He Says He Needs Space - Are You Losing Him

Usually when a man says he needs his space it is a warning sign that something doesn't feel right with him. He may feel smothered. He may feel fear at the loss of his freedom. One thing is for sure though, if a man says he needs his space, you best give it to him or you very well may lose him for good.

The worst thing you can do when a man says he needs his space is to hold on tighter or try harder to convince him that you are the one for him. This just reinforces the fact that he is smothered, you may be controlling and he may indeed have the urge to run. Most times when a man says he needs his space, you are about to lose him.

For a man to fall in love with you, he needs to think about you and to think about you, he needs to miss you. If he said he needed space, well he sure isn't missing you is he? If he said he needs his space, you can rest assured you have been around too much. Maybe you are calling him, wanting to know what he is doing. He sees this as checking up on him and a huge threat to his freedom.

Here is a true story about how a woman gave a man his space by accident and turned her relationship around. Sherry and Matt had been dating for about 6 months. Matt started calling less, and the distancing himself. After she asked him several times what was going on, he finally told her he needed his space. She was distraught. He was losing interest. She was sure she was losing him. Fact is, she later found out, she was in losing him.

As fate would have it though, Sherry got a contract with her employer where she had to go out of town for weeks at the time. From her hotel room, her phone got poor reception. She couldn't call him and he couldn't call her. She had no choice, she gave him his space. It was killing her. She wanted to talk to him, convince him that it could work.

Why He Disappeared!

Funny thing happened. Matt wasn't hearing from Sherry much anymore. He started wondering if she had moved on. He started missing her. He started thinking about her. She came home for the weekend and they had a great time. Monday though, she had to leave again. This time Matt made arrangements of a time they could talk. Space? Matt forgot all about how he needed his space. The distance between him and Sherry reignited his attraction for her.

Why He Disappeared!

What happened here is that Sherry wasn't always available anymore. This made him start thinking about her. A man can't think about you if you are always around. To fall in love, a man has to think about you. If your guy says he wants his space, and you don't want to lose him for good, give it to him. Allow him to miss you. Don't be one of those women who are wondering why he disappeared.

Why He Disappeared!

He Says He Doesn't Want a Relationship -What to Do

One thing is for sure when he says he doesn't want a relationship something is wrong, he's not feeling it for some reason. You probably have a million questions for him. You want to know why. Is there someone else? Does he want to date other women? Is it something you did? Can you fix it?

The fact of the matter is you can't convince a guy to be in a relationship with you. He has to feel it and words won't make him feel it for you. Maybe he just got scared, who knows, but when a guy says he doesn't want a relationship with you, for the moment, you have to believe him. The more you question, convince, bargain, the further away you will push him.

It's a good chance that he felt smothered, or he felt you were getting too serious too fast. Maybe you were acting too much like a girlfriend before he was ready. Men like a challenge. If he was coming on strong and you just fell right into the role of couple hood, his challenge may have ended too soon and he became bored.

The last man to tell me he didn't want a relationship with me I believed him. How you react to this can determine if he will or will not come back around. If you hold on tighter, he is not going to ever be yours. When I was told that, I was prepared. I felt the distance before hand. I replied in agreement, not what he expected. He expected drama.

When he says he doesn't want a relationship, agree with him. Tell him that you understand, he can't help what he does or doesn't feel. Yes, you are disappointed, but you deserve a man who does know what he wants and a man who is able to be in a relationship with you. Thank him for his honesty and letting you go to find what you deserve, then shut him down. Go no contact.

This will get his attention. He is used to women trying to fix it, not a woman who is taking care of her own heart. His respect for you will shot through the roof. I know this is hard, but it's the only way to get his attention, do the unpredictable. Let him walk away, and you do the same with feminine grace.

What happens during this no contact stage is he starts wondering what you are doing. Did he not mean that much to you? His imagination becomes your best weapon if you want him back. The mystery is back, you are once again a challenge. The last man that told me this and I agreed and gracefully walked away stayed gone for over a month. He did come back. I didn't keep him, but that's not the point is it?

When a man tells you he isn't ready for a relationship or he doesn't want a relationship, what he really usually means is he doesn't want a relationship with you. You haven't ignited that spark in him to compel him to commit.

Why Men Disappear After The First Few Dates

It happens, more than you know. You meet a man, have a date or a few dates, it seems great, then poof, he drops off the face of the earth. He becomes another one of the men that disappear.

You are left wondering what happened. You wonder is it something you did. You are familiar with the line "It's not you, it's me", I am sure. Well if this keeps happening to you, chances are good it is you. You may be doing something you aren't even aware of that makes men disappear.

Often women meet a man they really like and they start to stress. Will he call? Does he like me? Is he thinking long term? Is he dating others? Your mind goes into overdrive. Men can pick this up on their radar if you are stressing over them, even if you don't voice it. They know you are reading too much into it. It puts pressure on the man and this is one thing that makes men disappear.

Men live in the now. They don't go out on one date and start to visualize the future. Women often do. They start seeing couple-hood. They start behaving like a girlfriend way to soon. They obsess if he doesn't call, and start asking their girlfriends what does it mean when he says such and such. If you are analyzing his every word and every move, you are stressed and not living with him in the now. If you want to stop experiencing the men that disappear, learn to live in the present with him. Forget about where it's going and enjoy the time you are together.

Another thing women do when they start that stressing, is they start trying to control the outcome. If he hasn't called her in a few days, she picks up the phone and calls or texts him. She may even suggest they do something together. Slow down girl. The fact of the matter is men love a challenge. You can't stop a man from disappearing by holding on tighter. This is when it becomes not so fun to the guy. He is now worried about meeting your expectations. When he has to worry this soon, he thinks about what it may be like down the road. This is what makes many men disappear.

If you have just had a few dates with a man, and you want to keep him, relax and go with the flow. Enjoy his company and let him lead. A few dates does not make a relationship. If you start acting like his girlfriend or expecting boyfriend behavior from him this soon, chances are good he will be one of the men that disappear.

If He gives You His Number and He Tells You to Call Him

Those two words, "call me", can screw with your head. If you like the guy, of course you want to believe this means he is interested in you and really wants you to call him. You may be thinking he wants you to call so he can make a date. Call me is what guys say often when ending a conversation. It's about the same as, talk to you later or see you around. It's usually said casually and you can bet if a guy says this, you don't have his interest sparked. So what do you do, should you call a guy if he asks?

When a guy says call me, usually it means he may find you attractive and if you call he may talk to you, but it's not something a guy says to a girl who he is very very interested in. If a guy is really interested, he won't ask you to call him, he will be calling you. The only exception to this is if you have been dating for a good while and he asks you to call him. If you have just met or started dating though, he is far from hooked on you yet.

A lot of women take this "call me" literally. They latch on and start calling the guy. This makes them the one doing the pursuing. It tells the guy that you are way more invested into him than he is in you. He sees a woman ready to put the girlfriend crown on and often this causes him to stop all contact and run for the hills.

When a guy says call me, what he usually wants from you is not much. He can live with or without your call. If you do call, you will be setting yourself up as a girl on the back burner. That's what guys do with the girls that do the calling for the most part. They don't see them as a challenge and no challenge means you won't be girlfriend material more than likely.

If a guy really wants to get to know you, he will be the one doing the calling, he won't be asking you to call him. When a guy tells you to call, the best thing you can do is don't. Let him wonder why you aren't so into him. This makes you more of a challenge and more attractive in his eyes. Less is more when it comes to calling men.

Texting a Man You Like

You finally met a man you really like. You hope he feels the same way. You instinctively want to reach out and touch him. What would it hurt to send a man a short little text, let him know you are interested.



Well slow down sister. If you gave him your number, he should know you are interested. When texting a man you really like, you might want to think about the texts you send to the men you really aren't all that interested in. Have you ever experienced a man you weren't that into being really into you. Why was that? How did you text him?

Chances are, you didn't always text him back or waited before you text because you really didn't care about the outcome. Oh but boy oh boy, now you like a man and you do care about the outcome. A huge reason why these other men were into you is because you were a bit hard to get. Men instinctively want what they can't have. So in essence, when texting a man you like, text him like you don't.

I am not saying you should play games here. Just don't be over eager, or don't be too available. Men value what they work hardest for. Don't answer instantly, that makes it look like you are waiting by the phone and have no life. Don't text him first, this shows him are starting to invest into him. Let him lead. Let him invest first.

It's tempting sometimes to get into the all day marathon of texting a man you like, but try to refrain, save that for when the relationship is more established. You want to give him a reason to see you. If you spill all in texting conversations, he won't be as motivated to see you. If you see your texting with a man heading into the marathon, cut it off. Tell him you have something to do and you will talk to him later. Be the first one to end the conversation. Leave him wanting more.

Less is always more when texting men. You want to be fun and mysterious. Men love the woman they can't quite figure out. Texting is fun and if done right, can build a huge level of attraction in him for you.

Signs He's in Love -Signs He's in Lust

A man falling in love will usually go that extra mile, put in that extra effort. Below are some distinct differences as to if he is in love or just in lust for the moment. So are you a priority or just an option?

Man in Love

* drives out of his way to get you
* calls you everyday
* shares his daily life with you
* will want to see you even when you look like hell
* makes sure he locks you down for weekend time,maybe all weekend
* introduces you to friends
* takes you to weddings and events as his date
* is present when things are tough
* fixes things on your car and around the house
* takes you out on dates and public places
* chooses you over seeing his friends any day
* gives up things to spend time with you, maybe a ballgame with the guys
* answers your calls, always happy to hear from you

The list above are just a few signs a man is in love or falling in love. He will get up at the crack of dawn to help you out, like drop your car off for repairs, take you to the airport, things like that. He puts his comfort on hold to make sure you are comfortable. He sincerely wants to make your life better and make you happy.

Man in Lust

* Expect you to drive out of your way to see him
* Calls you sporadically
* Life? You don't know much about his life, you know where he works, but that's about it.
* He has never seen you at your worst, he isn't around enough
* If he sees you on the weekend, it's last minute and not planned in advance
* You don't know much about his friends, maybe met a few by chance
* Goes to events solo or with the guys, you aren't invited
* If things are tough he usually isn't around
* He doesn't know when something is broken to fix or says, you need to call a plumber
* He meets you places, or at his place or yours, there are no real dates
* Parties with the guys a lot, calls you after he has been out for a while to meet up
* Says maybe he will see you when the game is over
* doesn't answer your calls all the time and is sometimes short with you on the phone.

If it's an effort for you to get your man to put in time or you feel like you have to do all the planning to see him, it's a sign he may just be in lust. A man in lust not in love puts his comfort first, unless you two are together at the time, then he may shower you with attention. If you aren't hearing from him when you are apart, this is a sure sign he isn't hooked yet. He doesn't see you as valuable as he sees himself.

If you really pay attention to a man's actions, you can see the signs he is in love. He puts in the effort and you know you are a priority. There are no days of silence, you aren't guessing where you stand. If a man isn't in love, maybe only lust, he doesn't put in extra effort, just the bare minimum to keep your attraction going. In other words, a man in love sees you as valuable and treats you like you are special.

Make Him Feel Like a Man and Draw Him Closer

Women today are more independent, we don't really need a man. It leaves a gap there, men do like to feel needed. It makes him feel like a man when you lean on him. He wants to be your hero, so below are some small things you can do to make him feel like a man. You get the idea.


* Ask him to walk you to your car. You need him to keep you safe.
* Ask him to kill all bugs. Look away when he does this.
* Get him to open a jar or lift something for you
* If you are watching a scary movie, bury your head in his chest during the bad parts
* If it's cold outside, ask him to warm your side of the bed
* Let him move any heavy piece of furniture
* Let him park your car or back it out of a tight place. Tell him he is a better driver.
* Any light bulbs you can't make it known you want him to change them
* Have him get rid of the wasp nest on your patio
* Get him to pump your gas
* Request that famous steak or burger he grill so well. Tell him you are craving it.

In essence what I am saying is appreciate him and the little things he does. Don't go overboard though. If he takes you to dinner, thank him, tell him you enjoyed it. Once is enough, you don't want to act like this is your first hot meal in years.

Praise him also. If he does something that makes you happy, tell him. If he takes out your trash, say, wow, thanks, I really didn't want to walk to the dumpster in the dark. Praise goes a long ways in making a man feel like a man and feel appreciated.

Affection is also a good way to make him feel like a man and make him want to be closer to you. Affection is also a good way to show appreciation. If he does something nice for you, smile and give him kiss or a hug. A warm receptive woman makes a man feel like a man and will bring him closer to you.

While men do love the independent woman, the one who doesn't depend on him for her happiness and center her world around him, they do want to feel needed. A man who feels needed will be more likely to open up to you and move closer. Independent women are great, but a ball buster type woman who does everything for herself and doesn't need a man isn't what he is looking for.

Before a Man Commits - 3 Things You Must Give Him

If you want commitment, you will have to deepen emotional attraction so that your man makes his decision from his emotions - feelings of being intoxicated by how you are responding to him. There are 3 things that he must have from you before a man commits. These three things will solidify his emotional attraction. These things assist to make a man commit.

Affection - Men need affection, they love it. This doesn't mean hanging all over them in public. Now men really are known for not being as affectionate as women as a rule, but that doesn't mean they don't desire it. Reciprocation is the clue. He puts his arm around you, lean in. He reaches for your hand, accept it warmly. Plant a little kiss on him, but again, don't go overboard. Some men don't do affection well while others are more open with it. Affection though, shows him you are attracted to him. Every man wants to be found attractive. Don't we all?

Know your man and his level of affection. Match it, but don't always wait for him to make the first move. If you are in a comfortable relationship though, break out of the routine every now and again and show him affection. Less though is often more. Don't smother him.

Appreciation - This is huge. For him to feel emotional attraction, he has to feel appreciated. The more a man feels appreciation, the more he will be inclined to do things to make you happy. Thank him for the things he does, but again don't go overboard. If he takes you to dinner, tell him you enjoyed it, thank him. Once is enough. If he does something for you, say change your oil, thank him. Tell him how nice it is not to have to go out in the cold and wait for an hour.

Don't underestimate appreciation. I have a friend who dumped his girl for this reason alone. He would do things for her and she would complain. He bought her white roses and she thanked him, but questioned his love because they weren't red. He gave her a funny birthday card, she wanted a mushy one. The list goes on and on. She was too much work. Appreciate what he does, men do show you they care, you just have to pay attention. He has to feel appreciated, it's a key ingredient before a man commits.

Acceptance -This is the big one. He has to feel you accept him for who he is before a man will commit to you. This means not trying to change him. Men fear women who try to change them. No man is perfect, they all have flaws. Embrace his flaws as a part of who he is and accept them, unless of course he is abusive or an addict, but that goes without saying right?

If he likes his space at times or likes a night out with the boys watching sports drinking beer, don't nag him to change his agenda or whine because you are left out. Accept it, thus accepting him. When you accept a man, it conveys to him that you trust him. A man has to feel your trust before he commits to you.

What Makes a Man Fall In Love

For a man to fall in love, he has to feel it in his heart, to the core of his being that life without you would just be awful. A lot of women give more to a man and make a lot of sacrifices and think this is going to win his heart. That's not it. It's not really about what you give, but more so in what you hold back. Trust me, men don't sit around and think about all the great things you do for them. They think more about the things they don't know about you. This is what propels them to want to know more. The more a man thinks about you, the more likely he is to fall in love.

It's the woman that puts her heart first that intrigues him, the woman that he respects. The doormat or the yes girl rarely wins his heart, it's the woman that doesn't think twice about telling him no, the woman that puts her needs first that makes a man fall in love with her. This is incredibly alluring to men. It's a challenge and puts them to work to win your heart.

When a man has to put in the effort to win a woman's heart, he starts to see her as very valuable. Men value what they work hardest for. Have you ever seen a man go above and beyond for a woman. Usually if you really think about it, he is doing this for a woman who chances are, is not doing the same for him. You wonder why is he with this selfish woman. Chances are she isn't selfish, she just knows who her self really is.

The woman that bends over backwards and tries to be his helper is the woman that will be taken for granted and he won't fall in love with her. He might love her, but it will be more like a sister or mother type love. A woman who has her own life, and doesn't depend on him for her happiness is the woman that he feels safe to let his guard down with, the woman that he opens his heart to. This woman is the one that can make a man fall in love.

He loves Me, He Loves Me Not - Hot and Cold Men

This uncertainty is painful and frustrating. You may have a great date, the passion is out the roof, the connection feels so strong. Then poof, he vanishes for days or even weeks at a time, then comes back again. What on earth is he doing and why.

He could be keeping you on the back burner. He could be just freaking out because he doesn't want to get in a relationship or he thinks he doesn't want to. One of the main reasons why men blow hot and cold though is because we allow them to do so. We take him back as we are swooned by his words when he comes back from disappearing. A man instinctively knows this, so it tells him it's ok to blow hot and cold. If you tolerate it, he has no reason to change.

A man that blows hot and cold very well may be a man who will not be there for you when the chips are down. If he can't remain consistent during good, normal times, what will he be like if the going gets tough? Will he leave you to deal with issues alone only to resurface when things have straightened out?

If you find yourself asking or nagging him about this behavior you are wasting your breath. This doesn't work on the hot and cold man and actually can cause him to be more extreme with it. Men avoid emotions like the plague. If you ask him or keep bringing it up, he sees it as talking about feelings. Ask any man does he want to talk about his feelings. He is going to say NO, 9 times out of 10.

Trust me, he already knows he is not treating you right, he doesn't need you to remind him. That is playing more of a mother role to him and men don't fall in love with their mothers. The best way to deal with men that blow hot and cold is to step away, pull back when he goes cold. Don't let him back in so easy. This tells him you recognize his bad behavior without saying a word.

The worst thing about men that blow hot and cold is you never know where you stand. You struggle with feelings of insecurities between dates with him. You don't know if he loves you or not. When he is with you, you feel he loves you, when you aren't, you just aren't sure if he loves you not. You might as well play that game he loves me, he loves me not with a daisy.

Why He Disappeared!

Can a man that blows hot and cold love you? Can this emotionally guarded man fall in love?
Why He Disappeared!

Is He Going To Break Up With Me?

If your guy has started calling and texting less, reasons popping up as to why he can't see you, it probably has you really worried. Maybe he is short tempered to you or seems to not have as much patience as he did. You may not understand what is going on, but you know it's something. You live in fear and the thought, he is going to break up with me stays in your mind.

Usually when a man starts putting distance between you, something is going on. He could be in that freak out stage, he could be feeling smothered. One thing we know from experience though, a man often acts this way prior to a break up. When that distance enters the picture, we wait in fear for those words. "It's not you, it's me". This line is a sure sign he is about to break up with you, that's for sure, we have all heard it and live in fear of it.

One of the most common reasons why men disappear or break up with you is they suddenly realize the girl in their life is more serious than he is. She is acting like the girlfriend. Sure he gave her signs, spent time with her, told her sweet things. He seemed perfectly happy the way things were progressing. Guys though, live in the moment. When they realize the girl is seeing herself as his girlfriend and acting the part, they get scared. All of a sudden, they have to think about someone else. The responsibility can be over whelming.

At the time maybe he was. Men fear a loss of their freedom. If they now realize they may have to consider your feelings prior to doing things such as hanging out with their buddies, they start to freak. They think, uh oh, she is going to start to try to control my life, thus he losses his freedom. A man's freedom is important to him and if he feels that is threatened he may be on the verge of breaking up. It's one thing they miss the most if they are in a relationship.

One thing you don't want to do is hold onto him tighter or push him to talk about it. This just sets him back more. Men don't deal with emotions very well. If you get all emotional on him, it just validates the reason why he should break up with you in his mind. The best thing you can do when you are in fear and can't stop asking the question, "will he break up with me", is give him that space. There are a lot of dynamics going on in a man's mind at this point and your behavior can make or break this. It can determine whether he feels safe to continue with you, or if he decides to break up with you.

Don't be caught off guard and be left hurt and feeling helpless. If you guy is distant, have a plan before the break up begins.

Will He Stand Beside You or Will He Disappear

It's easy to be a relationship when everything is new, it seems so perfect. You learn something new about him every day. You text flirty text messages, you think of him all the time. You leave your weekends open because you know or you hope you will be with him. It's so great in the beginning.

Why He Disappeared!

What happens though when some of the newness wears off? What happens if something happens in your life where you can't be that fun, carefree girl anymore? What if you get laid off or a family member gets sick? When the going gets tough, does he have what it takes to stand beside you or will he be one of those men that disappear?

During rough times you are stressed and can't really give him that fun loving girl. He has to be really invested in you to stick around. Does he really want to drive you to the hospital or help you move? If you are going through a rough time, you really do need a man who stands beside you, not one of those men who disappear.

Why He Disappeared!

When we are going through hard times, this is when we need our partner the most and this is when he often pulls away. Then not only are you going through emotions with your life stresses, now you are left trying to hold onto a man who you fear will disappear. Add one more worry to your list.

The sad thing is, if he is a man who disappears, this is how he acts when he's asked to be selfless. This is how he acts when he doesn't get his way. This is how he acts when the chips are down. So why would you want to commit to a man who doesn't have the decency to put your needs first when you need him the most? Because you love him? Because you have a great time together and the chemistry is out the roof?

Why He Disappeared!

You just got a glimpse of the rest of your life. A man who doesn't support you, a man who disappears when you're at your weakest is not a man to keep. How a man reacts in a crisis says a lot about how he will behave in the future. If your man is not supportive, consider it a bullet dodged. If you stay and try to salvage a relationship with him, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointments.

Why He Disappeared!

Dating Again - Be The Leading Lady

You know the movie "Holiday" with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslette? Well when Kate gets to LA and she meets Author, they go out for dinner and he ask hers why is she here all by herself, she explains to him and starts crying sharing the heartache she has endured. Well Author tells her that she needs to stop acting like the best friend and become the "Leading Lady" in her own life.

What does this mean and how does being a Leading Lady help in dating again? It's a lot to do with attitude and how you view yourself. You are the prize, you are the leading lady. If you see yourself this way, you won't have near the drama that dating again can bring.

If a leading lady does not know where she stands she rarely has to have the talk. When her needs aren't getting met, she gracefully exits the stage. She doesn't have to come out again in hopes of an encore. She is in control. If you are dating again, being in control is critical to protect yourself.

If she has a small part in his life, she gives him a small part in hers. Nothing more. She doesn't waste much time or put consideration into small time roles. She doesn't invest more into a man than he is investing in her.

A leading lady doesn't wait around hoping she will get the part, wondering if she will be picked. She knows her worth and if she isn't recognized for it, she moves onto another film. She knows her worth and if a man doesn't treat her accordingly, her thought is "Next".

A leading lady doesn't view the parts she doesn't get as failures. She sees them as practice, auditions. A way to perfect her game. She learns from this and moves on and doesn't waste time on the parts that just didn't fit her.

Dating again can be confusing and frustrating. Many times we just want to give up. Don't, just be your own leading lady and dating again turns into an adventure.

How Evan Marc Katz Changed My Life

Evan Marc Katz is a relationship/dating coach and author of an inspiring book called "Why He Disappeared". His no nonsense approach cuts right to the bone and takes all the guess work out of dating and relationships. He is a man that communicates to women in a frank, matter of fact way exactly how men think and process a relationship.

I went through countless relationships in my past guessing where I stood with men. I would be dating a guy and suddenly he or I stopped feeling the attraction. I wondered often why men disappear. Katz explains this with crystal clarity in his book.

Why He Disappeared!

It's not always that we attract the wrong men into our lives, it's more about we accept the wrong men in our lives. We fall in love with their potential more than who they really are. They start out dating putting their best foot forward, a few months go by and they start getting distant. We stay hoping to get the man back to where he was in the beginning. Katz explains why this happens and what you can do about it.

I no longer struggle with my dating or relationships. I know what to look for and I understand a lot more how men really think. I have no doubts I will not find myself stuck and unhappy in dead end relationships anymore.

Because of Katz, I was able to let go of a man who although great it would seem, really wasn't making me happy. I held onto him for all the wrong reasons which is where this book, Why men disappear helped me.

Why He Disappeared!

I left the relationship confident and without regrets. Pain was minimum. I am not dating again and have several good candidates in the line up. I am not stressed wondering if he is going to call, will I see him, will he disappear or any discomfort.

I recommend this book, it's like the bible of relationships. If you read no other book on relationships, this should be the one. Why He Disappeared!

For more information on Evan Marc katz and his credentials View Evan Marc Katz Credibility

Finding The One Online

Online dating has been stigmatized. Many view it as unsafe and something desperate women do. This is really a shame because there are a lot of great guys out there looking for love online. Just like in real life, there will be jerks, emotional retards, commitment phobics, and guys wanting an instant relationship who are clingy and needy.

The guys online are just like the ones in real life except there are more of them to choose from. It's like shopping. Shopping is fun. It can be frustrating because so often it just doesn't fit. It's a numbers game though. The more you date, the better your chances are for finding the one online.

There is skill involved in online dating. There are things you can do to increase your chances of finding the one online. Some very simple. A few changes to your pics, profile or something as simple as the subject line in your emails can make all the difference in the world. There are ways to weed out the duds as well.

If you are frustrated and not having much luck and feel like giving up, sometimes a few changes will make all the difference in finding the one online. Rebranding yourself online is what I call it.

Find The One Online

Once you rebrand yourself online, start flirting effectively with men, and going out on pre-screened, high-quality dates each week, it’s only a matter of time before you meet your future husband.

The husband who will love you in spite of your flaws.

The husband who will listen to you after a bad day.

The husband who will take care of you, emotionally, financially, and sexually.

Without meeting men consistently, this scenario is unlikely to happen. But when you master online dating, love becomes inevitable.

Find The One Online

Okay, maybe not inevitable! But I think we can agree that one date a week will likely produce a relationship a lot faster than if you go on one ‘real life’ date every three months.

The following things would be beneficial to learn if you are going to have success in finding the one online.

* Which dating site works best for your individual needs
* The "headline/username" secret that makes your profile irresistible to members of the opposite sex!
* 5 profile strategies you can use RIGHT NOW to immediately boost the appeal of your profile.
* 2 surefire techniques to write an amazing first email that gets an eager response...
* The REAL reason why people disappear in the middle of emailing you. It's not what you think, but it'll save you hours of agonizing why your "perfect" match suddenly stopped communicating.

The absolute best online dating guide was created by Evan Mark Katz. Hundreds of women have found the one oneline by following his guidelines.

Find The One Online

Making a Man Fall In Love - The Key Ingredient

There are many things that come into play when a man is falling in love but one of the main ones is this. He has to think about you. It sounds really simple doesn't it? You may be thinking of course he is thinking about me, he is spending a lot of time with me, he must be thinking of me right? Wrong. For a man to really think about you he has to miss you. He can't miss you when you are always around.

So often men start out full speed ahead, then out of the blue he starts pulling away. Why does this happen? The main reason this happens is you did not slow him down. You jumped right on in, seeing him every chance you could hoping he would grow fonder of you. Seems logical right? Wrong again.

When you give a man too much too fast even if he does seem to be all into you, it does eventually kill attraction. For attraction to grow into love a man must feel your absence. Men aren't even aware that they need this to fall in love. If you ask him why he fell in love he is not going to say because she wasn't always around.

It also goes back to the challenge. Men love a challenge. If you are always around, seeing him everyday, the challenge is gone, he eventually gets bored. Give him some space even if he doesn't ask for it or think he needs it. When you aren't around is when he misses you and thinks of you more and more. This is the key ingredient for making a man fall in love, or should I say allowing a man to fall in love.

So next time he wants to see you several day/nights in a row, have something else to do. Wash your hair, go to a movie with a friend, take your cat to the vet, whatever. Give him that time to think about you. It's the beginning of falling in love. It's long term satisfaction you want, not instant gratification.

It's frustrating to not be sure of his depth of love for you. There are ways to naturally stir a man's heart and have him fall in love.

What Does A Man In Love Act Like - Signs He Is In Love

It's pretty simple really to tell a man is in love. He just treats you a certain way that you know you are a priority in his life. A man in love, when it comes to you he acts a certain way or does certain things he might not ordinarily do.

Its a sign a man is in love when he steps outside of his routine to accommodate you. Maybe he stays up later than normal to talk to you. He may be a night owl, but all of a sudden he goes to bed early like you do. Maybe he hates sappy movies but watches them anyway because you want to. In other words a man in love will be uncomfortable so that you will be comfortable.

If a man wants to see you regardless. Regardless if you have hovered over the toilet all night sick as a dog. He wants to see you regardless if you just crawled out of bed with no make up, in a tee shirt that has food stains all down the front. If your man wants to see you even at your worst, it's a good sign he is in love.

Has your man surprised you lately? Has he brought you a little gift, even if it's something silly like your favorite soda from the corner pantry. Has he brought you flowers or a flower? Maybe he surprised you with a candy bar, taking you to lunch when he usually works clear across town. A sign a man is in love gives to you in little ways.

A man in love talks openly in terms of "we" and does so in front of others. If he is saying we to you that is one thing, but when he does it in front of his friends and coworkers it's a sign he is in love. It's like it is perfectly natural for him when the word "we" escapes his lips.

Another sign a man is in love is he projects into the future. He talks about the things you will be doing together. Perhaps he mentions his vacation and how this year you will be included. Maybe he just mentions a concert a month or so down the road. You can bet if a man if talking about you and him in the future, he is considering you long term.

It's simple really, a man in love acts like he adores you. You can be the woman men adore and inspire him to fall in love with your feminine grace.

Will He Ever Marry Me

I was talking with a smart young woman the other day who had this problem. She had been with the same guy in an exclusive relationship for almost 3 years and he never mentioned marriage. They seemed to have a great relationship. He had keys to her house, she had keys to his. She did things for him like cook him dinner, help him clean his apartment among a lot of other things. She described herself as nice, helpful and loving. She is a great girlfriend but she still asks the question, "Will he ever marry me?".

She is wanting more and he is thinking, well it's not broken, why fix it. The thing is, she is already giving him everything he would get if they were married. He has full access to her house, her life, everything. So often we give so much so soon and then there is nothing left for them to work for. We jump in so fast and next thing you know you are in a rut and he is not moving forward. You are left wondering, will he ever marry me.

Bottom line, men value what they work hardest for. Think of a car. If he has an old car that he got for a few hundred bucks, well anyone can drive it, he probably doesn't think much about it. Let's say though he worked hard, saved his money and bought this shiny new sports car. Do you think anyone else is going to drive it? No way. He will park it at the end of the parking lot and walk so no one parks next to him and dents it. He washes it every weekend and sometimes just stands back to admire it. Why? He values it, he had to work for it.

It's the same way with relationships really. A man has to see your value and if its just handed to him, he will take it for granted. It it took some work, he is going to want to make that woman his. When a man values his woman, he will want to make her happy, she will not be asking forever, will he ever marry me.

If you are frustrated and have already given away the farm and don't know quite how to take it back, you need a plan. All is not lost, you can go from girlfriend to wife.

What To Do If You Slept With Him Too Soon

One thing you can't do is back track. You can't now expect him to accept that you aren't going to sleep with him anymore. You can't tell him it was an accident and you slipped and fell on his penis. You did if, now the first thing you have to do is own it. The way you handle yourself from here forward is critical. You act as if it's no big deal, after all, you are a grown woman. So what if you slept with him too soon. It's no big deal. Many long term relationships develop in spite of this. Sex on the first date or first few dates is more common than you can imagine.

Whatever you do, don't apologize for having slept with him too soon. This shows weakness and insecurity on your part. Men actually have a name for this. It's called Anti-Slut-Defense, also known as ASD. You don't want him to think you have no control over yourself and you don't want him to know he affects you so much. It was probably pleasurable for both parties, so no need to apologize. A guy wants to be stroked after sex, not shot down with your crying and emotions.

You don't want to call attention to the fact that you slept with him too soon. You don't want to have a discussion with him about it. Chances are if you give him the song and dance about how you just didn't mean to have sex with him on the first date or so he won't believe it anyway, so skip it. If you try to talk about it, you give him the impression that you are over thinking and he will see it as you already wanting to be his girlfriend. What ever you do, don't start acting like his girl friend now. Most all girls do this and there is a good possibility he is expecting this from you. Just because you had sex with him does not make you his girlfriend.

Now there is a chance you can become just a booty call to him if you aren't careful. There are ways to avoid this though. I call it tap dancing around. If he starts calling late at night, don't answer the phone. If he only suggest hook ups, don't go. If he wants to just hang out at his place or yours, avoid it. In other words, if he isn't willing to go out and do things that don't involve sex, just don't go. This tells him with your actions and words won't be needed. Actions are way more effective on guys than words, trust me on this.

Next date, have your escape route planned for the end of the date. A reason you have to get up early etc... Give him a passionate kiss at the end and tell him you hate it, but you gotta go. Leave him guessing and wanting more. If you had sex on the first date or too soon, don't fret, you can still get the guy.

He Texts All TheTime but Doesn't Ask Me Out

You may wonder what texting techniques have to do with this. A lot actually once you understand what builds attraction in a guy. If your guy is texting everyday but not asking you out, chances are his attraction level is not high enough. He sees you maybe as an option or someone to keep on the back burner.

Guys like a challenge, this is a fact. It's also human nature to want what we can't have. This does play into the texting. If he is texting and not making an effort to spend time with you, he very well may not see you as a challenge. If you are responding promptly to his texts, engaging in conversations every time he initiates a text or worse you initiate first, you are pretty much letting him know he already has you. No work there.

If your guy is texting and not calling or wanting to see you, it's time to turn this around. Stop answering right away. I am not saying be rude and ignore him, just wait a few hours before you reply. If he texts you something that really doesn't warrant a reply, then don't reply. You are a busy girl with a busy life and you really don't have time to chat with someone who can't seem to make you a priority.

Guys actually see a girl who is readily available as a girl acting like a girlfriend. When you start acting like a girlfriend to fast, they put the breaks on. Texting keeps you there for when they want you, but also keeps you at arm's length and keeps him safely out of a relationship. This is a huge reason why guys keep in contact texting and don't step up to see you.

If you aren't so available, it you aren't so eager to engage in his texting game, he will see you as more valuable. This is what builds attraction in a guy. Mystery is hard for a guy to resist. Your texting techniques can actually convey mystery and build attraction to higher level causing him to want to see you.

To learn how to ignite his interest and attraction via text messaging, click here..

Why Won't He Call Me?

You met a guy, maybe even spent time with him, yet he just won't call. Why do guys get your number if they aren't going to use it? There could be many reasons.

He really could be busy. Guys don't have the same time clock we do. Days to them seem like weeks to us. He may have every intention of calling but next thing you know weeks have went by. He then thinks too much time has passed and he would feel stupid to call you now so he moves on. This is one of the main reasons why he won't call. Laziness.

He could also just be a player. Getting a phone number or a date could just be a way to stroke his ego. There are guys out there like this. If he won't call you, chances are with this guy getting the number was part of the game. He just wanted to see if he could. He likes knowing there is a woman out there waiting for his call. It is an ego boost.

Some guys are looking for a fling or just sex. If he finds out you are not that kind of girl, this could be one reason he doesn't call. This guy has countless numbers in his phone. You are better off if he doesn't call.

We so often wonder why won't he call me. It's really nothing in particular that you did or didn't do. I do believe however, that if a guy wants to get to know you and is truly interested, he will call. Guys like a challenge that is for sure. If you have been calling him instead of him calling you, this is a huge reason he's not calling you. He doesn't have too. You are doing his work for him.

A guy who is attracted to you will make time in his busy life, will overcome his game playing ways or rise above his immaturity and pick up that phone. He won't not call. The trick though is you have to become that "girl" that he can't resist.

Why Is He Ignoring Me All Of a Sudden

When your guy starts ignoring you this is a warning flag. Something isn't right. If a guy is smitten with you, he is not going to ignore you. Quite the opposite, he wants to make you happy. If your guy is ignoring you he could be pulling away from you. 

First of all, one reason he is ignoring you could be a simple case of he is taking you for granted. Why though? You probably think you are being a good girlfriend.  You would do anything for him.  We women nurture by nature.  Ask yourself are you acting more like his Mother or his lover.  If you nurture him too much he may be feeling more like your child than your boyfriend.  You need to trust him to take care of himself. 

Men fear at a core level losing their freedom.  If you are clingy, insecure or needy, he may view you as a threat to his freedom.   A man needs his space and if he feels he can't get that without upsetting you, he feels he can't live his life and make you happy at the same time.  When a man feels he is no longer making you happy or that it's too much sacrifice of himself to do so, they start checking out. 

When a guy ignores you, he is usually trying to keep you at arms length.  He feels that you are more invested than he is.  He doesn't want to talk about it because he fears your emotional reaction or you creating drama, so he just goes into ignore you mode.

One thing is certain, when a man begins to ignore you all of a sudden, a pull away in in your future.  The instinct of most women is to hold on tighter, but that just causes him to pull away more.  Don't make this mistake.  Find out what to do when men pull away before you blow it for good. 

He Loves Me But He is Not In Love. What Does This Mean?

Have you ever heard those words, "I love you, but I am not in love with you"? What does he mean when he says that. When you love someone that is like a friendship type love but what is it that makes a man feel "in love" with you? The missing element here is a deep level of attraction. Attraction has to be felt by a man for him to be in love with you. You can be the most beautiful woman on the planet though and the man still can not feel the attraction. What is it that makes a man feel attraction and fall in love?

While looks and physical appearance is important and does draw a man in the beginning, it's not what makes a man fall in love with you. It's your presence. I am actually quite sure of this. You can be attractive, don't get me wrong, but I am positive without a doubt that is not the thing about a woman that can draw them in. The thing that draws them is how you make them feel with your true authentic self. It really is all about how you make them feel when they are around you, it has nothing at all to do with your appearance, that is just a door opener.

Do you make them feel safe? Safe to open up. Do you make him feel as if you accept him for who he is? Do you stir something in him that makes him want to make you his and his alone? What signal is your presence sending him?

When a man tells you he is not in love with you, he is saying he does not feel "it" with you. He does not feel that level of attraction that would keep him around and nothing you say can change this. If you try to talk him into loving you, it will never work. It will push him further away and reinforce why he isn't in love you to start with.

Men fall in love with feminine grace. They fall in love with the way they feel when they are around you. They fall in love with your essence. It's not what you do or say that makes a man fall in love.

You as a woman, by virtue of your femininity, have in your hands the delicious power to make a man fall in love with you, influence a man to your way of thinking, bring him to his knees, make him want to spend his life with you -- and want to fulfill your every desire.

To learn more of how to become the woman he not only loves but is in love with click here.

When He doesn't Satisfy You in Bed

If men love sex so much then why are so many of us women not completely satisfied in the bedroom. Are they really clueless? After 48 years and talking with hundreds of women, the answer is I think yes, most really are. Most don't understand that we are capable of so much more pleasure than they give us. I really think that is it, they just don't know.

How many men have you known that thought just because you were wet you were ready to roll? I have even had a few say "Yeah baby, you are so ready". You just want to say to them, "Slow down Boy, it ain't time yet". Or you start to breath a little heavy and they think you just had the orgasm of your life.

Now a lot of it is our own fault because we don't tell them. The sad thing though is if we do tell them, their ego is wounded and often it dampens the relationship. I can remember one man that actually broke up with me over this. I think he was terrified he could not satisfy me. I mean he asked me, "did you cum?" What was I supposed to say? I didn't, never did in 8 months. The effect of that on me for a long time was I started lying or faking. If I didn't I was scared the man would leave. Silly woman I was back then.

This really is a delicate subject and I am far from an expert on it. Rori Raye though has a new program out that is so worth checking out. It's the bomb. She will teach you how to get what you want and how to make your man feel like the king of the bedroom as well. She goes into what it is men want and how we can use this information to have deep, passionate, meaningful sex and connect with the man on an emotional level as well.

Check it out, click here.

Should You Have the Talk with Your Guy

Four of the most dreaded words for a man are, "We need to talk". His defenses start going up, he automatically assumes he has done something wrong. You might as well grab him by the balls and squeeze, he would probably prefer this actually. It beats what he thinks he is about to hear, which is drama and emotional confrontation. A man will avoid this like the plague.

First really consider why it is that you need this talk with your guy. Is it out of your own insecurity? If you have been dating years, well that may be a different story which still doesn't need a talk, more like dump him if he hasn't committed by now. If it's only been a few weeks or months, slow down girl.

Here is where we screw up as women. We start wanting more sooner than the man does. Men do not operate on our time table. We often go into it thinking of the future where they just live in the moment. We start acting like the girlfriend, not giving them the opportunity to woe us and make us their girlfriend. The attraction is killed and the man disappears. Happens all the time.

If you are trying to get more time, more of a commitment, whatever it is that you are hoping to get from the talk with your guy, chances are good it will backfire. Think about it, why isn't he wanting to have the talk with you? Why isn't he trying to get a commitment, or more of your time? If you are the one doing all of the work in the relationship, he won't feel the need to have the talk with you. He already knows he has you, that is why your boyfriend isn't having the talk with you.

With the right man you won't need to bring up the talk and there will not be an elephant in the room. You will not be wondering if and when he is going to call, how he feels or what his intentions are. The way you feel between dates is the best sign of what the relationship is like. If you feel a level of comfort, if you just know when you lay your head down to sleep at night that this man loves and cherishes you, then and only then is it right. If you wonder, guess, speculate, this guy may not be the right and having the talk with your guy will not get you anywhere.

Tables can be turned once you understand what inspires men to commit. Learn how to get what you want without the talk. Be the girl on the receiving end of that talk

Are You Obsessing Over a Guy?

You might be planning your schedule around him. You won't commit to other activities just in case he fits you in or wants to see you. You watch what you say, and how you act around him. If he does something that hurts your feelings sometimes you let it slide because you are scared you will rock the boat. If you are doing these things, you are obsessing over a guy.

He may get moody and distant. When he does you just get nicer and understanding because you want to be a good little girlfriend. You make him the center of your world because you want him to know how much you care. This is actually the thing that pushes a guy away. The way we pull a guy towards us is by lessening their importance in our lives.

Guys can sense when a girl is obsessing over them and it is not attractive. It comes across as needy. If you want to stop obsessing then you need to stop making him your top priority. Stop being so nice, stop being available every time he calls. Stop making him the center of your world and start making yourself the center of your world.

Funny thing happens when we shift the focus off of him and onto ourselves and our own lives. The guy starts to see you as more attractive. He starts to center more around you. He sees you aren't always at his command or falling all over him known as obsessing over a guy. His attraction is rekindled.

Obsessing over a guy is torture. It consumes you, takes away from your life and your happiness. The way to keep a guy is to not obsess over him. Nice girls that try to hard to make a guy love them usually lose them.

If you are obsessing over a guy and you are with him right now and feeling frustrated because he is not moving towards a commitment with you can get help here

When Your Guy Ignores You Can You Get His Attention Again?

When you are together he seems so into you. He is all over you. Then when he is not, he may not call for days or maybe even weeks. He seems to blow hot and cold. You may have just had a great date, such a connection, then your guy ignores you. What is going on and why does he do this.

We as women often try so hard to get his attention. We bend ourselves into a pretzel trying to please him. We make ourselves available to fit his schedule, we call him when we haven't heard from him. We actually start behaving like a wife long before the ring is on our finger. If you are doing this, that ring won't ever be on your finger. Being clingy, depending on your him for your validation will only cause your guy to ignore you more.

Men really do like to feel they have the woman that not every guy could get. He likes knowing he had to work for her. If your guy is ignoring you, he doesn't place value on you. A girl a guy sees as valuable is one he had to work for, not one that is always available to him.

If your guy ignores you, don't push him. No amount of talking will do it. Talking about it, complaining that he isn't giving you attention actually pushes him away. Men don't respond to words, they respond to distance. If you distance yourself from him, mirror his behavior, he will start to sense that you are no longer making him a priority. It triggers in him that maybe he might have to start working to get your attention for a change.

Think about it. Why should you be the one doing all the work to make him happy. Wouldn't it feel nice to sit back and let him do the work to make you happy for a change. This really is the way it should be. If your guy is ignoring you, this is a sign something is seriously wrong. 

Find out the real reason guys pull away.

If you aren't getting what you want out of your dating and relationships, it may be time to make some changes. Ever seen that woman who seems to get guys so easily. What does she have? What makes guys want to be with her? Find out how to inspire a man deep in his core to want you and only you. 

The Truth About Why Men Blow Hot and Cold

One reason is you allow him to do this. If you continue dating, or remain in a relationship with this man, well it tells him it's alright to treat you this way. He behaves badly, you reward him with your company. He manages to keep you on the back burner. You still wonder though why he does it in the first place, not to mention how you wonder about how he really feels about you.

I can tell you how he doesn't feel about you. A man that runs hot and cold, here one day gone the next. One day he is super sweet on the phone, the next day it's like you are a bother. This man does not see you as a priority in his life. If he did, he would be scared to death to run hot and cold. He would be scared you would be gone. A man who treats you like a princess one day and a peasant the next does not adore you and probably doesn't see you as his Miss Forever.

Guys have learned that there are a lot of women out there who will tolerate this behavior. It's the women before you that may have trained him this way. They put up with it. He learned he really didn't have to do a lot to keep a woman around. He doesn't really value these women, but mostly because they don't value themselves.

These hot and cold guys will keep you in limbo for a while, but eventually they almost always disappear. What makes them disappear usually is a woman comes along who may present them with a higher degree of difficulty or a new challenge. He moves on in search of the chase. Sad though, they often toss you a phone call or text still, just to keep you in the loop. Crumbs, just crumbs. You are best off not to bother to bend over to pick them up.

Stop Him From Withdrawing - 5 Free Tools Will Bring Him Close Again! Click Here

If your guy is runs hot and cold, it doesn't mean it's hopeless, they have been turned around. It's usually by another woman though who won't tolerate the cold. He gets intrigued and next thing you know he is in a serious relationship where he jumps through hoops for this woman and you are left wondering what does she have that you don't.

Tired of living in limbo land with Mr. Hot and Cold. Do you wonder if and when he will disappear.

Stop Him From Withdrawing - 5 Free Tools Will Bring Him Close Again! Click Here

Secrets for Texting a Guy You Just Met

In order to stand out from the other girls you gotta be different. In order to do this, you need to know what it is they are doing. I will list a few below.

1. They text the guy first

2. They engage in all day texting marathons

3. They exaggerate too many letters or use too much punctuation. Such as adding a dozen O's on the end of hello followed by 8 exclamation points.

4. If the guy doesn't reply to texts, they text again.

5. They are boring

The above are just a few things that most girls do. The main thing here is you don't want to come across as too available or as if you are glued to your phone. If you always reply right away, are always available and have time to engage in those all day marathons, he won't see you as very valuable. He is not having to work to get your attention. This is not good and it a sure way to kill the attraction of a guy you just met.

When texting a guy you just met, always let him send the first text. Reply, but don't jump and do it instantly, let him wait. You are a busy girl right? You aren't just sitting around waiting on him to call or text. Meet him with wit and humor but some healthy resistance. If you can end the conversation first, all the better. It doesn't feel as good to be the last one to send the text and he not reply.

Never when texting a guy you just met do you want to lay any of your cards on the table. You don't want to shower him with compliments or let on that you are into him yet. So often girls screw up right here with texting. They start laying it on thick, investing in the guy way before he has shown he is willing to return that investment. You might as well text him "Pick me, Pick me, please". Let him lead, you follow his pace with a little holding back.

Guys like mystery. They value the things they have to work for. When texting a guy you just met, if you want to get and keep his attention, be elusive, mysterious and flirty. Stand out from the other girls.

Are you making fatal blunders in your texts with guys and killing the attraction unknowingly? Learn the techniques and skills to get and keep his interests.

No Contact and I dream of Jeannie

Today I had the T.V. on in the background. It was the very first episode of "I dream of Jeannie". I know I am telling my age, but it was interesting how Jeannie handled her "master" aka Major Nelson.

If you don't know the background to this, Major Nelson was and Astronaut and his shuttle had some sort of issue and he found a bottle where he was stranded on a deserted Island and in it was a beautiful blond Jeannie. She went home with him and sort of moved in. She traveled around the house with via smoke. She slept in her bottle though, (no sex perhaps?).

Somehow she poofed him with her to her Country where he was in danger. He had just told Jeannie who thought they were getting married, that he wasn't marrying her. He begged to go back home. When he did, she turned her back on him, smiled a little wicked knowing smile and blinked him right back home, without her of course. So women apparently knew about the no contact rule as far back as the 60's and I bet they have always known about it. The virtual world might just make it more well known now. Interesting anyway.

He landed back at home screaming her name and thanks but she wasn't there. Uh oh! He panicked. She made him suffer a little longer. He became desperate, seems he just didn't know what he had until it was gone. I think that they did marry in the end after many an episode, but one things for sure, Major Nelson always treated Jeannie really really well, but then that is because of Jeannie and her wisdom afterall.

Should I Contact Him

Lets say you have had a few dates and he has been coming on strong. Typical right? Now all of a sudden, silence. What is going on? What would it hurt to pick up the phone and see where he is at or try to decipher his level of interest? A lot actually.

I see it all the time, the women start freaking out by a slackness in contact. The instinct is to make contact. In reality ask yourself why do you need to make this contact. Usually it is a need to control and validation. We want to be in control of the outcome of our dating lives, when in the real world we can't, so what's the point?

The rule here is if he wants to talk to you, he will. It's really that simple. He does not need reminding. He is not going to forget you. If he does, well he was not for you anyway. Let him take the lead. A man values that which he works hardest for.

Often they are testing us as well. They want to see how much we will work for them. It's what men do. They are used to the women doing all the work, it's been like this forever. Be the one who is different. This is the one that usually wins his attention and affection. He wakes up one day and that little pea brain thinks, oh I have not heard from her, she must not be that into me. This is a challenge, a man loves a challenge.

Take it a step further and don't be so available, don't always answer, wait a while and return his call. If he does not answer leave a sweet message and do not, I repeat do not text or call him again. You don't want to look desperate or insecure. Men love a confident self assured woman who is responsible for her own happiness.

Less is always more. If you find yourself asking, can I contact him, then take the high road, don't. He will probably call you if you follow this rule. It just might not be in your time frame. Remember, men don't have the same time frame as we do. Patience and strategy women. Think long term satisfaction, not instant gratification.

Women have come up with rules for contacting men for a reason. They work. If you follow the basic rules of calling and texting men, the attraction level between you and your potential mate can be heightened to great levels. Don't make the fatal mistakes that so many women make when calling and texting men.

One Date and He Stopped Calling

So you went on a great date, had a blast, the connection was off the chain. When you parted he said he would call. It's been days and your phone isn't ringing. What is going on?

Why He Disappeared!

It doesn't really matter what's going on, that's what. I am very active on several women's dating forums and I am here to tell you that this happens all the time. It is very very common. Men poof and vanish more than you know. What matters here is you getting your mindset straight for this dating pool you have landed in.

View each date as just an opportunity to spend time with a new friend. Try not to project anything in the future and go in with no expectations. At the early stage you just don't know. He could be dating around. He could just not be into you. Your mentality should be this. If he is not investing any effort into you, don't waste your precious time investing in him. This includes trying to figure out why.

Why He Disappeared!

Circular dating really is the way to go in the beginning. You date different guys until you find one that checks all the boxes, meaning he is willing to invest and his actions, not just his words back this. He is calling regularly, making time, making plans in advance. A guy you don't have to wonder if he is going to call or not.

If the guy is not doing these things, your mindset should be simply one word. NEXT!

I can't stress enough the value of some of these relationship books. Knowledge is power. I would not have the success I have had with dating without this knowledge. I too have had my share of Houdini. More than I can count. Now it doesn't bother me. I don't have to accept men who are not willing to put forth and effort. Why He Disappeared!

When It Comes to Men, Some Women Have It, You Can Too!

by Bob Grant, L.P.C. author of “The Woman Men Adore”

Every day in my counseling office, I hear women say some variation of this:

“In the last few years, I have had relationships with men who, at first, seemed perfect for me. They were attentive, attractive and fun to be around. Then suddenly, as if they knew they had reeled me in, they stopped trying. They stopped calling as much, stopped taking me out and basically stopped the romantic dance that couples do when they are falling in love. Was it me? After all, I think I’m attractive, have a good personality and I work out to keep my body in nice shape. So why then, do I always end up with the men who become “couch potatoes” at my house? The men who would rather bring a six pack over and watch football all day and then expect me to fix dinner? Do I suddenly turn into just a “buddy” to them, the girl next door?

I see other women who, frankly, are not as attractive as I am or as thin as I am, who seem to get the “hot” men. I don’t necessarily mean gorgeous men, but the men who take them to nice restaurants, bring them flowers, take them dancing and, basically, “court” them. What secrets do they know that I don’t, because they certainly aren’t sharing them?”

Most women think a wonderful relationship is simply about finding the right man. The truth is that those women who have wonderful relationships didn’t necessarily know where to find good men, instead they attracted them. Would you like to learn how to attract and keep a wonderful man? The best way to find out probably isn’t by talking to a woman; instead, a man would be able to give you the secrets to a man’s heart.

I’d like to share with you the secrets that men find irresistible and powerless to resist. The dirty little secret is that having a perfect body isn’t nearly as important as you have been led to believe. You can discover this incredible information by simply click here!

If Only I could Understand Men

Men always say they can’t understand women, and that women are so complicated. Well, for many women, it is the exact opposite. Most would give anything to understand what makes men “tick.” Even though women want to know what he’s thinking, men are often reluctant to share what is in their hearts. What’s a woman to do?

Rather than describe all the differences between the sexes, it is often more helpful to focus on a few areas that any woman can understand.

1) Men are more sensitive than women. While that might sound silly, the truth is that men don’t have the ability to recover from emotional trauma as effectively as a woman. Because of this, men keep themselves from getting too upset. When a man hears he should just “let his feelings out,” what he translates that into is this, “If I let my feelings out, I might not be able to control them.”

2) Men hate fighting. For men, conflict is not simply resolving a problem. Fighting, to a man, means one has to win and the other needs to be totally defeated. Men often prefer conflict that is non-emotional because it is less threatening to them. Once a conflict becomes emotionally charged, it is very difficult for a man to contain those feelings and the most frequent coping skill is for them to become quiet. It may seem like they are punishing you, but they are most likely trying not to lose control.

3) Men want to get married. In spite of what many progressive cultures preach, the truth is that a majority of men in the world do get married. While the freedom of being single has its appeal, it comes with one primary drawback – it is lonely. While this might not sound overly romantic, finding a woman that a man can trust is just as important as finding one who is beautiful.

If you liked these insights, there are more available in Bob Grant’s wonderful e-book called, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.” Bob Grant, L.P.C., has taken his 17 years of private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach and condensed only the best information into a mouth-watering, powerful handbook on what men find themselves powerless to resist in a woman. You can have this information simply by clicking here.

The commitment Phobic Men and Their Excuses

Oh we have all experience them, the commitment phobic men. They remain just out of reach. They date you, spend time with you, act as if they are in love, but they never seem to be able to commit completely to us.

They have all of these excuses. Have you heard any of the following.

1. I am not ready to be in a relationship
2. I have been hurt
3. My ex cheated on me
4. It's not you, it's me
5. My job is too demanding right now
5. My finances are not stable
6. My life is chaos
7. My kids take a lot of my time
8. When my kids are older I will be ready
9. I need more time and I will be ready
10. I love you, but the timing will be better in a year or so

These are all just excuses. A man either feels it for you or he doesn't. I and millions of other women have learned this the hard way. We have remained with those commitment phobic men for months, years, only to have him vanish and ride off into the sunset with another woman on that white horse.

Men make these excuses to keep stringing us along. They usually don't want to be alone, so we are the fill the gap girl. Men really do want to commit. They want it just as much as we do. A lot of things have to take place in the heart and mind of a man who decides to commit to you. He has to feel it to the core of his being that he does not want to be without you. If you are hearing any of the above excuses, he is not feeling this with you. Hard pill to swallow.

I will use my own story here for this. I met a man. He said all the right things. We dated every weekend, he called every day. He was respectful, but somehow I always felt a arms length away. He even told me he loved me. I stayed for over a year.

He started getting distant. The excuses started, his main one was work. It was demanding, if I could just be patient because it was temporary and would pass, things would get better. I accepted this excuse and even voiced it to others making it my excuse. I would be asked by a friend, "Are you seeing him this weekend?". I would reply, "He has to work, it's really rough on him right now." How pathetic I had become. Now I was making excuses for him. Commitment phobic men are full of excuses as to why the time is not right.

Fast forward two months. Here it comes. His contact starts to lessen. His calls become less frequent. I ask what is going on. He replies "I don't think I am ready for a relationship". He dumped me.

Fast forward 6 months. He is engaged to another. Everyone is talking about how happy he is. She is doing all the things that I didn't get to do with him. A trip to the tropics, decorating his new house, sleeping in his bed, blah blah blah.

Was he seeing her prior to our breakup? No he wasn't. He met her on a dating site which he joined days after our breakup.

I could post hundreds of stories just like mine here. Those excuses are excuses, don't let them become yours. He may or may not be one of the commitment phobic men, but it just goes to show that the commitment phobic men can commit. Apparently he just wasn't that into me. Commitment phobic men can be tamed. At the time I just didn't have the knowledge.

If you are hearing these excuses, please run and run fast, don't try to fix him, it won't work. Instead do what I did. Fill yourself with knowledge about what inspires men to commit. I started here. click here. Don't invest years only to watch one of those commitment phobic men leave you for another and in the process leave your heart in a million pieces to pick back up. Turns out my commitment phobic man really wasn't a commitment phobic after all


I have recently met a great guy who has no excuses. He puts in effort and it makes me now see how lame of a relationship I really had. It was one sided and I didn't even see it. Thank God for knowledge. Now I know.

2 Things a Guy Has to Do to Make Your Relationship Work

Below is an article from Evan Marc Katz that I found very interesting and wanted to share.

You’ve been with cute, charming, charismatic men before.

What did you notice about those guys?

They’re often so caught up in themselves – in their jobs, in their egos, and in their quest for freedom and multiple partners – that they make for bad bets as boyfriends.

On the other hand, you’ve been with guys who’ve made a huge effort on your behalf. Guys who buy you flowers, text you 10 times a day, and tell you they’re falling in love with you after 2 hours together.

What did you notice about those guys?

Their efforts don’t mean anything if you’re not really interested in them. No amount of red roses are going to win you over if he’s not smart, attractive and confident.

So what does this mean for you?

It means that too many times in your life, you’ve put up with the wrong type of men: those who make no effort whatsoever and those who have no personality.

From this point forward, you’re never going to do either again.

From this point forward, you’re going to know the two things that a man MUST have for your relationship to have a chance of success.

Without BOTH of them, you might as well give up on the guy.

WITH both of them, you have every reason to be optimistic about your future.

Click here to understand men forever, and keep reading to learn to make better relationship decisions that prevent you from wasting time on the wrong men.


Do you spend most of your relationship wondering why things can’t be better, easier, more fun, more supportive. Why can’t they be the way they were in the first couple of months, you ask?

My answer: Who F-ing Cares?!


Test 1: Is this fun? Is this easy? Do I enjoy the relationship? Am I happy?

Big fat NO. It doesn’t matter if there was attraction and flirtation three months ago; right NOW, Paulina is Matthew’s emotional booty call. He keeps in touch with her regularly to have a female presence in his life, but conversations aren’t fun, lively, playful, or even interesting. What is SHE getting out of this relationship? Nothing.

Test 2: Is he making an effort?

Big fat NO. Don’t mistake phone calls for dates. A man who wants to be your boyfriend MAKES PLANS to see you IMMEDIATELY. What are you doing tomorrow? The next day? The following weekend? For Thanksgiving?

That’s what we do when we want a relationship. Anything less, you’re settling for crumbs.

So if you look at your current relationship and find yourself in inner turmoil, chances are there are one of two things wrong:

1. You really don’t like the guy that much. You like the IDEA of the guy, but you don’t actually have a fun, supportive, easygoing partner in life.

2. He’s making no effort to see you, commit to you, or grow your relationship.

Either one is grounds for dumping. If this applies to you, get started now.

If you want to get this right and NEVER make this mistake again, click here to save YEARS of wasted time on the wrong men.

So Your Guy Flakes on You

What is up with these flaky guys really? They call, come on strong, say all the right things and them poof, he vanishes. What is going on? I hear it over and over again. Girl thinks she met a great guy, he seems into her, doing all the right things and then the distance starts setting in. The calls get fewer and sometimes stop all together.

Why He Disappeared!

Often he may like you, but for some reason he is just not sure, so he does this little thing that I call placing you on the back burner. He will call just enough to try to keep you stringing along, just toss you a small crumb of hope. His hope is that it will be enough that you will jump when he does make his move again. Sad thing is, he may make his move again, but already have his escape plan and do it all over again.

So what to do with the flaky guy? Can you turn him around. Maybe, maybe not. One thing though is for sure, if you allow him to put you on that back burner, that is where you will stay. Don't encourage the flaky guy by giving into his behavior. If a guy if flaky, the best thing usually is to not accept him as a qualified candidate for a relationship. If you want to keep him around on the back burner, fine, return the favor and be a flaky girl right back.

Why He Disappeared!

Usually the flaky guys are not qualified as a partner. They are keeping their options open always thinking the next one might be better. Don't accept a flaky guy period is your best bet. Somewhere out there is a guy who knows what he wants and is willing to put in the effort to get it. Leave the flakes alone and don't settle for one. You end up doing all the work, putting in all the effort.

Don't invest in someone who is not investing in you. Never make a flaky guy your priority because I can assure you a guy that flakes on you is just making you an option. Why He Disappeared!

5 Stupid Mistakes Women Make with Men

Mistake #1, you get dialing happy with your cell phone. First off a man knows it is his responsibility to make the phone calls in the beginning. He is the hunter. If you are initiating contact, making suggestions as to your next outing you are taking away his game. If he goes a few days without calling and you shoot out a text, you are telling him you are ready to invest more into it than he is. This is not really attractive.

Mistake #2, you ask about his past relationships. While you have every right to know if she is going to show up at your door with an ax, asking too many questions about his past relationships shows insecurity. He knows you are going to try to prove you are different than the ex, that's a given. Do it gracefully though by just being your wonderful fabulous self. You really don't need to give him a reminder to compare you to his ex. It may backfire on you and send him running back to her, leaving you wondering again why men disappear.

Mistake #3, you start behaving like a girlfriend before he has even decided that is where he wants to be with you. This means expecting a certain calling pattern, expecting him to put you first, just having all of these relationship expectations way to soon. We as women do tend to think more in the future, but trust me, men don't. Understand that his pace may not match yours. Don't pick up that girlfriend crown, let him hand it to you, or better yet, let him place it on your head. Acting like his girlfriend is a one of the huge mistakes women make.

Mistake #4, you put your life on hold and go into waiting mode. You wait for him to fit you in, you wait for him to call. If you find yourself in the bathroom with your phone within reach, you have gone too far. He should be the one waiting for you to fit him in. Women are the selectors in a relationship and so often we have the attitude of "pick me, pick me". He should be hoping you will pick him. A pick me attitude is another one of the big mistakes that women make.

Mistake # 5, showing him you like him by giving gifts, cards, silly text messages, etc. Again, in the beginning this is his job as a man. A true attraction killer is the woman who is giving in order to win a man's affection. It you want to win his affection, start by letting him win yours. If you are the primary giver, he will become one of the men to disappear. When a man is into you, he wants to be the one giving.

Why Do Men Disappear

Guys live in the moment. If they are attracted to you, they will jump in, hope to sleep with you and worry about how they feel about you later. Women go into a date usually hoping of long term. A man is not thinking of commitment on those first dates. He is thinking about fun. A man if not seriously into you, gets distracted and missing. That is when the men disappear.

So often the woman will question him. Where is this going? When will I see you again? We even start creating romantic fantasies in our heads. Walks in the moonlight, quiet evenings together cuddling. We are moving forward, yet all of a sudden we realize they are standing still.

A man disappears when he starts feeling the woman pushing forward or sensing she may want more. He may stick around for a while and we see this as leading us on. In his mind, he is justified because he probably gave you enough hints that you ignored. Maybe he didn't call you or keep in touch that often. Maybe he even told you he wanted to take it slow. In his mind, this should tell you he is not serious and that is a hint you should take. It doesn't matter that he was a true Romeo on the dates, you should know better in his mind.

Those hints he drops that we often ignore justifies a man when he disappears. He thinks he has done nothing wrong. When a man says he is busy at work, he is not ready, the timing is bad, along with many other excuses for not stepping up, believe him. He has the potential to be one of the men who disappear.

So what should you do? What should you pay attention to when it comes to guys? How quick he makes and follow through with the next date, that's what you pay attention to. Pay attention to how you feel between dates. Do you feel confident that he will be calling, do you feel confident that he is seeing you in the future. If you are not, chances are you should listen to your gut. You may have one of the men that disappear.

Why You Should Not Text With a Guy All Day Long

Other than the obvious that you are getting nothing accomplished what does it hurt to have one of those marathon texting adventures with a guy? You are really connecting and it seems like he must really like you if he keeps texting, and that may very well be the case. Have you ever been in one of those marathons and he just cut if off, or stopped replying? There is no mystery, no allure in an all day texting marathon. He knows he has you hooked. He also may get the clue that you don't have much of a life.

When texting a guy, less really is more. It's best to save something for later. Leave him wanting more. Be the first to exit the conversation. If you are texting a guy all day, he is eventually going to get bored. He is also going to see you as very available. You don't want him to see you this way, guys love a challenge. When texting a guy, go back and forth a few times and stop.

When texting guys, remember this, often they are testing you. They want to see how into him you are. If you will go along with his all day marathon, he knows you are really into him. This tells him you are pretty easy. It makes you a good target as a back up girl. Ever been texting a guy all day and then a few weeks later he rarely is in any contact at all. Had you slowed it down and made him work harder from the beginning the chances are fewer that he will vanish later down the road.

Constantly texting a guy is not attractive. At the moment if feels good. You are getting instant gratification. Wouldn't you rather have long term satisfaction. When texting a guy, keep this satisfaction goal in the back of your mind, always.

Texting if done skillfully can be a huge turn on in dating. It can build attraction. If done wrong though, it can just as easily kill it. Do you know how to use this skill to your full advantage? If not, you should.