Tuesday, August 9, 2011

My Husband Ignores Me

My Relationship Was Falling Apart Now It's a Dream

I hear this so very often.  My husband ignores me.  Why is this and what is the cause behind it?  It could be a number of things, but at the top of the list is always this one thing.  The attraction has faded.  A man does not ignore a woman he is attracted too.

So what causes the attraction to fade. Is it the stress and pressures of life?  Has everything just become routine?  How do you get the attraction back?  This comes to mind first when a woman complains my husband ignores me.  What exactly is he ignoring?  Are you trying to talk to him about this that you are feeling and being met with very little explanation or a lame explanation.

If you are trying to get his attention back through talk and words, you might as well stop now.  It never works.  Men don't respond to words, they respond to distance, yes even your husband.  A man quoted this yesterday on one of my articles.  Very telling. "Remember, men are visual creatures ... we hear you even more when we can see your thoughts/comments/points of view in your actions."  That quote speaks volumes.  

When you use words to a man, he gets the impression that you are complaining, not voicing your feelings.  This sends a message to him loud and clear.  If you are complaining, you aren't happy.  If you aren't happy it must somehow be his fault.  He doesn't really know how to make you happy, nor does your complaining give him any reason to want too.  It makes him feel bad or inadequate.  Believe it or not, men do have feelings.

On the other hand if you put some distance there, he starts to wonder and starts to notice.  A little distance added with the appearance of self control makes him nervous that he may be losing you.  This actually propels him into action.  When you pull back some, it causes him to move towards you.  This is when he will be more open to listening to your feelings and not a moment sooner.

Another common myth that women seem to buy into is that the more they do for a man the more he should love and appreciate them.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  If you are a woman that pleases or does everything for her man, this may very well be the main thing that has killed his attraction.  Then the resentment sets in.  This is when I often hear women say I do so much for him, he has it made, yet he takes me for granted.  My husband ignores me.  

Understand that those are your expectations and measures.  If you complain that you do so much for him and he does little in return, well there is your sign.  By doing or giving too much to your husband, you are allowing him to have his cake and eat it too.  The more you give, the more you expect to get in return.  So many women keep score of this when in fact the men never asked them to give so much in the first place.  Make sense?

If your husband is ignoring you, fix it now.  It will only get worse.  The resentment will grow and the attraction will fade more and more if it goes unchecked.  You can have the relationship you want starting today.
Bring Him Close Again

1 comment:

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