Men want to be trusted. If one man let you down or more than one man, it doesn't mean they all will. Often we blame the man when this trust is broken, but many times we as women have played some sort of role in his behavior. I will not deny that there are some men out there who just can't keep it in their pants, but for the most part, they want what we want. Love, affection, acceptance and yes trust. We don't as women hold the corner on the market of learning to trust again.
These baby steps I am talking about. Here is an example. A man says he will call in the next few days. Until he gives you reason to not believe him, you must trust him to keep his word. This means that after day one or two, you don't go sending any texts or initiating contact. He will see that for what it is. You inability to trust, you lack of faith in him so to speak. Insecurity. That is exactly what it is. This initiating is far from trust. It's a sure sign to a man that you may be emotionally dependent on him in the future.
Coolest thing happens when you exercise that patience and give him the opportunity to prove himself to you without any cajoling on your part. He is actually more compelled to step up and do what he said he was going to do. When he does do what he says he will do, you don't react by saying something like "I thought you weren't going to call". or "Why didn't you call earllier?". You reply more along the lines "Hello, it's so nice to hear your voice
.
This is reinforcement. Another point here is this. When you lean back and trust him, he notices. You stand out in his mind. It motivates him to give you more reasons to trust. Also how much better does it feel to you when he actually does keep his word, make that call and you didn't have to do a thing. The more you do this the more comfortable you will become because you are getting postive reinforcement for your trusting.
Patience plays a huge role in trust. They go hand in hand. If a man tells me he is going to do something, I forget it and trust that he will. It may not be in my time frame, but usually more times than not, he does what he says he will do. If not, well that is a man you don't have to accept into your world, period. A case of he is not that into you possibly. Learning to trust again doesn't mean accepting into your lives men or people in general that can't be trusted. There are some of those out there, though I think they are few and far between.
Men don't think like we do.
Another example here. A man made a date with you for Friday. It's Thursday and he hasn't confirmed. You start freaking, wondering if the date is still on or is he going to disappear. This is a tough one, but still you have to trust. The best way to practice this is to just get ready for the date and trust it is going to happen. Worst case, he flakes on you, you go out anyway and flirt like crazy and write that one off. Best case he shows up and your date goes according to plan. Now I can't just leave this situation here like this. I have to add one more thing. For a man not to confirm and leave you wondering at the last miinute, well you do need to address this gracefully on your date and let him know you really do want confirmation. That's called placing down a barrier.
I challenge you to start taking baby steps to trust men The more you practice it, the more natural it becomes. Men sense this in you and you will find men rarely let you down anymore. It all comes from within you. Men can sense that insecurity which translates to lack of trust in a woman. This causes them to disappear which as a result never breaks your cycle. You keep getting confirmation that you can't trust again. The viciuos cycle in your life will never end.
Baby steps ladies, lean back and learn how to trust again. It inspires them to be better men.
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