Men need to be trusted. If you don't trust your man, it can and will lead to the demise of your relationship if you don't learn to overcome your trust issues. When a man doesn't feel your trust, he doesn't feel safe to open up to you and he won't create that strong emotional bond needed for a relationship to thrive.
Many women associate trust with cheating as in trusting that he will be faithful. While this is important of course, there is so much more to trusting a man than if he cheats or not. Do you trust him with his own life decisions? Do you trust that he will do what he says he will do? Do you trust that he is a good man? Trust is way more than if he will run around on you.
The first step in learning to deal with your trust issues is to realize that they are your issues, not his. They exist in you more than likely because of you past experiences with men that let you down or did cheat. The current man in your life is not these men. He should not have to pay for the sins of the men before him. This is when a man starts to feel resentment. If he feels resentment, he will begin to not trust you with the most important thing, his heart.
When a man has to deal with your trust issues, he no longer feels safe with you. He can't. He starts to walk around on egg shells fearing something he says or does will set your trust issues in motion. If he can't feel safe, he won't thrive with you and grow into a strong healthy relationship. He will view you more as a little girl than the grown sexy woman that is his lover and confidante.
Another thing you may want to look at in your trust issues and how you don't trust men is the role you have played in the past. These men that let you down. Did you possibly accept the wrong men into your life. Often the men that let us down are men we should never have fallen in love with in the first place. I can think of many bad choices I made in men in the past. Sure I could get angry and say men are jerks. They are all alike. The fact is they aren't all alike and a lot of it is my own fault for falling for the wrong man. This isn't always the case, but more times than not we shoulder some of the blame.
If you want to learn to trust again, start with the little things. If he says he will call, trust that he will. If you call him first this shows you don't trust him to call you even though he said he would. If he has a problem or stress in his life, don't try to fix it for him. Trust him to fix it for himself. So many women try to intervene and fix the problems of their men. This just makes them feel inadequate or not trusted by you.
To learn to overcome your trust issues, practice with the little things like trusting he will do what he says he will do. If he says he will call, don't jump the gun and call him first. Give him a chance. Then when he does in fact do what he said, without a push from you, it gives you reinforcement. The more positive reinforcement you get, the easier it will get. It's a process.
The best thing about learning to trust your man is it makes him feel like a man. It makes him feel like the hero. You get positive reinforcement, return it back to him when he doesn't let you down and he will give you even more reasons to trust him, I promise.
Many women associate trust with cheating as in trusting that he will be faithful. While this is important of course, there is so much more to trusting a man than if he cheats or not. Do you trust him with his own life decisions? Do you trust that he will do what he says he will do? Do you trust that he is a good man? Trust is way more than if he will run around on you.
The first step in learning to deal with your trust issues is to realize that they are your issues, not his. They exist in you more than likely because of you past experiences with men that let you down or did cheat. The current man in your life is not these men. He should not have to pay for the sins of the men before him. This is when a man starts to feel resentment. If he feels resentment, he will begin to not trust you with the most important thing, his heart.
When a man has to deal with your trust issues, he no longer feels safe with you. He can't. He starts to walk around on egg shells fearing something he says or does will set your trust issues in motion. If he can't feel safe, he won't thrive with you and grow into a strong healthy relationship. He will view you more as a little girl than the grown sexy woman that is his lover and confidante.
Another thing you may want to look at in your trust issues and how you don't trust men is the role you have played in the past. These men that let you down. Did you possibly accept the wrong men into your life. Often the men that let us down are men we should never have fallen in love with in the first place. I can think of many bad choices I made in men in the past. Sure I could get angry and say men are jerks. They are all alike. The fact is they aren't all alike and a lot of it is my own fault for falling for the wrong man. This isn't always the case, but more times than not we shoulder some of the blame.
If you want to learn to trust again, start with the little things. If he says he will call, trust that he will. If you call him first this shows you don't trust him to call you even though he said he would. If he has a problem or stress in his life, don't try to fix it for him. Trust him to fix it for himself. So many women try to intervene and fix the problems of their men. This just makes them feel inadequate or not trusted by you.
To learn to overcome your trust issues, practice with the little things like trusting he will do what he says he will do. If he says he will call, don't jump the gun and call him first. Give him a chance. Then when he does in fact do what he said, without a push from you, it gives you reinforcement. The more positive reinforcement you get, the easier it will get. It's a process.
The best thing about learning to trust your man is it makes him feel like a man. It makes him feel like the hero. You get positive reinforcement, return it back to him when he doesn't let you down and he will give you even more reasons to trust him, I promise.
Men have to feel trusted. When a woman doesn't trust her man the relationship seems too much like work. Then the man can end up leaving you for a woman that can trust him and make him feel safe. Don't be one of those women asking the question, "What does she have that I don't?"
REAL WOMEN, REAL LOVE. DARE TO LOVE AGAIN.
REAL WOMEN, REAL LOVE. DARE TO LOVE AGAIN.
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