Friday, August 19, 2011

The Disappearing Man Syndrome

Have you ever blown a guy off, as in avoided him? Answer that honestly. Has there ever been a guy who was a nice guy but you didn't feel any attraction for him. You wished you could but you didn't, so you told him you just wanted to be friends. In reality, you probably didn't care if you remained friends or not, but you didn't want to hurt his feelings. Men often skip over the let's be friends and just disappear instead.

Have you ever dated a guy for a couple of months and then he got clingy. You began to doubt the relationship and you started creating a little distance. Seems this just made him more insecure and he began to ask you where the relationship was headed and started to want to talk about the relationship more and more, dissecting anything you said. What did you want to do with this guy. My guess, you wanted to disappear.

Some women talk so much about where the relationship is going that they talk themselves right out of the relationship. This pushes women away when men do it, why are men different. Most women are trying so hard to get the outcome that they desire that they kill the attraction in the process.

I got an email from a client. She had been chatting with this man online for a couple of days and they seem to be hitting it off. They made a date. Three days prior to the date he called it off. Seems someone he had previously met was back in the picture. He was respectful enough to tell her the truth, yet she still wondered if she should stay in touch if it worked out. Are you kidding me? He just told her loud and clear why he disappeared. Fatal mistake, don't hold on at all to the disappearing man.

Men Disappear for one of three reasons:

1. He is not that into you. It's not his fault. We can't help it if a man isn't into us, no more than we can help when we are not into them. It happens. Move on. Find a man who is into you. He is out there.

2. He is not ready for a relationship. He may think he is ready. You may have found him on a dating site. You would think all men there should be ready. They do state that in their profile. It doesn't mean a man is ready in reality though, trust me. If he is not ready for a relationship, that is a top reason why he disappeared.

3. It's not him, it's you. You did something to scare him off. Something that didn't make him feel safe. Maybe you got to clingy. Maybe you started acting too much like a girlfriend too fast Something killed his attraction, you can count on that. If it hadn't, he would not be one of the men that disappear.

With the first two it's a no brainer really. You can't make these men ready and you can't make them like you. You don't need a man who isn't ready and you don't want one that isn't sure if he wants you. If it's number 3, you may not really understand what men treasure in a woman and what makes them feel safe and fall in love.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6501466



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