How To Spot a Player

So, do you know how to spot a player.  Do you know the signs that he is a love em and leave em type of guy. 

A player relies on his mouth to get him what he wants.  He knows what to say and he knows how to push your emotional buttons.  He has enough knowledge about the female mind and how it works to be dangerous.  He knows how to use his knowledge to manipulate and doesn't seem to feel any remorse for doing so.

A player will also use his mouth to toot his own horn.  He may tell you have fantastic having sex with him will be.  He may even tell you how he is more sensitive than most men and try to come across as a rare and caring soul that understands women.  Players often verbally paint these pictures of themselves as martyrs.  Some even brag how they take extra care of their parents. They exploit their good deeds and pretend to be modest. 

Ignore the words, the man that is so magnificent will not need to talk about it.  He just is. 

Players are also secretive.  They won't really share much personal information, yet they manage to get a lot of personal information about you.  If you find that he knows way more about you and your life than he does about yours, you may be getting played.

If you want to know how to spot a player, watch his actions, ignore his words.  A player is often all talk and no action.  He will talk about all the wonderful things he wants to do for you or with you, yet they don't happen.

A player will get random phone calls and you can bet they are from women.  He will play it off and act like she doesn't mean anything to him or she is history, but you can bet when you aren't around, it's a different story.  Again, ignore his words, watch his actions.
 
Can player be had?  Oh yes absolutely, but it's not a game for the faint of heart.  It takes a dream girl to play a player.

Why Do Men Pull Away

Why Do Men Pull Away

By robinincarolina  Posted on: Dec 12, 2011 ¦

He was calling and texting every day, and then out of the blue you feel he is distant. You can sense something isn't right. He calls less or is just less talkative or enthusiastic when he calls. He has things come up and reasons that he can't see you. You analyze it to death in your head and wonder why is he pulling away. You are probably going over and over in your mind the last few weeks, wondering what you did.

 

Men pull away for many reasons, but the main one is usually on some level, he doesn't feel safe with you. Maybe you got clingy or needy. Did you start questioning him as to who he is with, or where he has been. Do you want him to check in? This comes across as a huge warning flag to a man of a woman who will possibly become controlling in the future. He fears the loss of his freedom.

If you stepped into the relationship in your heart and head before he did, this will also cause him to pull away. If you are giving more to it than he is, such as calling and texting him first and doing most of the initiating and planning, this makes a man take a step back and this is often why men pull away. They like to lead. They like to be challenged. A woman that does most of the work in a relationship just loses his attraction and fast.
If you are wondering why is he pulling away, ask yourself how do you really think you make him feel. Men fall in love with the way you make them feel. They like to be the hero. Do you allow him to be your hero or are you busy trying to be his?

Men love a woman who can receive and appreciate him. If you give too much too fast, this does not inspire the hero in him. This plants the thought in his head that you may expect the same in return. Men want it to be their idea to give. If you are giving more than he is, this causes him to feel obligated to you. This is an attraction killer for sure and could be why he is pulling away.

Do you know how to make a man feel like a man. Do you know the real truth why he disappears.

Herpes Is a Blessing, Not a Curse

I talk to many many women and men daily.  We cover all sorts of topics, but recently a woman came to me with the Herpes questions.  She is divorced and hasn't done much dating except a short series of one night stands, which you guessed it, she contracted Herpes.  Now she wonders when to tell and if she should tell any potential partners.  She is looking for a lasting relationship by the way.  She is seriously considering not dating at all because of it.  I say nonsense.

I don't know the actual statistics, but do know they are pretty high.  A large percentage of the population does have this virus.  The good news of course is it can be controlled. The bad news is it causes often great shame in those that have it.  I hope today to turn around some of you thoughts or feelings of shame on this subject.

It's a fine line of when to tell your partner something so very personal.  It's not first date conversation.  Many fear telling of this sooner rather than later because it will scare off the potential mate.  First off, to tell your new partner about this requires great trust.  I am positive that many a person has had this "virus:" thrown back up at them later as ammunition, say in a fight perhaps. There is also the chance of complete rejection.  This is scary stuff.  It makes one not want to tell. but tell you must.

So how is this a blessing and not a curse.  For starters you have your own built in relationship pacing mechanism.  You will tend to move more slowly into relationships and build up a foundation of trust before jumping.  You simply must trust him prior to sharing such personal information. You very well may also abstain from having sex too soon, that thing that puts us as women into the bonding mind frame where we attach, sometimes sooner than we should.

You also now have very own separate the wheat from the chaff measuring stick.  If a man or woman for that matter dumps you because you have herpes, well he/she is not for you anyway.  Also if your partner sticks around after learning of this, well chances are good he is a keeper.  Sure you may lose a few because of this, but if he runs, he didn't have staying power in the first place.

Another blessing in this is showing your vulnerability.  Tell a few guys about this and see how much easier being vulnerable can become.  To prosper in relationships, we must learn to be vulnerable.  

What I am suggesting is that you embrace it rather than feel shame towards this virus that many suffer from.  It is not the end of the world.  It can be controlled and your life does not have to change.  Sure you have a responsibility to your partners, but don't discredit the responsibility that you also have to yourself.  The responsibility to trust yourself and the partners that you choose to share with.

Living with Herpes.

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How To Make A Man Feel Good

This is something that evades a lot of women.  They want to make a man feel good. They hope by doing this, he will be more endeared and attached to them.  I get emails from women wanting suggestions for a perfect gift.  They want to know what they can do to make him happy or how to make a man feel good.  Usually they relate this to giving to a man and giving more.  This is not what makes a man feel good necessarily.

If you want to make a man feel good, the best way to go about this is to allow him to make you feel good and show appreciation for this.  Men like to make their women happy.  It is when they feel they can't do this that they often give up and leave the relationship.  Your man may not show love in the same way that you do.  He may fix your car as opposed to roses and candlelight.  Thank him, tell him you appreciate it.  When he accomplishes something in his life, maybe a promotion, maybe he helped someone else do something.  Acknowledge his accomplishments.  This makes him feel good.  Appreciation and acknowledgement go a long ways.

If he offers to do something for you, let him.  He wants to make you happy.  Making you happy is what inspires him.  It's what makes him happy.  You don't have to give give give to make a man feel good.  Giving too much has the opposite effect on him.  It puts pressure on him.  He then feels obligated to return it.  You don't want to cause your man to feel obligation.

If you want to become a better lover, there is no harm in this.  Remember this though.  Although it's nice to be a skilled lover, most men again like pleasing you.  They also like an enthusiastic lover over an acrobat any day.  When you enjoy yourself in the bedroom, this is the best gift you could give him.  Even with something like a blow job.  Sure they love it if you are good at oral sex, but the fact that you are wiling and eager goes even further. 

You can find some more tips on how to make your man feel good here.
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First Date Sex - Sex and Dating

Is it okay to have sex on a first date?  This was posted on facebook this morning and the answers just shocked me to be honest.  Almost every answer was NO.  While that is all fine and well, what was even more shocking was the reasons most of these ladies gave for the no answer.  Reasons like he will think you are easy, he won't respect you, he will never have a relationship with you, he will think you are a slut and so forth and so on.

My point?  All the answers these women gave about why not to have first date sex was about him and what he would think of them.  Nice way to start out huh?  Worrying about what he thinks and feels and not the first thought about themselves.  How common of a theme this is with women is undeniable.  Women worry.  First date and they are already focused on impressing him.  What happened to him impressing you?

I would think there are much more valid reasons to not have first date sex.  For starters, you probably don't know much about him.  He could be controlling, he could be an abuser, he could be emotionally unavailable, he could even be married.  Have you ever had first date sex and then a couple of weeks down the road you discover he just isn't for you for whatever reason and you end up breaking it off?  These are more logical reasons to not have first date sex in my mind.

If you have sex on the first date or not should be about you and not about him.  It's about what feels right for you.  I have known many a woman to have first date sex and go onto a relationship and even marriage.  I think it's a lot to do with your attitude.  A man can sense insecurity and neediness in a woman.  If you are having sex to please him, he will know it.  Many women when they have sex for the first time with a man focus on pleasing him.  They do all sorts of maneuvers trying to make it good for him hoping that will bring him back for more.

The funny thing is, what brings them back for more is your enjoyment.  Men like to make women happy.  It makes a man feel like a man.  There the woman just wasted all the energy and effort when it would have been more effective if she just focused on her own enjoyment as opposed to his.

The other part of this that baffles me is this.  So much emphasis is put on when to have sex or not.  When is too soon to have sex etc...  What about your heart.  Isn't that the part that you really should be focused on if you should or should not surrender it to a man.  Does he know how to take care of it?  Sex pales in comparison to the value of your heart, yet you don't see articles all over the web advising about this.

With sex and dating, it's wise if doing it sooner rather than later to do so with no expectations.  If you have sex early on, own it, take responsibility for it.  No crying, asking when will you see him again, or apologizing.  You are a grown woman.  You are in control of yourself.  Acting as if you didn't mean to have sex with him on a first date only tells him you aren't in control.  This above the actual act is why he may not respect you.

A woman in control of herself and her heart is the woman men adore.

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How Do I Know If He Loves Me

I suppose I could start this post with, well if you have to ask "How do I know if he loves me", then he must not be in love.  I do realize though that many women are confused on this topic.  They get mixed signals or what they interpret as mixed signals and analyze it to death.  Does he love me?  Is he falling in love with me?  He told me this and he said that.  What does it mean?

First it's about actions actions actions.  Words really are easy to say.  Men are also taught to tell women what they want to hear.  Does he back up his words with actions is the key here.  When he says he will call, he does.  When he asks you out, he follows through and doesn't leave you guessing.  If you want to know if he loves you or not, watch his actions.

A man in love goes out of his way to make his woman happy.  He may give up a night with the guys or a sporting event to go shopping with you instead.  It was his idea.  If you have to badger him, it doesn't count.  He wants to spend time with you.  He makes the effort to make sure it happens.  He includes you in his life, family and friends. 

He is proud of you and hides nothing about you.  He may even be proud that you have your girly stuff at his house and doesn't chase after you to make sure you leave no evidence behind.  It's okay to keep a box of tampons under his bathroom sink.  He actually welcomes it. 

If you are taking a man's words and tearing them apart trying to figure out how he feels or how to know he loves me, you are wasting your time.  It's not in his kiss.  It's not in the great sex, it's in his actions.

When He is In and Out of Your Life

Ever been crazy about a man who is in and out of your life.  He spends the weekend with you or maybe a night and it's just incredible.  The chemistry is over the top and you feel such a connection.  Then he just disappears for days, weeks at a time, only to reappear again down the road to repeat it all over again.  It's baffling, so what is going on here?

This is a man that can't not only commit to being with you, he can't commit to being without you either.  In other words, he just can't commit, period.  Many women stay in this situation hoping he will come to his senses.  They convince themselves of all the reasons he could be doing this.  Work is stressful, he is busy, he has family issues.  The reasons could be many.  The truth is though, he just isn't ready to commit or willing to commit. 

By allowing this man to come in and out of your life leaving your heart all over the place, you are accepting his crumbs on his terms.  What are your terms?  Is this enough for you.  Many women get in too deep and next thing you know years go by and it's still the same ole thing.  They can't fall for another man because their heart is too wrapped up in this man.

A man that comes in and out of your life or a man that disappears on you is not seeing you as a priority in his life, there is no other reason.  If he isn't committing because of being busy, working, family issues, whatever, it's because he doesn't want to.  Men do exactly what they want to do.  He is more than likely just keeping his other options open.

This is a hard situation to be in.  Why he disappeared is really not that much of a mystery as most women make it out to be.  The mystery may lie in why do you allow him to do this?  Why he disappeared.

Why He Disappeared After Sex

It's pretty common for guys to disappear after sex.  I hear it a lot.  There are a number of reasons for this, but mainly it boils down to really not having much to do with the fact that he just had sex with you.  Of course there are guys out there that are only looking to score, but it's up to you to learn to distinguish the difference.

Guys can tell why you have sex with them.  If you are doing it just to please him, he senses it.  This spells desperation to him.  A guy would rather you have sex because you wanted to.  Otherwise he feels as if it's some ploy to trap him.  Often women start putting off the vibe that they think they are now in a relationship.  Sex does not equal a relationship. 

If the truth be told, he was probably going to disappear if you slept with him or not.  Many are under the belief that guys see them as easy when they sleep with them to soon.  There may be some truth to this, but if the guy is into you to start with, it's not going to matter.  Where women screw up with this is that once they sleep with a guy, they are ready to now invest their hearts.  This is where the easy comes into play in reality.  A man likes to work for your heart.  If you give it away quickly, he doesn't see it's value.  He thinks he isn't anything special.

If a guy disappears after you have had sex, it's one of two things.

1.  He wasn't that into you in the first place.  It's really no one to blame here.  We can't help who we are or aren't into.  I imagine you too have felt like disappearing on a guy after you had sex.  Maybe you did it in a moment of weakness and you really didn't like the guy.  Maybe you were drunk, who knows, but it happens.    We all do it or have done it.  That is one reason why he disappeared.

2.  The second reason is how you behave afterwards.  If you start acting like a girlfriend before he has made that move, it's a turn off.  If you got all emotional, well you made him feel guilty.  Guilt and sex don't go together.  If you expect it to mean something special to him, he will sense it.  Most men don't see sex as something special, at least not in the early dating stage. 

Then of course there is the chance that you aren't that great in bed.  If you were more focused on pleasing him and not focused on allowing him to please you, this is not good.  Men feel good when they make you feel good.  Picture Tarzan beating his chest and you will get the idea.  

Men bond before sex, women bond after sex.  It's sort of screwed up, but it is what it is.  For more truths on why he disappeared, visit here.

The Key to If He Likes You or Not

I have heard women fret about getting the attention of men.  I have had many even ask me how do I get his attention.  There really is no secret move we can make, or something profound we can say to achieve this. Many worry what if he doesn't like me.  Have you once considered flipping the tables.  Why not for a change wonder, hmmm, will I even like this guy?  I wonder if this guy has what it takes to get MY attention.

I know and you probably know the key to it all is self love.  You also probably want to cringe if one more person tells you this is the key.  I mean what is the formula to this self love?  Sure the gurus can tell you that is the key, but unless they tell you how to get this so called self love, it does you little good.  Finding self love is often a long journey.  To many it's elusive and seems out of their grasp.

So what is the answer?  You can start by faking it until you make it.  Some like this term, others don't.  I do like it and it has served me well.  For example, we have heard how powerful a smile is or how something as simple as using a person's first name has an impact.  We know this, but few practice it.  Look around you.  Next time you go to a convenience store or grocery store notice how many clerks are actually smiling.  Look at the people in line.  Chances are good they are frustrated more than smiling.  How many of these people read a nametag on the clerk and actually call them by it.  These two things alone can disarm a person.

So what if you just practiced these two little things.  Smile if you didn't feel like it at EVER BODY.  When talking with a person, say their name.  Both may not always seem natural.  Do it anyway and notice the person's response.  It will be positive more times than not.  This acts as reinforcement to you of the positive kind.  You get rewarded.  Do anything often enough and it becomes a habit.  Hence you faked it until you made it.

There are a lot of great books that have these dating rules in them.  That is the sole purpose of these books.  They give you a blue print to follow until you get there.  The reactions of men have been studied for you and they teach you certain behaviors that just naturally stimulate a man to want to get to know you better.  After you try the principles in these books and get positive results, it just reinforces it to you and you continue as it becomes second nature.  

A few of these books are below.   I call them Dating Bibles.

Why He Disappeared, Evan Marc Katz - 5 Stars
The Women Men Adore, Bob Grant -5 stars
Calling Men, Mimi Tanner - 5 stars



If you are wondering if a man likes you or not, think, do I like myself?  Why on earth would he not like me?   It's more likely I won't like him or rather I won't see him as someone I want to further invest into, not the other way around. 

Why He Disappeared After The First Date

Have you ever been on a first date and he didn't call back? You thought the date went great. You felt a connection and he may have even said those famous words, I will call you. Then radio silence. Day one you think well he may not want to appear desperate. Day two you think maybe he is doing the old three day waiting rule. The days go by and still nothing.

You are wondering why he disappeared. You start to analyze. Maybe I did something wrong. You go over the date in your head. Then you start analyzing him. You think things like, he did say he had a few busy days coming up at work. You justify it from his point, which translates to making excuses for why he disappeared and why he didn't call you back.


Here is the reality though. When a guy doesn't call you back and drops off the face of the earth after the first date, there is a good chance he isn't on the same page as you. Every guy is not going to fall for you, just like you aren't going to fall for every guy. After a first date, a guy really isn't invested into you, nor should you be invested into him. It's nothing personal and you shouldn't take it personal.

Dating is a process. Guys will disappear, it just is. I am sure you can think of a few guys you would have liked to disappear on as well. Have you ever avoided a man's phone calls because you just weren't that into him? It may very well have been nothing really about him personally. You just didn't feel a spark or connection. If you were into him, chances are good your heart raced when he called and you jumped to answer that phone.

Men are no different. If they like you, they will want to call you. They will want to secure that second date. They won't leave you wondering why he disappeared. Yes it's disappointing when he doesn't call you again, but it's part of life. Many women still after a guy disappears, keep trying to nudge him. They text, they call, they initiate. If you have done this, you are chasing him. How do you like it when a guy that you have ruled out keeps calling and texting you? It's annoying. That being said, the best way to handle it when men disappear is to let him. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for a one-sided relationship that may result in heart break.
If this has happened to you however, more than once, you may want to dig deeper and see if in fact there is some signal you may be sending off that makes men disappear.

I Don't Need a Man

I don't need a man.  This is becoming a common term today among women.  We are more independent, our lives more balanced and yes it may be true we don't need a man, to survive that is.  We also hear the longer version of this statement which is "I don't need a man to complete me".  This of course is also true, to a degree.  I think if we are truthful with ourselves, the women that say this statement generally are the one's that don't have a man in their lives.  I also think it's safe to say that women with this attitude have been hurt in the past more cases than not.  This is a common phrase among women who have just suffered a painful break up.

I agree there are some men we just don't need.  The abusive ones.  The controlling ones, the ones who have not quite grown up to name a few..  No we don't need those men.  Those types of men screw with our identity and wound our self esteem.  Those are often the men that lead us into the attitude of "I don't need a man".  I like the term I am happy with or without a man much better than "I don't need a man".  Yes we can be happy and yes when we are happy, we make better partners.  No we can't depend on a man to make us happy and yes happy comes from inside us first and foremost.  But not needing a man.  I am not in total agreement with this.

A good man, a fellow happy man, one that brings me up, accepts, loves, and adds to my life, yes I need him.  Yes he does add a completeness to my life.  This is not to be confused with he actually completes me.  He adds to the completion.

This not needing a man attitude may be the one thing standing between you and finding  a deeper love with a man.  On a subconscious level, you are reinforcing your single hood.  That law of attraction thing.  Your thoughts do create your world.  I have been told the Universe doesn't really hear the negative words such as the word don't.  So in essence you could be screaming out to the universe, I do need a man.

On a more concsious level though, you are sending a signal with this attitude to the men you encounter on a day to day basis.  If you are one of these women that wears this attitude proudly on her sleeve, you are repelling men.  No human wants to hear "I don't need you".  It feels cold.  It doesn't make men feel good.  Men are attracted to us by how we make them feel.  They want a woman who makes them feel good.  Men can feel this attitude from miles away.  The woman who makes him feel warm and welcome is the woman who won't be alone for long.  The woman with the attitude that "I love men", fairs far better than the one who goes through life with the not needing a man attitude.

If you are one of these women, men will see you as a ball buster.  A ball buster is not in tune with her feminine elegance and often remains alone.  It's the same as the men who have similiar attitudes.  How do they make you feel?  Do you want to spend time with these men who don't value women?  I seriously doubt it.

It's often our ego saying we don't need a man.  It's easier to say this and justify it to ourselves and others.  Women who claim to need a man are often looked upon as weak.  We are social beings, it's a fact.  Why is it so hard to admit that we need other human beings and yes there are two genders of this species.  Can we not go back and embrace our feminine roots and proudly claim that yes we do need a man?

Are you about to give up on love?  My friend Amy Waterman can help you.  Real Women, Real Love.
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What Does It Mean When He Needs Space

When you boyfriend says he wants space, it would be in your best interest to listen to him.  It means he is feeling crowded by you.  It means he wants time to do what he wants to do without guilt or worry.  It also usually means fear is about to set in.  Fear of losing his freedom.  Fear that you aren't the one for him.  Chances are really good that you did something to cause this fear to come up.

When he says he need space, more times than not the woman has become clingy.  She has started expecting things from him like that he check in.  Maybe she wants to know who he is with and what he is doing when he isn't with her.  This makes the man feel you are not independent of him and it makes him feel responsible for your happiness.  If he says he wants space, he may be craving the carefree days when he didn't have to worry so much about making you happy.

Many will say but he is my boyfriend and he is supposed to want to make me happy.  Yes this is true.  On the other hand, you are solely responsible for your own happiness.  Men love a happy woman.  If he feels he can't make you happy, he will leave, they always do.  More men leave relationships because they feel like it's too much like work when they have to answer for everything they do, or call in or be checked up on.  When relationships start feeling like punching a clock, the man gets scared and cries for his space.

Often women make the fatal mistake when their boyfriend wants his space of pushing him even further.  They start asking questions like, Why?  Am I not enough for you? How long?  Will you come back?  This is just smothering him even more and reinforcing why he needs space in the first place.

What it means in a nutshell when he needs space is that if you don't give it to him, a break up is inevitable.  It's going to happen in time.  Give him his space happily and guilt free and keep living your life in the meantime.  It's often difficult to trust that he will come back, but that is your only hope really.  If you have made the mistake of smothering him, this is the only way to correct it.  Don't wait until it's too late and he is too scared to give you a second chance.

What Is He Thinking?

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Getting Him to Open Up

Men Made Easy
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Signs He Is Not Ready For a Relationship

There are many men out there who are faithful to one woman yet never commit to her. They may date only her, but never step it up to the next level. This is all fine and well for a while, but if the woman wants more, such as marriage, she may be barking up the wrong tree. The sad thing is often the woman gets in too deep. She is treated well and doesn't see it coming. When it hits her, she is already in love.

There are flags and signs that this man isn't ready for a relationship or won't commit to a relationship. One sign is how deeply involved in his life are you? If you have been dating a while and he has slotted time for you every week, although you are in his life it may not be that deeply. A man can take you out every Saturday night, call you every single day, share his day with you verbally and still not be ready for a relationship. These are surface things that are easy to do.

If he on the other hand takes you to Sunday dinner at his moms, or involves you with his family, and you do day to day activities together such as grocery shop, you are more involved. The man not ready for a relationship will give you just enough to keep you around.

Another sign a man is not ready for a relationship is if something hits the fan, he isn't really there for you. Say your mom is in the hospital. A man not ready for a relationship is not going to insist on visiting her. A man who is ready will. It may even be his idea. He cares very much about your well being. He isn't well if you aren't well. A man not ready will usually put himself first when it comes right down to it.

If he is not ready for a relationship, you may hear excuses why he can't do certain things that you want to do. He may not want to go to a party your friend is having. You may hear him making excuses why he can't just come over and watch tv with you or why he can't stay the night. He has to get up early. A man in love will lose sleep to be with you. Eventually you stop expecting him to do these things. Sometimes the man will even make you feel something is wrong with you for wanting such things. It's not, nothing is wrong with you. You are ready for a relationship and he is not.

Many women have boyfriends, but that does not translate to a a real commitment in all cases. If you feel resistance from your boyfriend in any area, he may not be seeing you as his dream girl and he may not be as committed to your relationship as you think or hope.

Inspire Him To Commit 

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6622151

Texting Guys-One Big Tip to Up Your Text Appeal

The use of that laugh out loud, also known as lol at the end of your text could be hurting you.  Do you know people that can't send a text message without putting this at the end of it?  I know I do.  It drives me crazy.  I get a visual of the person sending it laughing at everything, even things that aren't funny.  Not a pretty picture.  Men are visual creatures.  Need I say more.

I know it sounds silly but really think about it.  When texting a guy do you need to tell him you find something funny.  Try substituting that lol with a "Now that's funny".  More personal for sure.  You are trying to build attraction here and sure a good sense of humor is attractive, but come on.  To end almost every text with that is just lame.  For more text appeal, replace that lol at the end of a sentence with something that speaks more directly to him.  Every one sends a lol, but not everyone takes the time to type out something creative to take it's place.

It also shows that you aren't confident in yourself when you use it all the time.  If you have to tell a guy you are laughing, well it's sort of defeating the purpose. You don't trust yourself enough to trust him to know you are actually laughing in some cases.  It's more powerful  when texting guys to let him wonder a bit if you found something funny or not.  It makes him try harder.  It's more of a challenge.  To send a lol is like saying, you should like me, I laugh at your jokes.  Pick me!  I am in agreement with you sort of thing.
The lol does have it's purpose. It's a great way to end a texting session.  Ever get a lol and nothing more when texting a guy?  Not much you can reply to that is it?  Ending a texting conversation first is a good way to have more text appeal.  Leave him while the conversation is good and he will be wanting more.  The lol is perfect for this.

On the other hand if he texts you a lol, stop texting him period.  It's a cut off.  To keep texting seems just desperate and will deminish your text appeal fast. A lol sent and nothing else is like a period, the end.  It takes little effort and is often saved as a pre-written message.  The lmao is no different by the way.  Use it sparingly to keep your text appeal in tact. The use of lol is just one of the many tips to increase your textual attraction. 

TEXT APPEAL!

How To Trust Your Boyfriend

One of the first issues in how to trust your boyfriend is does he deserve to be trusted. In other words is you lack of trust justified? Is it your insecurity or has he shown you that he can't be trusted? This is step one in trusting your boyfriend. If he has cheated on you or lied to you in the past, I am not going to suggest you learn to trust him. You may want to consider dumping him if that is the case. If you are striving to trust a man that can't be trusted, I can't help you.

If on the other hand he treats you with respect, and is a good boyfriend and puts you first, then yes, you must learn to trust him or you will lose him. If he has given you no reason not to trust him and you still check up on him, then you very well may be carrying your past baggage forward into this current relationship. This is not fair to him and can be emotionally exhausting for him. Men thrive on making their woman happy and if she is constantly seeking reassurance from him, he senses her unhappiness. Careful here, this man will get tired of justifying his actions and he will seek out a woman that does trust him and that is easier to make happy.

Baby steps is how to trust your boyfriend. Here is an example of a baby step. Let's say you like to hear from him by a certain time everyday. Do you find yourself reaching out to him when you haven't heard from him yet? Do you text, call or email? This is you trying to control the outcome. Practice not reaching to him. Trust that yes he will call you. Wait. No prodding. Then when he calls it is a baby step of positive reinforcement that yes you can trust him to do what he says he will do. It reinforces this to you that you can trust him, and it also reinforces in his mind that you trust him. Men need trust as do women to thrive in a relationship. Learning how to trust your boyfriend is essential to a happy healthy relationship.

I know a lot of women that get antsy when their boyfriends have not made weekend plans with them. They start worrying about this on Monday and it just gets worse as the week progresses. They stress, analyze and worry. Wednesday or Thursday come and they can't stand it. They again reach out and ask him what are the plans for the weekend or make suggestions. They don't trust him to follow through. If the man isn't including you of his own free will on weekends, he isn't really a good boyfriend in the first place.

So when learning how to trust you boyfriend, understand that there is more to trust than if he is going to cheat on you are not. It's trusting that he can make the right decision, that he does have your best interest at heart. Practice trusting him on the little things and the big things will fall in place. A man that has a woman's trust will rarely want to let her down. It inspires him when he feels trusted.

If you can't learn how to trust your boyfriend, he will eventually find a woman who understands him and you may be left behind. I can't tell you enough how important trusting your boyfriend is. It's one of the 5 main things he needs from you.

Women Men Adore.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6594242

If Your Boyfriend Has a Fear Of Commitment

If your boyfriend has a fear of commitment, first are you sure he has this fear?  You want to be sure that is the case and that it's not just a matter of he doesn't want to commit to you.  Look at his past.  Has he had a number of short term relationships?  Has he jumped from one to the other?  Does this fear transfer into other areas of his life such as does he struggle to commit to other things as well such as work or outings with friends?  If you answered yes, he may suffer from commitment phobia.

What makes it so difficult being in love with a man with a fear of commitent is the emotional roller coaster ride you stay on.  Commitment phobic men crave the very thing that they fear.  Closeness, love and connection.  They seek this out, then once they get it they distance again.  It's back and forth and you are stuck in the middle.

What happens is he pulls you close and you have an amazing night or few days together.  It feels like he is so present with you.  This never lasts.  The very man that was so wonderful at one moment will distance again down the road, maybe days or weeks later.  It gets to be a pattern and you are hooked on the good times.  You get stuck in his patern of seduction and rejection.

If the man you love has this yo yo behavior, it's tough. You wonder will he ever come around.  You read hope into the times that he is present.  One thing though, a man who does this does not make a good partner.  Also you may want to consider why you would settle for such a partner?  Could you have commitment issues also?

There is active commitment phobia and passive commitment phobia.  The active phobic is the one doing the running.  The passive is the one that stays with the running partner, this hindering themselves from ever having to commit and enter into a long term relationship. Any persistent behavior that actively prevents a person from making a commitment or allows a person to make excuses for not having made a commitment can be considered commitmentphobic.  It's a double edged sword here.

If you are in love with a commitment phobic you may want to question deeper why you stay with him.  I know I know, you love him.  He may love you also.  This does not mean it will work.  A man with a fear of commitment does not make a good partner that will adore, cherish and meet your needs.  He will leave you in emotional turmoil.

There are exceptions to every rule.  I have known commitment phobic men who have commited.  Usually it happens suddenly.  He meets a woman he can't imagine being without.  Next thing you know this new woman is wearing a ring.  It happens.  It takes a certain kind of woman to stay and inspire the man with the fear of commitment to commit.

 

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Why Did He Lead Me On and Then Disappear

A man often does send us these signals that he is into us right from the beginning of dating. He calls, sets up dates in advance, texts and keeps in touch. You start to get excited and let your guard down. You feel good about this, after all the dating gurus say watch a man's actions and not his words right? So what happens here? Why are you are left wondering why he disappeared without a clue.
It's important to realize men often live in the moment. Sure they have goals, just not at this moment. They may give you gifts in the beginning, nice thoughtful phone calls and want to spend time with you. These things are great and hopefully they will last, but they don't always do so. The man has one goal in the moment upon meeting you. His goal is to woo you and win you. This does not always translate that he wants a commitment.
The man who you felt lead you on and disappeared may very well want a relationship. He didn't lie to you when he told you this necessarily. He really does want a relationship, he just doesn't know if he wants it with you or right now. Have you ever started dating a guy and really liked him in the beginning only to get a few weeks or even months down the road and decide he isn't really the guy for you. You still want a relationship, you just realize it's not with him. You may have even told him a relationship is what you wanted. Should you be tarred and feathered for changing your mind?
If you don't think men are motivated by winning, think again. Observe them in a group watching a ball game or race or other sport and you decide. When they meet a girl that gets their interest, their goal for the time being becomes to win her. In the beginning, you can enjoy this winning behavior, but the true test comes later.
If you have been dating a while and his efforts stay the same or increase, you may have found a keeper. If on the other hand, you notice his efforts begin to decrease, chances are he isn't in it for the long haul. Hopefully you won't be so hopelessly in love at this point that you will struggle to let him go or start making excuses for him. Hopefully you won't still try to hold on and hope that he will change his mind or be left scratching your head wondering why he disappeared.

Have you seen more than one man disappear from your life? There is a real truth to why men disappear.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6586898

 

When Should I Text Him?

Usually the time we struggle most with the question of should I text him is in the beginning of dating or when we have just met a guy we find attractive and interesting. A guy we would like to get to know. We want to reach out and push things along. This time in the beginning is when you should be texting and calling him the least.
When texting guys, it's okay to answer them if they text first of course. It's not okay to initiate. If you send the first text every time, how do you know if he is really really interested? If you think that because he always replies so he must be interested, you could be very wrong. Guys that allow the women to pursue them that they aren't pursuing are often setting you up to be the girl for now, not the girl he falls in love with. It's easy, why turn down easy?
I know women who will text a guy and if she gets no reply, she texts him again. This is not good, don't do this. If he isn't answering, there is a reason. If you are one of these women that then will think, "what if he didn't get it", chill out. Have you ever went back into your sent messages to make sure the text message actually went? If by chance he didn't get it, if he is interested, he will text you soon enough, relax. If he doesn't, he isn't that into you. You texting him again will only make you appear desperate, so no don't text him again. It's an attraction buzz killer!
I also know women who will think up reasons to text him. They have some sort of information that they feel will be of interest to him, so they use that as an excuse to make contact. The only time it's okay to text him first with such information is if is also doing the same type of sharing with you. Don't over share and don't be the first to share. Let him come to you.

As a rule when you should text him is only if he texts you first. There really is no other reason to text him unless he is your boyfriend already and your relationship is established. Texting a guy everyday like so many women do will kill his attraction, not grow it. It equals to a guy a girl who is pushing for a relationship. Pushing makes guys run.

Texting a guy the right thing at the right time can drive his attraction through the roof. You can convey mystery, allure, flirting and bring him closer with a change in your texting techniques alone.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6576775

Should I Call Him When He Gives Me His Number

Many say get with the times, it's 2011. What's the big deal? We are equals to men right? I disagree. I still am from the old school that if a man is truly interested, he will do the initiating, but let me explain my view further.

There are now tons and tons of pick up artist communities online for starters. This is one of the techniques they teach men to make us feel more comfortable. While the intention is good, do you really feel comfortable when you place that call? If you are like most of us you wonder does he really want me to call him? What if reach him at a bad time. What if he blows me off. That fear of rejection is in us all, no sense denying it. Wouldn't it feel better actually if he called you and then you knew he was interested.

When a man tells you to call him, often it's because he just isn't interested enough to put any effort into it but would welcome a distraction or a back burner girl. There are exceptions to this rule of course, but more times than not, it a man wants to get to know you, he will ask for your number and call you.

Of course then you have the guys who are lazy, insecure, or just plain wounded from the past. They forgot how to pursue a woman or just don't feel like putting in the effort. Some of these men haven't healed and really aren't in a proper place to be in a relationship or don't actually know what it is they want. Often the man that gives you his number and says call him is one of these men.

Remember as a teenager how it felt when the guy you liked called you? You would call your girlfriends and scream with delight, even jump up and down. We may not get so carried away, but we still feel this way inside when the man we like calls us. To call him would deny us this thrill. It also denies him the thrill of the chase and the opportunity to win your attention. By calling men first you are screwing with the male/female dynamics.

So what do you do when a man gives you his number and asks you to call? Here is one solution. If you are in person, use the trick many pick up artist use, get your number in his phone right there on the spot. Say, why thank you, why don't I call you now and you can save my number in your phone. Now you do just that with him standing right there. He saves your number. Smile at him sweetly and say, "Thank you, I just called you, now it's your turn".

When it comes to calling men, the rule is don't. In a new relationship, this rule stands. You can tell how into you a man actually is by his calling and texting habits. How you handle this part of the relationship or dating process greatly determines if he stays into you or not. Knowing when and how to call or text men can and will make or break you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6571204

Circular Dating Take 2

How to Meet More Men

If you wonder how to meet men and you claim you never meet new men, this can be fixed. I know you have heard the phrase that if you stop looking he will appear. I am not so sure about that. I do think though that if you are only focused on meeting men, you are missing out. The secret lies in meeting people, not just men.

The more people you meet, the more you broaden you horizons. People know other people that you don't know or haven't met yet. The woman that works down the hall has a brother, son, or some single male in her life. The male co-worker has a best friend that is single or divorced. Everyone knows single people. It only makes sense to make it your effort to meet people in general and it will greatly increase your chances of meeting more men.

That being said, speak to everyone that crosses your path. Men, Women and Children. Focus on giving to others as opposed to focusing on meeting or finding a man. Smile and be friendly. Practice this with everyone. If you go into a convenience store, chat with the cashier. If you are shopping strike up a conversation with anyone. Yesterday I was in the grocery store and there was a lady talking to herself over the chicken. I simply commented to her, "So you talk to the chicken too?" We struck up a nice conversation.

Speaking to everyone also does something else. It boosts your social skills and helps with your confidence, not to mention increases your sense of well being. It's proven that humans are social creatures. We are happier when we interact with other humans. A happy woman is an attractive woman. Being a happy woman is the how to meet men.
Men are naturally drawn to happy women. The negative woman who spills nothing but negative energy is not attractive to men at all. Interact with all humans, be polite, be friendly, shine your light. When you direct your positive energy outwards towards others, a transformation begins to happen inwards. You start to glow and shine because you are happier.

Happy people attract more people. Like attracts like. If you want to know how to meet men, the secret is in focusing on meeting not just men, but all people. We are all connected, it is said by 6 degrees. In other words, the man that is for you more than likely is only 6 people or less away from you. Pretty simple concept really.

There are some women out there that are man magnets. They have no issues meeting men and seem to just be a man magnet. New Flash here, it's not about looks, it's something more. Some women repel men and don't know why, while others are women men adore.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6560770

The Charms of Southern Women - It's About Frying Chicken

Ask most Western Men and they most all will agree. There is something about the Southern Women. It's not that we are superior. I think we have a reputation made by many things. The movie Gone With The Wind for starters. The role we had to play and the obstacles we had to overcome during the Civil War is yet another thing in history that adds to our charms. 

Southern women are also known for their cooking. Now you may be wondering how this relates to our charms, so let me explain. We can fry some chicken and make those home made biscuits and gravy that not many a beau will walk away from. The key is this in the south. Knowing when to fry a chicken and when not too.

I have a girlfriend who had met a great guy. They had been on 5 dates and things were going well. She invited him over for dinner. She decided to impress him with her home cooking and fry him some chicken with all the fixens. Frying Chicken by the way takes time, and effort, lots of it. He should be honored right? Wrong! Sure he ate it, he told her it was wonderful, he got seconds, she offered to fix him a plate to go. He said no thank you. He also never called her back. Why?
While she was frying that chicken, he was thinking, wow, this woman is ready for marriage. I bet she has the dress already picked out. She is going to tie me down. In the beginning of dating, men just want to relax and aren't always thinking about a relationship yet. She blew it by frying her chicken too soon. She would have been better off to let him know in a subtle way that she could fry chicken, and let him wonder why she wasn't frying it for him.

Southern women say please, thank you, sir and mam. We can offer a glass of sweet ice tea to every man. Offering ice tea is fine. Frying chicken for him is not. I relate the stages of dating to frying chicken. We all have a chicken somewhere. Be it at the grocery store, the freezer, wherever. One of the charms of the Southern Woman is her ability to not only say please and thank you, but also no thank you. Knowing when to fry chicken is just one of the many things us southern woman understand.

Southern Women have many characteristics that they are famous for. All women posses these traits, they just haven't tapped into them yet. Learn the allure and charms of southern woman and how they get and keep their men.

How To Let a Man Know You are Interested

The number one tool you have to show a man you are interested is your warm open smile. When he looks at you, smile, when he says something nice, smile. Smiles go for miles. If you are beating your head against a wall plotting or planning ways to hook him or show him you are interested, you are beating a dead horse. If you have to work or put in much more than warmth and a smile, you are doing too much work. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to show interest in a man.

Men if they are interested in you, will approach, they will pursue and you do nothing but let them, with a smile and a welcoming attitude that is. So many women are now doing the work. This takes away from your feminine elegance and allure. If you are the one calling or texting, then you are doing the work of a man. You say it's 2011 and times have changed. Yes they have and women are more and more successful and equal. What really draws a man in though is not this. It's your feminine essence, you being a woman. Embrace being a woman and act like a woman and you will not really need to do anything extra to show your interest.

Now there are many ways to smile. There is the slightly shy smile that has it's allure. There is the smile that makes him wonder what you are thinking. There is the smile that says you might have something a little risque on your mind. A smile can trigger many things in a man's imagination and make him feel warm and welcome. If you want to know how to show a man you are interested, smiling and being receptive to him is the key.

I get asked often by women should I call him or text him to let him know I am interested. My answer is this. Is he calling and texting you or asking you out? If he isn't, he more than likely isn't interested. You can make every excuse in the world as to why he isn't chasing after you, but the bottom line is this. When a man is interested, he will and does make the calls and texts and plans to see you. You don't have to work overtime or jump through hoops to show him you are interested. He is perfectly happy to try to gain and work for your interest.

Sure if you call or text he may sound happy to hear from you and likely he is. If you ask him out because you just happen to have tickets to this or that, he may even go. Not many men will turn down something that comes so easy to them. They will not however, more than likely build an attraction towards you long term. Sure there are exceptions, but more times than not, men like to be the pursuer.

If he isn't pursuing, he isn't ready for a relationship, or he simply isn't interested enough in you. You won't make his interest grow by showing more interest on your part. Quite the opposite. He will view you as an easy target and be happy to make you a back burner girl until one comes along with more of a challenge. How to show a man you are interested is simple, you do nothing but smile and be receptive.

You attract men with your feminine elegance, your warmth and your smile along with your attitude. Do you have that feminine elegance that causes you to be the woman men adore.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6558115

Man Mistake Eraser #1

There are many mistakes we can make with the men in our lives.  We can act insecure, be too clingy, call too often, smother them, tell them we love them first and the list goes on and on.  There are the more severe mistakes such as cheating or lying.  Hopefully the latter two are not on your list.  Even the worst of mistakes though can be fixed.  There is one main man mistake eraser that will assist in almost every mistake we make.  Silence.  You may ask how can silence erase a mistake that you have made, so let me explain.

When men are upset, they aren't like we are.  They don't want to talk about it.  Men don't want to talk about feelings.....yet.  They need to process.  If a man is left with your silence, it forces him to think.  If you insist on talking or discussing your feelings and what went wrong, he doesn't have time to think, he just has time to be annoyed.  It also shows you as even more clingy or desperate.  If you have had a parting of ways, the best tactic you can practice is to be silent.

Often when a man is suddenly not around you or talking to you, if he is used to doing so, he may begin to miss you.  This is when a man realizes his true feelings towards you.  He won't get in touch with his feelings if you are forcing him to do so.  He needs time.  If he truly cares for you, he will remember more about the good times than the bad as he calms down. 

Several years ago, I was in a relationship with a man and yes I loved him.  I am pretty sure he loved me too.  We rarely fought, and always got along and had a really good healthy connection.  One night we did fight, he was upset and just walked out on me.  I did not know then what I know now.  I got in my car and attempted to follow him and force him to tell me what he was thinking.  He wouldn't.  I returned home only to show back up at his house the next day.  He then broke up with me for good, telling me the ole, "It's not you, it's me" and "I am not ready for a relationship".  This was after a year and his declaration that he loved me.

Would it have had a different ending had I remained silent for a few days and allowed him to calm and then come to me?  Chances are good that could have happened.  By contacting him continuously, I pushed him further away.  My chasing and talking was not a man mistake eraser.

Another thing when we screw up with men in our lives when we don't give them space happens.  The more we open our mouths and try to apologize, justify and talk, the more damage we do.  It just usually ends up reinforcing the very thing that they were upset about in the first place.  Also men expect women to behave with drama.  Be the woman that is different.  There are many man mistake erasers, but the #1 man mistake eraser is your silence.

The Charms of Southern Women

Southern Women are known for their alluring charms.  Men find them irresistible for sure.  I should know, I live in the South.  Recently a man told me "I've always wanted to find a Southern Woman to settle down with. Much more real and authentic."  Another man from the West Coast claims that there is nothing like a Southern Woman.  What is it about us that give us such a reputation?  Is it Scarlet from Gone with the Wind?

We known for a lot of things.  Saying please and thank you.  Serving sweet iced tea and oh our cooking.  Our country style of cooking is something few men can turn down.  It's more to it than that.  It's attitude.  It's our way we can shine with true Feminine Grace even in the not so pleasant moments.  We are also known for our accents, out tempers and our fire.  Always though done with grace.

Southern Women are flirts, no doubt.  We flirt playfully, and tastefully.  We aren't bold or blunt about it, but no how to show interests without chasing.  Now I am not saying we are superior.  We aren't.  We really are no different.  It's culture here in the bible belt.  It is different. 

We can fry up some mean ass chicken too by the way.  Melt in your mouth, yummy chicken.  The trick here though is knowing when to fry up that chicken.  I have come to relate chicken frying with stages of a relationship.  Some women jump in the kitchen, put on the apron and fry that chicken way too soon.  Other women know exactly when and how to fry that chicken.  Knowing this is they key to a relationship, believe it or not.

I have a new book out, yes I finally wrote a book.  Please check it out here.  The Charms of Southern Women.  It's all about Frying Chicken.

How To Trust Again

Men need to be trusted. If you don't trust your man, it can and will lead to the demise of your relationship if you don't learn to overcome your trust issues. When a man doesn't feel your trust, he doesn't feel safe to open up to you and he won't create that strong emotional bond needed for a relationship to thrive.

Many women associate trust with cheating as in trusting that he will be faithful. While this is important of course, there is so much more to trusting a man than if he cheats or not. Do you trust him with his own life decisions? Do you trust that he will do what he says he will do? Do you trust that he is a good man? Trust is way more than if he will run around on you.

The first step in learning to deal with your trust issues is to realize that they are your issues, not his. They exist in you more than likely because of you past experiences with men that let you down or did cheat. The current man in your life is not these men. He should not have to pay for the sins of the men before him. This is when a man starts to feel resentment. If he feels resentment, he will begin to not trust you with the most important thing, his heart.
When a man has to deal with your trust issues, he no longer feels safe with you. He can't. He starts to walk around on egg shells fearing something he says or does will set your trust issues in motion. If he can't feel safe, he won't thrive with you and grow into a strong healthy relationship. He will view you more as a little girl than the grown sexy woman that is his lover and confidante.

Another thing you may want to look at in your trust issues and how you don't trust men is the role you have played in the past. These men that let you down. Did you possibly accept the wrong men into your life. Often the men that let us down are men we should never have fallen in love with in the first place. I can think of many bad choices I made in men in the past. Sure I could get angry and say men are jerks. They are all alike. The fact is they aren't all alike and a lot of it is my own fault for falling for the wrong man. This isn't always the case, but more times than not we shoulder some of the blame.

If you want to learn to trust again, start with the little things. If he says he will call, trust that he will. If you call him first this shows you don't trust him to call you even though he said he would. If he has a problem or stress in his life, don't try to fix it for him. Trust him to fix it for himself. So many women try to intervene and fix the problems of their men. This just makes them feel inadequate or not trusted by you.

To learn to overcome your trust issues, practice with the little things like trusting he will do what he says he will do. If he says he will call, don't jump the gun and call him first. Give him a chance. Then when he does in fact do what he said, without a push from you, it gives you reinforcement. The more positive reinforcement you get, the easier it will get. It's a process.

The best thing about learning to trust your man is it makes him feel like a man. It makes him feel like the hero. You get positive reinforcement, return it back to him when he doesn't let you down and he will give you even more reasons to trust him, I promise.

Men have to feel trusted. When a woman doesn't trust her man the relationship seems too much like work. Then the man can end up leaving you for a woman that can trust him and make him feel safe. Don't be one of those women asking the question, "What does she have that I don't?"

REAL WOMEN, REAL LOVE.  DARE TO LOVE AGAIN.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6517022

He Blows Hot and Cold

If you are in love with a man that blows hot and cold, girl I feel for you. We have all been there. You have this chemistry with a man, it feels returned. Some days are just amazing. Others you don't even know if he will call or not. Worse, you wonder if you don't call him, would you even hear from him or not? It's a emotional roller coaster that is for sure.

Why do men blow hot and cold? Is he moody? Is it that he loves you but he just hasn't realized it yet. This is what I see a lot. Women staying with this up and down man hoping he will realize that one day he loves her and begins to stop the nonsense back and forth stuff. Many women even attempt to talk to their man about it. Oh this is only going to make it worse, don't talk about it. Men respond to distance, not words.

If you find yourself saying "but it was so great last time we were together, how can he just shut me out like that" you have one of those men that go from cold to hot. If you find yourself saying "but I love him", you have even bigger troubles. A man that changes temperatures is not a man in love. A man in love would not dream of putting you through that emotional push pull.

He could be a commitment phobic, he could be emotionally unavailable, but the fact remains, he is what he is, not present in your life like you wished he would be. It's the hot times that keep you holding on. You think if he could just be like this all the time. If he could just see how much I love him, if this, if that.

The fact of the matter is being in love with a man like this is emotionally exhausting. You hold onto how it was in the beginning and ignore how it is now. Fairy dust will not just sprinkle from the sky and transform the hot and cold man into a great partner. Nothing will transform these men into great partners. You are in love with his potential and focused on what could or should be and not what is.

If he was going to become a great partner, he would have already done so. Men don't just wake up one day more interested in you or all of a sudden in love. Men to fall in love have to think about you. A hot and cold man doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about you. Here is a hard truth about these men. His attraction for you is not that strong.

More times than not, men that blow hot and cold may not see you as his dream girl. A man would never blow hot and cold to his dream girl. He might lose her. If he blows hot and cold, you could be just an option for now until someone else comes along. A man who is a good partner would not do this to a woman he truly cares about.

Some hot and cold men stay around for a long time before they disappear. I have seen men blow hot and cold for one woman and turn around and blow hot all the time for another woman. Are you the fall girl here or his dream girl?

The Kind Of Woman That Keeps Him on Hot

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6511963

How to Make Him Addicted to You With Text Messages

It doesn't matter if you are single, dating, in a relationship or married. You can ignite a spark with a well thought out well delivered text message. To be successful with this technique, it is critical to have an understanding of the male mind. Men are visual. You have to be able to paint pictures to make him addicted to you.

If you are new to dating a man, it's best to do this more subtle like. Save the more to the point texts for those married or in a stable relationship. If this is a guy you are just dating, the techniques will vary from those if your relationship is established mainly because in the beginning it's best not to initiate with a man. This means you will have to execute your responses to his texts accordingly. By not initiating with the man you aren't chasing him. Men are getting used to women taking the lead. This does not mean they like it. By letting him lead, you stand out from the rest and this alone can make him addicted.

If you are already in a relationship, you can create more visual pictures for the man and be more to the point. This is not something you want to do everyday. Being predictable will not make him addicted to you. Being unpredictable will. If you are always texting him mundane things like when is he coming home or can he stop at the store, toss in a message with some sexual play to it out of the blue. Do this on occasion, not daily. You can start with something as simple as "I can't stop thinking about you today". He will inquire as to why, which is when you refer to something the two of you did in the bedroom if you get my drift. He will instantly remember that time and start thinking about it and you.

To get a man addicted to you, you create positive triggers to positive things you have shared. This builds an emotional connection. This is why texting works so well. Your ring tone, your name on his cell screen become triggers to him. Triggers of passion, and warm fuzzy feelings. When we have addictions in our lives, we think about them often. This is what you want to do with your texts. Get him thinking about you. Not you and what's for dinner. That's annoying and creates negative non addicting thoughts.

Find out what thousand of other women have already discovered about texting men and how it can escalate your romance to new levels.

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I Was In Love With an Emotionally Unavailable Man

Oh yes I was once upon a time.  He seemed so wonderful.  He was a good person and I didn't even suspect he was emotionally unavailable until much later on.  It was like the ole frog in the pot.  Put him in cool water, turn it up slowly and he will stay there and boil to death.  Toss him in a hot pot and he jumps out.  I went into the cool water and had no clue, there weren't any signs.

He asked me to be exclusive, he called me his girlfriend.  He did things right.  He called when he was supposed too.  He took me out on dates, he was a stand up guy with a strong character.  He was a family man.  It wasn't until later that I realized he did these things because he thought he was supposed too, not out of some deep desire to make me happy.

The really odd thing is looking back, I don't think he even realized he was emotionally unavailable.  He didn't get my need to be further, deeper into his life or include him into mine.  There were also little clues looking back.  The pillow talk was limited.  He had so many routines that he was unwilling to break.  If grass needed cutting, there was nothing I could do to sway him otherwise.  Cocktails on the deck on a beautiful day sounded so wonderful to me.  I knew at least a dozen people who would love to go for cocktails on a deck, but not my boyfriend.  I was never invited to participate in any of his hobbies or assist in any way with his private life.  We never cooked together.  There was little sharing. 


He did so much right, hence I fell in love, yet it was the things that he wasn't doing that were telling that he was emotionally unavailable.  That is where I screwed up.  I paid attention to what he did and ignored the things he didn't do.  They were easy to overlook.  It was not a big deal that he could never stick around for breakfast, after all, the night before he had given me so much attention.  The sex was great so how could I complain?  He treated me very well and he was good to me.

This went on for a year.  It started dawning on me when I started to really want to share things with him, but wouldn't because I didn't feel in my gut he really wanted me too.  He would listen sure, but be supportive or completely present?  Nope, he didn't.  Just enough to get me by and keep me hanging on.  This is when I started to really feel detached.  I wanted to share and be shared with, in some pretty deep ways.  I didn't feel comfortable doing so.  An emotionally unavailable man does not make you feel safe to open your heart because you are never really sure he wants you too.

I don't blame this man at all.  I could have done a lot of things different myself.  I could have rocked the boat sooner rather than later. I am positive of my own role in the demise of our relationship, but that is another blog post. Hindsight doesn't matter really.  I learned a lot.  It stands as a reminder in my current relationship anytime I get fearful and feel like shutting down.   I don't want my current partner not to feel safe.  Emotional closeness is what I crave and anytime I am tempted to be on the emotionally unavailable side, I think of him.

Note he had been married more than once and each marriage followed shortly after the other.  This could very well have been a sign he is emotionally unavailable.  Emotionally unavailable men are often unaware of their unavailability.  They jump out of one and right into another.  They think they are ready, but the fact is they are not ready for a relationship.  They won't be ready until they take inventory of their past and baggage and come to terms and acceptance with it.

Why He Disappeared!

I was lucky, he dumped me.  I didn't feel so lucky at the time, but now I am thankful that I have had the time to heal, learn and move onto a man who is emotionally available.  Cocktails on the deck?  Anytime!  If you are attracting emotionally unavailable men or are in love with one, understand this.  He won't wake up one day and be the partner you desire.  If he isn't that partner now, he probably won't ever be.  He will do like my ex did and disappear down the road.  You can't fix him, but you can replace him.

Why He Disappeared!

The Disappearing Man Syndrome

Have you ever blown a guy off, as in avoided him? Answer that honestly. Has there ever been a guy who was a nice guy but you didn't feel any attraction for him. You wished you could but you didn't, so you told him you just wanted to be friends. In reality, you probably didn't care if you remained friends or not, but you didn't want to hurt his feelings. Men often skip over the let's be friends and just disappear instead.

Have you ever dated a guy for a couple of months and then he got clingy. You began to doubt the relationship and you started creating a little distance. Seems this just made him more insecure and he began to ask you where the relationship was headed and started to want to talk about the relationship more and more, dissecting anything you said. What did you want to do with this guy. My guess, you wanted to disappear.

Some women talk so much about where the relationship is going that they talk themselves right out of the relationship. This pushes women away when men do it, why are men different. Most women are trying so hard to get the outcome that they desire that they kill the attraction in the process.

I got an email from a client. She had been chatting with this man online for a couple of days and they seem to be hitting it off. They made a date. Three days prior to the date he called it off. Seems someone he had previously met was back in the picture. He was respectful enough to tell her the truth, yet she still wondered if she should stay in touch if it worked out. Are you kidding me? He just told her loud and clear why he disappeared. Fatal mistake, don't hold on at all to the disappearing man.

Men Disappear for one of three reasons:

1. He is not that into you. It's not his fault. We can't help it if a man isn't into us, no more than we can help when we are not into them. It happens. Move on. Find a man who is into you. He is out there.

2. He is not ready for a relationship. He may think he is ready. You may have found him on a dating site. You would think all men there should be ready. They do state that in their profile. It doesn't mean a man is ready in reality though, trust me. If he is not ready for a relationship, that is a top reason why he disappeared.

3. It's not him, it's you. You did something to scare him off. Something that didn't make him feel safe. Maybe you got to clingy. Maybe you started acting too much like a girlfriend too fast Something killed his attraction, you can count on that. If it hadn't, he would not be one of the men that disappear.

With the first two it's a no brainer really. You can't make these men ready and you can't make them like you. You don't need a man who isn't ready and you don't want one that isn't sure if he wants you. If it's number 3, you may not really understand what men treasure in a woman and what makes them feel safe and fall in love.

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Are You His Dream Girl or His Yes Girl

Have you seen the older movie Runaway Bride. Remember she didn't even know how she liked her eggs. She had been conforming for so long to what she thought the men would like that she herself didn't know anymore what she liked. This is a yes woman. A dream girl knows what she likes and isn't scared to voice it. Men find this quality very sexy by the way.

A yes woman often operates out of fear. Fear that she will some how lose her man if she doesn't work to please him. A yes woman often puts her friends on hold for her man. I know you know or have been this woman. The woman who stops going out with her friends and devotes all of her time to her new man in her life. She frees up her schedule to accommodate him. She tells her friend she can go out with them if her man doesn't call or has to work or something.

A dream girl won't do this. She maintains her life and doesn't put it on hold for a man. She can involve him, but not at the expense of her own life. She doesn't sacrifice her life for the sake of a man. The man is an addition to her life, not the center of her universe.

Yes women often spend a lot of time doing things for their men. In the meantime, rarely is it returned. This causes a cycle. She does even more to earn his affection, and he returns it even less and the resentment starts to set into her heart. She then voices how she does so much and he does little. He then feels like he isn't making her happy and the relationship starts to spiral down hill.

If you are going out of your way to please a man, you are fast becoming his yes girl. If you are doing household chores, running errands for him, you are setting him up to take you for granted. This is not a dream girl. Dream girls often have the men running errands for them instead. A dream girl inspires the man to please her and understands that to be able to please her is most of what is needed to please him. Men love to make their women happy. Making his woman happy is what makes a man feel like a man. Why on earth would you want to upset this balance and focus on pleasing him?

A yes girl puts a burden on her man unknowingly. A dream girl  inspires him and makes him happy.

The Women Men Adore and Never Want to Leave

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