Reasons Men Leave

I have heard many women ask me why did he leave me. They then wonder how he can just turn his feelings off like a light switch. I get it, it does seem this way. It's hard to see the why of it when your emotions are wrapped so tight into the pain of his leaving
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Now there are many reasons why men leave, but there are two that more times than not are at the root cause of why he left. Men don't just up and decide to leave. If he left you, he has probably had it in the back of his mind for sometime and just put off the inevitable, breaking up with you.

The first reason is women creating too much drama for him or trying to change him. Maybe you were accusing to him by telling him he never does this or that anymore. Maybe you gave him a hard time when he wanted to spend time with friends instead of you. This starts to make a man feel untrusted and men must feel trusted to thrive in a relationship. If you were giving him a lot of lip service in the form of nagging or whining, he sees it as you trying to change him. This over time wears a man down and he starts to feel less of a man. Not good.

Men tune out the drama. You can bet if you gave him lip service, he wasn't hearing your words. Men respond to actions and distance. Lip service is a waste and only drives him further away. If you are saying why did he leave me, you may want to think about how you contributed to this decision.

Another way women create drama is by believe it or not giving too much. It makes a man feel a sense of obligation when a woman is too good to him. She gives and gives and he sees it as her seeking security with him and not within herself. A woman that gives too much almost always loses the man.

  Why He Disappeared!

The second top reason is not going to make you feel any better but there is a truth in it almost always. He has had someone else spark up his interest or he is thinking that there is someone else out there who can. Yes it's thoughts of another woman, whether she is real or someone he thinks is still out there. The grass is greener concept. He is still searching for the one and he is convinced it is not you.

Why He Disappeared!

Tough pill to swallow, but rarely do men just leave for no reason. Men don't leave because they are jerks although it often feels this way. If you are wondering why did he leave me, it's rarely for no reason.

Don't be the woman that writes to me telling me her man ex is now marrying another woman. If you want him back, you best take action before this happens. You can find out the dynamics of how to get his attraction back here.

Why He Disappeared!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6438883

Why do Men Leave

When you and your guy break up there are usually some questions that race through our mind
1. What happened?
2. What did I do wrong?
3. What's wrong with him
4. Can I get him back or is it too late?

Its mind blowing when a man that seemed to be so interested in you, can one day just lose all interest in you or the relationship. It can set you in a panick. You want to fix it and you want to do it now. Here are the thoughts that are also going through your head.
1. I must call him
2. I must write, email or text him
3. If I can only give something to him
4. If I could just tell him how I feel
5. If I could just get him to talk about how he feels
6. If only he could understand me
7. If only I could understand him

These thoughts are valid, but they are thoughts the we as women feel. We relate and process this break up much differently than a man does. These thoughts do not work on a man.

The top reasons, (not the only reasons) a man leaves a woman.
1. You were too helful and accomodating (he does not want a mother)
2. You were too needy
3. You were too strong or rigid

When a man leaves you, although he may not show it, there is a lot going on in his head. We are talking about a man's heart and there is a lot going on inside that he may not be aware of, that he's trying to avoid. It is a powerful thing to turn a man's heart. He has to warm up slowly, lower his guard and let his addrenaline die down before he can wrap his mind around reconciling with you.

This takes a man time and where we make our mistake is not giving him the time to go through this process. We call, beg, plead and try to convince him. Men do not respond to words they respond to distance. If you do all of these things you are actually pushing him away because you are reminding and validating to him all the reasons he broke up with you in the first place.

This is where the no contact rule comes into play. You shut down and give him that time, but be prepared it could take weeks, sometimes longer. It rarely happens in a couple of days. We as women want to end the pain and want instant gratification, but if you really want him back you have to be more aware of how thier mind works and stop thinking about what you want right now and focus on long term goal.

There is no guarantee but nearly every man will initiate some form of contact if you have shut down withing two months of a break up. The waitng is hard, but stay busy and go on like he is not coming back. Everytime you contact him, you are pushing him further away and killing your chances of getting him back.When he does call this is your chance to turn it around. First call do not talk about the relationship or what went wrong. Be light and fun and act like you are happy. You want to replace that last memory of you being needy with a positive one and this is going to make him feel its safe enough to call again without you getting all serious on him. Your lack of emotion will set you apart and pleasantly surprise him. Be the first to end the call and limit it to a very short call, no more than 10 minutes. Also don't share any details of your life or the past, just small talk.

Now you hang up and you are wondering what he is thinking about you and you may feel you have not done enough to help him get back with you. If you are feeling this way, the good news is, you are probably doing it right. Remember the things you want to do such as talk to him, tell him you miss him, telling him how you feel will drive him farther. Therefore, if you are wondering about him, then you have probably given him enough space to wonder about you.

Now he is open and feels comfortable enough to call again, keep it light again and repeat above steps. His imagination is now running about you and he is filling in the gaps and wondering all kinds of things. This is when he will start to move back towards you and this is when you will get the opportunity to really have that conversation and tell him how you feel because he is going to ask. Its all about timing. If you can hang in there and wait it out, let him come to you, that is when he will be open to listen to your feelings.