A female friend of mine has been online dating not for a few months. She is discouraged. She has met a few guys in person, she has emailed with many. She has had a lot of them just flake, stop emailing. Then there are two she likes, potential. One sort of eventually fades and she now has interest in the one. Now is when the stress sets in.
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We get stressed dating again because we don't know where it's headed, or what he thinks at this point. We are trying to rush it, when actually we probably would be better off to stay on the dating site at least talking to other men, giving them the benefit of the doubt.
She was losing interest in the internet dating concept or losing faith. She stopped logging onto the site as often, with some hope that maybe in the back of her mind this guy might work out. This is not how to date successfully online. It's all about keeping options open.
How many time do you think a woman meets a man of interest and she stops logging onto the dating site as often. This is a mistake, stay on the dating site until both of you are sure where you stand with one another, otherwise it's options open.
My friend told me she was going on a mancation. A mancation in our world means staying away from men. Below is my reply.
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You can't give up and the mancation does suck, I mini-mancation might be alright, you know 2 or three days.
I have had a good weekend so far. Went out for while last night, laughed a lot, maybe drank more than I should and flirted just to be flirting. I came home talked on the phone a while with a new "friend" and phone sex crossed my mind.
Today, moral here of this story is about swimming.
There is a pool in the backyard of my temporary home, one of the pluses. Today I got my swim suit on, sunscreen and got all set up. It's warm enough here right now. not hot but hot enough. The pool though is really really cold. (the pool is the dating world, back out there again.)
I wanted to swim some laps. I stepped on the first step and goose bumps went up my back and arms. I thought about it long and hard as I eased in, several times I almost turned around and got out. I got waist deep and just went for it, almost had a heart attack. Holy crap! I swam to the other end fast and hard, knowing I was going to only make one lap, I was so cold. I reached the other end turned around and went back talking myself out of getting out. One more lap, I can do one more.
Second lap, hmmm, I wasn't so cold anymore so I slowed it down. It was dead quiet out there and the cold water started to feel comfortable. I did 5 more laps slow and easy. Got back out sat in the sun, dried off and decided if I could do 5, I could do 5 more.
So I head to the pool, but this time I know what it's going to feel like so I just jump right in and start swimming. It might be cold but I already know I will get used to it.
That's how I see dating again. It's a mindset. There is no hurry, slow and easy and it's not near as stressful. It's when your focus shifts onto a man that you are not sure is focused on you that makes you want to get out, you feel the cold water in other words. Get back in and swim.
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