Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Bonus of Dating Without Drama


Not only is Dating Without Drama a great book to help us understand a man's mind. You know the questions. Why didn't he call? Should I call him? Will he call? Is he into me? And the list goes on and on. Now the information in the book is great and it teaches us women how to deal with these questions and what a man is really thinking.

Now all of that is great, but to me the best thing about this book it the community forum that you will get access to with the purchase of the book. Its a forum where hundreds of women and growing every day come together and discuss thier issues and problems with men. The women answer you questions, offer support and it is like nothing I have ever seen. All of these women have read Dating Without Drama and help one another stick to the basic principles.

I just recently went through some very hurtful drama of my own. I posted and over 80 women reached out to me to offer advice, comfort and cheer me on. I went to the forum Sunday Morning feeling like I was in the pits of hell, and by Monday afternoon, I was inspired and able to pick my self back up. I don't think I could have done it without them. I have made friends and my life has become enriched because of it. The book is great, but the forum is excellent.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Why do Men Leave


When you and your guy break up there are usually some questions that race through our mind
1. What happened?
2. What did I do wrong?
3. What's wrong with him
4. Can I get him back or is it too late?

Its mind blowing when a man that seemed to be so interested in you, can one day just lose all interest in you or the relationship. It can set you in a panick. You want to fix it and you want to do it now. Here are the thoughts that are also going through your head.
1. I must call him
2. I must write, email or text him
3. If I can only give something to him
4. If I could just tell him how I feel
5. If I could just get him to talk about how he feels
6. If only he could understand me
7. If only I could understand him

These thoughts are valid, but they are thoughts the we as women feel. We relate and process this break up much differently than a man does. These thoughts do not work on a man.

The top reasons, (not the only reasons) a man leaves a woman.
1. You were too helful and accomodating (he does not want a mother)
2. You were too needy
3. You were too strong or rigid

When a man leaves you, although he may not show it, there is a lot going on in his head. We are talking about a man's heart and there is a lot going on inside that he may not be aware of, that he's trying to avoid. It is a powerful thing to turn a man's heart. He has to warm up slowly, lower his guard and let his addrenaline die down before he can wrap his mind around reconciling with you.

This takes a man time and where we make our mistake is not giving him the time to go through this process. We call, beg, plead and try to convince him. Men do not respond to words they respond to distance. If you do all of these things you are actually pushing him away because you are reminding and validating to him all the reasons he broke up with you in the first place.

This is where the no contact rule comes into play. You shut down and give him that time, but be prepared it could take weeks, sometimes longer. It rarely happens in a couple of days. We as women want to end the pain and want instant gratification, but if you really want him back you have to be more aware of how thier mind works and stop thinking about what you want right now and focus on long term goal.

There is no guarantee but nearly every man will initiate some form of contact if you have shut down withing two months of a break up. The waitng is hard, but stay busy and go on like he is not coming back. Everytime you contact him, you are pushing him further away and killing your chances of getting him back.When he does call this is your chance to turn it around. First call do not talk about the relationship or what went wrong. Be light and fun and act like you are happy. You want to replace that last memory of you being needy with a positive one and this is going to make him feel its safe enough to call again without you getting all serious on him. Your lack of emotion will set you apart and pleasantly surprise him. Be the first to end the call and limit it to a very short call, no more than 10 minutes. Also don't share any details of your life or the past, just small talk.

Now you hang up and you are wondering what he is thinking about you and you may feel you have not done enough to help him get back with you. If you are feeling this way, the good news is, you are probably doing it right. Remember the things you want to do such as talk to him, tell him you miss him, telling him how you feel will drive him farther. Therefore, if you are wondering about him, then you have probably given him enough space to wonder about you.

Now he is open and feels comfortable enough to call again, keep it light again and repeat above steps. His imagination is now running about you and he is filling in the gaps and wondering all kinds of things. This is when he will start to move back towards you and this is when you will get the opportunity to really have that conversation and tell him how you feel because he is going to ask. Its all about timing. If you can hang in there and wait it out, let him come to you, that is when he will be open to listen to your feelings.

Break Up and Our Crazy Thoughts


When we have been dumped left, jilted, whatever you want to call it, we start having these crazy thoughts. We rethink it over and over and replay conversations and good and bad times in our heads over and over. This drives us insane. We are our worst enemy in times like these.

One of the biggest fears we have I do believe is he or will he be with someone else. We imagine them in the arms of another woman doing and saying all the things they did and said with us. It eats us alive.

Its the way we as women think, but you have to stop driving youself crazy about something you have absolutely no control over. Do you think he is thinking those thoughts about you? Maybe, maybe not. You have to accept those things that you can't control and work on what you can control, which is you. You are only hurting yourself more by allowing this to consume you. Take control of your thought process and accept that whatever happens just happens. Acceptance is a big part of keeping those thoughts under control.

I went through and even convinced myself that my guy broke up with me and he would have no trouble finding another woman. Then I convinced myself that even if he did, she would not be no where near as wonderful as I am. That is how I learned to deal with those thoughts.

If you do want him back though and you want to decrease the chances of him ending up with someone else, then get on the plan to get back your man.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Broken Hearted and You Want Him Back

You and your guy just broke up and you are feeling desperate. You don't feel like doing anything buy crying. Your heart is broken and you are doing good to get out of the bed in the morning. Every song on the radio just tears at your heartstrings and you could not possibly watch a chick flick. You are playing the break up and the past over and over in your head and driving yourself crazy. What could I have done differently you ask yourself. What can I do to get my man back. How can I get through this?

There are things you can do that will greatly increase your chances for getting your man back. First you need to accept the things that you may be doing or want to do to get him back that could actually drive him further away. If you are calling, showing up at his house and places where he frequents, you need to stop. This just reminds him of why he broke up with you in the first place and it puts too much emotions onto him. Men don't deal with emotions very well, they can't help this. It is just a fact that we as women deal with emotions much better than men. That being said you have to understand that just because the emotional appeal would work for you as a woman, it will not work for a man. You want to do what works for them.

I read in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus that men are like rubber bands. Now when you think about this, it really is true. They will stretch out and then spring back. With a man if you want him to spring back, you have got to allow him to stretch out. They need this time to stretch as this is when they start to really sort through things and this is when they will miss you. If you are constantly in their space, this process will not happen. Give him his space. This is the first step to get your man back.

Don't contact him. This is the hard part, but men do not respond to all of those words you are pushing at them. They do respond to distance though. Distance works on their imagination. They will wonder, wow, what happened? This woman who was so into me is not calling. What is she doing? Let his imagination fill in the gaps. This will prompt him to contact you. Now please understand this may not happen in a matter of days. It could take weeks and weeks. A man's time table is so different from that of a woman. Its something you have to accept to get through this. It is a fact though that the majority of men will initiate contact eventually after the break up. Its gonna happen if you play it cool. If you want your guy back, let him contact you first.

Once he makes the contact, you have to be ready with a plan. You want him back remember. Do not talk about the break up or the whys or your emotions. Keep it light and be friendly. You want to make this contact positive and you want it to replace the bad memory of the break up. You want to leave him feeling good about you as this will open him up to call or contact again. After he does contact you, do not call him, wait once more. I know you want to talk about your pain and feelings but wait. There will be plenty of time to talk about that once you get him back and into a committed relationship.

Most women when attempting to get their man back do all the wrong things. Do you want to be one of those women? Wouldn't you rather know how a man thinks about a break up and how to appeal to his way of thinking? How much time do you have before he is out and finds someone else? Can you afford to wait? Be the woman who has a plan to bring back her man and lead him to commitment.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Dating Without Drama Review

So what is dating without drama? Have you ever known a lady who just seems to have it going on. She gets the dates with great guys and they treat her like a queen. She may not even be drop dead gorgeous, but there is something about her that just draws the men. Chances are she is confident and self assured. She comes across to men as a fun girl that knows what she wants and settles for nothing less. Oh how attractive this is to men. She dates without drama.

Drama in dating is when you are wondering if he is going to call. You fret when he doesn't and wonder what you did wrong. Perhaps you have been dating for a while, weeks or even months and then you feel it, that distance. Men even just disappear and you have no idea what happened. Its like they have all the controls. The truth of the matter is its the woman that always has the control, you just have to learn how to get it and keep it.

Dating with Drama is also when you are doing the calling, all the work to make the relationship last. Wouldn't it be nice to sit back and let them do the work and you just relax and enjoy all the attention they are giving you. The key here is to stop doing so much and start doing less. Less is more. When you are putting in all the effort, the man automatically knows this and he gets lazy. Why should he have to put forth any effort when you are doing it all. Put some distance there and watch him follow you to see whats going on with you for a change.

Even and existing relationship can be turned around with the right techniques. Dating without Drama is an ebook that can turn your dating and relationships around. It teaches you how to apply these principles and get rewarding results. How would it feel to have your man calling you, doing for you and giving you all the emotional support that you have always craved. How many times have you not gotten this out of the man you were dating. Its not necessarily him, but your reactions to him that cause this. Learn to change you reactions and have him adoring you and wanting to be with you and only you.

Dating without Drama is an ebook by Paige Parker. It is a book that has changed thousands of women's lives. You can learn how to attract and keep a good man and how to keep the relationship exiting and keep him interested for life. Don't you want to see that adoring look in his eyes. Wouldn't it be nice to have him chasing you and making you feel like the most precious woman on the planet in his eyes.

Learn more about Dating Without Drama here
I have dated for years. I read Paige's book 2 years ago, and things started to turn around. I started having fun dating I met a great guy and knew I had to change something because I just knew he was a keeper. I read Paiges book after our second date and we are still going strong. The difference in this relationship is that I am in control, although he thinks he is. He calls when he is supposed to, is considerate of my feelings and I can see it in his eyes that he adores me. He has even made the remark that 99% of women out there are nuts, how did I get lucky enough to meet the one that isn't. You can turn your dating and relationships around with this book. You can learn how to understand how he thinks and have him just dying to be with you. I did and have sense met many other women who have done the same. Do you want to lose out to the women that already know this secret because the dating without drama women are growing in numbers everyday. For your healthy and exiting dating future please check out Dating Without Drama.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

What Propels a Man to Commitment


When it comes to commitment, men can be a mystery. Perhaps you have heard the words "I am just not ready". Men are human just like women. They do want a special woman they can spend their time with and its not that they don't want to commit. Often its just they have not found that special woman to commit to. The woman that makes him feel alive. The woman that can awaken the hunter instinct and challenge him. The woman that gets him. This is the woman that will make a man commit.Have you ever heard a man say "Its not you, its me"? He may be saying that but what he really means is "Its not me, its you". Chances are good that when it comes to commitment, the problem is you. Now I know that's a tough pill to swallow. You may feel you do everything right and you are an awesome girlfriend. You probably are an awesome girlfriend but that is not necessarily what triggers those deeper feelings in a man. The things you are doing to be an great girlfriend could very well be the things that keep him from committing.

Many women try hard to please a man. Perhaps you offer to help him out. Maybe you cook for him, buy him gifts, do his laundry, try to make his life easier. Maybe the more you do, the less he may seem to appreciate it. The bottom line here is if he wanted a cook and a maid, don't you think he should just go home to his mother? When he thinks of you, do you really want him envisioning you cooking, cleaning and being domesticated? No way! You want him to think of the exiting and sometimes unpredictable woman that you are. He is not going to commit to a woman who acts like his mother, face it. The domesticated activities should come long after you already have the commitment and not a day before.

The number one thing that will stop a man dead in his tracts on his road to commitment is if you attempt to convince him that you are the one for him. Often times a great relationship is extinguished far before it should be by a woman opening her mouth and voicing her feelings on the subject. This is not to say that you should not speak your feelings because you do have to be true to yourself. Its just that men don't want to hear how they should make a commitment. They want to reach this conclusion on their own and in their time. If you are talking about your future and your plans together he is going to run for the hills. Speak less about this issue with a man and you will get you more.

There are things you can do to change his thinking. Its not that you have to change the way you feel, you just have to change the way you react to him and alter your patterns a bit. Don't be so available every time he calls. If he usually calls at a certain time, say 7 or so be doing something. I have often answered the phone with "Hey, can I call you back later? I am at happy hour with the girls". A overnight trip with your girlfriends will do wonders. If he sends you a text I know you are dying to reply, but wait, try to make it an hour. He will spend that hour wondering what you are doing if you usually hit him back immediately. These are small things you can do that can make a big difference.

What this all means is to have a life of your own. Be a little unpredictable. Be happy and have a little mystery about you. Stimulate the hunter's desire in him. This will not happen if you are revolving your life around him. He will know it and not act accordingly. Its not always easy to do as we are natured to be care givers. Save the care giving for after you have the commitment and even then, never stop being the exiting, stimulating woman that won his heart.

If you are tired of wondering will he commit,why won't he commit and is this relationship going anywhere, I urge you to learn the secrets that propel a man towards you. Learn how to become the woman he just can't imagine living his life without. If its not you, it will be some other woman that wins his heart. Nicole Gaye teaches in her book how to gently lead a man towards commitment. She lets you inside a man's mind and shares what exactly it takes to get a man to commit.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tips on Texting and Calling Men


Ever wonder when and if you should call a man? You are dying to pick up the phone, but scared of what he will think. Have you ever made that call and then been greeted with the cold shoulder and wished you could take it back? It happens. Or maybe you have been dating a while and he usually texts you during the day but for some reason he just didn't on this day. Do you pick up the phone and start texting him? So what are the rules and what does work?

First thing to remember is if you are texting or calling men, you are giving them power over you. You want to be the one with the power. Now I know this is a hard concept to grasp, but if you are so readily available, you take the mystery out of it. You are predictable and he may be predicting that you are going to become an emotional needy girlfriend.

When you make that call or text first you are sending negative messages. What he is hearing is that you are needy, you are into him and he does not have to worry about you. You will be there when he is ready to talk to you. You want him to wonder if you really are all that into him. This will propel him to make contact, which is what you want. Honestly, when that phone does ring or you do get that text that he sent first, don't you feel like jumping for joy. It just does not feel as good if you had to do the initiating.

The way you reply to his text messages is very important. Be upbeat, funny and make him laugh. If there is and inside joke between the two of you, play on it. This will make him associate good warm feelings when he calls or texts and he will do it more often. If you are the one doing the chasing, he will likely lose interest.

The way we handle these calls and texts can make or break a relationship. Wouldn't it be great to know exactly what to do and say and when to do it? If it could improve your dating and relationships? Do you want to be the girl that makes him roll his eyes in agitation every time the phone rings? I am sure you answered that no. You can create tons of attraction and move a relationship forward just by knowing how to handle texting and calling. If you want to turn it around and be the girl that is getting the calls and text messages instead of giving them I suggest you visit this site to learn more. All you need to know about calling and texting men.