2 Things a Guy Has to Do to Make Your Relationship Work

Below is an article from Evan Marc Katz that I found very interesting and wanted to share.

You’ve been with cute, charming, charismatic men before.

What did you notice about those guys?

They’re often so caught up in themselves – in their jobs, in their egos, and in their quest for freedom and multiple partners – that they make for bad bets as boyfriends.

On the other hand, you’ve been with guys who’ve made a huge effort on your behalf. Guys who buy you flowers, text you 10 times a day, and tell you they’re falling in love with you after 2 hours together.

What did you notice about those guys?

Their efforts don’t mean anything if you’re not really interested in them. No amount of red roses are going to win you over if he’s not smart, attractive and confident.

So what does this mean for you?

It means that too many times in your life, you’ve put up with the wrong type of men: those who make no effort whatsoever and those who have no personality.

From this point forward, you’re never going to do either again.

From this point forward, you’re going to know the two things that a man MUST have for your relationship to have a chance of success.

Without BOTH of them, you might as well give up on the guy.

WITH both of them, you have every reason to be optimistic about your future.

Click here to understand men forever, and keep reading to learn to make better relationship decisions that prevent you from wasting time on the wrong men.


Do you spend most of your relationship wondering why things can’t be better, easier, more fun, more supportive. Why can’t they be the way they were in the first couple of months, you ask?

My answer: Who F-ing Cares?!


Test 1: Is this fun? Is this easy? Do I enjoy the relationship? Am I happy?

Big fat NO. It doesn’t matter if there was attraction and flirtation three months ago; right NOW, Paulina is Matthew’s emotional booty call. He keeps in touch with her regularly to have a female presence in his life, but conversations aren’t fun, lively, playful, or even interesting. What is SHE getting out of this relationship? Nothing.

Test 2: Is he making an effort?

Big fat NO. Don’t mistake phone calls for dates. A man who wants to be your boyfriend MAKES PLANS to see you IMMEDIATELY. What are you doing tomorrow? The next day? The following weekend? For Thanksgiving?

That’s what we do when we want a relationship. Anything less, you’re settling for crumbs.

So if you look at your current relationship and find yourself in inner turmoil, chances are there are one of two things wrong:

1. You really don’t like the guy that much. You like the IDEA of the guy, but you don’t actually have a fun, supportive, easygoing partner in life.

2. He’s making no effort to see you, commit to you, or grow your relationship.

Either one is grounds for dumping. If this applies to you, get started now.

If you want to get this right and NEVER make this mistake again, click here to save YEARS of wasted time on the wrong men.

So Your Guy Flakes on You

What is up with these flaky guys really? They call, come on strong, say all the right things and them poof, he vanishes. What is going on? I hear it over and over again. Girl thinks she met a great guy, he seems into her, doing all the right things and then the distance starts setting in. The calls get fewer and sometimes stop all together.

Why He Disappeared!

Often he may like you, but for some reason he is just not sure, so he does this little thing that I call placing you on the back burner. He will call just enough to try to keep you stringing along, just toss you a small crumb of hope. His hope is that it will be enough that you will jump when he does make his move again. Sad thing is, he may make his move again, but already have his escape plan and do it all over again.

So what to do with the flaky guy? Can you turn him around. Maybe, maybe not. One thing though is for sure, if you allow him to put you on that back burner, that is where you will stay. Don't encourage the flaky guy by giving into his behavior. If a guy if flaky, the best thing usually is to not accept him as a qualified candidate for a relationship. If you want to keep him around on the back burner, fine, return the favor and be a flaky girl right back.

Why He Disappeared!

Usually the flaky guys are not qualified as a partner. They are keeping their options open always thinking the next one might be better. Don't accept a flaky guy period is your best bet. Somewhere out there is a guy who knows what he wants and is willing to put in the effort to get it. Leave the flakes alone and don't settle for one. You end up doing all the work, putting in all the effort.

Don't invest in someone who is not investing in you. Never make a flaky guy your priority because I can assure you a guy that flakes on you is just making you an option. Why He Disappeared!

5 Stupid Mistakes Women Make with Men

Mistake #1, you get dialing happy with your cell phone. First off a man knows it is his responsibility to make the phone calls in the beginning. He is the hunter. If you are initiating contact, making suggestions as to your next outing you are taking away his game. If he goes a few days without calling and you shoot out a text, you are telling him you are ready to invest more into it than he is. This is not really attractive.

Mistake #2, you ask about his past relationships. While you have every right to know if she is going to show up at your door with an ax, asking too many questions about his past relationships shows insecurity. He knows you are going to try to prove you are different than the ex, that's a given. Do it gracefully though by just being your wonderful fabulous self. You really don't need to give him a reminder to compare you to his ex. It may backfire on you and send him running back to her, leaving you wondering again why men disappear.

Mistake #3, you start behaving like a girlfriend before he has even decided that is where he wants to be with you. This means expecting a certain calling pattern, expecting him to put you first, just having all of these relationship expectations way to soon. We as women do tend to think more in the future, but trust me, men don't. Understand that his pace may not match yours. Don't pick up that girlfriend crown, let him hand it to you, or better yet, let him place it on your head. Acting like his girlfriend is a one of the huge mistakes women make.

Mistake #4, you put your life on hold and go into waiting mode. You wait for him to fit you in, you wait for him to call. If you find yourself in the bathroom with your phone within reach, you have gone too far. He should be the one waiting for you to fit him in. Women are the selectors in a relationship and so often we have the attitude of "pick me, pick me". He should be hoping you will pick him. A pick me attitude is another one of the big mistakes that women make.

Mistake # 5, showing him you like him by giving gifts, cards, silly text messages, etc. Again, in the beginning this is his job as a man. A true attraction killer is the woman who is giving in order to win a man's affection. It you want to win his affection, start by letting him win yours. If you are the primary giver, he will become one of the men to disappear. When a man is into you, he wants to be the one giving.

Why Do Men Disappear

Guys live in the moment. If they are attracted to you, they will jump in, hope to sleep with you and worry about how they feel about you later. Women go into a date usually hoping of long term. A man is not thinking of commitment on those first dates. He is thinking about fun. A man if not seriously into you, gets distracted and missing. That is when the men disappear.

So often the woman will question him. Where is this going? When will I see you again? We even start creating romantic fantasies in our heads. Walks in the moonlight, quiet evenings together cuddling. We are moving forward, yet all of a sudden we realize they are standing still.

A man disappears when he starts feeling the woman pushing forward or sensing she may want more. He may stick around for a while and we see this as leading us on. In his mind, he is justified because he probably gave you enough hints that you ignored. Maybe he didn't call you or keep in touch that often. Maybe he even told you he wanted to take it slow. In his mind, this should tell you he is not serious and that is a hint you should take. It doesn't matter that he was a true Romeo on the dates, you should know better in his mind.

Those hints he drops that we often ignore justifies a man when he disappears. He thinks he has done nothing wrong. When a man says he is busy at work, he is not ready, the timing is bad, along with many other excuses for not stepping up, believe him. He has the potential to be one of the men who disappear.

So what should you do? What should you pay attention to when it comes to guys? How quick he makes and follow through with the next date, that's what you pay attention to. Pay attention to how you feel between dates. Do you feel confident that he will be calling, do you feel confident that he is seeing you in the future. If you are not, chances are you should listen to your gut. You may have one of the men that disappear.

Why You Should Not Text With a Guy All Day Long

Other than the obvious that you are getting nothing accomplished what does it hurt to have one of those marathon texting adventures with a guy? You are really connecting and it seems like he must really like you if he keeps texting, and that may very well be the case. Have you ever been in one of those marathons and he just cut if off, or stopped replying? There is no mystery, no allure in an all day texting marathon. He knows he has you hooked. He also may get the clue that you don't have much of a life.

When texting a guy, less really is more. It's best to save something for later. Leave him wanting more. Be the first to exit the conversation. If you are texting a guy all day, he is eventually going to get bored. He is also going to see you as very available. You don't want him to see you this way, guys love a challenge. When texting a guy, go back and forth a few times and stop.

When texting guys, remember this, often they are testing you. They want to see how into him you are. If you will go along with his all day marathon, he knows you are really into him. This tells him you are pretty easy. It makes you a good target as a back up girl. Ever been texting a guy all day and then a few weeks later he rarely is in any contact at all. Had you slowed it down and made him work harder from the beginning the chances are fewer that he will vanish later down the road.

Constantly texting a guy is not attractive. At the moment if feels good. You are getting instant gratification. Wouldn't you rather have long term satisfaction. When texting a guy, keep this satisfaction goal in the back of your mind, always.

Texting if done skillfully can be a huge turn on in dating. It can build attraction. If done wrong though, it can just as easily kill it. Do you know how to use this skill to your full advantage? If not, you should.

He Said He Needs Space! Watch Out Girl

When he says he needs his space, what is he thinking? Usually when a guy says he needs his space, he doesn't mean from his buddies or others in his life. When he says this, he usually means he needs space away from you. He is feeling smothered, maybe you are being too clingy or needy. Worst case, another woman has caught his eye. This does happen and a lot. A woman who is not clingy and needy and does not try to monitor him, a cool girl.

When a guy needs his space, often it's just a nice way to let you down easy. If you try and cling to him, ask him what he is thinking, and why, it pushes him away even more. When a guy says he needs his space, the best thing to do is give it to him. Holding on tighter will only drive him away more. You probably really won't know exactly what is going through his head so no need wasting energy to figure him out.

If he needs space, he may very well be evaluating your relationship. Deciding if this is what he wants or not. He may be in that freak out mode right before commitment. How you handle his request is crucial. It can be the difference of going to the next level or breaking up. A guy wanting space is usually contemplating a split, a permanent one and wants to try it on for size, so watch out, get prepared.

Don't go into wait mode or tell him you will be there when he makes up his mind. This just lets him know he has the controls of the relationship. Doesn't seem quite fair when you are now feeling out of control. When a guy says he needs his space, this is a time to put a plan into action to bring him closer. This is not done by holding on tightly, but by letting go.

There are women out there that are adored by their men. These women never hear the words, "I need my space". They instinctively know how to handle these men and how to get what they want from a relationship. Instead of letting another woman take your guy, learn how to be the women men adore and have him forever.

Why He Didn't Call When He Said He Would

So he said he would call. Funny, your phone isn't ringing. He didn't call. There could be many reasons. First let's look at a guys timing. If it's only been a few days, he may still call. Some guys follow that 3 day rule before they call, they don't want to seem desperate. Some of them wait a week or more, but be careful of this guy. More than likely if he has waited a while, he sees you as an option and not someone he is urgently wanting to get to know.

If he got you number though and never called, chances are good he was just in the moment. Guys live in the moment. At that moment, you were right in front of him, having a good conversation and he asked for your number. Later when the moment has passed, he thinks again and may decide it's not a good idea. He could have a girlfriend or already be investing time with another woman. Don't take it personally if he didn't call when he said he would call. It's nothing you did that caused him not to call.

A lot of times when a guy doesn't call we start wondering. Did he lose my number? We start making up all of these ridiculous excuses for him in our heads. Stop it girl, if he didn't call, swallow the pill, the he may not be that into you pill. Whatever you do, don't call him please. This will upset the balance terribly as you become the one chasing.

When you give a guy your number, the best thing to do is set no expectations, don't go getting all excited. Next week or maybe even tomorrow another guy will get your number. Don't stress over why he didn't call, even when he said he would. Remember, guys live in the moment and in that moment, he probably really was planning on calling, he still might call down the road, we just never know.

Why You Should Not Call Men You Just Started Dating

You haven't even started or are in the first stages of dating. It would be so easy to call or text him, but be careful, this can send of some unattractive signals to the new potential man in your life.

For starters, if you call men, you send of the signal that you are very available. This is not really how you want a guy to see you. I hear so often, but what if he thinks I am not interested? If you want to show interest, do so when he calls you by being fun and flirty. You do not want to show more interest than he is showing. Not good.

Guys really will call you if they are interested. If your phone is not ringing or is not ringing consistently, say every few days, he is just not that interested. If you call men who are not calling you, you are investing more into it than they are. You become easy target to be a back burner girl or a back up girl.

How you handle the phone techniques in the beginning is crucial. Texting and phoning is a huge dating tool today. If you are the one doing the initiating when you call men, you are taking over his role as the hunter. While some men are flattered that a woman is chasing them, it rarely lasts because he is deprived of his natural born instinct to do the chasing and hunting. Let him lead. It's really best to not call the men until you are more into a stable relationship.

Texting should be handled the same way. Let him initiate, you just follow his lead and match his level of commitment. It gets difficult, we get impatient and want to speed things up and so we call men. Huge mistake. A man's time table and priorities are very different from a woman's. If you are the one that will call men, how do you ever know his true level of interest? You won't. Relax and be patient. It is such a good feeling to know the guy is into you without you having to prod.

Flirty Texting Techniques That Will Have Him Dying to See You!

Men are attracted to mystery, allure, and a challenge. These can all be captured in your flirty text messages and build the attraction unbelievably. To create mystery you have to remember it is sometimes what you don't say that says the most. In other words when texting, don't always answer his questions direct, be evasive, but friendly. This is a very successful technique in building mystery.

Response time is also a good way to build up the attraction. if you always reply right back, you become predictable. Don't be predictable, wait before you reply. Depending on the message a couple of hours won't hurt. Then when he finally does get your reply, which of course is going to be light and flirty, you better believe he is going to pay it more attention. Presto, you got his full attention. Think long term satisfaction girls, not instant gratification.

Less is always more in texting. I have to mention the perpetual texter. The one that replies right back or texts all day long. Do you really think guys find this attractive? Maybe it's good for a quick fix for a few weeks, but trust me, it won't go long term.

Playing on words is also a great way to send flirty text messages. You can be a little evil with this, yet he can't come right out and say you were being evil. For example, he texts you a yes or no question. Your answer "I moist say no". I guess you could call it subliminal talk to the penis. That really is exactly what it is. Learn to do this, and it gets his/her attention. Subtle yet sexy flirty text messages.

Stop Being a Clingy Girlfreind or You May Lose Him Forever

A clingy girlfriend holds on too tight. If you want to stop being a clingy girlfriend you have to let go of your grip and give him some space. Signs of a clingy girlfriend are wanting to know where he is, who he is with and what he is doing. Calling him often and showing up at his place or where he is at is also signs of being a clingy girlfriend.

We cling out of fear. This behavior does stem from fear. You fear losing the guy or losing control. You hold on tight to try to keep him, not realizing that you are in fact pushing him away. You want things to go a certain way and in order to try and control how things go, you cling. First thing to realize in order to stop being clingy is that you really can't control the outcome in the big scheme of things. He is either going to stay or he is going to leave eventually. Your chances of him staying are far greater if you can learn how not to be a clingy, otherwise, you take the chance he will leave you for another girl sooner or later. Happens almost every time.

Guys see the clingy girls as a lot of work. The start to feel responsible for her happiness and this is a huge responsibility for a guy. It starts the fear factor working in their minds, fear of loss of freedom. Loss of freedom is a huge fear for guys and clingy girls is a sure threat to that freedom. So often the guy ends up dumping the clingy girl and goes looking for the cool girlfriend, the one who makes life less hassle and more fun.

The best way to stop being a clingy girlfriend is to get a full life of your own. Don't center your world around his. When you have your own agenda and life, you start to need him less and as a result, stop being clingy. Guys fine independent women wildly attractive. It gives them something to work for. A clingy girl is no challenge, she will always be around holding on. Guys do like a challenge and a girl who has her own life is a challenge. Be this girlfriend, stop being a clingy, needy girlfriend.

Clingy behavior often is a result of insecurities. Learn how men think and what attracts them the most and it is not a clingy girlfriend. Start making changes now, don't wait until it's too late and you lose him to the arms of another less clingy, cool girl who gets it.

He Won't Propose, Boyfriends That Won't Commit

Often, they get comfortable. They have all of the benefits of marriage with no threat to take away their freedom. Men fear a loss of freedom and sometimes this is the driving force that keeps them from commitment. What has to happen here is they have to have a bigger fear of losing you. The fear of losing you has to be greater than their fear of lost freedom.

He won't propose because he thinks things are fine the way they are. If it's not broken, why fix it? As a girlfriend, you probably give a lot into the relationship. They often take this for granted. They get confident that you are not going anywhere. When they get to this point girl, you better watch out. Don't let it get to that point. If he does you better get to work fast before some woman who keeps him on his toes comes along.

Go from Girlfriend to Wife!

If your boyfriend won't propose and it's been year chances are that he won't, not unless you take drastic measures. I am sure you know you can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results. It may be time to lite a fire under his butt. You don't do this with words though. You do it with actions. Men do not respond to words, as you probably already know. I imagine you have talked until you are blue in the face and still your girl friend crown has not been replaced with a diamond. Men respond to distance and perhaps it's time to put a little of this to work. You boyfriend won't propose with you doing the same thing.

If he won't propose, it is discouraging. Your biological clock may be ticking, you may be wondering if you are wasting your time and should you move on. You may be scared to rock the boat because you might just lose him. Let go of that fear and start to work. Men do want a commitment but they have to be inspired to do so and being the perfect girlfriend isn't cutting it is it.

Learn what it takes to make a man commit. Don't risk losing him to another because you can't inspire him to propose. If he hasn't done so yet, learn what leads him to feel you are the woman he can't live without.

Why Men Break up with Women

I read about it every day. Women wondering what are the reasons men break up with women. How do they just shut if off like a light switch? What is he thinking? We wonder how he could just fall out of love so fast.

There are many reasons men break up with women, but the main common denominator is this. They just aren't feeling like you are the one. They don't have enough burning desire to make you theirs. It takes a lot of things to create this desire. They have to feel safe, trusted, loved, but not smothered. They have to feel they are still free beings to commit.

Usually the underlying reason that men break up with women is they start to feel responsible for the happiness of the woman they are involved with. She starts expecting more, wanting to know where she stands. This tells a man loud and clear that she is letting him dictate the relationship and that she is dependant on him for the outcome. A woman who does not need a man for her happiness is much easier to be with, much easier to feel safe with.

Many women make a career out of being dumped. They may last a few weeks, months, maybe even a couple years but the ending is always the same. If women would take the time to learn how men really think, they could break this pattern and stop being the one who is dumped. When a man tells a woman "it's not you, it's me". He means it is you. Isn't it time to figure out why?

Learn what attracts and keeps a man's desire burning for you. Stop watching them move onto another woman and wondering why. Learn to be the woman men adore.