If your man just broke up with you, the missing him is agonizing. You just want to talk to him, hear his voice. You will settle for a friendly talk just to ease your pain. First off contact with an ex is detrimental to ever getting back together, but that is another topic. If you talk to him, be his friend, you are actually easing his transition and making yours harder. If you want him back, you must not be his friend now let me explain why.
I know a woman who insisted that if she remained friends with her ex, he would eventually see the error of his ways. He would realize how great she really was and come back to her. So they remained friends, for about 2 months that is. He felt comfortable that she was ok, and he moved forward with his life. Two months into this friendship, guess what? He is dating someone new and it seems pretty serious. Being his friend backfired, she didn't get her man back.
All this woman did was ease his transition and help him move forward easily. He never had the opportunity to miss her. He ended the romance, but she remained his friend, thus he never felt the loss. To get a man back, he has to feel the pain and the loss. This doesn't usually happen right away with men. It takes a while, they process a break up differently.
So since he never felt the pain or loss, he never missed her because she was right there, his loyal friend. Wow, the best of both worlds. He can keep the old girlfriend as a friend and seek a new exciting romance with another. This happens almost every time you remain friends with an ex.
Look at it like this. He dumped you. He made his bed. Now there you are making it all comfortable for him. It's like giving him an extra pillow, extra blankets, making him warm and cozy in this new bed of freedom he made. Why on earth would he leave it and come back to you. He won't. This is no way to get your man back.
If a man dumps you but wants to remain friends or if you think being his friend will get him back, think again. It's like telling him it's fine to dump you, and it really isn't. He gave up the right to have you as a friend, he gave up all rights to you when he tossed your heart aside. He made his bed, if you want him back, let him lie in it and feel the loss completely. If you want him back, stay away from being his friend.
What you do and don't do after a break up is critical. If you want any snowballs chance of getting him back, mustn't be his friend.
Showing posts with label how can i get him back. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how can i get him back. Show all posts
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Monday, June 22, 2009
Broken Hearted and You Want Him Back
You and your guy just broke up and you are feeling desperate. You don't feel like doing anything buy crying. Your heart is broken and you are doing good to get out of the bed in the morning. Every song on the radio just tears at your heartstrings and you could not possibly watch a chick flick. You are playing the break up and the past over and over in your head and driving yourself crazy. What could I have done differently you ask yourself. What can I do to get my man back. How can I get through this?
There are things you can do that will greatly increase your chances for getting your man back. First you need to accept the things that you may be doing or want to do to get him back that could actually drive him further away. If you are calling, showing up at his house and places where he frequents, you need to stop. This just reminds him of why he broke up with you in the first place and it puts too much emotions onto him. Men don't deal with emotions very well, they can't help this. It is just a fact that we as women deal with emotions much better than men. That being said you have to understand that just because the emotional appeal would work for you as a woman, it will not work for a man. You want to do what works for them.
I read in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus that men are like rubber bands. Now when you think about this, it really is true. They will stretch out and then spring back. With a man if you want him to spring back, you have got to allow him to stretch out. They need this time to stretch as this is when they start to really sort through things and this is when they will miss you. If you are constantly in their space, this process will not happen. Give him his space. This is the first step to get your man back.
Don't contact him. This is the hard part, but men do not respond to all of those words you are pushing at them. They do respond to distance though. Distance works on their imagination. They will wonder, wow, what happened? This woman who was so into me is not calling. What is she doing? Let his imagination fill in the gaps. This will prompt him to contact you. Now please understand this may not happen in a matter of days. It could take weeks and weeks. A man's time table is so different from that of a woman. Its something you have to accept to get through this. It is a fact though that the majority of men will initiate contact eventually after the break up. Its gonna happen if you play it cool. If you want your guy back, let him contact you first.
Once he makes the contact, you have to be ready with a plan. You want him back remember. Do not talk about the break up or the whys or your emotions. Keep it light and be friendly. You want to make this contact positive and you want it to replace the bad memory of the break up. You want to leave him feeling good about you as this will open him up to call or contact again. After he does contact you, do not call him, wait once more. I know you want to talk about your pain and feelings but wait. There will be plenty of time to talk about that once you get him back and into a committed relationship.
Most women when attempting to get their man back do all the wrong things. Do you want to be one of those women? Wouldn't you rather know how a man thinks about a break up and how to appeal to his way of thinking? How much time do you have before he is out and finds someone else? Can you afford to wait? Be the woman who has a plan to bring back her man and lead him to commitment.
There are things you can do that will greatly increase your chances for getting your man back. First you need to accept the things that you may be doing or want to do to get him back that could actually drive him further away. If you are calling, showing up at his house and places where he frequents, you need to stop. This just reminds him of why he broke up with you in the first place and it puts too much emotions onto him. Men don't deal with emotions very well, they can't help this. It is just a fact that we as women deal with emotions much better than men. That being said you have to understand that just because the emotional appeal would work for you as a woman, it will not work for a man. You want to do what works for them.
I read in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus that men are like rubber bands. Now when you think about this, it really is true. They will stretch out and then spring back. With a man if you want him to spring back, you have got to allow him to stretch out. They need this time to stretch as this is when they start to really sort through things and this is when they will miss you. If you are constantly in their space, this process will not happen. Give him his space. This is the first step to get your man back.
Don't contact him. This is the hard part, but men do not respond to all of those words you are pushing at them. They do respond to distance though. Distance works on their imagination. They will wonder, wow, what happened? This woman who was so into me is not calling. What is she doing? Let his imagination fill in the gaps. This will prompt him to contact you. Now please understand this may not happen in a matter of days. It could take weeks and weeks. A man's time table is so different from that of a woman. Its something you have to accept to get through this. It is a fact though that the majority of men will initiate contact eventually after the break up. Its gonna happen if you play it cool. If you want your guy back, let him contact you first.
Once he makes the contact, you have to be ready with a plan. You want him back remember. Do not talk about the break up or the whys or your emotions. Keep it light and be friendly. You want to make this contact positive and you want it to replace the bad memory of the break up. You want to leave him feeling good about you as this will open him up to call or contact again. After he does contact you, do not call him, wait once more. I know you want to talk about your pain and feelings but wait. There will be plenty of time to talk about that once you get him back and into a committed relationship.
Most women when attempting to get their man back do all the wrong things. Do you want to be one of those women? Wouldn't you rather know how a man thinks about a break up and how to appeal to his way of thinking? How much time do you have before he is out and finds someone else? Can you afford to wait? Be the woman who has a plan to bring back her man and lead him to commitment.
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