Men and Text Messaging

Ok, so I work with hundreds of women and there is a huge complaint common for most of them. Why do guys insist on texting so much? Can't they pick up the phone? Some even ask you out via text. What is up with this.

The fact of the matter is it is easier for them, they get lazy. It takes that pressure of of them. Men deal with a lot more rejection than women do and this lessens the blow so to speak. If they call to ask you out, they have to be ready with an instant reply if you accept or decline. With a text, they can take a minute to think about it. Call it an easy way out, bless their hearts.

Another big reason is it shields them from the emotional drama that they assume we are going to dish out to them. When in a conversation via phone, it is easier for a woman to ask lots of questions. Questions they don't won't to hear such as, what did you do last night? Who were you with? When will I see you again? With a text message they can skip all this. Men really don't want emotional drama, they avoid it at all costs and now technology has assisted them with this plight.

So what can you do to get them to stop all the texting nonsense and occasionally pick up the phone. Direct is the best approach with perhaps a bit of humor added in. When I have been asked out via text, I reply, "dunno, why don't you call me and we will discuss it". Or suggest how much you love the sound of their voice. Talk to a man's ego and not his emotions and you can get about anything.

As far as women texting and calling men, well that is an entirely different subject.

How to Keep a Man Interested

What is it that makes a man just stop calling and vanish off the face of the earth when you thought you had such a connection. Is it something you did or didn't do? You can get and keep a guy interested in you, but it may not be what you are traditionally thinking.

Men like a challenge and an independent woman. They like the chase. Are you available every time he calls you? If so, stop. Let his imagination work for you. Try not answering one night, turn him down if he calls at the last minute. This tells him you are valuable and you value your time. This also tells him he had best value your time as well if he expects to get any of it. Men value what they work hardest for.

Men don't like to be mothered. Are you giving gifts, doing kind deeds, trying to make his life easier and be the perfect girlfriend? Do you cook him dinner, pamper him? Stop. Feed him a bag of popcorn, no bowl until he proves worthy of your gifts. Women that intrigue men don't prepay. In other words, don't give give give when he is not doing the same. He prepays, not you. He is the hunter. Let him hunt.

Do you drop everything for him, ditch your girlfriends and plans to spend time with him? Stop again. If you are doing this, he is seeing you as a doormat. You want to be his dream girl, not doormat. If you are giving up other things in your life for him, again, you are showing him that you put more value in him than in yourself. When you value yourself and your own life, he respects you. With self value, you are showing him how you expect to be treated by the way you treat yourself. This keeps a man interested.

Do you avoid rocking the boat because you fear he will lose interest or vanish? To keep a man interested, sometimes you have to rock that boat. He will sense your fear of losing him. To keep a man interested, you have to let him know in no uncertain terms that you do not fear rocking the boat, you have walking power. This keeps you slightly out of his reach and will make him work harder to please you instead of you having to work harder to please him.

Commitment Fear in Men

Hopefully you are among one of the lucky women who has never been dumped, but sometime in your life, it will happen. Chances are you have already experienced this more than once. You have probably watched your friends go through the same horror. What is this commitment fear in men?

One of the biggest mistakes that we make as women is putting the responsibility of our happiness on the man. When a man feels he has to take on your happiness he panics. It puts pressure on him to deliver and he is probably clueless how to make you happy. He may not even know what makes him happy, but one thing for sure that thrills a man is to know he can effortlessly fulfill your hearts desires.

Often we are not even aware we are projecting the responsibility of our happiness onto our man. It may be in our words or in our actions and we may not even think twice about it. The biggest thing you can do to propel a man towards you is to take your happiness into your own hands. Be who you are and be happy doing it. One of the best gifts you could give a man is to take the pressure off him by taking the responsibility for your own happiness. This takes the pressure away and he will give more freely.

These men that won't commit are often being true to their male nature -- and this often comes into conflict with women who are just being true to their female nature. Its a pattern with men. Oftentimes, neither the man or the woman is singularly at fault. It's just the eternal battle of the sexes at work. If you can understand how men process if you are the one, you can overcome his fear of commitment.

Have you been in and out of relationships, or in a relationship that seems to be stuck? There are ways to inspire a man to commit. You can become the woman who awakens that longing in him and have him as yours for life. Even the most commitment phobic men can be led to commitment.

Be His Dream Girl

A dream girl has her standards that a man must meet. She does not make rules for the man, she makes the rules for herself. She expects him to follow without ever having to voice it. If he follows, great, if not she walks. They don't measure their value by the expectations of a man, but by the expectations of themselves. She rules her own heart. A few characteristics of these dream girls are as follows

When a man tells her to call him, she knows instinctively that he does not value her. He just has her on stand by. If he were truly interested, she knows he would be calling her.

She knows the difference as to if she is an option or a priority. If she feels she is just an option she will never make him a priority.

If a man is late, she will not play mama and call him to see what happened. She will have a back up plan and not wait past 30 minutes

If he calls later with an apology, she simply says "oh I see".

She will never become a liability. She will have a full life outside of her man.

She can say no and not feel bad.

She does not argue or try to convince a man. She states her point and remains silent.

These amazing,self respecting women often become wives. They have an air aboutthem that is hard to resist and easy to respect and love. They do not do drama and sets her boundaries and stands firm. They are easy to be with, but a little hard to get. Men treasure the dream girl who is true to herself.

What do dream girls have that makes them so special? Men and drawn to them and often make them thier wives. The dream girl comes along and the good girl friend is forgotten. Learn what exactly a makes a woman a dream girl. Learn how being a dream girl gets the man.

Consider Me Gone

Consider me gone is a wonderful song by Reba McEntire that has touched thousands of women. We all relate to her heartfelt words. She sings of the break down of a relationship, the waining of communication and the distance that can grow. We often find ourselves standing at a crossroads where we have to decide if we utter those words, consider me gone.

The bottom line is this, we know somewhere inside we have to be true to ourselves. We know what we want, need and deserve. We also know if we go, we are going to suffer pain so we hold on sometimes longer than we should to avoid it. Letting go of someone you love is no easy thing to do. The road of heart break is hell. Nights of lost sleep, tears, loneliness and an empty place in your heart.

When I heard the words "If I am not the one thing you can't stand to lose", it spoke to me loud and clear. Isn't that what you want to be? You know in your gut if you are that one thing to him. Listen to your gut, listen to your inner voice and be true to yourself. Regardless of the pain, it will pass and somewhere out there is a man who will feel you are the one thing he can't stand to lose. You will never find him when you are holding onto a man who will go on with his life when you say "consider me gone".

We fear the unknown and if we walk away from our comfort zone, we feel stark naked and venerable in the unknown. Is the comfort zone the best place for you though? I think that sometimes we have to take chances and make changes. The universe is a big place and perhaps or more like probably there is something better waiting for us around the corner. If you truly are the one he can't stand to lose, he will come after you. He will go to the ends of the earth to find you. How would that feel? Wouldn't it be better to know the truth now so you can begin to live it.

Consider me gone is a beautiful song and I am sure it has touched many. There are probably millions of women riding in their cars with the radio cranked up singing along heart and soul. Be true to that heart and soul. If you aren't the one then just say it, consider me gone. If you are not the arrow to his heart, then it's consider me gone. Simple really.

I am a single woman who said those words, "Consider me gone", more to myself than anyone else. I am happy, I made it through and yes something better was waiting for me. I found me again. I found more love, peace and joy than I ever would have found had I stayed. For all of you women out there struggling, this article is for you

Should I Ask Him Out

First off when you ask him out as opposed to him asking you out, you deprive yourself of some pleasure. Personally speaking, I don't feel comfortable asking a guy out. It takes all of the fun out of it. I love that butterfly feeling I get when the phone rings. We even as grown women when a man we are into makes that call our heart falls on the floor. We forget to breathe. Then when he asks us out, we scream in delight and do a little dance. Why on earth would we want to miss that euphoria and ruin it all by having to ask him out. It kills the wonderful natural dynamics. The thrill. Do you really think if you ask a him out, he screams and does a little dance when he hangs up the phone? I just can't see it, can you?

I have a girlfriend that met a guy a few weeks ago, of course he did not call and she called me daily and asked can't I at least text him. I always said no, wait. Yesterday he called, asked her out. She immediately called me. She was screaming over and over "he asked me out, he asked me out!". When she was finally done, I said, "now wasn't that so much better than if you had asked him?" She said "yes, yes". Had she asked this guy out, she would not had that sense of victory, the knowledge that he truly wanted to go out with her. Such a great feeling and a key to laying the foundation for the rest of the relationship.

Now lets look at his feelings on this. Men like to be the hunter. They like to get what is not so easy to obtain. They are proud of their toys that they had to work for. If you ask him out, well you were easy and he had to do little work. This makes it all too easy for him and easy you don't want to be. You want to be that which he values. You want him to have to step out of his comfort zone and make the move. It's a chase. As long as you keep moving he will keep chasing, the minute you stop and be still or make his job easy, he will follow your lead and do the same. Don't ask him out, be patient and let him come to you. This also lays the groundwork for the rest of the relationship.

Now suppose he isn't asking you out. Well there is you answer right there, stop stressing over it. If he wanted to he would and if you ask him out still in spite of this, chances are good he is just going for lack of something better to do. It's an easy evening. Nothing special because it required no effort on his part. So when you think, should I ask him out, think again. Think long term satisfaction, not instant gratification

I am a single woman with an interest in helping women to date smart. I have read book after book about dating and relationships and have developed quite an understanding as to how men think. I have seen many women learn to date without drama and watched their dating life soar to success.

Will He Ever Marry You

Are you the perfect girlfriend. Do you do everything in your power to please him and gain his affection? You want to make his life easy because you love him. You may cook for him, clean, and do everything you can to please him and make him happy. Did it occur to you that this is why you don't have the ring yet. He has it all already and he knows you aren't going anywhere. Why should he marry you? What will inspire him to commit and propose to you? Will he ever marry you?

Imagine a world where the roles were reversed. Men cook for the women, do your laundry, pick up after you, and dote on you. On top of this he can't wait to get married. He owns a hope chest filled with household items and silk bow ties for his groomsmen to wear at his wedding. He greets you at the door in silk boxers and boots ready to do a pole dance for you. He looks at and remarks about every baby he see. Then he adds a few ultimatums. Where is my ring? Why can't we get married? Chances are good you would think this guy was off his rocker and you would tie up you running shoes and sprint.

Funny thing is, a lot of women use this approach to catch a husband. They are the nice girl that puts everyone else's needs before her own. She would put her man's need before her own any day because she loves him so much. It's the woman who loves herself first that men adore. They respect a woman who will not compromise her own values and life for that of a man. A man's respect is the glue that holds it together. Earn his respect and you will win his heart. It's the key to whether he will ever marry you.

The women men marry are usually the ones that don't work overtime to catch a husband. They are strong, spirited women who stand up for themselves. She won't compromise herself. This makes a man classify her as a woman with a mind of her own that he can't walk all over like linoleum. This is the woman that a man will marry.

So often we feel we have been so good to our man, we were supportive, there for him and then one day wham, he pulls away, says it's not you it's me. Months later he is involved with another woman and before you know it the not so nice girl got the man. Learn what the not so nice girl's secret really is. Learn how to go from girlfriend to wife.

Hard To Get, Easy to be With

Playing hard to get is not a game, it is simply a woman with a full life that puts herself and her needs first. This confident woman would never dream of putting anything on hold for a man. She is not the woman waiving her arms shouting "pick me, pick me". She is the woman who calls her own shots. This says "I am secure". The best way to kill a man's attraction is to be the opposite of secure which is needy and clingy. Hard to get is a positive attitude that inspires a man to fall all over himself to be with you.

A woman who is hard to get but easy to be with has shown a man that she is happy with him but can be just as happy having nothing to do with him. This intrigues him and this is when he won't leave her side. Hard to get women don't wait by the phone, they don't change plans to fit his schedule, they don't take late night calls or last minute dates. They have their boundaries and standards set and this earns his respect. She is happy in her life and a happy woman is very sexy indeed.

Think of it as you are the prize. There are different kinds of prizes. There are the ones in the cracker jack box. That is the easy prize. All they have to do to get that is open the box and dump it and there is the prize. What happens to this prize? It usually gets tossed in the trash or discarded somewhere and forgotten. If they run across this prize later down the road, chances are good they won't even remember where it came from. That is easy, not playing hard to get at all.

Then there is the prize he had to work for. His brand new BMW, or Sports Car. He had to work long hours and save for years for this prize. What does he do with this? He doesn't let anyone else drive it, he keeps it clean and under his garage, take photographs of it and treats it with love because he values it, he had to work for it.

So playing hard to get is really easy. Just live a wonderful life, put yourself first and he will follow you. As long as you view yourself as the prize, he will view you that way as well and he will enjoy putting in the extra effort, after all he wants the prize.

Dating Without Drama

So what is dating without drama? Have you ever known a lady who just seems to have it going on. She gets the dates with great guys and they treat her like a queen. She may not even be drop dead gorgeous, but there is something about her that just draws the men. Chances are she is confident and self assured. She comes across to men as a fun girl that knows what she wants and settles for nothing less. Oh how attractive this is to men. She dates without drama.

Drama in dating is when you are wondering if he is going to call. You fret when he doesn't and wonder what you did wrong. Perhaps you have been dating for a while, weeks or even months and then you feel it, that distance. Men even just disappear and you have no idea what happened. Its like they have all the controls. The truth of the matter is its the woman that always has the control, you just have to learn how to get it and keep it.

Dating with Drama is also when you are doing the calling, all the work to make the relationship last. Wouldn't it be nice to sit back and let them do the work and you just relax and enjoy all the attention they are giving you. The key here is to stop doing so much and start doing less. Less is more. When you are putting in all the effort, the man automatically knows this and he gets lazy. Why should he have to put forth any effort when you are doing it all. Put some distance there and watch him follow you to see whats going on with you for a change.

Even and existing relationship can be turned around with the right techniques. Dating without Drama is an ebook that can turn your dating and relationships around. It teaches you how to apply these principles and get rewarding results. How would it feel to have your man calling you, doing for you and giving you all the emotional support that you have always craved. How many times have you not gotten this out of the man you were dating. Its not necessarily him, but your reactions to him that cause this. Learn to change you reactions and have him adoring you and wanting to be with you and only you.

Why do Men Love Bitches

When you hear the word bitches, you think of a woman who is self centered that treats a man badly. This is not really the case. Bitch stands for Babe in Total Control of Herself. In other words, a woman who does not give all to her man until he has given her all first. A woman who does not prepay, she gets the merchandise prior to giving all of herself.

B=Babe, I=In, T=Total, C=Control of, H=Herself

So why do men marry some women and not others? What kind of woman do men marry? Women who leave the men always wanting more, always thinking there is more to her than he is getting motivates a man. Men are very competitive by nature and if they are not getting everything, they will work harder. The harder they work, the more they value the prize. You as a woman have to be the prize.

The women that give too much too soon are the ones usually left behind. The man already has it all, so what is to motivate him to make you his forever girl. If you are picking up his dry cleaning, cooking for him, doing all kinds of things to make his life easy, you are already playing wife. Why should he marry you, he already has it all. Men need motivation to take you off of the market. If you are his doormat, he will not move you onto the pedestal.

Men are inspired by mystery. If he knows everything about you already, where is the mystery? Keep some things to yourself, don't be available every minute of everyday. Have your own life outside of his. This moves him to want to find out more about you and your life and become more of a part of it. Don't be so quick to fit into his world. Hold back and let him also fit into yours. A bitch is the opposite of a doormat.



Don't be the stepping stone in his life. Learn more about why men marry some women and not others. Don't continue to be one of the others. If you have been dating for a while now and are his girlfriend, start moving him towards a lifetime commitment. Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship

Turn Your Relationship Around

Often we just don't understand men at all. So much of their behavior is just out of our grasp. We as women are emotional creatures. Men on the other hand seem to be able to just switch their feelings off over night. What makes them do this and why do they do this? They can hurt our feelings and then accuse us of being oversensitive. Have you ever heard the line, you aren't going to bring that up again are you? Its us as women trying to get them to understand us. So can how we as women understand men and learn to live in harmony with them.

A lot of the answer lies within ourselves. We set expectations as to what we need to feel loved and to have love shown to us. Setting up these expectations in turn can set us up for disappointment. Men do not always view showing love to us the same way we do. So until we truly understand men and how they relate in relationships, we will not be able to move them towards us.

The actions that we use to get what we need to feel love are often what actually pushes them away. We complain, we nag, we ask, we cry and we get our feelings hurt. While these things may get us what we want short term, the man usually goes back to his old ways soon. These things don't work, so why continue doing the same thing if it just does not get you the results of what you actually need and want. How can you and get what you need and deserve?

We don't want much really, just to feel adored and loved. Its really simple. So why don't men get it? Because they do not think like we do. They avoid emotional confrontation, Is there a better way to communicate our needs without throwing them into defense mode. Can you get what you really want and need with the man you are with now? The answer is yes. You can have the relationship you have always wanted and you can have it with a new man, your current man or maybe the one that got away.

You can understand men and how they relate to women. Understand their needs and how to get them to communicate with you on a deeper level by changing your attitude towards your relationship. If you let go of the outcome and realize you have no control over it, then you are more open to receive from them. If you can learn to show them that you will not be an emotional basket case every time they make a mistake, they will be more inclined to please you and work harder to make you happy. The first step to build a fun and exciting relationship starts with you and how well you understand your man.

Whether you are married, in a relationship, or dating, the way you communicate with men is very important. It is important that you communicate in a way that does not send them running but still get your point across and stand your ground and get what you want. If you are feeling resentment because of all of the disappointments from your relationship you can change it and you can start today. Minutes from now you can have the tools and the knowledge to turn your relationship into bliss and have the man in you life working to make you happy without you lifting a finger. Have the relationship you want and deserve. Learn to understand your man.

Love Drama-Avoid It

If you answered yes to any of these questions you are probably frustrated and often feeling hurt by the things the man in your life is doing or more likely not doing. Maybe he doesn't tell you he loves you as much any more. Perhaps the calling and texting have slacked off. He possibly does not show you the affection he used to or do the little things like hold your hand, kiss you hello, tell you how great you look and the list goes on and on.

If you are feeling insecure in your relationship because you don't know where you stand, join the thousands of other women who feel the same. We as women need reassurance and often we don't feel we get enough of it. We will start to push the men in our lives by attempting to talk to him about our fears and where we stand. Although we are doing this because we want answers and to know that we are valued and treasured by the men in our live, this approach does not work. It often can end in a quarrel and our man distancing himself or going into his cave.

Men do this because they don't like emotional confrontations and it makes them feel they are not making us happy. A man wants to make you happy, but he does not want to feel like he is solely responsible for out happiness. He see these actions of ours as warning flags of more drama to come down the road.

You can turn this relationship around, but you have to learn to date without drama.. Men love a drama free woman and these are the women that gently lead them to commitment. They move towards these women because these women know how to build that intense attraction and keep it.

I too went through all of the above issues. For years I would try to persuade a man with words or by doing more and more for them. My success with men was minimum. I got tired of being alone, I would get dates but it seemed it just never lasted. They would leave and next thing I knew, they would be in a serious relationship with someone else. This happens to all of us. I finally realized it wasn't the men in my life's problem, but that the problem was with me. I started reading books about dating and men and commitment. I learned to date without drama, and now I have met a wonderful man and am in a healthy relationship where I don't have to worry all the time about where I stand. Start turning your dating life and relationships around today. Learn how the secrets of dating without drama.