How To Play a Player

Players or masterful pick up artists are popping up every where. It used to be that some men were just natural born players and had women falling at their feet. Now these techniques are being taught and actually practiced out in the field by these gurus all over the world. They take the guys into weekend bootcamps and teach them all about a woman's hot buttons and how to push them to score. The produce printed online material in the form of ebooks. Thing is these techniques work on unsuspecting women.

The number one website for guys to learn to be a pick up artist was created by Nick Savoy.  Nick is globally recognized in the pick up artist arena.  I did a one one one very candid  interview with Nick and you can listen to it on my website here at lovegirltalk.  He really takes you into the mind of a player. 

So can you play a player and turn the tables? Absolutely. It's not for the faint of heart though or the insecure woman who falls too hard to fast. To play a player, you need to leave your emotions out of it in order to trigger his.

Players are not just smooth talkers. They use human nature to their advantage. The we all want what we can't have is one of the best used tactic or the take away. They pay you attention, then ignore, back and forth. If you just met him out, he is back and forth with you. He may get up and approach another woman. This increases his value. If other women want him, it does tend to spark your attraction.

If you have been dating him, he more than likely contacts you strongly for a day or so, then stops. Back and forth he goes. There are times he probably won't answer your text, only to text you a few days later and attempt to meet up.

He is training you like pavlov's dog is what he is doing. When he is with you he makes you feel so good. Then when he is gone, you crave his attention. He goes into vanishing mode and while you can't find him, you are wanting to see him. He reappears, you are swept away with relief and the cycle starts again. The relief being the trigger for pavlov's dog. He just set you up.

So how do you turn the tables with this man? Think of a cat. Know how you dangle that string in front of a cat and he bats at it, tries to get it in his teeth? Then you pull the string away, and he lies there swagging his tail waiting to do it again.

Think though about the attention span of this cat. A spider walks by and he forgets all about the string...for a moment. Once he ate the spider, he comes back.

If you are going to play a player, you have to stand out from the other girls that fall into his games.  Most girls just get swept away by this silver tongued devils.  You attitude has to be one of I can take you or leave you.  You do not say this or speak your attitude, but you show it with your actions.  It could easily be in what you don't say as to what you do.  You be the one who doesn't whine and ask silly questions like "When will I see you again".  Not asking this question alone is powerful.  All the other girls ask him this and now he wonders why don't you.

Players can also get sex about anywhere.  So sex to them is not the way to their heart, but I am sure it won't hurt to have a few tricks up your sleeve or know some arts of pleasure that other women simply just don't know.  You can find more about male pleasure here.

Playing a player takes patience. The best way for me to explain it further is by example, my own.

I have frequented the same establishment for a few years. The players come and go. In May of 2010 in walks Don Juan. I smile at him and that's it. Turn my head back and focus completely onto my girlfriends. He moves on, but noticed my lack of interest.

He comes back week after week, I may speak politely, but just shrug him off. He picks up numerous girls during these weeks by the way. He tries the lack of interest on me, but I am not interested. He is now very interested, because you see, he wants what he can't have.

July, yes July, I decide to make the move. He is so curious by now, he doesn't know if I just have a bitch shield up or what. He goes to the bathroom, walks right by me. I back my stool up a bit where he is in my line of vision, and lay in wait. He walks out the bathroom, I catch his eye and don't break the stare. By the time he reaches me, I say one little sentence. Well Hello (call him by name), and smile.

What has happened over those weeks is my degree of value has gone up. I don't jump like the others did, therefore he sees me as valuable. He has also seen that he isn't the only one that doesn't manage to pick me up. No easy girl here. If you are an easy girl that doesn't grasp how to be hard to get, well this isn't for you, he won't see value in you.

The results of this. We dated for six months, the tiger turned into a pussy cat and yes I broke his heart. Not bragging on this, but it happened. That though is another post.

If you are going to play a player, you need to understand the concept behind hard to get. It's not what you think. Hard to Get is a state of mind.

Update here on June, 2013.  Me and this player are living together now and he is true blue and faithful to me.  He comes home everyday after work, he adores me.  He fooled around and fell in love.  A player reformed!  Players can be had, oh yes they can!  

How To Find Love Online - Step One

Online dating is fast catching on to be an effective method to finding love. The thing that so many women miss is step one. Step one is commit to it. I mean finding love is pretty serious business, so why would you not commit to it. So many women go into it thinking they will just try it out. They get discouraged because they don't get results as quickly as they would like. Have you forgotten that most things worth having are worth working for.

Find The One Online

That being said, if you signed up for 30 days, you can't be too serious or committed to it. This is going to take longer than 30 days more times than not. It could be 6 months or a year. If you signed up for a free site, expect it could take longer.

For starters, a paying site is going to attract more commitment minded men. If a man has invested into this, chances are better he is committed to finding love online as well. I visualize the men on the free sites eating chips laying on the sofa watching tv. I am sure there are quality men there, but the chances are higher on a paying site.

Find The One Online

No point denying that finding love is not a large part of our world. We were created to desire a partner. We are searching for the right partner and it should be taken serious. If you are looking for that perfect job, you don't expect to find it right off the bat do you? No you go on interview after interview and you invest into it. You buy that power suit, you polish your resume, you prep for it and keep trying. Why should searching for love online be different?

It takes commitment. It takes perseverance. It also takes skill. I keep thinking about my friend who had 42 first dates with 42 different men before she found love online. It took her about 8 months, but what a journey she had. Unlike most women, she committed to it and did not give up.

Committing to it is step one. It's like with anything, a diet, a career, going to school, if you want results and you want to find love online, you have to commit fist. Anything less is just pointless.

I have recently started dating again online. I am in month 3. I have not found love online, but I am relentless in my efforts. I invest a specified amount of time, I send a specified number of ice breaker emails out and I reply to emails as well. I have tweaked my profile and changed things around if I am not getting the results I desire. It's a trial and error thing.

There are many techniques that can be learned to increase your chances, such as having an expert write your profile or learning how to build attraction through your emails. It's not as cut and dry as you would think it is, but that is another blog post.
Find The One Online

How To Keep Your Boyfriend Interested

How do you keep him interested in you become his girlfreind is really not that difficult. I think we get scared because of past experiences. Most of us have been dumped or just had a man disappear on us. It's not fun, that is for sure, but it doesn't mean every man will do this. Still you can take preventive measures to keep him interested in you.

Think about when you first met. What was it about you that he found so exciting. One of the biggest mistakes women make is they change after they get the guy. The fun flirty girl he first met just vanishes. Guys like fun girls, so if you are going to keep him interested, you have to remain the fun girl. Leave the drama behind.

Second fatal mistake women make is trying to change him. They start making suggestions to him how to do things or what he should be doing. Some women even try to change their boyfriends style of dress. Men crave acceptance. If you try to change him, he isn't going to feel very accepted.

Whatever you do, don't mother him. That means no bed time check ins, no doing his laundry or trying to hard to please him. This is not why he chose you for a girlfriend I am sure. Men like sexy women and if you start acting like his mother, you aren't going to be very sexy to him.

If you are going to keep him interested, and you insist on doing domesticated things for him, involve him in it. If you are cooking dinner for him, make sure he is present when you are doing all the work. Don't just do it and have him over to eat. Let him see you in action, and it doesn't hurt to look sexy while doing this. I once had a man tell me I was so sexy with my hair everywhere and covered in flour. Let him participate and experience these things with you, don't do it all for him.

If you are wondering how to keep your boyfriend interested remember this. Men love to be needed. I don't mean as an emotional sounding board. They like to do things to help you, they are fixers. Let them. It makes them feel important and makes them feel like men. Let him kill the bug, change the lightbulb you can't reach, fix your dryer. Always show appreciation for these things by smiling and saying thank you.

To find out more about the women men adore, click here.

How To Get His Interest Back

Are you stressing over a man that seems to have lost interest? His calling has decreased or stopped, he doesn't text like he used to and isn't making plans with you. Have you scared him away?

Women often scare men away by making some of the most common mistakes. Did you start taking the controls of the relationship? Maybe you did the chasing by calling, texting, suggesting outings together. This is what I call trying to control the outcome or get the results you desire. Thing is, this doesn't work. If he isn't doing the pursuing, you have upset the balance. This is one of the most common man mistakes we make.

Another mistake is being clingy or demanding. Maybe you question him and his where abouts when you aren't together. Maybe you ask him to check in when he goes out without you or worse, you text him the entire time he is out with his friends. Men see this mistake as he is going to lose his freedom. Loss of freedom is huge for a man.

Did you ask him where you stand, or how he feels or where is your relationship heading? We call this having the talk and it is almost always a big man mistake. This causes the man to freak out and often results in his disappearance. Is there a man mistake eraser to fix this one? It's a tough one for sure.

Did you have a disagreement and then you sent him a long email telling him all about your feelings. When a man opens an email and sees it is a long note, his first thought is, oh boy, she is going to talk about her feelings and tell me everything I did wrong. Nine times out of ten, his preconceived ideas about the email will cause him to miss the point, not to mention he may see you as a love sick school girl.

Whatever man mistake you made, your first instinct is to fix it. You think, if I could just explain, if I could just get him to understand we could work this out. The fact of the matter is, it's all about timing. If you try to force the issue too soon, you may just blow it for good. It's best to take a deep breathe, and don't act when your emotions are all over the place.

You emotions are what got you into this, they aren't going to get you out. Before you get out your man mistake eraser, let the emotions settle down. You will see things more clearly once you have calmed. These things are not often solved over night.

I can remember a time when I tried to force a man to hear me out. In hindsight, had I just waited a week or so for him to calm down, not to mention me, I probably could have salvaged it. I didn't though, I pushed and pushed and by doing so, I pushed him right out of my life. Don't make this mistake. Forcing it is not a a way to erase your mistakes.

There is a man mistake eraser, and with the right techniques, you can fix almost any screw up.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5983896

Men and Texting

Texting is easy. For men, it means less chance of feeling the rejection. They get to plan what the say and think it out. Some men these days rarely use the phone. Sad but true. A lot of the women are adapting to this. You see women everywhere with their phones texting. In grocery stores, department stores, walking or heaven forbid, driving. It's simply easier, less risky than a phone call. No one on the other end to tell you they are busy or it's not a good time. Almost zero chance of rejection.

What a lot of women don't know is these men are in with the dating gurus. There are a lot of programs out there that teach what they call an online and texting game. It's getting more and more common. In a couple of years, it's going to be common knowledge for men that they can up their texting game and attract more women. When it comes to texting men, many of them are way ahead of you here.

The truth of the matter is these taught techniques actually do work on women. They teach men how to be witty, funny and they teach them tactics that will increase your attraction. When it comes to men and texting, they are harmlessly for the most part just trying to attract more women. You really can't blame them for that.

Now some of these programs teach some techniques that aren't so nice. There is a tactic that guys use to get you to chase them. It's sort of like cat and mouse. They just stop texting you for a few days after coming on strong. Think about it, it works more times than not. The woman is used to hearing from him, then he just stops. It's human instinct to go after him.

Then when she initiates, he plays a few more games on her. If you aren't familiar with these techniques, they can hit you blind sided. Her you are on a roller coaster ride and he is just trying to get your attention. Most times, he does.

So knowing these tactics are going to become more and more common, it's fair to say you should, as a woman be prepared with a few tactics of your own to stay one step ahead. These guys are onto something, texting if done correctly, can increase attraction. So why not play the game with them and be better at it. If men are taking lessons to learn how to text women, then we need to be prepared. We need to learn how to text men in return.

Texting is the way of the future. The more prominent is becomes, the more of these guides you will see popping up. Some are very good. Attraction can build to some pretty intense levels in text messaging. The guys are jumping on this, don't you think you should catch up?

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6046419

Circular Dating Tips

Are you one of those women who only dates one man at a time to only have it not last? It seems you meet a man you like and he is all you can focus on. Then he disappears. It's common.

The key to it lies in Circular Dating or Rotation Dating. Circular dating is about not putting all your focus on one man until he claims you. It's about keeping your options open until you are sure that this one man is worth investing more of your time and energy into.

There are many variations to this dating tactic. One way is let's say you are on an online dating site. You meet a guy, and you like him. He may or may not call you back, or he may or may not see you as relationship material. You don't run home and take your profile down and start dreaming of picket fences and babies. You go home and continue to communicate and set dates with other guys. You keep your options open. You go out with him again if he asks, but you continue to meet others for coffee dates, etc...

If there is a guy you are seeing that it seems to be going well and you would like him to be your boyfriend, this type of dating is an effective tool. To circular date isn't always about seeing other men, it's about having men as friends and to do things with and having a busy life. Men can sense when you aren't putting your life on hold for them and they find it intriguing and a challenge. An independent woman in charge of her own happiness is good girlfriend material.

The key to circular dating is that you accept the first offer and not wait around on the man you fancy to hopefully make plans with you. The first offer could be dancing with your friends, going to dinner with your mom, or dying your girl friends hair. It isn't always a date. If the one you fancy does call, you don't change or alter your plans. This tells him your time is valuable and it he wants some of it, he is going to have to up his game.

This is like a magnet to men. They are challenged and see you as more valuable. They are used to women changing and rearranging plans to be with them. The woman that doesn't, gets his attention and his attraction starts to increase.

Circular dating also helps you keep your sanity for that guy that you may like that may not be as into you. If you follow the plan, well you won't really notice as much if he isn't calling. It weeds out the men that aren't boyfriend material, and attracts the ones that are.

There are many ways to circular date and many benefits.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6046601

Should I Ask Him Out

It's 2011 right? I hear that all the time from guys who ask me to call them. Does 2011 give them an excuse to be lazy? Should you ask men out?

I have an issue with this. For starters if I ask a man out, how will I ever know if he was really interested in me to start with? I won't. It just doesn't feel right to me. I mean, I still remember how exciting it is to have a guy you really like actually ask you out. Wow, what a high that is.

Another thing, has the general make up of men changed all that much just because it is 2011? Don't they still have that hunter instinct, that thrill for the chase? Has that really disappeared? I mean isn't our job to entice them, lure them and have them ask us out? I think so. Call me old fashioned, call me hard headed, but hell would freeze over before I ask men out.

Let's say I am in a club somewhere. I see a man across the bar. It seems so much more appealing to me to have him approach me first. If I get up, walk across the bar, doesn't that make me look desperate, doesn't that show me in an unfavorable light? The light of the pursuer.

Sure if you ask men out they will find it flattering, but will it do anything to enhance his attraction towards you? I doubt it. You just took away his challenge. Even if he is shy, you can bet he is constantly thinking of ways to ask you out. Once he does, he gets a high, you get a high and we are all happy. Don't deprive him of the thrill of anticipation. Anticipating asking you out. When you say yes, he gets rewarded.

I think if you ask men out, you screw with the natural dynamics. Men love a feminine woman. It's what attracts them. If you are asking him out, well you are playing the masculine role. He also knows ahead of time that you are for sure interested in him. That may be all fine and well, but do you really want him to know where you stand so soon?

Men love mystery in a woman. If you ask men out and the mystery is gone. Mystery is a key ingredient for attracting a man. It's one of the things that if you will be patient, it can compel him to ask you out instead. Don't take away his mystery. Give him something to strive for. Your job is to bait, his is to reel in.

If you want a guy to ask you out, flirting is your best course of action. If you can learn to flirt and do it well, with your body language and what you say, you won't have to ask men out.

All My Friends Are Married Or In a Relationship

Do you feel like you are flying solo in the dating world? Are all or most of your friends married or already in a relationship? Do you feel you don't really have anyone to relate to when it comes to dating? If you are the third or fifth wheel on outings, you aren't alone. Myself and many others can so relate to this.

So who do you talk to about your dating or lack of dating life? Your dog? Your cat? If you are out there dating again, the answer is as simple as logging onto an online community.

Sounds crazy huh? I thought so too. Two years ago I was heart broken and had worn all my friends out with talk of my ex. One very lonely night I logged onto the world wide web and discovered a forum with women from all over the world talking about dating, break ups, finding love, not finding love, you name it, they were talking about it.

I lurked for a week or so. Then I joined and started posting and the rest is history. In time I made many friends there. Some of them moved into my inbox and eventually I was speaking with a few of them on the phone. I even met up with 5 of these fabulous women in the fall in Atlantic City. We had a blast.

Lots of the women there have met, but more important, they found kindred spirits and friendships across the planet. Priceless. Suddenly I didn't feel so alone.

Sad thing happened though. The owner of the forum closed it down. I had become a mentor and moderator on this site. It was like heartbreak all over for me. Losing touch with these fabulous women was more than I could stand. So.....

I recreated a new one. It's bigger and better and is now up and running. Won't you join us, we would love to have you! 365daysoflove So what if all my friends are married or in a relationship. I am not alone, and you don't have to be either.

What Makes Men Fall In Love With You

What makes a man fall in love with one woman and not another? Is there a secret recipe to making a man fall in love with you? Yes, I think there is.

Women get left all the time by men. They often hear the words. "I am not eager for a relationship", or else "It's not you, it's me". Weeks, or months go by and you suddenly hear he is in a relationship or even engaged to another.. Wow, what just happened? Does she have something that you don't have?

I have heard the following phrase and it's the key to it all. Men fall in love with your absence. This is so very true. In order for a man to fall in love, he has to think about you, a great deal. If you are with him every free moment, well he might be enjoying your company, but he isn't really thinking about you.

When I say thinking about you, imagine longing. He longs to be with you. He replays the time you had together over and over in his mind. He can not long to be with you unless you are absent at times. Have you ever heard the words from a man, " I can not stop thinking about you". If you have, I bet he said it over the phone when you weren't in his company. This is the start of a man feeling an emotional attraction for you.

If you are dating a man and you see him every chance you get, if you are forever waiting by the phone or changing plans for him, you might want to rethink this. While this may work at the startor it seems, it is not what causes a man to fall for you. It isn't what propels him to commitment.What makes a man fall in love is the emotional attraction he feels for you. For this attraction to grow, you need to give him a little resistance. He needs time to yearn for you, think about you, recollect memories. These are the things that weigh on his emotions, because face it, men aren't emotional by nature.

We often propel into the future, imagining ourselves with this guy, men will not do this. It's a truth, they just do not. You need to activate his imagination to go to work for you and this can not be done by being up his behind every minute you can. You do this by not being with him every minute you can. If you are not with him, let him wonder what you are doing, even if you are only washing your hair. Love starts in the imagination of a man.

What this does is kick his hunter instinct in full gear. Men really do love the thrill of the hunt. They love competition, even if he is just competing with your girlfriends. They start to focus on attemtping to make you fall in love with them, what happens is, they fall in love with you. Men hardly ever fall in love with the woman who offered up no opposition. She is the one they sooner or later leave for another.

So this being said, when dating, it is crucial to not put your things at his place. Never see him every day. Once or twice a week is enough. Do not act like his girlfriend until he has shown you he is willing to invest into you. Have a life outside of his and be happy about it. This is what attracts a man and makes him fall in love.

Online Dating Rules For Women

The following post is by my dear virtual friend I will call Je Ne. She is very experienced with online dating as a woman and I think we all could learn from her. She found her prince online after dating 42 different men, so ladies, don't give up!

Enjoy!

Find The One Online



No, not 42 dates. It was 42 different men, quite a few of them were lucky to have more than one date with me :)

My principles in this internet dating game (and early dating in general)are:

1. it is fine to establish the very first contact in an internet dating context: just a quick light witty e-mail and let him take it from there. It is like smiling at a man in real life :)
2. screening process should be simple: only respond to the e-mails that are well written and interesting by men whose profiles are well-written and interesting and whose specifics meet your criteria (these criteria should not be too strict but no point in making it too lax either, they should be helping you, not hindering you).
3. only go on dates if a man sounds interesting and interested enough.
4. no pursuing of any description: no e-mailing first (with the very first contact being an exception); no texting first; no calling the man; no travelling for a man to meet him closer to him; for the first month or better even more, no paying for anything (I do offer and men who accepted did it at their own peril :), no presents, no cooking (read why men love bitches who make popcorn :) or any other mothering; no sentimental uha-uha of any kind.
5. your only role in the early dating stage is to be yourself, light and happy and have fun. That really is your only role.
6. actually you do have another role. It is your role to pace the relationship. Men have a habit of getting carried away and want to spend too much time together too quickly. It is your role as a woman to slow things down. If you have a busy life anyway, it isn't difficult.
7. if a man doesn't call you after a date, go meh! and don't waste any time or energy wondering why. File him into a NO box as it is not practical to date men who have been abducted by aliens :) On a serious note, be thankful that the man showed his true intentions so early and failed your 2nd tier screening before being referred to any more serious category.
8. my most important 'rule' is: adopt a mindset that the dating is about the man impressing you, not the other way round. The question is whether you like him, not vice versa. It may seem like a small thing but it shifts the balance very much in your favour and gives you the role of the Queen of the World :)
9. also, it helps to have an audit of some description of the whole process, for example a spreadsheet of all these men as you don't want to get them mixed up :)

Find The One Online

ENJOY THE WEIRD AND WONDERFUL WORLD OF INTERNET DATING!!!

In a New Relationship - This Is How You Build Attraction

The most important and impacting thing you can do in a new relationship to build attraction is to slow it down. It's hard I know. He is calling a lot, texting daily and wanting to see you. You instinct tells you to go along with his pace. If you want it to last, you need to set the pace to a slow simmer.

Think about it seriously. How many times have you or someone you knew started out full speed ahead in a new relationship and it fizzled out after the first two to three months? More than you can count more than likely. So if you are in a new relationship and already spending almost every day together and acting like a perfect couple, you might want to reconsider and keep reading this.

A man falls in love during your absence. What this means is he forms his attachments through his imagination and thinking about you. A man thinks about you when you aren't around. When you are there, he is present and with you, but he isn't really thinking about you. He thinks about you when you leave, he misses you and this is the key to building emotional attraction. It is especially effective in a new relationship when the physical attraction is so strong.

Have you ever had a man say "I can't stop thinking about you". He isn't saying this when you are with him, he is saying this when you aren't. This is the reason it's so important to pace him. Limit your time in the beginning to once or twice a week. Give him something to look forward to, something to anticipate. Anticipation tastes so sweet. The more he thinks about you the more you build on his attraction level.

Going slow really is the key in a new relationship to building emotional attraction. If you want it to last, you need to focus on long term satisfaction, not instant gratification. Going slow not only builds the attraction, it lays the foundation for a stronger relationship. It also takes that honey moon stage to higher levels.

Think about a time when you were crazy about a man and couldn't see him for a week or so. How great was it when you finally did see him? I bet you were just thrilled and so excited. The anticipation excites men, this is big in the attraction process.

Slow is better. It allows him to think about you and attach to you on a deeper level. It makes the time you are together that much better. It helps him create powerful and lasting memories to call back up and attach even more. So if you think giving him all of your spare time in a new relationship is making him care more, think again.

Review Of Evan Marc Katz - Why He Disappeared

Evan Marc Katz has a book called Why He Disappeared. This is one of the most practical, no nonsense dating books on the market about men and how they think. Katz tells it like it is as to why men disappears. He explains how men form attachments and what attracts them and keeps them attracted.

After reading this book, you will see so much of how you may have went wrong in approaching men and relationships. He explains how sometimes it's not about attracting the wrong types of men, but often more about accepting the wrong types of men.

We attract all types of men, but often we screw up by accepting them too soon. We just roll into a comfort zone with them right off the bat. They come on full speed ahead and we fall right into it. Next thing you know it feels like a relationship, yet he just up and disappears. What happened.

The way he saw it was not the way you saw it. Your perception of what was happening between the two of you doesn't match his. Men live in the moment. They are driven by sex. Most men will admit to jumping in too soon, having sex and not thinking it through or of the consequences. Instead of being hard on them, understand how to make this work in your favor.

Why He Disappeared!

Men have their escape route planned ahead of time. If they start feeling smothered or getting cold feet, they have an out. They can always say, "I never made a commitment or I never said we were exclusive". This way they hold onto the fact that they didn't really lead you on, despite if their actions told you otherwise.

Why He Disappeared!

In Evan Marc Katz's book, he tells it like it is and sheds light on why he disappeared.