Should You Have the Talk with Your Guy

Four of the most dreaded words for a man are, "We need to talk". His defenses start going up, he automatically assumes he has done something wrong. You might as well grab him by the balls and squeeze, he would probably prefer this actually. It beats what he thinks he is about to hear, which is drama and emotional confrontation. A man will avoid this like the plague.

First really consider why it is that you need this talk with your guy. Is it out of your own insecurity? If you have been dating years, well that may be a different story which still doesn't need a talk, more like dump him if he hasn't committed by now. If it's only been a few weeks or months, slow down girl.

Here is where we screw up as women. We start wanting more sooner than the man does. Men do not operate on our time table. We often go into it thinking of the future where they just live in the moment. We start acting like the girlfriend, not giving them the opportunity to woe us and make us their girlfriend. The attraction is killed and the man disappears. Happens all the time.

If you are trying to get more time, more of a commitment, whatever it is that you are hoping to get from the talk with your guy, chances are good it will backfire. Think about it, why isn't he wanting to have the talk with you? Why isn't he trying to get a commitment, or more of your time? If you are the one doing all of the work in the relationship, he won't feel the need to have the talk with you. He already knows he has you, that is why your boyfriend isn't having the talk with you.

With the right man you won't need to bring up the talk and there will not be an elephant in the room. You will not be wondering if and when he is going to call, how he feels or what his intentions are. The way you feel between dates is the best sign of what the relationship is like. If you feel a level of comfort, if you just know when you lay your head down to sleep at night that this man loves and cherishes you, then and only then is it right. If you wonder, guess, speculate, this guy may not be the right and having the talk with your guy will not get you anywhere.

Tables can be turned once you understand what inspires men to commit. Learn how to get what you want without the talk. Be the girl on the receiving end of that talk