Tuesday, January 25, 2011

How To Turn the Tables When He Says He Needs Space

If your guy just told you he needs his space, you very likely are confused, maybe even in a panic. Has he met someone else? Has he lost interest? Is he about to dump you?

Now any of these cases may be true. The more likely case though is he is feeling trapped, maybe smothered by you. Now you may think you aren't making him feel this way, but often times it's little things you do that makes him feel this.

Maybe you are asking questions, like where he is, when is he calling, who is he with, things like that. This sets that huge fear that all men have into action. The fear of losing their freedom. You can't force a man to give up his freedom, if he wants to sacrifice this, it has to be at his pace and his choice. Otherwise, he is going to pull away.

Men also start feeling trapped when you show insecurity. Maybe you whine a little because he spends Friday with the guys and not you. Maybe he is working too much or didn't call you and you mentioned this to him. He starts feeling he is the center of your world and responsible for your happiness. This will make a man run for his space of cave faster than a speeding bullet.

Now let's say you have done some of the above or for some reason you don't understand, he just wants his space. What you have to do is give it to him. Don't ask him questions like "How long?", "Why?", etc... Let him have it, lots of it, happily. Not so easy to do I know, but if you put up resistance, you are going to reinforce the reason he wants his space to start with.

If you follow behind a man who has told you he wants his space, you are in essence not trusting him. You aren't trusting his judgement, nor respecting his wishes. A man has to be trusted to feel safe. Safety is big and something a man has to feel with you to commit.

If a man asks for space, and you give it to him happily and drama free, it shows him you can keep your head together. It also is the opposite of what he expects. He has been through it before and I am sure the woman before you held on tightly, thus pushing him further away. The woman who lets him go, and continues on living her life and living it well, turns his head and turns the table.

This drama free woman earns his respect. He also may start to wonder if you are as into him as he thought, which sparks his imagination. His imagination is your best weapon. This recreates the challenge for him, which also acts to recreate the spark that may have fizzled out. If a man needs his space, surprise him, give it to him, lots of it.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

7 Signs He Wants A Relationship

Dating a new guy can be stressful at times. In the beginning you don't really know if he sees you as casual or if he actually does want a relationship. Guys in the early dating stages really are testing you to see if you are relationship material. Excluding the players of course. They want to see what you are made of.

Guys fear that you will turn into a high maintenance drama queen. Keep this in mind, as even if he does want a relationship, the drama queen will scare him away. He will leave you in the dust and search elsewhere.

There are signs that men who want a relationship show. Below are 7 sure signs this is what he is looking for and that he sees you as a potential.

1. He calls you and keeps in contact on a consistent basis. He doesn't go overboard though. If a man is calling almost daily or texting, he is interested. Beware of the man that calls or texts constantly in the beginning. Chances are he is looking for a relationship, but with the first woman that comes along, you really aren't that special. The chronic texter and caller does this to all women, not just you.

2. He makes plans ahead of time and doesn't call you at the last minute. He picks you up, takes you out and pays for the date. Even if he doesn't have a lot of money, he still takes charge and wants to make sure you have a good time with him. This does not mean always going to his house. He takes you out in public, he is proud of you.

3. If you are wondering does he want a relationship, another sign is he is truly interested in your daily life. He asks about your friends, school, work etc...He takes an interest in that which interests you. The fact that he pays attention to what interests you speaks volumes.

4. He shares his daily life with you. He wants to tell you about his day. He tells you stories about his friends and family. He talks about his pets, his interests.

5. He introduces you to friends, family and coworkers. If these people in his life know you exist, chances are good he does want a relationship with you. If they all know your name, you are in.

6. He talks about the future. He may ask you to a concert that is a month away. If he is making plans that are in the distant future and is including you, he sees you as long term.

7. He uses the term "we", not just I. When he is talking to others he makes sure they know that you are a couple and that you have done things together. He doesn't falter or avoid the term "we". A guy that proudly utters the word we, well you don't have to ask, "does he want a relationship ", he likely does.

Monday, January 17, 2011

How To Handle It When He Stops Calling

There are many reasons why men stop calling, but usually they are feeling pressure. You may not even be aware you are putting this pressure on a guy. Often what happens is when we meet a guy we like, we automatically start seeing him as a potential boyfriend. We unknowingly start acting accordingly.

Maybe you questioned him about when he was going to call or when would you see him again. This is really the role for him to play, not you. When you start questioning him, like where he is, who was there, and you do it in the first stages of dating he starts thinking, wow, what's she going to be like down the road if this gets serious.

So if he stopped calling you for whatever reason the worst thing you can do is reach out to him. If you start calling him, texting him and asking questions, well he is going to know pretty quick that you are putting all of your hopes on him. This is a lot of pressure and will cause a man to run for the hills fast.

When a man stops calling, the best thing you can do is nothing. Don't pick up the phone, don't ask him why, don't text, email or do a drive by. Don't find an excuse to run into him. Any of these things again will make him feel you are placing too much responsibility on him for your happiness. This kind of pressure sends him running further.

When he stops calling, if you do nothing, the pressure is gone. He is also likely to be intrigued. He may then start thinking you aren't all that into him after all. This makes you once again a challenge. He feels safe again and is more likely to call you again. As with anything there is no guarantee. The chances though, if you just leave him be are greater that he will call you again.

When he stops calling if you do nothing, he may see you are drama free and feel safe to contact you again. Men have to feel safe. If you call, ask for explanations it often appears to him that you feel a sense of entitlement which is a huge turn off for a guy.

Have you ever said to one of your girlfriends, "Why is it the ones I don't like call me and the ones I do like stop calling?". There is a reason you like the ones that don't call. They are a challenge. Remember this, it works both ways. Guys talk the same talk to their buds. They often chase the one who seems not so into them. So next time you thing about calling a guy who stopped calling you, remember this.

Rules for calling men are critical in dating. The way you use the phone with texts and calls can kill your dating and make men disappear. Learn when and when not to call men and how these techniques can build intense attraction in men.
What Men Secretly Want

Sunday, January 16, 2011

If He Broke Up With You - Never Agree To Be His Friend

If your man just broke up with you, the missing him is agonizing. You just want to talk to him, hear his voice. You will settle for a friendly talk just to ease your pain. First off contact with an ex is detrimental to ever getting back together, but that is another topic. If you talk to him, be his friend, you are actually easing his transition and making yours harder. If you want him back, you must not be his friend now let me explain why.

I know a woman who insisted that if she remained friends with her ex, he would eventually see the error of his ways. He would realize how great she really was and come back to her. So they remained friends, for about 2 months that is. He felt comfortable that she was ok, and he moved forward with his life. Two months into this friendship, guess what? He is dating someone new and it seems pretty serious. Being his friend backfired, she didn't get her man back.

All this woman did was ease his transition and help him move forward easily. He never had the opportunity to miss her. He ended the romance, but she remained his friend, thus he never felt the loss. To get a man back, he has to feel the pain and the loss. This doesn't usually happen right away with men. It takes a while, they process a break up differently.

So since he never felt the pain or loss, he never missed her because she was right there, his loyal friend. Wow, the best of both worlds. He can keep the old girlfriend as a friend and seek a new exciting romance with another. This happens almost every time you remain friends with an ex.

Look at it like this. He dumped you. He made his bed. Now there you are making it all comfortable for him. It's like giving him an extra pillow, extra blankets, making him warm and cozy in this new bed of freedom he made. Why on earth would he leave it and come back to you. He won't. This is no way to get your man back.

If a man dumps you but wants to remain friends or if you think being his friend will get him back, think again. It's like telling him it's fine to dump you, and it really isn't. He gave up the right to have you as a friend, he gave up all rights to you when he tossed your heart aside. He made his bed, if you want him back, let him lie in it and feel the loss completely. If you want him back, stay away from being his friend.

What you do and don't do after a break up is critical. If you want any snowballs chance of getting him back, mustn't be his friend.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Will a Commtiment Phobic Man Ever Marry

I received and email from a woman not too long ago about her relationship. It really was great except for one thing. They had been dating for 3 years with no plans for the future. She was ready to throw in the towel. She had resigned herself to the fact that he was a commitment phobic man and would never marry. She was getting the feeling she was wasting her time.

The fact is, almost all men do want a loving relationship. Even the commitment phobic. After talking with this woman it was obvious the man cared and loved her, but he wasn't ready nor saw any reason to commit. It's not broken, why fix it attitude. Many commitment phobic men have this attitude.

She had tried everything. She gave more love, more affection, more attention. He didn't seem to notice or appreciate her efforts. She was becoming resentful. I pointed out to her that if it wasn't working, why keep doing the same thing. We all know that insanity definition.

She didn't dump him, but she put some serious distance between them. She started building her life and even opened her eyes to other men, even though she wasn't dating. Gradually she went from him being the center of her universe, to placing herself as the center. At first since it was gradual, he didn't really notice.

One Saturday night which was always their date night she turned him down for a sleep over with some old girlfriends she had lost touch with. She didn't call him at all that night, she was having fun. Next morning she got a call from him which was unusual. Seems she had his attention. She mostly started pulling away from him slowly.

She didn't stop there. She kept building her life. She even declined a date so she could color her hair one night instead. Imagine being rejected for Lady Clairol. Something happened in this man's mind. He started thinking maybe he wasn't all that important to him. He felt her slipping away. All of a sudden she was a challenge. She was interesting again and his spark rekindled. Suddenly this commitment phobic man was now her adoring man.

Three months later this commitment phobic man proposed. Commitment phobic men can be turned around.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Top Reasons Why Men Disappear - It's About Eggs Again

It happens a lot, women meet and interesting man, have some great dates, good connection and then the radio silence. He stops calling as often and you can feel him distancing from you. You wonder what you did or what exactly made him disappear. One of the main reasons why men disappear is about your eggs in his basket.

Have you ever heard the term "don't put all of your eggs in one basket"? In the dating world I associate that with putting all your hopes on one guy. Often a woman meets a man, she likes him and instantly she stops dating others, she closes all doors to other options. She thinks this is logical. The guy is showing interest, calling, taking her out so why shouldn't she give him a chance and give him all of her attention? Slow down sister, if you do this you will soon be asking why he disappeared.

For starters, usually the guy isn't on the same page. Not in the beginning. Men aren't in a hurry to jump into a relationship. If you put all of your eggs in his basket early in the dating game, he is going to be overwhelmed. He now has to be responsible for all of your eggs. Wow! That's a lot of responsibility. Men sense it when you put all your hopes onto them. It overwhelms a man and you are left wondering why he disappeared.

If you just put all your eggs in his basket, he doesn't have to work to get your eggs. You just fell into the girlfriend role without him having to put anything into it. That doesn't make you much of a challenge does it? It's the woman who makes him work to get those eggs that wins his heart, not the woman who just gives them away.

Men really don't like instant relationships. It takes all the fun out of it. The thrill of the chase or should I say the Easter Egg Hunt. Women approach dating differently more times than not. They are looking for a permanent partner. Often their biological clock is ticking. Men don't have this problem. They approach dating as fun and if the woman excites him, just gives glimpses of her eggs this offers him a challenge, he goes into full pursuit.

If you are truly looking for a life partner, it's best to scatter your eggs. You can't possibly know if this one man after a few dates even knows how to care for your eggs. He may leave them in the sun, he may drop them and break them. Then where are you left? Eggless because you gave them all to him.

Date others, have a life. Distribute your eggs around so that if one man drops the basket, all won't be lost. See which man handles your eggs the best. The man that works for your eggs will be the one to invest hope into. So many woman hang onto the men that disappear or put all of their eggs in the basket of the wrong man.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Dating Men - Think Eggs and Baskets

So you are in the dating pool again. I am sure you want to be smart about it. There are so many mistakes we can make and sometimes face it, we aren't the best judge of these dating partners. We accept men into our lives who are commitment phobics, or players, or worse have some sort of addiction. We are in over our heads before we realize it and then the heart is involved and it's too late. How to avoid this.

When you are dating men, first off don't put all your eggs into one man's basket too soon. Lots of times a woman will go on a few dates, really like the guy then she stops dating others. She wants to give this guy a shot. That's all fine and well, but hold on sista. Do you really know yet if he knows how to handle your eggs?

Chances are if you have put all others on hold and placed your eggs all in this one guys basket you have just made a big mistake. This is a huge responsibility for a man. Eggs are fragile, if he has them all and drops the basket, well now what? Men don't want all this responsibility. Not right out the gate. I mean if a guy had just been on a few dates with me and said here is all my eggs, I trust you will take good care of them I would be a bit overwhelmed.

You scatter these eggs, meaning you date other men. Your goal is to pick the man that best takes care of your eggs. If a guy truly wants to invest into you, well he is going to want to move your eggs himself. You won't have to do it for him.

So look at dating as finding the man who can best take care of your eggs. If he values you he will be willing to work for those precious eggs and put in the investment to take care of them. Don't put the eggs there for him. Just keep dating until you find a man willing to invest into you and your eggs.

If you truly want to learn how to date without drama and how to inspire a man to want your eggs and yours alone click here.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Calling Men - It''s In Your Attitude Sistas!

You wonder how attitude plays into calling men or texting. It does a lot. I can't tell you how many times I have been asked the question "He hasn't called me in days, should I call him, maybe he thinks I am not interested". The answer is, no you should not call him. The truth here is a man who is into you will call you and he will text you on a regular basis. If he doesn't well here is where the attitude comes in.

Your attitude should be the "Next" attitude. If he isn't calling, keep your options open and go onto the next guy. You are way more valuable than this. You are the prize. If he can't manage a simple phone call, well down the road what is it going to be like? Once you adapt and believe this attitude, you won't really care so much if a man calls or not. You will never be sitting by the phone waiting or depending on it again. When it comes to calling men, remember sister, it's all about you. You shouldn't be calling men, they should be calling you period, end of discussion. A man that is into you will be calling and texting. If he is not consistent in his calling and texting, chances are good you are just an option. Don't call him. You are better than that. You aren't desperate.

Once you adapt the right attitude, men seem to know this. They sense it. It makes you more desirable when you aren't making him the center of your world. A funny thing starts to happen. Men start calling more. If a guy doesn't call you and you reach out to him you are doing the heavy lifting. You are telling him you are willing to invest more into him than he has to invest into you. If you are having to lead the relationship and initiate most of the calls and texts, well something is seriously wrong. Rarely will calling men get you anywhere.

There are many calling men rules, but if you have the right attitude, that's really all you will need. I am not waiting by the phone for any man attitude. I am not making any man a priority when he is only making me an option attitude. Whatever you do, don't start calling men or texting men first. It takes away the chase and you steal his fun. If he is not calling you, no excuses. Excuses are what we make when we want to think of a logical reason why he isn't calling. Trust me, there rarely is one. Get busy and forget about him.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Find Mr. Right Online - Yep It Can Be Done

Dating can be so discouraging. I know so many women now who are really tired. Seems like one frog after the other. Dating online can be crazy. If you have tried it, you know. It's all in your approach though and a lot to do with attitude.

Find The One Online

We invest so much into our careers. When we are looking for a job, we don't settle, we go on interview after interview. We go to school, take classes to better our chances. We invest into it in hopes of finding our life dream. Dating should be no different.

If you really want to find a mate, you have to take the time, put in the effort and actually invest into it. You have to take it serious. Look at it like you do looking for that dream job. You may go on tons of interviews before you find it.

In online dating, it's like window shopping. You are actually more in control if you are dating online. I know a woman who actually kept a spread sheet of her dating experiences. She went on 44 dates before she found Mr. Right. Her spread sheet is now framed and hanging on a wall. She was serious, and she was successful.

I know there are tons of free dating sites out there and I have used them. I have also used the paid ones as well. From my experience and that of hundreds of other women I associate with, the paid ones do produce better results. If a man is willing to pay for the site, well he is much more serious about finding a woman and chances are he isn't a flake and is really looking for a relationship and not just a fling. Keep this in mind when dating online.

Take time to perfect your profile. Find out what works and what doesn't. It really does pay to invest into this. There are many great products out there that will walk you through the entire process from profile writing, pics, down to sending and answering emails. Don't you make sure your resume is perfect before you put it out there?

I have researched many of these programs to help you online and by far the best is by Evan Mark Katz. He has a great success rate. Find The One Online

This is a new year! If what you have been doing isn't working for you so far, change it. You know the definition of insanity right? The statistics for people finding the one online is increasing.

Just in the last month I have gotten 3 emails from women who have found love online. Why not give it a try? If you are out there dating, meeting men in real life that is great, but why not up your odds by 200% by going online.

Do what it takes. Operate like it is a career. Invest the time and energy and don't give up. Date more than one guy. They are candidates interviewing for a spot in your life forever. Take it serious and invest. He is out there and he might just be a click away.

Find The One Online