Monday, November 29, 2010

He loves Me, He Loves Me Not - Hot and Cold Men

This uncertainty is painful and frustrating. You may have a great date, the passion is out the roof, the connection feels so strong. Then poof, he vanishes for days or even weeks at a time, then comes back again. What on earth is he doing and why.

He could be keeping you on the back burner. He could be just freaking out because he doesn't want to get in a relationship or he thinks he doesn't want to. One of the main reasons why men blow hot and cold though is because we allow them to do so. We take him back as we are swooned by his words when he comes back from disappearing. A man instinctively knows this, so it tells him it's ok to blow hot and cold. If you tolerate it, he has no reason to change.

A man that blows hot and cold very well may be a man who will not be there for you when the chips are down. If he can't remain consistent during good, normal times, what will he be like if the going gets tough? Will he leave you to deal with issues alone only to resurface when things have straightened out?

If you find yourself asking or nagging him about this behavior you are wasting your breath. This doesn't work on the hot and cold man and actually can cause him to be more extreme with it. Men avoid emotions like the plague. If you ask him or keep bringing it up, he sees it as talking about feelings. Ask any man does he want to talk about his feelings. He is going to say NO, 9 times out of 10.

Trust me, he already knows he is not treating you right, he doesn't need you to remind him. That is playing more of a mother role to him and men don't fall in love with their mothers. The best way to deal with men that blow hot and cold is to step away, pull back when he goes cold. Don't let him back in so easy. This tells him you recognize his bad behavior without saying a word.

The worst thing about men that blow hot and cold is you never know where you stand. You struggle with feelings of insecurities between dates with him. You don't know if he loves you or not. When he is with you, you feel he loves you, when you aren't, you just aren't sure if he loves you not. You might as well play that game he loves me, he loves me not with a daisy.

Why He Disappeared!

Can a man that blows hot and cold love you? Can this emotionally guarded man fall in love?
Why He Disappeared!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Is He Going To Break Up With Me?

If your guy has started calling and texting less, reasons popping up as to why he can't see you, it probably has you really worried. Maybe he is short tempered to you or seems to not have as much patience as he did. You may not understand what is going on, but you know it's something. You live in fear and the thought, he is going to break up with me stays in your mind.

Usually when a man starts putting distance between you, something is going on. He could be in that freak out stage, he could be feeling smothered. One thing we know from experience though, a man often acts this way prior to a break up. When that distance enters the picture, we wait in fear for those words. "It's not you, it's me". This line is a sure sign he is about to break up with you, that's for sure, we have all heard it and live in fear of it.

One of the most common reasons why men disappear or break up with you is they suddenly realize the girl in their life is more serious than he is. She is acting like the girlfriend. Sure he gave her signs, spent time with her, told her sweet things. He seemed perfectly happy the way things were progressing. Guys though, live in the moment. When they realize the girl is seeing herself as his girlfriend and acting the part, they get scared. All of a sudden, they have to think about someone else. The responsibility can be over whelming.

At the time maybe he was. Men fear a loss of their freedom. If they now realize they may have to consider your feelings prior to doing things such as hanging out with their buddies, they start to freak. They think, uh oh, she is going to start to try to control my life, thus he losses his freedom. A man's freedom is important to him and if he feels that is threatened he may be on the verge of breaking up. It's one thing they miss the most if they are in a relationship.

One thing you don't want to do is hold onto him tighter or push him to talk about it. This just sets him back more. Men don't deal with emotions very well. If you get all emotional on him, it just validates the reason why he should break up with you in his mind. The best thing you can do when you are in fear and can't stop asking the question, "will he break up with me", is give him that space. There are a lot of dynamics going on in a man's mind at this point and your behavior can make or break this. It can determine whether he feels safe to continue with you, or if he decides to break up with you.

Don't be caught off guard and be left hurt and feeling helpless. If you guy is distant, have a plan before the break up begins.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Will He Stand Beside You or Will He Disappear

It's easy to be a relationship when everything is new, it seems so perfect. You learn something new about him every day. You text flirty text messages, you think of him all the time. You leave your weekends open because you know or you hope you will be with him. It's so great in the beginning.

Why He Disappeared!

What happens though when some of the newness wears off? What happens if something happens in your life where you can't be that fun, carefree girl anymore? What if you get laid off or a family member gets sick? When the going gets tough, does he have what it takes to stand beside you or will he be one of those men that disappear?

During rough times you are stressed and can't really give him that fun loving girl. He has to be really invested in you to stick around. Does he really want to drive you to the hospital or help you move? If you are going through a rough time, you really do need a man who stands beside you, not one of those men who disappear.

Why He Disappeared!

When we are going through hard times, this is when we need our partner the most and this is when he often pulls away. Then not only are you going through emotions with your life stresses, now you are left trying to hold onto a man who you fear will disappear. Add one more worry to your list.

The sad thing is, if he is a man who disappears, this is how he acts when he's asked to be selfless. This is how he acts when he doesn't get his way. This is how he acts when the chips are down. So why would you want to commit to a man who doesn't have the decency to put your needs first when you need him the most? Because you love him? Because you have a great time together and the chemistry is out the roof?

Why He Disappeared!

You just got a glimpse of the rest of your life. A man who doesn't support you, a man who disappears when you're at your weakest is not a man to keep. How a man reacts in a crisis says a lot about how he will behave in the future. If your man is not supportive, consider it a bullet dodged. If you stay and try to salvage a relationship with him, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointments.

Why He Disappeared!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Dating Again - Be The Leading Lady

You know the movie "Holiday" with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslette? Well when Kate gets to LA and she meets Author, they go out for dinner and he ask hers why is she here all by herself, she explains to him and starts crying sharing the heartache she has endured. Well Author tells her that she needs to stop acting like the best friend and become the "Leading Lady" in her own life.

What does this mean and how does being a Leading Lady help in dating again? It's a lot to do with attitude and how you view yourself. You are the prize, you are the leading lady. If you see yourself this way, you won't have near the drama that dating again can bring.

If a leading lady does not know where she stands she rarely has to have the talk. When her needs aren't getting met, she gracefully exits the stage. She doesn't have to come out again in hopes of an encore. She is in control. If you are dating again, being in control is critical to protect yourself.

If she has a small part in his life, she gives him a small part in hers. Nothing more. She doesn't waste much time or put consideration into small time roles. She doesn't invest more into a man than he is investing in her.

A leading lady doesn't wait around hoping she will get the part, wondering if she will be picked. She knows her worth and if she isn't recognized for it, she moves onto another film. She knows her worth and if a man doesn't treat her accordingly, her thought is "Next".

A leading lady doesn't view the parts she doesn't get as failures. She sees them as practice, auditions. A way to perfect her game. She learns from this and moves on and doesn't waste time on the parts that just didn't fit her.

Dating again can be confusing and frustrating. Many times we just want to give up. Don't, just be your own leading lady and dating again turns into an adventure.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

How Evan Marc Katz Changed My Life

Evan Marc Katz is a relationship/dating coach and author of an inspiring book called "Why He Disappeared". His no nonsense approach cuts right to the bone and takes all the guess work out of dating and relationships. He is a man that communicates to women in a frank, matter of fact way exactly how men think and process a relationship.

I went through countless relationships in my past guessing where I stood with men. I would be dating a guy and suddenly he or I stopped feeling the attraction. I wondered often why men disappear. Katz explains this with crystal clarity in his book.

Why He Disappeared!

It's not always that we attract the wrong men into our lives, it's more about we accept the wrong men in our lives. We fall in love with their potential more than who they really are. They start out dating putting their best foot forward, a few months go by and they start getting distant. We stay hoping to get the man back to where he was in the beginning. Katz explains why this happens and what you can do about it.

I no longer struggle with my dating or relationships. I know what to look for and I understand a lot more how men really think. I have no doubts I will not find myself stuck and unhappy in dead end relationships anymore.

Because of Katz, I was able to let go of a man who although great it would seem, really wasn't making me happy. I held onto him for all the wrong reasons which is where this book, Why men disappear helped me.

Why He Disappeared!

I left the relationship confident and without regrets. Pain was minimum. I am not dating again and have several good candidates in the line up. I am not stressed wondering if he is going to call, will I see him, will he disappear or any discomfort.

I recommend this book, it's like the bible of relationships. If you read no other book on relationships, this should be the one. Why He Disappeared!

For more information on Evan Marc katz and his credentials View Evan Marc Katz Credibility

Friday, November 5, 2010

Finding The One Online

Online dating has been stigmatized. Many view it as unsafe and something desperate women do. This is really a shame because there are a lot of great guys out there looking for love online. Just like in real life, there will be jerks, emotional retards, commitment phobics, and guys wanting an instant relationship who are clingy and needy.

The guys online are just like the ones in real life except there are more of them to choose from. It's like shopping. Shopping is fun. It can be frustrating because so often it just doesn't fit. It's a numbers game though. The more you date, the better your chances are for finding the one online.

There is skill involved in online dating. There are things you can do to increase your chances of finding the one online. Some very simple. A few changes to your pics, profile or something as simple as the subject line in your emails can make all the difference in the world. There are ways to weed out the duds as well.

If you are frustrated and not having much luck and feel like giving up, sometimes a few changes will make all the difference in finding the one online. Rebranding yourself online is what I call it.

Find The One Online

Once you rebrand yourself online, start flirting effectively with men, and going out on pre-screened, high-quality dates each week, it’s only a matter of time before you meet your future husband.

The husband who will love you in spite of your flaws.

The husband who will listen to you after a bad day.

The husband who will take care of you, emotionally, financially, and sexually.

Without meeting men consistently, this scenario is unlikely to happen. But when you master online dating, love becomes inevitable.

Find The One Online

Okay, maybe not inevitable! But I think we can agree that one date a week will likely produce a relationship a lot faster than if you go on one ‘real life’ date every three months.

The following things would be beneficial to learn if you are going to have success in finding the one online.

* Which dating site works best for your individual needs
* The "headline/username" secret that makes your profile irresistible to members of the opposite sex!
* 5 profile strategies you can use RIGHT NOW to immediately boost the appeal of your profile.
* 2 surefire techniques to write an amazing first email that gets an eager response...
* The REAL reason why people disappear in the middle of emailing you. It's not what you think, but it'll save you hours of agonizing why your "perfect" match suddenly stopped communicating.

The absolute best online dating guide was created by Evan Mark Katz. Hundreds of women have found the one oneline by following his guidelines.

Find The One Online