Broken Hearted and You Want Him Back

You and your guy just broke up and you are feeling desperate. You don't feel like doing anything buy crying. Your heart is broken and you are doing good to get out of the bed in the morning. Every song on the radio just tears at your heartstrings and you could not possibly watch a chick flick. You are playing the break up and the past over and over in your head and driving yourself crazy. What could I have done differently you ask yourself. What can I do to get my man back. How can I get through this?

There are things you can do that will greatly increase your chances for getting your man back. First you need to accept the things that you may be doing or want to do to get him back that could actually drive him further away. If you are calling, showing up at his house and places where he frequents, you need to stop. This just reminds him of why he broke up with you in the first place and it puts too much emotions onto him. Men don't deal with emotions very well, they can't help this. It is just a fact that we as women deal with emotions much better than men. That being said you have to understand that just because the emotional appeal would work for you as a woman, it will not work for a man. You want to do what works for them.

I read in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus that men are like rubber bands. Now when you think about this, it really is true. They will stretch out and then spring back. With a man if you want him to spring back, you have got to allow him to stretch out. They need this time to stretch as this is when they start to really sort through things and this is when they will miss you. If you are constantly in their space, this process will not happen. Give him his space. This is the first step to get your man back.

Don't contact him. This is the hard part, but men do not respond to all of those words you are pushing at them. They do respond to distance though. Distance works on their imagination. They will wonder, wow, what happened? This woman who was so into me is not calling. What is she doing? Let his imagination fill in the gaps. This will prompt him to contact you. Now please understand this may not happen in a matter of days. It could take weeks and weeks. A man's time table is so different from that of a woman. Its something you have to accept to get through this. It is a fact though that the majority of men will initiate contact eventually after the break up. Its gonna happen if you play it cool. If you want your guy back, let him contact you first.

Once he makes the contact, you have to be ready with a plan. You want him back remember. Do not talk about the break up or the whys or your emotions. Keep it light and be friendly. You want to make this contact positive and you want it to replace the bad memory of the break up. You want to leave him feeling good about you as this will open him up to call or contact again. After he does contact you, do not call him, wait once more. I know you want to talk about your pain and feelings but wait. There will be plenty of time to talk about that once you get him back and into a committed relationship.

Most women when attempting to get their man back do all the wrong things. Do you want to be one of those women? Wouldn't you rather know how a man thinks about a break up and how to appeal to his way of thinking? How much time do you have before he is out and finds someone else? Can you afford to wait? Be the woman who has a plan to bring back her man and lead him to commitment.

About How Do I Get Him Back by Bob Grant

Bob Grant is the Relationship Doctor. His book, How Do I Get Him back clearly designs and shows you how to implement a plan to get your man back after a break up. His plan is simple and effective. He explains from a man's point of view why it works.

In this book you will learn the reasons men leave, what makes them stay and how to keep him once you get him back. He examines the differences as to why women think they leave to why they actually do. It is quite an eyeopener. I wish I would have read it a long time ago.

In the end, he offers last resort advice as to how to get him back in the event his plan fails. This book will inspire you and assist you in all the emotional turmoil you go through in a break up. Whether you are in a break up or your man is getting distant and you sense it may be coming, this book is fabulous, you will not want to put it down.

How Do I Survive a Break Up? Can I Get Him Back?

The relationship has ended. You are on an emotional roller coaster. You go from crying over him to cussing him. You want to pick up the phone. You want him to know how you hurt and you want to scream at him when you feel mad. You don't understand how can he just turn off those emotions.

First I want to start this with a little about and why I feel I am qualified to write this post. I have been giving all of this wonderful and helpful advice and even made remarks about the wonderful man I had met and dated for quite some time now (going on 10 months). Well despite all of my advice, I noticed the distance growing between us out of nowhere. I saw the signs. I knew it was coming. I was about to get that song and dance about "Its not you, its me".

I went to my library of books and I found one that so far is helping me to keep peace with this situation. It prepared me for the breakup, actually inspired me to be the one to initiate the break up even though it is the last thing I wanted. After the break up conversation was over I knew I had done the right thing. I held on to my dignity thank God. I felt empowered because I did it on my terms. Did I cry a river? Yes I did and still am, but let me tell you, I see things clearly (most of the time). I am still a woman and so I have had my crazy moments and outrageous thoughts like showing up on his doorstep and acting like a stalker.

Now that you know where I am coming from I hope I can help you if you are going through this too. First off whether you want him back or not try to stop those crazy thoughts. You know the ones. Is he interested in someone else, what could I have done to avoid this and stop replaying scenarios over and over in your head. Try to accept the break up and know that you can't go back in time. You can however change how you react to it from this day forward.

So, how do you survive a breakup? The first thing I did was call all my friends and let them know it was their turn to help me out for a change. I called male and female friends and it really helps to talk to them. Stay busy, listen to upbeat music. My favorite today is a pop song "Better in Time". Remember it will get better. You will be ok eventually.

Do not and I repeat, Do not call or contact him under any circumstance. You will probably feel really bad about yourself if you don't get the outcome you want and it is doubtful that you will. Calling him just reinforces and reminds him of why he wanted out to start with. Sit tight as my girlfriend tells me constantly. Let him have that time, because with men, they don't figure it out so soon. They need time to cool and let the negative thoughts subside. This could take weeks. After the negative thoughts are not so much in their mind, this is when they may begin to remember the good thoughts. This is when they start to miss you. If he is going to contact you this is when it will happen.

If he contacts you again, don't be negative, don't ask questions, give up very little about what you have been doing. If he really still cares he is going to want to know more. Don't give it to him yet, you just went through hell and you are not going to make it easy. Smile while you are on the phone. I know what you are thinking, you have got to be kidding. You want me to smile when my heart has been ripped out. Yes I do. This will remind him that once upon a time, things were good and you were great to be with. Remember, you don't want to make him feel anything negative. If and when you rekindle your romance, you can talk about things after it has progressed. Can you get him back? Maybe, but you have to play it cool.

Also I have found that when you have pain in your life, this is when you are more open to receive joy. You may be crying on a friends shoulder and they say something that just gets to you, or it may be a song on the radio. For me the sun came out after days of raining and I was so grateful. That's a bit nostalgic, but hey when you are hurting who cares what makes you feel better. Grab on to every simple pleasure you can right now. If you get him back, wonderful, if you don't you will be ok.

Had this happened to me a year ago, I would not be near as level headed about this as I am today. I had no idea that all the dating books I read would be helping me with this, but basically what I have learned is "What I will and will not accept in a relationship". As long as I stay true to that, then I will be ok as well.