Friday, December 17, 2010

Why Men Disappear After The First Few Dates

It happens, more than you know. You meet a man, have a date or a few dates, it seems great, then poof, he drops off the face of the earth. He becomes another one of the men that disappear.

You are left wondering what happened. You wonder is it something you did. You are familiar with the line "It's not you, it's me", I am sure. Well if this keeps happening to you, chances are good it is you. You may be doing something you aren't even aware of that makes men disappear.

Often women meet a man they really like and they start to stress. Will he call? Does he like me? Is he thinking long term? Is he dating others? Your mind goes into overdrive. Men can pick this up on their radar if you are stressing over them, even if you don't voice it. They know you are reading too much into it. It puts pressure on the man and this is one thing that makes men disappear.

Men live in the now. They don't go out on one date and start to visualize the future. Women often do. They start seeing couple-hood. They start behaving like a girlfriend way to soon. They obsess if he doesn't call, and start asking their girlfriends what does it mean when he says such and such. If you are analyzing his every word and every move, you are stressed and not living with him in the now. If you want to stop experiencing the men that disappear, learn to live in the present with him. Forget about where it's going and enjoy the time you are together.

Another thing women do when they start that stressing, is they start trying to control the outcome. If he hasn't called her in a few days, she picks up the phone and calls or texts him. She may even suggest they do something together. Slow down girl. The fact of the matter is men love a challenge. You can't stop a man from disappearing by holding on tighter. This is when it becomes not so fun to the guy. He is now worried about meeting your expectations. When he has to worry this soon, he thinks about what it may be like down the road. This is what makes many men disappear.

If you have just had a few dates with a man, and you want to keep him, relax and go with the flow. Enjoy his company and let him lead. A few dates does not make a relationship. If you start acting like his girlfriend or expecting boyfriend behavior from him this soon, chances are good he will be one of the men that disappear.

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