Tuesday, August 2, 2011

What Is a Drama Queen

A Drama Queen is also a control freak.  They try to control their surroundings and mainly their men with drama.  Below is a post written by a friend of mine who has a Drama Queen Friend.  You can see how she disrupts the natural pattern of how a relationship should flow with trust and acceptance.  If this is you, get help now or you will never keep a man, not a real man, not for long anyway.

One of my very good friends up here is seeing a guy who happens to be friends with a lot of my friends. He plays guitar, as do many of my friends, at these little jam sessions all over town, so we bump into each other occassionally. He sent me a friend request one night when I happened to be on the phone with her (my friend) and I said "oh, Rick just sent me a friend request. That's cool." She flipped the fuck OUT and was offended. She said for me not to accept it out of respect for her. I agreed, just because she seemed so bent out of shape about it and figured it wasn't worth it since I barely know him.

A few weeks went by...she and I were on the phone again one night and he sends me a pm basically saying "I sent you a friend request, but I guess you're scared of me. That's fine...no worries..take care." I told her about that (and mentioned the fact that I felt like an ass), so she calls him. She says to him "maybe Fair didn't accept your request because she didn't want to out of respect for me." He was like "oh, so that's how it works with you women..." So I asked her if she told him that she asked me not to and she said "well no." I was like GREAT....make ME look like an ass. THANKS.

The whole thing got under my skin because it is childish, in my opinion. He wasn't asking me out or hitting on me. It's fucking Facebook! On the other hand, she is a very good friend who has a very different opinion than I do about whether or not men and women can simply be friends. She doesn't buy it. But many of my best friends are men.

ALSO, she tends to stalk this same man on FB when he hasn't called her at night. She'll say "oh...he's on facebook. Can you believe that? He's on facebook, but he can't call me." I have to constantly remind her that the man works sometimes until 10pm (and he's a park ranger, so he's out in the heat) and that he has been very honest with her about the fact that he really does not like talking on the phone. Some people don't, you know? Some people find it much easier to be online. You type what you want for as long as you want, and then you're done. You don't have to deal with someone on the other end talking incessently or begging you to stay on the phone. You can just simply log off. But MAN, she gets irate if she sees him online and he hasn't called her. Yikes.

And finally, last week, he was up at Wild Wings with some of my friends and they were doing one of their little jam sessions. There happened to be group of very drunk college age girls in there who were hanging all over all of the guys (and girls) who were playing in the jam...pictures were made....pictures were posted....and people were tagged. There was only ONE of my friend's man that was tagged. She, again, flipped out. She then, in a very passive-aggressive way, told him she didn't like it. He ended up taking it down right away. I saw the picture. Had that been my guy, I probably would have just laughed.

This guy she's seeing is a very laid-back, free spirit type person. He's also a musician and the musicians up here are all pretty tight because they try to support each other and the whole local music scene. Many of them are women who have been his friends (and nothing more) since before she met him. It's amazing to me that he has not run for the hills because she (again, in a very passive-aggressive manner) bitches every time she sees a photo, a post, a "like." Anything.

She and I have discussed all of this at length and we finally had to agree to disagree. She blames it on our age difference, since she's 52 and I'm 36. I disagree. I think it comes down to understanding that just because a man looks at another woman, talks to another woman, or befriends another woman (and vice versa), does not mean that he wants to run off and bang her, date her, or marry her. It's a total trust and self-esteem issue, in my opinion. It doesn't have a thing to do with age.

I'm typing this in a hurry, so I don't know that I've made my point, but I hope some of it makes sense! I haven't even gotten to the other stories, but I have to run a ton of errands, so I will try to get to those later.

It's such an interesting topic because I think it affects everyone, whether you are in a relationship or not.

Go from Drama Queen to the woman men adore instead.  

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