Friday, October 21, 2011

What Does It Mean When He Needs Space

When you boyfriend says he wants space, it would be in your best interest to listen to him.  It means he is feeling crowded by you.  It means he wants time to do what he wants to do without guilt or worry.  It also usually means fear is about to set in.  Fear of losing his freedom.  Fear that you aren't the one for him.  Chances are really good that you did something to cause this fear to come up.

When he says he need space, more times than not the woman has become clingy.  She has started expecting things from him like that he check in.  Maybe she wants to know who he is with and what he is doing when he isn't with her.  This makes the man feel you are not independent of him and it makes him feel responsible for your happiness.  If he says he wants space, he may be craving the carefree days when he didn't have to worry so much about making you happy.

Many will say but he is my boyfriend and he is supposed to want to make me happy.  Yes this is true.  On the other hand, you are solely responsible for your own happiness.  Men love a happy woman.  If he feels he can't make you happy, he will leave, they always do.  More men leave relationships because they feel like it's too much like work when they have to answer for everything they do, or call in or be checked up on.  When relationships start feeling like punching a clock, the man gets scared and cries for his space.

Often women make the fatal mistake when their boyfriend wants his space of pushing him even further.  They start asking questions like, Why?  Am I not enough for you? How long?  Will you come back?  This is just smothering him even more and reinforcing why he needs space in the first place.

What it means in a nutshell when he needs space is that if you don't give it to him, a break up is inevitable.  It's going to happen in time.  Give him his space happily and guilt free and keep living your life in the meantime.  It's often difficult to trust that he will come back, but that is your only hope really.  If you have made the mistake of smothering him, this is the only way to correct it.  Don't wait until it's too late and he is too scared to give you a second chance.

What Is He Thinking?

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