Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Why Did He Lead Me On and Then Disappear

A man often does send us these signals that he is into us right from the beginning of dating. He calls, sets up dates in advance, texts and keeps in touch. You start to get excited and let your guard down. You feel good about this, after all the dating gurus say watch a man's actions and not his words right? So what happens here? Why are you are left wondering why he disappeared without a clue.
It's important to realize men often live in the moment. Sure they have goals, just not at this moment. They may give you gifts in the beginning, nice thoughtful phone calls and want to spend time with you. These things are great and hopefully they will last, but they don't always do so. The man has one goal in the moment upon meeting you. His goal is to woo you and win you. This does not always translate that he wants a commitment.
The man who you felt lead you on and disappeared may very well want a relationship. He didn't lie to you when he told you this necessarily. He really does want a relationship, he just doesn't know if he wants it with you or right now. Have you ever started dating a guy and really liked him in the beginning only to get a few weeks or even months down the road and decide he isn't really the guy for you. You still want a relationship, you just realize it's not with him. You may have even told him a relationship is what you wanted. Should you be tarred and feathered for changing your mind?
If you don't think men are motivated by winning, think again. Observe them in a group watching a ball game or race or other sport and you decide. When they meet a girl that gets their interest, their goal for the time being becomes to win her. In the beginning, you can enjoy this winning behavior, but the true test comes later.
If you have been dating a while and his efforts stay the same or increase, you may have found a keeper. If on the other hand, you notice his efforts begin to decrease, chances are he isn't in it for the long haul. Hopefully you won't be so hopelessly in love at this point that you will struggle to let him go or start making excuses for him. Hopefully you won't still try to hold on and hope that he will change his mind or be left scratching your head wondering why he disappeared.
Have you seen more than one man disappear from your life? There is a real truth to why men disappear.

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