Is it okay to have sex on a first date? This was posted on facebook this morning and the answers just shocked me to be honest. Almost every answer was NO. While that is all fine and well, what was even more shocking was the reasons most of these ladies gave for the no answer. Reasons like he will think you are easy, he won't respect you, he will never have a relationship with you, he will think you are a slut and so forth and so on.
My point? All the answers these women gave about why not to have first date sex was about him and what he would think of them. Nice way to start out huh? Worrying about what he thinks and feels and not the first thought about themselves. How common of a theme this is with women is undeniable. Women worry. First date and they are already focused on impressing him. What happened to him impressing you?
I would think there are much more valid reasons to not have first date sex. For starters, you probably don't know much about him. He could be controlling, he could be an abuser, he could be emotionally unavailable, he could even be married. Have you ever had first date sex and then a couple of weeks down the road you discover he just isn't for you for whatever reason and you end up breaking it off? These are more logical reasons to not have first date sex in my mind.
If you have sex on the first date or not should be about you and not about him. It's about what feels right for you. I have known many a woman to have first date sex and go onto a relationship and even marriage. I think it's a lot to do with your attitude. A man can sense insecurity and neediness in a woman. If you are having sex to please him, he will know it. Many women when they have sex for the first time with a man focus on pleasing him. They do all sorts of maneuvers trying to make it good for him hoping that will bring him back for more.
The funny thing is, what brings them back for more is your enjoyment. Men like to make women happy. It makes a man feel like a man. There the woman just wasted all the energy and effort when it would have been more effective if she just focused on her own enjoyment as opposed to his.
The other part of this that baffles me is this. So much emphasis is put on when to have sex or not. When is too soon to have sex etc... What about your heart. Isn't that the part that you really should be focused on if you should or should not surrender it to a man. Does he know how to take care of it? Sex pales in comparison to the value of your heart, yet you don't see articles all over the web advising about this.
With sex and dating, it's wise if doing it sooner rather than later to do so with no expectations. If you have sex early on, own it, take responsibility for it. No crying, asking when will you see him again, or apologizing. You are a grown woman. You are in control of yourself. Acting as if you didn't mean to have sex with him on a first date only tells him you aren't in control. This above the actual act is why he may not respect you.
A woman in control of herself and her heart is the woman men adore.
.
My point? All the answers these women gave about why not to have first date sex was about him and what he would think of them. Nice way to start out huh? Worrying about what he thinks and feels and not the first thought about themselves. How common of a theme this is with women is undeniable. Women worry. First date and they are already focused on impressing him. What happened to him impressing you?
I would think there are much more valid reasons to not have first date sex. For starters, you probably don't know much about him. He could be controlling, he could be an abuser, he could be emotionally unavailable, he could even be married. Have you ever had first date sex and then a couple of weeks down the road you discover he just isn't for you for whatever reason and you end up breaking it off? These are more logical reasons to not have first date sex in my mind.
If you have sex on the first date or not should be about you and not about him. It's about what feels right for you. I have known many a woman to have first date sex and go onto a relationship and even marriage. I think it's a lot to do with your attitude. A man can sense insecurity and neediness in a woman. If you are having sex to please him, he will know it. Many women when they have sex for the first time with a man focus on pleasing him. They do all sorts of maneuvers trying to make it good for him hoping that will bring him back for more.
The funny thing is, what brings them back for more is your enjoyment. Men like to make women happy. It makes a man feel like a man. There the woman just wasted all the energy and effort when it would have been more effective if she just focused on her own enjoyment as opposed to his.
The other part of this that baffles me is this. So much emphasis is put on when to have sex or not. When is too soon to have sex etc... What about your heart. Isn't that the part that you really should be focused on if you should or should not surrender it to a man. Does he know how to take care of it? Sex pales in comparison to the value of your heart, yet you don't see articles all over the web advising about this.
With sex and dating, it's wise if doing it sooner rather than later to do so with no expectations. If you have sex early on, own it, take responsibility for it. No crying, asking when will you see him again, or apologizing. You are a grown woman. You are in control of yourself. Acting as if you didn't mean to have sex with him on a first date only tells him you aren't in control. This above the actual act is why he may not respect you.
A woman in control of herself and her heart is the woman men adore.
.
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