Thursday, June 2, 2011

What to Do When He Pulls Away

We have all been there wondering why do men pull away from us when we feel it is going so right.  It may be a few great dates or it may be a longer term relationship.  Regardless when you feel him pulling away, something is usually going on.  It could be nothing it could be something.

Maybe he stopped calling as often, maybe he quit texting.  Perhaps you were going out regularly and now he has stopped pursuing.  Regardless, you feel the distance, you feel it when men pull away.  It's your gut talking and usually when it's your gut talking, you probably need to listen fast.

Your instinct is to ask him what is wrong.  What is he thinking.  Men hate this, they really do. Nothing will put a man on the defense quicker than this.  Chances are you aren't going to get a straight answer because at the moment he doesn't really want to tell you.  He may even get short or irritated with you when you ask or say the usual, nothing is wrong.

Understanding why men pull away is a big key here.

So what to do when he pulls away?  Mirror his actions that's what to do when he pulls away.  You pull away also, not rudely, but just keep on about your life.  Pushing a man never works, that just makes him pull away even more.  Give him his space without drama.  Just give it to him, don't even talk to him about it.  Why?  Because men respond to distance, not words.

Chances are when you do this when he pulls away, he will notice this.  A few days or even weeks may go by and he starts to wonder why you aren't so concerned.  Then his imagination will start working like yours has and you know it has.  You wondered if he met someone else, you wonder if he is upset at something you said, you wonder of you did this or that.  So that being said, now he wonders.  A man's imagination is your best weapon.

So now that his imagination is engaged, he will more than likely reach out to you.  This is when he is receptive to hearing you out and this is when you can talk to him and he will listen.  Not before.  Attempt it before and you are just wasting you breath.  So that is what to do when he pulls away.

7 comments:

  1. I love reading your page! It is always so interesting.

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  2. So, I know everyone has to say how their situation is different, but I'm so confused right now! Over a holiday weekend I reconnected with a guy I went to high school with. We'd never dated. But as soon as I saw him I was attracted. And he's hilarious. I went to a party at his house. Another night he made me dinner. That night he started playing with me hair. He was so sweet. Against my better judgment, we slept together that night.
    We'd both had longterm relationships that ended around the same time and it had been almost a year that we were single, but he was very clear that he didn't have a heart to give. I stubbornly figured I felt the same way. We hung out a few more times, and we had sex one more time and then he started flaking and then he stopped contacting me.
    It's been months, but he recently reached out again. It took me a while to respond and I ended up changing the date of our lunch he'd asked to take me to. He came and picked me up and took me to a lovely lunch. As he dropped me off, asked if I was busy this weekend or if I wanted to do something to let him know. There was no kissing, nothing really intimate other than a hug. What does this mean? While we were out I noticed he kept grooming himself, like he thought he had something on his face..were these signs he might not just want to be friends and take it slow? What could be going on here?

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  3. If he isn't consistent in your life, he may very well be keeping you as just an option. Men when in love and ready to commit don't just come and go, they stay.

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    1. That's true..I strongly agree!

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    2. this is where Im at with the guy im dating, We have been dating 6 months I have told him from the first date Im not looking for marriage just to date.We get along get except when I found out he was still talking to x and there is know reason for him too there are no children and they were married 1 year first time 1 year 2 time. We have just come back from a great vacation had a awesome time, well time we get home shuts down no talking and no touching , Im at hes home for 3 days like this so I give up and go home, but before I leave I ask is everything ok and he said maybe we were moving to fast and I know something with his family has been on his mine, he said hes been a bachelor along time and that was it had not talked to me again texted me this morning. Good Morning.I know his 25 year old daughter that is married has said some things that is not true, asked why I would not come to her house, because her mother 1 wife might be there and he did not want to make me fill uncomfortable, first wife I have no problem with she has a life partner so no problem there. So what have I done, I know a few thing that you have said not to do being like Mother cooking, cleaning, taking him gifts that has all stopped . I have not called him in two days, where do I go from here?

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  4. My man pulls away every so often
    and it really does drive me nuts. But this article states exactly what I do. If I sense he's not trying very hard, neither do I. If he wants to talk on the phone but get together a lot less, I just might not feel like answering the phone. It really helps him to snap out of it.

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  5. This is happening to me right now actually. I sent him a text a few days ago nothing big no nagging or clinginess didn't ask him what was wrong. I'm scared its the end. Everything was so great I don't know what happened

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