If He Broke Up With You - Never Agree To Be His Friend

If your man just broke up with you, the missing him is agonizing. You just want to talk to him, hear his voice. You will settle for a friendly talk just to ease your pain. First off contact with an ex is detrimental to ever getting back together, but that is another topic. If you talk to him, be his friend, you are actually easing his transition and making yours harder. If you want him back, you must not be his friend now let me explain why.

I know a woman who insisted that if she remained friends with her ex, he would eventually see the error of his ways. He would realize how great she really was and come back to her. So they remained friends, for about 2 months that is. He felt comfortable that she was ok, and he moved forward with his life. Two months into this friendship, guess what? He is dating someone new and it seems pretty serious. Being his friend backfired, she didn't get her man back.

All this woman did was ease his transition and help him move forward easily. He never had the opportunity to miss her. He ended the romance, but she remained his friend, thus he never felt the loss. To get a man back, he has to feel the pain and the loss. This doesn't usually happen right away with men. It takes a while, they process a break up differently.

So since he never felt the pain or loss, he never missed her because she was right there, his loyal friend. Wow, the best of both worlds. He can keep the old girlfriend as a friend and seek a new exciting romance with another. This happens almost every time you remain friends with an ex.

Look at it like this. He dumped you. He made his bed. Now there you are making it all comfortable for him. It's like giving him an extra pillow, extra blankets, making him warm and cozy in this new bed of freedom he made. Why on earth would he leave it and come back to you. He won't. This is no way to get your man back.

If a man dumps you but wants to remain friends or if you think being his friend will get him back, think again. It's like telling him it's fine to dump you, and it really isn't. He gave up the right to have you as a friend, he gave up all rights to you when he tossed your heart aside. He made his bed, if you want him back, let him lie in it and feel the loss completely. If you want him back, stay away from being his friend.

What you do and don't do after a break up is critical. If you want any snowballs chance of getting him back, mustn't be his friend.

Get Your Man Back Forever

You can't eat, sleep, and you are miserable. Your emotions are out of control and he consumes your every thought. You play the last few weeks over and over in your head. He loved you, so how can he just walk? You can't seem to find an answer and all you can do is just guess and drive yourself crazy. Sound familiar? Its normal to feel desperation when the one you gave your heart to just walked. Breath and calm down because it is possible to get him back.

There are many dynamics in a male/female relationship and you may be wondering what did I do to deserve this? Its rarely something you said or did. It goes deeper than that. Many times when a man is really feeling it for you, this is when he runs. He fears you may be too much work, you may be to clingy or needy, or the relationship may have become dull and routine.

The first thing you have to do is stop all contact. Do not contact him for any reason. I know that this is so hard to do, because your emotions are out the roof. You want to ask questions, you want to understand. This is actually counterproductive and just pushes him further away. The no contact rule works in 3 ways to your advantage.

It prevents you from acting needy and insecure around your ex. It also prevents you from expressing anger that you may be feeling. Neediness, insecurity and anger are not emotions you want him to see, these things drive him further away.
It instills a fear of loss in him. It pushes him away and makes him wonder why. He may even start to wonder if you have moved on to someone else. Humans only realize something's value when its gone, in most all cases. You want him to see you as valuable again like when you first met.
It gives you time to get your emotions under control for when he does contact you. It gives you time to soak up all the information you can about why men leave and help you to understand the breakup and exactly what goes on in a man's mind after a break up. It also helps you get you plan together of how to get him back forever and because he wants to come back.


Now to address your biggest fear. The biggest fear we have when we lose our man is the thought of him with another woman. It makes you sick inside. Statistic wise, it is a fact that men will move on to another woman rather quickly and we are left behind thinking how could he do that. Its a male ego thing, they rebound much quicker than we do. It boosts their self confidence and helps them feel more like a man. You have to stop thinking these thoughts and do something to avoid this at all cost if that man that you lost is a keeper. Those thoughts are destructive in getting him back.
Pick yourself up and start working on how to get him back forever. Its not hopeless, it has been done by many, but not in the ways that your emotions are telling you. Get your emotions in check and start looking at this in a different light and get your man back.



The no contact rule is just the beginning of getting your ex back. There are many more powerful techniques, methods and strategies for getting him back. Stop cying and give it your last and best shot. You want him back in your arms right. You don't want to see or find out a month or two down the road that you have been replaced. Learn how to reverse the rejection you now feel and replace it with the knowledge that it takes to get your man back forever. For more information on this plan please visit this site. Get your ex back.

Break Up and Our Crazy Thoughts

When we have been dumped left, jilted, whatever you want to call it, we start having these crazy thoughts. We rethink it over and over and replay conversations and good and bad times in our heads over and over. This drives us insane. We are our worst enemy in times like these.

One of the biggest fears we have I do believe is he or will he be with someone else. We imagine them in the arms of another woman doing and saying all the things they did and said with us. It eats us alive.

Its the way we as women think, but you have to stop driving youself crazy about something you have absolutely no control over. Do you think he is thinking those thoughts about you? Maybe, maybe not. You have to accept those things that you can't control and work on what you can control, which is you. You are only hurting yourself more by allowing this to consume you. Take control of your thought process and accept that whatever happens just happens. Acceptance is a big part of keeping those thoughts under control.

I went through and even convinced myself that my guy broke up with me and he would have no trouble finding another woman. Then I convinced myself that even if he did, she would not be no where near as wonderful as I am. That is how I learned to deal with those thoughts.

If you do want him back though and you want to decrease the chances of him ending up with someone else, then get on the plan to get back your man.

How Do I Survive a Break Up? Can I Get Him Back?

The relationship has ended. You are on an emotional roller coaster. You go from crying over him to cussing him. You want to pick up the phone. You want him to know how you hurt and you want to scream at him when you feel mad. You don't understand how can he just turn off those emotions.

First I want to start this with a little about and why I feel I am qualified to write this post. I have been giving all of this wonderful and helpful advice and even made remarks about the wonderful man I had met and dated for quite some time now (going on 10 months). Well despite all of my advice, I noticed the distance growing between us out of nowhere. I saw the signs. I knew it was coming. I was about to get that song and dance about "Its not you, its me".

I went to my library of books and I found one that so far is helping me to keep peace with this situation. It prepared me for the breakup, actually inspired me to be the one to initiate the break up even though it is the last thing I wanted. After the break up conversation was over I knew I had done the right thing. I held on to my dignity thank God. I felt empowered because I did it on my terms. Did I cry a river? Yes I did and still am, but let me tell you, I see things clearly (most of the time). I am still a woman and so I have had my crazy moments and outrageous thoughts like showing up on his doorstep and acting like a stalker.

Now that you know where I am coming from I hope I can help you if you are going through this too. First off whether you want him back or not try to stop those crazy thoughts. You know the ones. Is he interested in someone else, what could I have done to avoid this and stop replaying scenarios over and over in your head. Try to accept the break up and know that you can't go back in time. You can however change how you react to it from this day forward.

So, how do you survive a breakup? The first thing I did was call all my friends and let them know it was their turn to help me out for a change. I called male and female friends and it really helps to talk to them. Stay busy, listen to upbeat music. My favorite today is a pop song "Better in Time". Remember it will get better. You will be ok eventually.

Do not and I repeat, Do not call or contact him under any circumstance. You will probably feel really bad about yourself if you don't get the outcome you want and it is doubtful that you will. Calling him just reinforces and reminds him of why he wanted out to start with. Sit tight as my girlfriend tells me constantly. Let him have that time, because with men, they don't figure it out so soon. They need time to cool and let the negative thoughts subside. This could take weeks. After the negative thoughts are not so much in their mind, this is when they may begin to remember the good thoughts. This is when they start to miss you. If he is going to contact you this is when it will happen.

If he contacts you again, don't be negative, don't ask questions, give up very little about what you have been doing. If he really still cares he is going to want to know more. Don't give it to him yet, you just went through hell and you are not going to make it easy. Smile while you are on the phone. I know what you are thinking, you have got to be kidding. You want me to smile when my heart has been ripped out. Yes I do. This will remind him that once upon a time, things were good and you were great to be with. Remember, you don't want to make him feel anything negative. If and when you rekindle your romance, you can talk about things after it has progressed. Can you get him back? Maybe, but you have to play it cool.

Also I have found that when you have pain in your life, this is when you are more open to receive joy. You may be crying on a friends shoulder and they say something that just gets to you, or it may be a song on the radio. For me the sun came out after days of raining and I was so grateful. That's a bit nostalgic, but hey when you are hurting who cares what makes you feel better. Grab on to every simple pleasure you can right now. If you get him back, wonderful, if you don't you will be ok.

Had this happened to me a year ago, I would not be near as level headed about this as I am today. I had no idea that all the dating books I read would be helping me with this, but basically what I have learned is "What I will and will not accept in a relationship". As long as I stay true to that, then I will be ok as well.