Tuesday, August 31, 2010

2 Things a Guy Has to Do to Make Your Relationship Work

Below is an article from Evan Marc Katz that I found very interesting and wanted to share.

You’ve been with cute, charming, charismatic men before.

What did you notice about those guys?

They’re often so caught up in themselves – in their jobs, in their egos, and in their quest for freedom and multiple partners – that they make for bad bets as boyfriends.

On the other hand, you’ve been with guys who’ve made a huge effort on your behalf. Guys who buy you flowers, text you 10 times a day, and tell you they’re falling in love with you after 2 hours together.

What did you notice about those guys?

Their efforts don’t mean anything if you’re not really interested in them. No amount of red roses are going to win you over if he’s not smart, attractive and confident.

So what does this mean for you?

It means that too many times in your life, you’ve put up with the wrong type of men: those who make no effort whatsoever and those who have no personality.

From this point forward, you’re never going to do either again.

From this point forward, you’re going to know the two things that a man MUST have for your relationship to have a chance of success.

Without BOTH of them, you might as well give up on the guy.

WITH both of them, you have every reason to be optimistic about your future.

Click here to understand men forever, and keep reading to learn to make better relationship decisions that prevent you from wasting time on the wrong men.


Do you spend most of your relationship wondering why things can’t be better, easier, more fun, more supportive. Why can’t they be the way they were in the first couple of months, you ask?

My answer: Who F-ing Cares?!


Test 1: Is this fun? Is this easy? Do I enjoy the relationship? Am I happy?

Big fat NO. It doesn’t matter if there was attraction and flirtation three months ago; right NOW, Paulina is Matthew’s emotional booty call. He keeps in touch with her regularly to have a female presence in his life, but conversations aren’t fun, lively, playful, or even interesting. What is SHE getting out of this relationship? Nothing.

Test 2: Is he making an effort?

Big fat NO. Don’t mistake phone calls for dates. A man who wants to be your boyfriend MAKES PLANS to see you IMMEDIATELY. What are you doing tomorrow? The next day? The following weekend? For Thanksgiving?

That’s what we do when we want a relationship. Anything less, you’re settling for crumbs.

So if you look at your current relationship and find yourself in inner turmoil, chances are there are one of two things wrong:

1. You really don’t like the guy that much. You like the IDEA of the guy, but you don’t actually have a fun, supportive, easygoing partner in life.

2. He’s making no effort to see you, commit to you, or grow your relationship.

Either one is grounds for dumping. If this applies to you, get started now.

If you want to get this right and NEVER make this mistake again, click here to save YEARS of wasted time on the wrong men.

Friday, August 27, 2010

So Your Guy Flakes on You

What is up with these flaky guys really? They call, come on strong, say all the right things and them poof, he vanishes. What is going on? I hear it over and over again. Girl thinks she met a great guy, he seems into her, doing all the right things and then the distance starts setting in. The calls get fewer and sometimes stop all together.

Why He Disappeared!

Often he may like you, but for some reason he is just not sure, so he does this little thing that I call placing you on the back burner. He will call just enough to try to keep you stringing along, just toss you a small crumb of hope. His hope is that it will be enough that you will jump when he does make his move again. Sad thing is, he may make his move again, but already have his escape plan and do it all over again.

So what to do with the flaky guy? Can you turn him around. Maybe, maybe not. One thing though is for sure, if you allow him to put you on that back burner, that is where you will stay. Don't encourage the flaky guy by giving into his behavior. If a guy if flaky, the best thing usually is to not accept him as a qualified candidate for a relationship. If you want to keep him around on the back burner, fine, return the favor and be a flaky girl right back.

Why He Disappeared!

Usually the flaky guys are not qualified as a partner. They are keeping their options open always thinking the next one might be better. Don't accept a flaky guy period is your best bet. Somewhere out there is a guy who knows what he wants and is willing to put in the effort to get it. Leave the flakes alone and don't settle for one. You end up doing all the work, putting in all the effort.

Don't invest in someone who is not investing in you. Never make a flaky guy your priority because I can assure you a guy that flakes on you is just making you an option. Why He Disappeared!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

5 Stupid Mistakes Women Make with Men

Mistake #1, you get dialing happy with your cell phone. First off a man knows it is his responsibility to make the phone calls in the beginning. He is the hunter. If you are initiating contact, making suggestions as to your next outing you are taking away his game. If he goes a few days without calling and you shoot out a text, you are telling him you are ready to invest more into it than he is. This is not really attractive.

Mistake #2, you ask about his past relationships. While you have every right to know if she is going to show up at your door with an ax, asking too many questions about his past relationships shows insecurity. He knows you are going to try to prove you are different than the ex, that's a given. Do it gracefully though by just being your wonderful fabulous self. You really don't need to give him a reminder to compare you to his ex. It may backfire on you and send him running back to her, leaving you wondering again why men disappear.

Mistake #3, you start behaving like a girlfriend before he has even decided that is where he wants to be with you. This means expecting a certain calling pattern, expecting him to put you first, just having all of these relationship expectations way to soon. We as women do tend to think more in the future, but trust me, men don't. Understand that his pace may not match yours. Don't pick up that girlfriend crown, let him hand it to you, or better yet, let him place it on your head. Acting like his girlfriend is a one of the huge mistakes women make.

Mistake #4, you put your life on hold and go into waiting mode. You wait for him to fit you in, you wait for him to call. If you find yourself in the bathroom with your phone within reach, you have gone too far. He should be the one waiting for you to fit him in. Women are the selectors in a relationship and so often we have the attitude of "pick me, pick me". He should be hoping you will pick him. A pick me attitude is another one of the big mistakes that women make.

Mistake # 5, showing him you like him by giving gifts, cards, silly text messages, etc. Again, in the beginning this is his job as a man. A true attraction killer is the woman who is giving in order to win a man's affection. It you want to win his affection, start by letting him win yours. If you are the primary giver, he will become one of the men to disappear. When a man is into you, he wants to be the one giving.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Why Do Men Disappear

Guys live in the moment. If they are attracted to you, they will jump in, hope to sleep with you and worry about how they feel about you later. Women go into a date usually hoping of long term. A man is not thinking of commitment on those first dates. He is thinking about fun. A man if not seriously into you, gets distracted and missing. That is when the men disappear.

So often the woman will question him. Where is this going? When will I see you again? We even start creating romantic fantasies in our heads. Walks in the moonlight, quiet evenings together cuddling. We are moving forward, yet all of a sudden we realize they are standing still.

A man disappears when he starts feeling the woman pushing forward or sensing she may want more. He may stick around for a while and we see this as leading us on. In his mind, he is justified because he probably gave you enough hints that you ignored. Maybe he didn't call you or keep in touch that often. Maybe he even told you he wanted to take it slow. In his mind, this should tell you he is not serious and that is a hint you should take. It doesn't matter that he was a true Romeo on the dates, you should know better in his mind.

Those hints he drops that we often ignore justifies a man when he disappears. He thinks he has done nothing wrong. When a man says he is busy at work, he is not ready, the timing is bad, along with many other excuses for not stepping up, believe him. He has the potential to be one of the men who disappear.

So what should you do? What should you pay attention to when it comes to guys? How quick he makes and follow through with the next date, that's what you pay attention to. Pay attention to how you feel between dates. Do you feel confident that he will be calling, do you feel confident that he is seeing you in the future. If you are not, chances are you should listen to your gut. You may have one of the men that disappear.



Monday, August 2, 2010

Why You Should Not Text With a Guy All Day Long

Other than the obvious that you are getting nothing accomplished what does it hurt to have one of those marathon texting adventures with a guy? You are really connecting and it seems like he must really like you if he keeps texting, and that may very well be the case. Have you ever been in one of those marathons and he just cut if off, or stopped replying? There is no mystery, no allure in an all day texting marathon. He knows he has you hooked. He also may get the clue that you don't have much of a life.

When texting a guy, less really is more. It's best to save something for later. Leave him wanting more. Be the first to exit the conversation. If you are texting a guy all day, he is eventually going to get bored. He is also going to see you as very available. You don't want him to see you this way, guys love a challenge. When texting a guy, go back and forth a few times and stop.

When texting guys, remember this, often they are testing you. They want to see how into him you are. If you will go along with his all day marathon, he knows you are really into him. This tells him you are pretty easy. It makes you a good target as a back up girl. Ever been texting a guy all day and then a few weeks later he rarely is in any contact at all. Had you slowed it down and made him work harder from the beginning the chances are fewer that he will vanish later down the road.

Constantly texting a guy is not attractive. At the moment if feels good. You are getting instant gratification. Wouldn't you rather have long term satisfaction. When texting a guy, keep this satisfaction goal in the back of your mind, always.

Texting if done skillfully can be a huge turn on in dating. It can build attraction. If done wrong though, it can just as easily kill it. Do you know how to use this skill to your full advantage? If not, you should.