Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Men and Text Messaging

Ok, so I work with hundreds of women and there is a huge complaint common for most of them. Why do guys insist on texting so much? Can't they pick up the phone? Some even ask you out via text. What is up with this.

The fact of the matter is it is easier for them, they get lazy. It takes that pressure of of them. Men deal with a lot more rejection than women do and this lessens the blow so to speak. If they call to ask you out, they have to be ready with an instant reply if you accept or decline. With a text, they can take a minute to think about it. Call it an easy way out, bless their hearts.

Another big reason is it shields them from the emotional drama that they assume we are going to dish out to them. When in a conversation via phone, it is easier for a woman to ask lots of questions. Questions they don't won't to hear such as, what did you do last night? Who were you with? When will I see you again? With a text message they can skip all this. Men really don't want emotional drama, they avoid it at all costs and now technology has assisted them with this plight.

So what can you do to get them to stop all the texting nonsense and occasionally pick up the phone. Direct is the best approach with perhaps a bit of humor added in. When I have been asked out via text, I reply, "dunno, why don't you call me and we will discuss it". Or suggest how much you love the sound of their voice. Talk to a man's ego and not his emotions and you can get about anything.

As far as women texting and calling men, well that is an entirely different subject.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

How to Keep a Man Interested

What is it that makes a man just stop calling and vanish off the face of the earth when you thought you had such a connection. Is it something you did or didn't do? You can get and keep a guy interested in you, but it may not be what you are traditionally thinking.

Men like a challenge and an independent woman. They like the chase. Are you available every time he calls you? If so, stop. Let his imagination work for you. Try not answering one night, turn him down if he calls at the last minute. This tells him you are valuable and you value your time. This also tells him he had best value your time as well if he expects to get any of it. Men value what they work hardest for.

Men don't like to be mothered. Are you giving gifts, doing kind deeds, trying to make his life easier and be the perfect girlfriend? Do you cook him dinner, pamper him? Stop. Feed him a bag of popcorn, no bowl until he proves worthy of your gifts. Women that intrigue men don't prepay. In other words, don't give give give when he is not doing the same. He prepays, not you. He is the hunter. Let him hunt.

Do you drop everything for him, ditch your girlfriends and plans to spend time with him? Stop again. If you are doing this, he is seeing you as a doormat. You want to be his dream girl, not doormat. If you are giving up other things in your life for him, again, you are showing him that you put more value in him than in yourself. When you value yourself and your own life, he respects you. With self value, you are showing him how you expect to be treated by the way you treat yourself. This keeps a man interested.

Do you avoid rocking the boat because you fear he will lose interest or vanish? To keep a man interested, sometimes you have to rock that boat. He will sense your fear of losing him. To keep a man interested, you have to let him know in no uncertain terms that you do not fear rocking the boat, you have walking power. This keeps you slightly out of his reach and will make him work harder to please you instead of you having to work harder to please him.