simple, it's just a matter of commenting on a post. It may be a post of someone that sparks your interest or it may be a friend commenting on the original posters post. I have many a times commented on a friend's post where one of his or her friend's commenting sparked my interest. The result usually is a new connection.
Think in terms of everyone has single friends, brothers and sisters. The more you broaden your network, the greater your chances are. Pay attention to the comments, wait for the opportunity and toss in your witty, humorous facebook flirt. This process will not progress as quickly as it could on an on line dating site, but anticipation often builds the attraction. The result is more than likely better quality matches and dates. Flirting on face book can get the ball rolling and greatly increase your dating life.
So go ahead and try some facebook flirting, you have nothing to lose. If you can flirt in a text you can certainly succeed at flirting on facebook. More and more couples are hooking up on facebook. Don't just sit back and wait, take some action, try some facebook flirting.
I am a single woman very active on facebook. I have experienced success with getting dates on facebook by the simple art of being able to spin some pretty good flirty words, much like flirting with text messages. It is fun and I have been sharing this with others both men and women of all ages. For more details on how to make facebook work for you in your dating life.
So how does one go about flirting on facebook? It's simple, it's just a matter of commenting on a post. It may be a post of someone that sparks your interest or it may be a friend commenting on the original posters post. I have many a times commented on a friend's post where one of his or her friend's commenting sparked my interest. The result usually is a new connection.
Think in terms of everyone has single friends, brothers and sisters. The more you broaden your network, the greater your chances are. Pay attention to the comments, wait for the opportunity and toss in your witty, humorous facebook flirt. This process will not progress as quickly as it could on an on line dating site, but anticipation often builds the attraction. The result is more than likely better quality matches and dates. Flirting on face book can get the ball rolling and greatly increase your dating life.
So go ahead and try some facebook flirting, you have nothing to lose. If you can flirt in a text you can certainly succeed at flirting on facebook. More and more couples are hooking up on facebook. Don't just sit back and wait, take some action, try some facebook flirting.
I am a single woman very active on facebook. I have experienced success with getting dates on facebook by the simple art of being able to spin some pretty good flirty words, much like flirting with text messages. It is fun and I have been sharing this with others both men and women of all ages. For more details on how to make facebook work for you in your dating life.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Will He Propose?
The truth of the matter is almost all men secretly want a commitment, they want to love and be loved. They don't want to be alone. They want to find that woman that will create an amazing connection. A feeling that he just can't stand to spend his life with out. They crave this just as much as we women do.
Many women think that a man should just know to ask for a deeper commitment and marriage. They are left disappointed when he does not propose after sometimes years into the relationship. Men don't instinctively know this, they have to be inspired on a deeper level. You wonder will he propose. If you have inspired him on this deep level then the answer is probably yes.
Often women try to have the talk or lead a man with words. Men don't respond to words and actually are excellent at tuning you out. It's actions and the ability to make him feel safe. If you are trying to use words and still wondering will he propose, the answer is probably no, he may not.
Women also give too much too soon, they move in, and start taking care of the man. He gets comfortable and is not inspired to move things forward. Why should he propose? He has it all already. If you are already playing housewife, there is nothing to move him forward or for him to look forward to.
If you have inspired your man on a deep level and really open up to you, then yes he will probably propose. If you are still having those doubts and still question will he propose, you might have some work to do.
Stop being the girlfriend and go to wife. What if you could burn an image of marriage and commitment in your man's mind? What if you could learn to melt his resistance away and never have to worry about will he propose again?
Many women think that a man should just know to ask for a deeper commitment and marriage. They are left disappointed when he does not propose after sometimes years into the relationship. Men don't instinctively know this, they have to be inspired on a deeper level. You wonder will he propose. If you have inspired him on this deep level then the answer is probably yes.
Often women try to have the talk or lead a man with words. Men don't respond to words and actually are excellent at tuning you out. It's actions and the ability to make him feel safe. If you are trying to use words and still wondering will he propose, the answer is probably no, he may not.
Women also give too much too soon, they move in, and start taking care of the man. He gets comfortable and is not inspired to move things forward. Why should he propose? He has it all already. If you are already playing housewife, there is nothing to move him forward or for him to look forward to.
If you have inspired your man on a deep level and really open up to you, then yes he will probably propose. If you are still having those doubts and still question will he propose, you might have some work to do.
Stop being the girlfriend and go to wife. What if you could burn an image of marriage and commitment in your man's mind? What if you could learn to melt his resistance away and never have to worry about will he propose again?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Texting Guys
It seems that in today's technology we spend a lot of time texting, it is easy and if done correctly, can enhance the attraction of your guy.
When texting a guy there are a few guidelines to follow. You do not want to come across as needy or desperate. Below are some things to remember.
1. It is best not to text first, at least on a regular basis, this shows you are way more into him than he may be into you.
2. If he does text you first, don't reply immediately, he will be thinking, wow, she must be sitting there holding the phone just waiting for me, we don't wait for men, we are busy. Wait at least 10 minutes, minimum, create some anticipation from him.
3. If he does not text back don't send another one, you don't want to appear desperate
4. Nothing serious or questioning in a text. Always be light, fun and witty.
5. Do not send anything too sexual, he may be sharing with his buds and never send nude shots, you can bet his buds will see this. It can sit in his phone for eternity and no telling where that pic may end up.
6. Don't send mindless lame messages such as what are you doing? What's up? He will see that as an excuse you are using just to talk to him.
Texting guys can create some incredible attraction if you know how to do it correctly. You can have a guy dying with anticipation to see you. There is a right way and a wrong way.
Mike, the Master Dater wrote a great little inexpensive book on this. It explains how a guy sees your messages and the right and wrong ways to get his attention. This book is well worth the read. For more information click here.
When texting a guy there are a few guidelines to follow. You do not want to come across as needy or desperate. Below are some things to remember.
1. It is best not to text first, at least on a regular basis, this shows you are way more into him than he may be into you.
2. If he does text you first, don't reply immediately, he will be thinking, wow, she must be sitting there holding the phone just waiting for me, we don't wait for men, we are busy. Wait at least 10 minutes, minimum, create some anticipation from him.
3. If he does not text back don't send another one, you don't want to appear desperate
4. Nothing serious or questioning in a text. Always be light, fun and witty.
5. Do not send anything too sexual, he may be sharing with his buds and never send nude shots, you can bet his buds will see this. It can sit in his phone for eternity and no telling where that pic may end up.
6. Don't send mindless lame messages such as what are you doing? What's up? He will see that as an excuse you are using just to talk to him.
Texting guys can create some incredible attraction if you know how to do it correctly. You can have a guy dying with anticipation to see you. There is a right way and a wrong way.
Mike, the Master Dater wrote a great little inexpensive book on this. It explains how a guy sees your messages and the right and wrong ways to get his attention. This book is well worth the read. For more information click here.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Men and Text Messaging
Ok, so I work with hundreds of women and there is a huge complaint common for most of them. Why do guys insist on texting so much? Can't they pick up the phone? Some even ask you out via text. What is up with this.
The fact of the matter is it is easier for them, they get lazy. It takes that pressure of of them. Men deal with a lot more rejection than women do and this lessens the blow so to speak. If they call to ask you out, they have to be ready with an instant reply if you accept or decline. With a text, they can take a minute to think about it. Call it an easy way out, bless their hearts.
Another big reason is it shields them from the emotional drama that they assume we are going to dish out to them. When in a conversation via phone, it is easier for a woman to ask lots of questions. Questions they don't won't to hear such as, what did you do last night? Who were you with? When will I see you again? With a text message they can skip all this. Men really don't want emotional drama, they avoid it at all costs and now technology has assisted them with this plight.
So what can you do to get them to stop all the texting nonsense and occasionally pick up the phone. Direct is the best approach with perhaps a bit of humor added in. When I have been asked out via text, I reply, "dunno, why don't you call me and we will discuss it". Or suggest how much you love the sound of their voice. Talk to a man's ego and not his emotions and you can get about anything.
As far as women texting and calling men, well that is an entirely different subject.
The fact of the matter is it is easier for them, they get lazy. It takes that pressure of of them. Men deal with a lot more rejection than women do and this lessens the blow so to speak. If they call to ask you out, they have to be ready with an instant reply if you accept or decline. With a text, they can take a minute to think about it. Call it an easy way out, bless their hearts.
Another big reason is it shields them from the emotional drama that they assume we are going to dish out to them. When in a conversation via phone, it is easier for a woman to ask lots of questions. Questions they don't won't to hear such as, what did you do last night? Who were you with? When will I see you again? With a text message they can skip all this. Men really don't want emotional drama, they avoid it at all costs and now technology has assisted them with this plight.
So what can you do to get them to stop all the texting nonsense and occasionally pick up the phone. Direct is the best approach with perhaps a bit of humor added in. When I have been asked out via text, I reply, "dunno, why don't you call me and we will discuss it". Or suggest how much you love the sound of their voice. Talk to a man's ego and not his emotions and you can get about anything.
As far as women texting and calling men, well that is an entirely different subject.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
How to Keep a Man Interested
What is it that makes a man just stop calling and vanish off the face of the earth when you thought you had such a connection. Is it something you did or didn't do? You can get and keep a guy interested in you, but it may not be what you are traditionally thinking.
Men like a challenge and an independent woman. They like the chase. Are you available every time he calls you? If so, stop. Let his imagination work for you. Try not answering one night, turn him down if he calls at the last minute. This tells him you are valuable and you value your time. This also tells him he had best value your time as well if he expects to get any of it. Men value what they work hardest for.
Men don't like to be mothered. Are you giving gifts, doing kind deeds, trying to make his life easier and be the perfect girlfriend? Do you cook him dinner, pamper him? Stop. Feed him a bag of popcorn, no bowl until he proves worthy of your gifts. Women that intrigue men don't prepay. In other words, don't give give give when he is not doing the same. He prepays, not you. He is the hunter. Let him hunt.
Do you drop everything for him, ditch your girlfriends and plans to spend time with him? Stop again. If you are doing this, he is seeing you as a doormat. You want to be his dream girl, not doormat. If you are giving up other things in your life for him, again, you are showing him that you put more value in him than in yourself. When you value yourself and your own life, he respects you. With self value, you are showing him how you expect to be treated by the way you treat yourself. This keeps a man interested.
Do you avoid rocking the boat because you fear he will lose interest or vanish? To keep a man interested, sometimes you have to rock that boat. He will sense your fear of losing him. To keep a man interested, you have to let him know in no uncertain terms that you do not fear rocking the boat, you have walking power. This keeps you slightly out of his reach and will make him work harder to please you instead of you having to work harder to please him.
Men like a challenge and an independent woman. They like the chase. Are you available every time he calls you? If so, stop. Let his imagination work for you. Try not answering one night, turn him down if he calls at the last minute. This tells him you are valuable and you value your time. This also tells him he had best value your time as well if he expects to get any of it. Men value what they work hardest for.
Men don't like to be mothered. Are you giving gifts, doing kind deeds, trying to make his life easier and be the perfect girlfriend? Do you cook him dinner, pamper him? Stop. Feed him a bag of popcorn, no bowl until he proves worthy of your gifts. Women that intrigue men don't prepay. In other words, don't give give give when he is not doing the same. He prepays, not you. He is the hunter. Let him hunt.
Do you drop everything for him, ditch your girlfriends and plans to spend time with him? Stop again. If you are doing this, he is seeing you as a doormat. You want to be his dream girl, not doormat. If you are giving up other things in your life for him, again, you are showing him that you put more value in him than in yourself. When you value yourself and your own life, he respects you. With self value, you are showing him how you expect to be treated by the way you treat yourself. This keeps a man interested.
Do you avoid rocking the boat because you fear he will lose interest or vanish? To keep a man interested, sometimes you have to rock that boat. He will sense your fear of losing him. To keep a man interested, you have to let him know in no uncertain terms that you do not fear rocking the boat, you have walking power. This keeps you slightly out of his reach and will make him work harder to please you instead of you having to work harder to please him.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Commitment Fear in Men
Hopefully you are among one of the lucky women who has never been dumped, but sometime in your life, it will happen. Chances are you have already experienced this more than once. You have probably watched your friends go through the same horror. What is this commitment fear in men?
One of the biggest mistakes that we make as women is putting the responsibility of our happiness on the man. When a man feels he has to take on your happiness he panics. It puts pressure on him to deliver and he is probably clueless how to make you happy. He may not even know what makes him happy, but one thing for sure that thrills a man is to know he can effortlessly fulfill your hearts desires.
Often we are not even aware we are projecting the responsibility of our happiness onto our man. It may be in our words or in our actions and we may not even think twice about it. The biggest thing you can do to propel a man towards you is to take your happiness into your own hands. Be who you are and be happy doing it. One of the best gifts you could give a man is to take the pressure off him by taking the responsibility for your own happiness. This takes the pressure away and he will give more freely.
These men that won't commit are often being true to their male nature -- and this often comes into conflict with women who are just being true to their female nature. Its a pattern with men. Oftentimes, neither the man or the woman is singularly at fault. It's just the eternal battle of the sexes at work. If you can understand how men process if you are the one, you can overcome his fear of commitment.
Have you been in and out of relationships, or in a relationship that seems to be stuck? There are ways to inspire a man to commit. You can become the woman who awakens that longing in him and have him as yours for life. Even the most commitment phobic men can be led to commitment.
One of the biggest mistakes that we make as women is putting the responsibility of our happiness on the man. When a man feels he has to take on your happiness he panics. It puts pressure on him to deliver and he is probably clueless how to make you happy. He may not even know what makes him happy, but one thing for sure that thrills a man is to know he can effortlessly fulfill your hearts desires.
Often we are not even aware we are projecting the responsibility of our happiness onto our man. It may be in our words or in our actions and we may not even think twice about it. The biggest thing you can do to propel a man towards you is to take your happiness into your own hands. Be who you are and be happy doing it. One of the best gifts you could give a man is to take the pressure off him by taking the responsibility for your own happiness. This takes the pressure away and he will give more freely.
These men that won't commit are often being true to their male nature -- and this often comes into conflict with women who are just being true to their female nature. Its a pattern with men. Oftentimes, neither the man or the woman is singularly at fault. It's just the eternal battle of the sexes at work. If you can understand how men process if you are the one, you can overcome his fear of commitment.
Have you been in and out of relationships, or in a relationship that seems to be stuck? There are ways to inspire a man to commit. You can become the woman who awakens that longing in him and have him as yours for life. Even the most commitment phobic men can be led to commitment.
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