Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Are All Men Jerks

From all the complaining we do and hear, it would appear that men are jerks. They don't call when they say they will. They get hot and cold. They don't always tell us the truth and disappoint us in general. They have been known to vanish for days, let us down at the last minute among many other things. Why?

Could the problem lie with us as women and our expectations. Are we holding them to our expectations and not considering the fact that their expectations may differ? We always seem to have a certain time frame that things should be progressing. Should we not consider that their time frame may not be different. Don't they have just as much right to their expectations as we do to ours? Just because their expectations don't match ours does not mean it is wrong.

A man may not feel he has to call everyday. You may feel if he cares he will. Then the questions and doubts enter the woman's mind and the relationship starts it's down hill spiral, all because 2 people have different expectations as to how it is supposed to be. In a relationship there are 2 people. Why should the woman dictate how it is supposed to be? Can't we learn to accept men the way they are and not try to change them into what we want them to be, how we want them to behave.

Men and women are different. Men are logical, women emotional. This is fact. A man's communication tactics, level of need for intimacy, need for space, etc..., are going to be different from a woman's. We may expect compliments, romance, sweet words of endearment, while he thinks changing the oil in your car is an expression of love. I think if we could learn to accept their differences instead of fighting to make them conform to our expectations we would find the term, "Men are Jerks ", may not be so true after all.

I have learned that the key to good communication and relationships is not about trying to make men into what we want them to be, but let them be who they are, they tend to flourish this way. Funny thing happens, they start to trust and open up and in return give you what you really desire and want from the man in your life.