In order to stand out from the other girls you gotta be different. In order to do this, you need to know what it is they are doing. I will list a few below.
1. They text the guy first
2. They engage in all day texting marathons
3. They exaggerate too many letters or use too much punctuation. Such as adding a dozen O's on the end of hello followed by 8 exclamation points.
4. If the guy doesn't reply to texts, they text again.
5. They are boring
The above are just a few things that most girls do. The main thing here is you don't want to come across as too available or as if you are glued to your phone. If you always reply right away, are always available and have time to engage in those all day marathons, he won't see you as very valuable. He is not having to work to get your attention. This is not good and it a sure way to kill the attraction of a guy you just met.
When texting a guy you just met, always let him send the first text. Reply, but don't jump and do it instantly, let him wait. You are a busy girl right? You aren't just sitting around waiting on him to call or text. Meet him with wit and humor but some healthy resistance. If you can end the conversation first, all the better. It doesn't feel as good to be the last one to send the text and he not reply.
Never when texting a guy you just met do you want to lay any of your cards on the table. You don't want to shower him with compliments or let on that you are into him yet. So often girls screw up right here with texting. They start laying it on thick, investing in the guy way before he has shown he is willing to return that investment. You might as well text him "Pick me, Pick me, please". Let him lead, you follow his pace with a little holding back.
Guys like mystery. They value the things they have to work for. When texting a guy you just met, if you want to get and keep his attention, be elusive, mysterious and flirty. Stand out from the other girls.
Are you making fatal blunders in your texts with guys and killing the attraction unknowingly? Learn the techniques and skills to get and keep his interests.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
No Contact and I dream of Jeannie
Today I had the T.V. on in the background. It was the very first episode of "I dream of Jeannie". I know I am telling my age, but it was interesting how Jeannie handled her "master" aka Major Nelson.
If you don't know the background to this, Major Nelson was and Astronaut and his shuttle had some sort of issue and he found a bottle where he was stranded on a deserted Island and in it was a beautiful blond Jeannie. She went home with him and sort of moved in. She traveled around the house with via smoke. She slept in her bottle though, (no sex perhaps?).
Somehow she poofed him with her to her Country where he was in danger. He had just told Jeannie who thought they were getting married, that he wasn't marrying her. He begged to go back home. When he did, she turned her back on him, smiled a little wicked knowing smile and blinked him right back home, without her of course. So women apparently knew about the no contact rule as far back as the 60's and I bet they have always known about it. The virtual world might just make it more well known now. Interesting anyway.
He landed back at home screaming her name and thanks but she wasn't there. Uh oh! He panicked. She made him suffer a little longer. He became desperate, seems he just didn't know what he had until it was gone. I think that they did marry in the end after many an episode, but one things for sure, Major Nelson always treated Jeannie really really well, but then that is because of Jeannie and her wisdom afterall.
If you don't know the background to this, Major Nelson was and Astronaut and his shuttle had some sort of issue and he found a bottle where he was stranded on a deserted Island and in it was a beautiful blond Jeannie. She went home with him and sort of moved in. She traveled around the house with via smoke. She slept in her bottle though, (no sex perhaps?).
Somehow she poofed him with her to her Country where he was in danger. He had just told Jeannie who thought they were getting married, that he wasn't marrying her. He begged to go back home. When he did, she turned her back on him, smiled a little wicked knowing smile and blinked him right back home, without her of course. So women apparently knew about the no contact rule as far back as the 60's and I bet they have always known about it. The virtual world might just make it more well known now. Interesting anyway.
He landed back at home screaming her name and thanks but she wasn't there. Uh oh! He panicked. She made him suffer a little longer. He became desperate, seems he just didn't know what he had until it was gone. I think that they did marry in the end after many an episode, but one things for sure, Major Nelson always treated Jeannie really really well, but then that is because of Jeannie and her wisdom afterall.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Should I Contact Him
Lets say you have had a few dates and he has been coming on strong. Typical right? Now all of a sudden, silence. What is going on? What would it hurt to pick up the phone and see where he is at or try to decipher his level of interest? A lot actually.
I see it all the time, the women start freaking out by a slackness in contact. The instinct is to make contact. In reality ask yourself why do you need to make this contact. Usually it is a need to control and validation. We want to be in control of the outcome of our dating lives, when in the real world we can't, so what's the point?
The rule here is if he wants to talk to you, he will. It's really that simple. He does not need reminding. He is not going to forget you. If he does, well he was not for you anyway. Let him take the lead. A man values that which he works hardest for.
Often they are testing us as well. They want to see how much we will work for them. It's what men do. They are used to the women doing all the work, it's been like this forever. Be the one who is different. This is the one that usually wins his attention and affection. He wakes up one day and that little pea brain thinks, oh I have not heard from her, she must not be that into me. This is a challenge, a man loves a challenge.
Take it a step further and don't be so available, don't always answer, wait a while and return his call. If he does not answer leave a sweet message and do not, I repeat do not text or call him again. You don't want to look desperate or insecure. Men love a confident self assured woman who is responsible for her own happiness.
Less is always more. If you find yourself asking, can I contact him, then take the high road, don't. He will probably call you if you follow this rule. It just might not be in your time frame. Remember, men don't have the same time frame as we do. Patience and strategy women. Think long term satisfaction, not instant gratification.
Women have come up with rules for contacting men for a reason. They work. If you follow the basic rules of calling and texting men, the attraction level between you and your potential mate can be heightened to great levels. Don't make the fatal mistakes that so many women make when calling and texting men.
I see it all the time, the women start freaking out by a slackness in contact. The instinct is to make contact. In reality ask yourself why do you need to make this contact. Usually it is a need to control and validation. We want to be in control of the outcome of our dating lives, when in the real world we can't, so what's the point?
The rule here is if he wants to talk to you, he will. It's really that simple. He does not need reminding. He is not going to forget you. If he does, well he was not for you anyway. Let him take the lead. A man values that which he works hardest for.
Often they are testing us as well. They want to see how much we will work for them. It's what men do. They are used to the women doing all the work, it's been like this forever. Be the one who is different. This is the one that usually wins his attention and affection. He wakes up one day and that little pea brain thinks, oh I have not heard from her, she must not be that into me. This is a challenge, a man loves a challenge.
Take it a step further and don't be so available, don't always answer, wait a while and return his call. If he does not answer leave a sweet message and do not, I repeat do not text or call him again. You don't want to look desperate or insecure. Men love a confident self assured woman who is responsible for her own happiness.
Less is always more. If you find yourself asking, can I contact him, then take the high road, don't. He will probably call you if you follow this rule. It just might not be in your time frame. Remember, men don't have the same time frame as we do. Patience and strategy women. Think long term satisfaction, not instant gratification.
Women have come up with rules for contacting men for a reason. They work. If you follow the basic rules of calling and texting men, the attraction level between you and your potential mate can be heightened to great levels. Don't make the fatal mistakes that so many women make when calling and texting men.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
One Date and He Stopped Calling
So you went on a great date, had a blast, the connection was off the chain. When you parted he said he would call. It's been days and your phone isn't ringing. What is going on?
Why He Disappeared!
It doesn't really matter what's going on, that's what. I am very active on several women's dating forums and I am here to tell you that this happens all the time. It is very very common. Men poof and vanish more than you know. What matters here is you getting your mindset straight for this dating pool you have landed in.
View each date as just an opportunity to spend time with a new friend. Try not to project anything in the future and go in with no expectations. At the early stage you just don't know. He could be dating around. He could just not be into you. Your mentality should be this. If he is not investing any effort into you, don't waste your precious time investing in him. This includes trying to figure out why.
Why He Disappeared!
Circular dating really is the way to go in the beginning. You date different guys until you find one that checks all the boxes, meaning he is willing to invest and his actions, not just his words back this. He is calling regularly, making time, making plans in advance. A guy you don't have to wonder if he is going to call or not.
If the guy is not doing these things, your mindset should be simply one word. NEXT!
I can't stress enough the value of some of these relationship books. Knowledge is power. I would not have the success I have had with dating without this knowledge. I too have had my share of Houdini. More than I can count. Now it doesn't bother me. I don't have to accept men who are not willing to put forth and effort. Why He Disappeared!
Why He Disappeared!
It doesn't really matter what's going on, that's what. I am very active on several women's dating forums and I am here to tell you that this happens all the time. It is very very common. Men poof and vanish more than you know. What matters here is you getting your mindset straight for this dating pool you have landed in.
View each date as just an opportunity to spend time with a new friend. Try not to project anything in the future and go in with no expectations. At the early stage you just don't know. He could be dating around. He could just not be into you. Your mentality should be this. If he is not investing any effort into you, don't waste your precious time investing in him. This includes trying to figure out why.
Why He Disappeared!
Circular dating really is the way to go in the beginning. You date different guys until you find one that checks all the boxes, meaning he is willing to invest and his actions, not just his words back this. He is calling regularly, making time, making plans in advance. A guy you don't have to wonder if he is going to call or not.
If the guy is not doing these things, your mindset should be simply one word. NEXT!
I can't stress enough the value of some of these relationship books. Knowledge is power. I would not have the success I have had with dating without this knowledge. I too have had my share of Houdini. More than I can count. Now it doesn't bother me. I don't have to accept men who are not willing to put forth and effort. Why He Disappeared!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
When It Comes to Men, Some Women Have It, You Can Too!
by Bob Grant, L.P.C. author of “The Woman Men Adore”
Every day in my counseling office, I hear women say some variation of this:
“In the last few years, I have had relationships with men who, at first, seemed perfect for me. They were attentive, attractive and fun to be around. Then suddenly, as if they knew they had reeled me in, they stopped trying. They stopped calling as much, stopped taking me out and basically stopped the romantic dance that couples do when they are falling in love. Was it me? After all, I think I’m attractive, have a good personality and I work out to keep my body in nice shape. So why then, do I always end up with the men who become “couch potatoes” at my house? The men who would rather bring a six pack over and watch football all day and then expect me to fix dinner? Do I suddenly turn into just a “buddy” to them, the girl next door?
I see other women who, frankly, are not as attractive as I am or as thin as I am, who seem to get the “hot” men. I don’t necessarily mean gorgeous men, but the men who take them to nice restaurants, bring them flowers, take them dancing and, basically, “court” them. What secrets do they know that I don’t, because they certainly aren’t sharing them?”
Most women think a wonderful relationship is simply about finding the right man. The truth is that those women who have wonderful relationships didn’t necessarily know where to find good men, instead they attracted them. Would you like to learn how to attract and keep a wonderful man? The best way to find out probably isn’t by talking to a woman; instead, a man would be able to give you the secrets to a man’s heart.
I’d like to share with you the secrets that men find irresistible and powerless to resist. The dirty little secret is that having a perfect body isn’t nearly as important as you have been led to believe. You can discover this incredible information by simply click here!
Every day in my counseling office, I hear women say some variation of this:
“In the last few years, I have had relationships with men who, at first, seemed perfect for me. They were attentive, attractive and fun to be around. Then suddenly, as if they knew they had reeled me in, they stopped trying. They stopped calling as much, stopped taking me out and basically stopped the romantic dance that couples do when they are falling in love. Was it me? After all, I think I’m attractive, have a good personality and I work out to keep my body in nice shape. So why then, do I always end up with the men who become “couch potatoes” at my house? The men who would rather bring a six pack over and watch football all day and then expect me to fix dinner? Do I suddenly turn into just a “buddy” to them, the girl next door?
I see other women who, frankly, are not as attractive as I am or as thin as I am, who seem to get the “hot” men. I don’t necessarily mean gorgeous men, but the men who take them to nice restaurants, bring them flowers, take them dancing and, basically, “court” them. What secrets do they know that I don’t, because they certainly aren’t sharing them?”
Most women think a wonderful relationship is simply about finding the right man. The truth is that those women who have wonderful relationships didn’t necessarily know where to find good men, instead they attracted them. Would you like to learn how to attract and keep a wonderful man? The best way to find out probably isn’t by talking to a woman; instead, a man would be able to give you the secrets to a man’s heart.
I’d like to share with you the secrets that men find irresistible and powerless to resist. The dirty little secret is that having a perfect body isn’t nearly as important as you have been led to believe. You can discover this incredible information by simply click here!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
If Only I could Understand Men
Men always say they can’t understand women, and that women are so complicated. Well, for many women, it is the exact opposite. Most would give anything to understand what makes men “tick.” Even though women want to know what he’s thinking, men are often reluctant to share what is in their hearts. What’s a woman to do?
Rather than describe all the differences between the sexes, it is often more helpful to focus on a few areas that any woman can understand.
1) Men are more sensitive than women. While that might sound silly, the truth is that men don’t have the ability to recover from emotional trauma as effectively as a woman. Because of this, men keep themselves from getting too upset. When a man hears he should just “let his feelings out,” what he translates that into is this, “If I let my feelings out, I might not be able to control them.”
2) Men hate fighting. For men, conflict is not simply resolving a problem. Fighting, to a man, means one has to win and the other needs to be totally defeated. Men often prefer conflict that is non-emotional because it is less threatening to them. Once a conflict becomes emotionally charged, it is very difficult for a man to contain those feelings and the most frequent coping skill is for them to become quiet. It may seem like they are punishing you, but they are most likely trying not to lose control.
3) Men want to get married. In spite of what many progressive cultures preach, the truth is that a majority of men in the world do get married. While the freedom of being single has its appeal, it comes with one primary drawback – it is lonely. While this might not sound overly romantic, finding a woman that a man can trust is just as important as finding one who is beautiful.
If you liked these insights, there are more available in Bob Grant’s wonderful e-book called, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.” Bob Grant, L.P.C., has taken his 17 years of private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach and condensed only the best information into a mouth-watering, powerful handbook on what men find themselves powerless to resist in a woman. You can have this information simply by clicking here.
Rather than describe all the differences between the sexes, it is often more helpful to focus on a few areas that any woman can understand.
1) Men are more sensitive than women. While that might sound silly, the truth is that men don’t have the ability to recover from emotional trauma as effectively as a woman. Because of this, men keep themselves from getting too upset. When a man hears he should just “let his feelings out,” what he translates that into is this, “If I let my feelings out, I might not be able to control them.”
2) Men hate fighting. For men, conflict is not simply resolving a problem. Fighting, to a man, means one has to win and the other needs to be totally defeated. Men often prefer conflict that is non-emotional because it is less threatening to them. Once a conflict becomes emotionally charged, it is very difficult for a man to contain those feelings and the most frequent coping skill is for them to become quiet. It may seem like they are punishing you, but they are most likely trying not to lose control.
3) Men want to get married. In spite of what many progressive cultures preach, the truth is that a majority of men in the world do get married. While the freedom of being single has its appeal, it comes with one primary drawback – it is lonely. While this might not sound overly romantic, finding a woman that a man can trust is just as important as finding one who is beautiful.
If you liked these insights, there are more available in Bob Grant’s wonderful e-book called, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.” Bob Grant, L.P.C., has taken his 17 years of private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach and condensed only the best information into a mouth-watering, powerful handbook on what men find themselves powerless to resist in a woman. You can have this information simply by clicking here.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
The commitment Phobic Men and Their Excuses
Oh we have all experience them, the commitment phobic men. They remain just out of reach. They date you, spend time with you, act as if they are in love, but they never seem to be able to commit completely to us.
They have all of these excuses. Have you heard any of the following.
1. I am not ready to be in a relationship
2. I have been hurt
3. My ex cheated on me
4. It's not you, it's me
5. My job is too demanding right now
5. My finances are not stable
6. My life is chaos
7. My kids take a lot of my time
8. When my kids are older I will be ready
9. I need more time and I will be ready
10. I love you, but the timing will be better in a year or so
These are all just excuses. A man either feels it for you or he doesn't. I and millions of other women have learned this the hard way. We have remained with those commitment phobic men for months, years, only to have him vanish and ride off into the sunset with another woman on that white horse.
Men make these excuses to keep stringing us along. They usually don't want to be alone, so we are the fill the gap girl. Men really do want to commit. They want it just as much as we do. A lot of things have to take place in the heart and mind of a man who decides to commit to you. He has to feel it to the core of his being that he does not want to be without you. If you are hearing any of the above excuses, he is not feeling this with you. Hard pill to swallow.
I will use my own story here for this. I met a man. He said all the right things. We dated every weekend, he called every day. He was respectful, but somehow I always felt a arms length away. He even told me he loved me. I stayed for over a year.
He started getting distant. The excuses started, his main one was work. It was demanding, if I could just be patient because it was temporary and would pass, things would get better. I accepted this excuse and even voiced it to others making it my excuse. I would be asked by a friend, "Are you seeing him this weekend?". I would reply, "He has to work, it's really rough on him right now." How pathetic I had become. Now I was making excuses for him. Commitment phobic men are full of excuses as to why the time is not right.
Fast forward two months. Here it comes. His contact starts to lessen. His calls become less frequent. I ask what is going on. He replies "I don't think I am ready for a relationship". He dumped me.
Fast forward 6 months. He is engaged to another. Everyone is talking about how happy he is. She is doing all the things that I didn't get to do with him. A trip to the tropics, decorating his new house, sleeping in his bed, blah blah blah.
Was he seeing her prior to our breakup? No he wasn't. He met her on a dating site which he joined days after our breakup.
I could post hundreds of stories just like mine here. Those excuses are excuses, don't let them become yours. He may or may not be one of the commitment phobic men, but it just goes to show that the commitment phobic men can commit. Apparently he just wasn't that into me. Commitment phobic men can be tamed. At the time I just didn't have the knowledge.
If you are hearing these excuses, please run and run fast, don't try to fix him, it won't work. Instead do what I did. Fill yourself with knowledge about what inspires men to commit. I started here. click here. Don't invest years only to watch one of those commitment phobic men leave you for another and in the process leave your heart in a million pieces to pick back up. Turns out my commitment phobic man really wasn't a commitment phobic after all
I have recently met a great guy who has no excuses. He puts in effort and it makes me now see how lame of a relationship I really had. It was one sided and I didn't even see it. Thank God for knowledge. Now I know.
They have all of these excuses. Have you heard any of the following.
1. I am not ready to be in a relationship
2. I have been hurt
3. My ex cheated on me
4. It's not you, it's me
5. My job is too demanding right now
5. My finances are not stable
6. My life is chaos
7. My kids take a lot of my time
8. When my kids are older I will be ready
9. I need more time and I will be ready
10. I love you, but the timing will be better in a year or so
These are all just excuses. A man either feels it for you or he doesn't. I and millions of other women have learned this the hard way. We have remained with those commitment phobic men for months, years, only to have him vanish and ride off into the sunset with another woman on that white horse.
Men make these excuses to keep stringing us along. They usually don't want to be alone, so we are the fill the gap girl. Men really do want to commit. They want it just as much as we do. A lot of things have to take place in the heart and mind of a man who decides to commit to you. He has to feel it to the core of his being that he does not want to be without you. If you are hearing any of the above excuses, he is not feeling this with you. Hard pill to swallow.
I will use my own story here for this. I met a man. He said all the right things. We dated every weekend, he called every day. He was respectful, but somehow I always felt a arms length away. He even told me he loved me. I stayed for over a year.
He started getting distant. The excuses started, his main one was work. It was demanding, if I could just be patient because it was temporary and would pass, things would get better. I accepted this excuse and even voiced it to others making it my excuse. I would be asked by a friend, "Are you seeing him this weekend?". I would reply, "He has to work, it's really rough on him right now." How pathetic I had become. Now I was making excuses for him. Commitment phobic men are full of excuses as to why the time is not right.
Fast forward two months. Here it comes. His contact starts to lessen. His calls become less frequent. I ask what is going on. He replies "I don't think I am ready for a relationship". He dumped me.
Fast forward 6 months. He is engaged to another. Everyone is talking about how happy he is. She is doing all the things that I didn't get to do with him. A trip to the tropics, decorating his new house, sleeping in his bed, blah blah blah.
Was he seeing her prior to our breakup? No he wasn't. He met her on a dating site which he joined days after our breakup.
I could post hundreds of stories just like mine here. Those excuses are excuses, don't let them become yours. He may or may not be one of the commitment phobic men, but it just goes to show that the commitment phobic men can commit. Apparently he just wasn't that into me. Commitment phobic men can be tamed. At the time I just didn't have the knowledge.
If you are hearing these excuses, please run and run fast, don't try to fix him, it won't work. Instead do what I did. Fill yourself with knowledge about what inspires men to commit. I started here. click here. Don't invest years only to watch one of those commitment phobic men leave you for another and in the process leave your heart in a million pieces to pick back up. Turns out my commitment phobic man really wasn't a commitment phobic after all
I have recently met a great guy who has no excuses. He puts in effort and it makes me now see how lame of a relationship I really had. It was one sided and I didn't even see it. Thank God for knowledge. Now I know.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
2 Things a Guy Has to Do to Make Your Relationship Work
Below is an article from Evan Marc Katz that I found very interesting and wanted to share.
You’ve been with cute, charming, charismatic men before.
What did you notice about those guys?
They’re often so caught up in themselves – in their jobs, in their egos, and in their quest for freedom and multiple partners – that they make for bad bets as boyfriends.
On the other hand, you’ve been with guys who’ve made a huge effort on your behalf. Guys who buy you flowers, text you 10 times a day, and tell you they’re falling in love with you after 2 hours together.
What did you notice about those guys?
Their efforts don’t mean anything if you’re not really interested in them. No amount of red roses are going to win you over if he’s not smart, attractive and confident.
So what does this mean for you?
It means that too many times in your life, you’ve put up with the wrong type of men: those who make no effort whatsoever and those who have no personality.
From this point forward, you’re never going to do either again.
From this point forward, you’re going to know the two things that a man MUST have for your relationship to have a chance of success.
Without BOTH of them, you might as well give up on the guy.
WITH both of them, you have every reason to be optimistic about your future.
Click here to understand men forever, and keep reading to learn to make better relationship decisions that prevent you from wasting time on the wrong men.
Do you spend most of your relationship wondering why things can’t be better, easier, more fun, more supportive. Why can’t they be the way they were in the first couple of months, you ask?
My answer: Who F-ing Cares?!
Test 1: Is this fun? Is this easy? Do I enjoy the relationship? Am I happy?
Big fat NO. It doesn’t matter if there was attraction and flirtation three months ago; right NOW, Paulina is Matthew’s emotional booty call. He keeps in touch with her regularly to have a female presence in his life, but conversations aren’t fun, lively, playful, or even interesting. What is SHE getting out of this relationship? Nothing.
Test 2: Is he making an effort?
Big fat NO. Don’t mistake phone calls for dates. A man who wants to be your boyfriend MAKES PLANS to see you IMMEDIATELY. What are you doing tomorrow? The next day? The following weekend? For Thanksgiving?
That’s what we do when we want a relationship. Anything less, you’re settling for crumbs.
So if you look at your current relationship and find yourself in inner turmoil, chances are there are one of two things wrong:
1. You really don’t like the guy that much. You like the IDEA of the guy, but you don’t actually have a fun, supportive, easygoing partner in life.
2. He’s making no effort to see you, commit to you, or grow your relationship.
Either one is grounds for dumping. If this applies to you, get started now.
If you want to get this right and NEVER make this mistake again, click here to save YEARS of wasted time on the wrong men.
You’ve been with cute, charming, charismatic men before.
What did you notice about those guys?
They’re often so caught up in themselves – in their jobs, in their egos, and in their quest for freedom and multiple partners – that they make for bad bets as boyfriends.
On the other hand, you’ve been with guys who’ve made a huge effort on your behalf. Guys who buy you flowers, text you 10 times a day, and tell you they’re falling in love with you after 2 hours together.
What did you notice about those guys?
Their efforts don’t mean anything if you’re not really interested in them. No amount of red roses are going to win you over if he’s not smart, attractive and confident.
So what does this mean for you?
It means that too many times in your life, you’ve put up with the wrong type of men: those who make no effort whatsoever and those who have no personality.
From this point forward, you’re never going to do either again.
From this point forward, you’re going to know the two things that a man MUST have for your relationship to have a chance of success.
Without BOTH of them, you might as well give up on the guy.
WITH both of them, you have every reason to be optimistic about your future.
Click here to understand men forever, and keep reading to learn to make better relationship decisions that prevent you from wasting time on the wrong men.
Do you spend most of your relationship wondering why things can’t be better, easier, more fun, more supportive. Why can’t they be the way they were in the first couple of months, you ask?
My answer: Who F-ing Cares?!
Test 1: Is this fun? Is this easy? Do I enjoy the relationship? Am I happy?
Big fat NO. It doesn’t matter if there was attraction and flirtation three months ago; right NOW, Paulina is Matthew’s emotional booty call. He keeps in touch with her regularly to have a female presence in his life, but conversations aren’t fun, lively, playful, or even interesting. What is SHE getting out of this relationship? Nothing.
Test 2: Is he making an effort?
Big fat NO. Don’t mistake phone calls for dates. A man who wants to be your boyfriend MAKES PLANS to see you IMMEDIATELY. What are you doing tomorrow? The next day? The following weekend? For Thanksgiving?
That’s what we do when we want a relationship. Anything less, you’re settling for crumbs.
So if you look at your current relationship and find yourself in inner turmoil, chances are there are one of two things wrong:
1. You really don’t like the guy that much. You like the IDEA of the guy, but you don’t actually have a fun, supportive, easygoing partner in life.
2. He’s making no effort to see you, commit to you, or grow your relationship.
Either one is grounds for dumping. If this applies to you, get started now.
If you want to get this right and NEVER make this mistake again, click here to save YEARS of wasted time on the wrong men.
Friday, August 27, 2010
So Your Guy Flakes on You
What is up with these flaky guys really? They call, come on strong, say all the right things and them poof, he vanishes. What is going on? I hear it over and over again. Girl thinks she met a great guy, he seems into her, doing all the right things and then the distance starts setting in. The calls get fewer and sometimes stop all together.
Why He Disappeared!
Often he may like you, but for some reason he is just not sure, so he does this little thing that I call placing you on the back burner. He will call just enough to try to keep you stringing along, just toss you a small crumb of hope. His hope is that it will be enough that you will jump when he does make his move again. Sad thing is, he may make his move again, but already have his escape plan and do it all over again.
So what to do with the flaky guy? Can you turn him around. Maybe, maybe not. One thing though is for sure, if you allow him to put you on that back burner, that is where you will stay. Don't encourage the flaky guy by giving into his behavior. If a guy if flaky, the best thing usually is to not accept him as a qualified candidate for a relationship. If you want to keep him around on the back burner, fine, return the favor and be a flaky girl right back.
Why He Disappeared!
Usually the flaky guys are not qualified as a partner. They are keeping their options open always thinking the next one might be better. Don't accept a flaky guy period is your best bet. Somewhere out there is a guy who knows what he wants and is willing to put in the effort to get it. Leave the flakes alone and don't settle for one. You end up doing all the work, putting in all the effort.
Don't invest in someone who is not investing in you. Never make a flaky guy your priority because I can assure you a guy that flakes on you is just making you an option. Why He Disappeared!
Why He Disappeared!
Often he may like you, but for some reason he is just not sure, so he does this little thing that I call placing you on the back burner. He will call just enough to try to keep you stringing along, just toss you a small crumb of hope. His hope is that it will be enough that you will jump when he does make his move again. Sad thing is, he may make his move again, but already have his escape plan and do it all over again.
So what to do with the flaky guy? Can you turn him around. Maybe, maybe not. One thing though is for sure, if you allow him to put you on that back burner, that is where you will stay. Don't encourage the flaky guy by giving into his behavior. If a guy if flaky, the best thing usually is to not accept him as a qualified candidate for a relationship. If you want to keep him around on the back burner, fine, return the favor and be a flaky girl right back.
Why He Disappeared!
Usually the flaky guys are not qualified as a partner. They are keeping their options open always thinking the next one might be better. Don't accept a flaky guy period is your best bet. Somewhere out there is a guy who knows what he wants and is willing to put in the effort to get it. Leave the flakes alone and don't settle for one. You end up doing all the work, putting in all the effort.
Don't invest in someone who is not investing in you. Never make a flaky guy your priority because I can assure you a guy that flakes on you is just making you an option. Why He Disappeared!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
5 Stupid Mistakes Women Make with Men
Mistake #1, you get dialing happy with your cell phone. First off a man knows it is his responsibility to make the phone calls in the beginning. He is the hunter. If you are initiating contact, making suggestions as to your next outing you are taking away his game. If he goes a few days without calling and you shoot out a text, you are telling him you are ready to invest more into it than he is. This is not really attractive.
Mistake #2, you ask about his past relationships. While you have every right to know if she is going to show up at your door with an ax, asking too many questions about his past relationships shows insecurity. He knows you are going to try to prove you are different than the ex, that's a given. Do it gracefully though by just being your wonderful fabulous self. You really don't need to give him a reminder to compare you to his ex. It may backfire on you and send him running back to her, leaving you wondering again why men disappear.
Mistake #3, you start behaving like a girlfriend before he has even decided that is where he wants to be with you. This means expecting a certain calling pattern, expecting him to put you first, just having all of these relationship expectations way to soon. We as women do tend to think more in the future, but trust me, men don't. Understand that his pace may not match yours. Don't pick up that girlfriend crown, let him hand it to you, or better yet, let him place it on your head. Acting like his girlfriend is a one of the huge mistakes women make.
Mistake #4, you put your life on hold and go into waiting mode. You wait for him to fit you in, you wait for him to call. If you find yourself in the bathroom with your phone within reach, you have gone too far. He should be the one waiting for you to fit him in. Women are the selectors in a relationship and so often we have the attitude of "pick me, pick me". He should be hoping you will pick him. A pick me attitude is another one of the big mistakes that women make.
Mistake # 5, showing him you like him by giving gifts, cards, silly text messages, etc. Again, in the beginning this is his job as a man. A true attraction killer is the woman who is giving in order to win a man's affection. It you want to win his affection, start by letting him win yours. If you are the primary giver, he will become one of the men to disappear. When a man is into you, he wants to be the one giving.
Mistake #2, you ask about his past relationships. While you have every right to know if she is going to show up at your door with an ax, asking too many questions about his past relationships shows insecurity. He knows you are going to try to prove you are different than the ex, that's a given. Do it gracefully though by just being your wonderful fabulous self. You really don't need to give him a reminder to compare you to his ex. It may backfire on you and send him running back to her, leaving you wondering again why men disappear.
Mistake #3, you start behaving like a girlfriend before he has even decided that is where he wants to be with you. This means expecting a certain calling pattern, expecting him to put you first, just having all of these relationship expectations way to soon. We as women do tend to think more in the future, but trust me, men don't. Understand that his pace may not match yours. Don't pick up that girlfriend crown, let him hand it to you, or better yet, let him place it on your head. Acting like his girlfriend is a one of the huge mistakes women make.
Mistake #4, you put your life on hold and go into waiting mode. You wait for him to fit you in, you wait for him to call. If you find yourself in the bathroom with your phone within reach, you have gone too far. He should be the one waiting for you to fit him in. Women are the selectors in a relationship and so often we have the attitude of "pick me, pick me". He should be hoping you will pick him. A pick me attitude is another one of the big mistakes that women make.
Mistake # 5, showing him you like him by giving gifts, cards, silly text messages, etc. Again, in the beginning this is his job as a man. A true attraction killer is the woman who is giving in order to win a man's affection. It you want to win his affection, start by letting him win yours. If you are the primary giver, he will become one of the men to disappear. When a man is into you, he wants to be the one giving.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Why Do Men Disappear
Guys live in the moment. If they are attracted to you, they will jump in, hope to sleep with you and worry about how they feel about you later. Women go into a date usually hoping of long term. A man is not thinking of commitment on those first dates. He is thinking about fun. A man if not seriously into you, gets distracted and missing. That is when the men disappear.
So often the woman will question him. Where is this going? When will I see you again? We even start creating romantic fantasies in our heads. Walks in the moonlight, quiet evenings together cuddling. We are moving forward, yet all of a sudden we realize they are standing still.
A man disappears when he starts feeling the woman pushing forward or sensing she may want more. He may stick around for a while and we see this as leading us on. In his mind, he is justified because he probably gave you enough hints that you ignored. Maybe he didn't call you or keep in touch that often. Maybe he even told you he wanted to take it slow. In his mind, this should tell you he is not serious and that is a hint you should take. It doesn't matter that he was a true Romeo on the dates, you should know better in his mind.
Those hints he drops that we often ignore justifies a man when he disappears. He thinks he has done nothing wrong. When a man says he is busy at work, he is not ready, the timing is bad, along with many other excuses for not stepping up, believe him. He has the potential to be one of the men who disappear.
So what should you do? What should you pay attention to when it comes to guys? How quick he makes and follow through with the next date, that's what you pay attention to. Pay attention to how you feel between dates. Do you feel confident that he will be calling, do you feel confident that he is seeing you in the future. If you are not, chances are you should listen to your gut. You may have one of the men that disappear.
So often the woman will question him. Where is this going? When will I see you again? We even start creating romantic fantasies in our heads. Walks in the moonlight, quiet evenings together cuddling. We are moving forward, yet all of a sudden we realize they are standing still.
A man disappears when he starts feeling the woman pushing forward or sensing she may want more. He may stick around for a while and we see this as leading us on. In his mind, he is justified because he probably gave you enough hints that you ignored. Maybe he didn't call you or keep in touch that often. Maybe he even told you he wanted to take it slow. In his mind, this should tell you he is not serious and that is a hint you should take. It doesn't matter that he was a true Romeo on the dates, you should know better in his mind.
Those hints he drops that we often ignore justifies a man when he disappears. He thinks he has done nothing wrong. When a man says he is busy at work, he is not ready, the timing is bad, along with many other excuses for not stepping up, believe him. He has the potential to be one of the men who disappear.
So what should you do? What should you pay attention to when it comes to guys? How quick he makes and follow through with the next date, that's what you pay attention to. Pay attention to how you feel between dates. Do you feel confident that he will be calling, do you feel confident that he is seeing you in the future. If you are not, chances are you should listen to your gut. You may have one of the men that disappear.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Why You Should Not Text With a Guy All Day Long
Other than the obvious that you are getting nothing accomplished what does it hurt to have one of those marathon texting adventures with a guy? You are really connecting and it seems like he must really like you if he keeps texting, and that may very well be the case. Have you ever been in one of those marathons and he just cut if off, or stopped replying? There is no mystery, no allure in an all day texting marathon. He knows he has you hooked. He also may get the clue that you don't have much of a life.
When texting a guy, less really is more. It's best to save something for later. Leave him wanting more. Be the first to exit the conversation. If you are texting a guy all day, he is eventually going to get bored. He is also going to see you as very available. You don't want him to see you this way, guys love a challenge. When texting a guy, go back and forth a few times and stop.
When texting guys, remember this, often they are testing you. They want to see how into him you are. If you will go along with his all day marathon, he knows you are really into him. This tells him you are pretty easy. It makes you a good target as a back up girl. Ever been texting a guy all day and then a few weeks later he rarely is in any contact at all. Had you slowed it down and made him work harder from the beginning the chances are fewer that he will vanish later down the road.
Constantly texting a guy is not attractive. At the moment if feels good. You are getting instant gratification. Wouldn't you rather have long term satisfaction. When texting a guy, keep this satisfaction goal in the back of your mind, always.
Texting if done skillfully can be a huge turn on in dating. It can build attraction. If done wrong though, it can just as easily kill it. Do you know how to use this skill to your full advantage? If not, you should.
When texting a guy, less really is more. It's best to save something for later. Leave him wanting more. Be the first to exit the conversation. If you are texting a guy all day, he is eventually going to get bored. He is also going to see you as very available. You don't want him to see you this way, guys love a challenge. When texting a guy, go back and forth a few times and stop.
When texting guys, remember this, often they are testing you. They want to see how into him you are. If you will go along with his all day marathon, he knows you are really into him. This tells him you are pretty easy. It makes you a good target as a back up girl. Ever been texting a guy all day and then a few weeks later he rarely is in any contact at all. Had you slowed it down and made him work harder from the beginning the chances are fewer that he will vanish later down the road.
Constantly texting a guy is not attractive. At the moment if feels good. You are getting instant gratification. Wouldn't you rather have long term satisfaction. When texting a guy, keep this satisfaction goal in the back of your mind, always.
Texting if done skillfully can be a huge turn on in dating. It can build attraction. If done wrong though, it can just as easily kill it. Do you know how to use this skill to your full advantage? If not, you should.
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