The commitment Phobic Men and Their Excuses

Oh we have all experience them, the commitment phobic men. They remain just out of reach. They date you, spend time with you, act as if they are in love, but they never seem to be able to commit completely to us.

They have all of these excuses. Have you heard any of the following.

1. I am not ready to be in a relationship
2. I have been hurt
3. My ex cheated on me
4. It's not you, it's me
5. My job is too demanding right now
5. My finances are not stable
6. My life is chaos
7. My kids take a lot of my time
8. When my kids are older I will be ready
9. I need more time and I will be ready
10. I love you, but the timing will be better in a year or so

These are all just excuses. A man either feels it for you or he doesn't. I and millions of other women have learned this the hard way. We have remained with those commitment phobic men for months, years, only to have him vanish and ride off into the sunset with another woman on that white horse.

Men make these excuses to keep stringing us along. They usually don't want to be alone, so we are the fill the gap girl. Men really do want to commit. They want it just as much as we do. A lot of things have to take place in the heart and mind of a man who decides to commit to you. He has to feel it to the core of his being that he does not want to be without you. If you are hearing any of the above excuses, he is not feeling this with you. Hard pill to swallow.

I will use my own story here for this. I met a man. He said all the right things. We dated every weekend, he called every day. He was respectful, but somehow I always felt a arms length away. He even told me he loved me. I stayed for over a year.

He started getting distant. The excuses started, his main one was work. It was demanding, if I could just be patient because it was temporary and would pass, things would get better. I accepted this excuse and even voiced it to others making it my excuse. I would be asked by a friend, "Are you seeing him this weekend?". I would reply, "He has to work, it's really rough on him right now." How pathetic I had become. Now I was making excuses for him. Commitment phobic men are full of excuses as to why the time is not right.

Fast forward two months. Here it comes. His contact starts to lessen. His calls become less frequent. I ask what is going on. He replies "I don't think I am ready for a relationship". He dumped me.

Fast forward 6 months. He is engaged to another. Everyone is talking about how happy he is. She is doing all the things that I didn't get to do with him. A trip to the tropics, decorating his new house, sleeping in his bed, blah blah blah.

Was he seeing her prior to our breakup? No he wasn't. He met her on a dating site which he joined days after our breakup.

I could post hundreds of stories just like mine here. Those excuses are excuses, don't let them become yours. He may or may not be one of the commitment phobic men, but it just goes to show that the commitment phobic men can commit. Apparently he just wasn't that into me. Commitment phobic men can be tamed. At the time I just didn't have the knowledge.

If you are hearing these excuses, please run and run fast, don't try to fix him, it won't work. Instead do what I did. Fill yourself with knowledge about what inspires men to commit. I started here. click here. Don't invest years only to watch one of those commitment phobic men leave you for another and in the process leave your heart in a million pieces to pick back up. Turns out my commitment phobic man really wasn't a commitment phobic after all


I have recently met a great guy who has no excuses. He puts in effort and it makes me now see how lame of a relationship I really had. It was one sided and I didn't even see it. Thank God for knowledge. Now I know.