Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Why He Won't Commit

A man has to feel desired for who he is. He wants to feel it's his uniqueness that won you over. Often we start out pushing way too soon, after a few dates we are wanting to know where this is going. This tells him you have an open position to fill and anyone will do. It does not make him feel special. He needs to feel special to commit, not just some guy to put in a tux and walk down the isle with and live happily ever after.

When women get in a hurry to secure the commitment it tells men, "She is insecure and needs to fill a void. She can't be alone". Her desire to secure a relationship has nothing to do with me personnaly. This is why you should always let him lead. Let him think it is his idea. He wants to know you value your selection of a man and who you commit to. This tells him that he is special and ignites a desire to commit. Why he won't commit is often because he does not feel that special.

The way to make him think it is his idea is to keep some distance. It causes a man to fixate on you. The reason is 9 out of 10 women assume the role of girlfriend after a month or two. They start trying to control the outcome of the relationship. They call if they have not heard from him, they try to lock down time with him, basically wearing the girlfriend crown long before he has placed it on our heads.

This is what causes men to back off. They have an instinct to protect their freedom. Remember it's women who want to discuss a commitment. Men do not. They have to accidently just fall into it. They value what they have to work for. If you are just a lay down, meaning easy to get, he will not value you and will not commit.

It takes a lot of patience to lead a man to commitment. Even the most phobic of men can be led to commit, but it takes a special woman to do this. Not a yes girl. Don't be the woman who watches her man drift away and eventually wind up married to some other girl. It happens all the time, he says he is not ready, then next thing you know he is with someone new. Don't let this happen to you, be his dream girl, not his doormat.

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