How To Spot a Player

So, do you know how to spot a player.  Do you know the signs that he is a love em and leave em type of guy. 

A player relies on his mouth to get him what he wants.  He knows what to say and he knows how to push your emotional buttons.  He has enough knowledge about the female mind and how it works to be dangerous.  He knows how to use his knowledge to manipulate and doesn't seem to feel any remorse for doing so.

A player will also use his mouth to toot his own horn.  He may tell you have fantastic having sex with him will be.  He may even tell you how he is more sensitive than most men and try to come across as a rare and caring soul that understands women.  Players often verbally paint these pictures of themselves as martyrs.  Some even brag how they take extra care of their parents. They exploit their good deeds and pretend to be modest. 

Ignore the words, the man that is so magnificent will not need to talk about it.  He just is. 

Players are also secretive.  They won't really share much personal information, yet they manage to get a lot of personal information about you.  If you find that he knows way more about you and your life than he does about yours, you may be getting played.

If you want to know how to spot a player, watch his actions, ignore his words.  A player is often all talk and no action.  He will talk about all the wonderful things he wants to do for you or with you, yet they don't happen.

A player will get random phone calls and you can bet they are from women.  He will play it off and act like she doesn't mean anything to him or she is history, but you can bet when you aren't around, it's a different story.  Again, ignore his words, watch his actions.
 
Can player be had?  Oh yes absolutely, but it's not a game for the faint of heart.  It takes a dream girl to play a player.

Why Do Men Pull Away

Why Do Men Pull Away

By robinincarolina  Posted on: Dec 12, 2011 ¦

He was calling and texting every day, and then out of the blue you feel he is distant. You can sense something isn't right. He calls less or is just less talkative or enthusiastic when he calls. He has things come up and reasons that he can't see you. You analyze it to death in your head and wonder why is he pulling away. You are probably going over and over in your mind the last few weeks, wondering what you did.

 

Men pull away for many reasons, but the main one is usually on some level, he doesn't feel safe with you. Maybe you got clingy or needy. Did you start questioning him as to who he is with, or where he has been. Do you want him to check in? This comes across as a huge warning flag to a man of a woman who will possibly become controlling in the future. He fears the loss of his freedom.

If you stepped into the relationship in your heart and head before he did, this will also cause him to pull away. If you are giving more to it than he is, such as calling and texting him first and doing most of the initiating and planning, this makes a man take a step back and this is often why men pull away. They like to lead. They like to be challenged. A woman that does most of the work in a relationship just loses his attraction and fast.
If you are wondering why is he pulling away, ask yourself how do you really think you make him feel. Men fall in love with the way you make them feel. They like to be the hero. Do you allow him to be your hero or are you busy trying to be his?

Men love a woman who can receive and appreciate him. If you give too much too fast, this does not inspire the hero in him. This plants the thought in his head that you may expect the same in return. Men want it to be their idea to give. If you are giving more than he is, this causes him to feel obligated to you. This is an attraction killer for sure and could be why he is pulling away.

Do you know how to make a man feel like a man. Do you know the real truth why he disappears.

Herpes Is a Blessing, Not a Curse

I talk to many many women and men daily.  We cover all sorts of topics, but recently a woman came to me with the Herpes questions.  She is divorced and hasn't done much dating except a short series of one night stands, which you guessed it, she contracted Herpes.  Now she wonders when to tell and if she should tell any potential partners.  She is looking for a lasting relationship by the way.  She is seriously considering not dating at all because of it.  I say nonsense.

I don't know the actual statistics, but do know they are pretty high.  A large percentage of the population does have this virus.  The good news of course is it can be controlled. The bad news is it causes often great shame in those that have it.  I hope today to turn around some of you thoughts or feelings of shame on this subject.

It's a fine line of when to tell your partner something so very personal.  It's not first date conversation.  Many fear telling of this sooner rather than later because it will scare off the potential mate.  First off, to tell your new partner about this requires great trust.  I am positive that many a person has had this "virus:" thrown back up at them later as ammunition, say in a fight perhaps. There is also the chance of complete rejection.  This is scary stuff.  It makes one not want to tell. but tell you must.

So how is this a blessing and not a curse.  For starters you have your own built in relationship pacing mechanism.  You will tend to move more slowly into relationships and build up a foundation of trust before jumping.  You simply must trust him prior to sharing such personal information. You very well may also abstain from having sex too soon, that thing that puts us as women into the bonding mind frame where we attach, sometimes sooner than we should.

You also now have very own separate the wheat from the chaff measuring stick.  If a man or woman for that matter dumps you because you have herpes, well he/she is not for you anyway.  Also if your partner sticks around after learning of this, well chances are good he is a keeper.  Sure you may lose a few because of this, but if he runs, he didn't have staying power in the first place.

Another blessing in this is showing your vulnerability.  Tell a few guys about this and see how much easier being vulnerable can become.  To prosper in relationships, we must learn to be vulnerable.  

What I am suggesting is that you embrace it rather than feel shame towards this virus that many suffer from.  It is not the end of the world.  It can be controlled and your life does not have to change.  Sure you have a responsibility to your partners, but don't discredit the responsibility that you also have to yourself.  The responsibility to trust yourself and the partners that you choose to share with.

Living with Herpes.

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How To Make A Man Feel Good

This is something that evades a lot of women.  They want to make a man feel good. They hope by doing this, he will be more endeared and attached to them.  I get emails from women wanting suggestions for a perfect gift.  They want to know what they can do to make him happy or how to make a man feel good.  Usually they relate this to giving to a man and giving more.  This is not what makes a man feel good necessarily.

If you want to make a man feel good, the best way to go about this is to allow him to make you feel good and show appreciation for this.  Men like to make their women happy.  It is when they feel they can't do this that they often give up and leave the relationship.  Your man may not show love in the same way that you do.  He may fix your car as opposed to roses and candlelight.  Thank him, tell him you appreciate it.  When he accomplishes something in his life, maybe a promotion, maybe he helped someone else do something.  Acknowledge his accomplishments.  This makes him feel good.  Appreciation and acknowledgement go a long ways.

If he offers to do something for you, let him.  He wants to make you happy.  Making you happy is what inspires him.  It's what makes him happy.  You don't have to give give give to make a man feel good.  Giving too much has the opposite effect on him.  It puts pressure on him.  He then feels obligated to return it.  You don't want to cause your man to feel obligation.

If you want to become a better lover, there is no harm in this.  Remember this though.  Although it's nice to be a skilled lover, most men again like pleasing you.  They also like an enthusiastic lover over an acrobat any day.  When you enjoy yourself in the bedroom, this is the best gift you could give him.  Even with something like a blow job.  Sure they love it if you are good at oral sex, but the fact that you are wiling and eager goes even further. 

You can find some more tips on how to make your man feel good here.
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