Friday, September 30, 2011

How To Trust Your Boyfriend

One of the first issues in how to trust your boyfriend is does he deserve to be trusted. In other words is you lack of trust justified? Is it your insecurity or has he shown you that he can't be trusted? This is step one in trusting your boyfriend. If he has cheated on you or lied to you in the past, I am not going to suggest you learn to trust him. You may want to consider dumping him if that is the case. If you are striving to trust a man that can't be trusted, I can't help you.

If on the other hand he treats you with respect, and is a good boyfriend and puts you first, then yes, you must learn to trust him or you will lose him. If he has given you no reason not to trust him and you still check up on him, then you very well may be carrying your past baggage forward into this current relationship. This is not fair to him and can be emotionally exhausting for him. Men thrive on making their woman happy and if she is constantly seeking reassurance from him, he senses her unhappiness. Careful here, this man will get tired of justifying his actions and he will seek out a woman that does trust him and that is easier to make happy.

Baby steps is how to trust your boyfriend. Here is an example of a baby step. Let's say you like to hear from him by a certain time everyday. Do you find yourself reaching out to him when you haven't heard from him yet? Do you text, call or email? This is you trying to control the outcome. Practice not reaching to him. Trust that yes he will call you. Wait. No prodding. Then when he calls it is a baby step of positive reinforcement that yes you can trust him to do what he says he will do. It reinforces this to you that you can trust him, and it also reinforces in his mind that you trust him. Men need trust as do women to thrive in a relationship. Learning how to trust your boyfriend is essential to a happy healthy relationship.

I know a lot of women that get antsy when their boyfriends have not made weekend plans with them. They start worrying about this on Monday and it just gets worse as the week progresses. They stress, analyze and worry. Wednesday or Thursday come and they can't stand it. They again reach out and ask him what are the plans for the weekend or make suggestions. They don't trust him to follow through. If the man isn't including you of his own free will on weekends, he isn't really a good boyfriend in the first place.

So when learning how to trust you boyfriend, understand that there is more to trust than if he is going to cheat on you are not. It's trusting that he can make the right decision, that he does have your best interest at heart. Practice trusting him on the little things and the big things will fall in place. A man that has a woman's trust will rarely want to let her down. It inspires him when he feels trusted.

If you can't learn how to trust your boyfriend, he will eventually find a woman who understands him and you may be left behind. I can't tell you enough how important trusting your boyfriend is. It's one of the 5 main things he needs from you.

Women Men Adore.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6594242

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

If Your Boyfriend Has a Fear Of Commitment

If your boyfriend has a fear of commitment, first are you sure he has this fear?  You want to be sure that is the case and that it's not just a matter of he doesn't want to commit to you.  Look at his past.  Has he had a number of short term relationships?  Has he jumped from one to the other?  Does this fear transfer into other areas of his life such as does he struggle to commit to other things as well such as work or outings with friends?  If you answered yes, he may suffer from commitment phobia.

What makes it so difficult being in love with a man with a fear of commitent is the emotional roller coaster ride you stay on.  Commitment phobic men crave the very thing that they fear.  Closeness, love and connection.  They seek this out, then once they get it they distance again.  It's back and forth and you are stuck in the middle.

What happens is he pulls you close and you have an amazing night or few days together.  It feels like he is so present with you.  This never lasts.  The very man that was so wonderful at one moment will distance again down the road, maybe days or weeks later.  It gets to be a pattern and you are hooked on the good times.  You get stuck in his patern of seduction and rejection.

If the man you love has this yo yo behavior, it's tough. You wonder will he ever come around.  You read hope into the times that he is present.  One thing though, a man who does this does not make a good partner.  Also you may want to consider why you would settle for such a partner?  Could you have commitment issues also?

There is active commitment phobia and passive commitment phobia.  The active phobic is the one doing the running.  The passive is the one that stays with the running partner, this hindering themselves from ever having to commit and enter into a long term relationship. Any persistent behavior that actively prevents a person from making a commitment or allows a person to make excuses for not having made a commitment can be considered commitmentphobic.  It's a double edged sword here.

If you are in love with a commitment phobic you may want to question deeper why you stay with him.  I know I know, you love him.  He may love you also.  This does not mean it will work.  A man with a fear of commitment does not make a good partner that will adore, cherish and meet your needs.  He will leave you in emotional turmoil.

There are exceptions to every rule.  I have known commitment phobic men who have commited.  Usually it happens suddenly.  He meets a woman he can't imagine being without.  Next thing you know this new woman is wearing a ring.  It happens.  It takes a certain kind of woman to stay and inspire the man with the fear of commitment to commit.

 
Internet's Top Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz - offers dating and relationship advice to smart, strong, successful women... Click here to find out more!



Why Did He Lead Me On and Then Disappear

A man often does send us these signals that he is into us right from the beginning of dating. He calls, sets up dates in advance, texts and keeps in touch. You start to get excited and let your guard down. You feel good about this, after all the dating gurus say watch a man's actions and not his words right? So what happens here? Why are you are left wondering why he disappeared without a clue.
It's important to realize men often live in the moment. Sure they have goals, just not at this moment. They may give you gifts in the beginning, nice thoughtful phone calls and want to spend time with you. These things are great and hopefully they will last, but they don't always do so. The man has one goal in the moment upon meeting you. His goal is to woo you and win you. This does not always translate that he wants a commitment.
The man who you felt lead you on and disappeared may very well want a relationship. He didn't lie to you when he told you this necessarily. He really does want a relationship, he just doesn't know if he wants it with you or right now. Have you ever started dating a guy and really liked him in the beginning only to get a few weeks or even months down the road and decide he isn't really the guy for you. You still want a relationship, you just realize it's not with him. You may have even told him a relationship is what you wanted. Should you be tarred and feathered for changing your mind?
If you don't think men are motivated by winning, think again. Observe them in a group watching a ball game or race or other sport and you decide. When they meet a girl that gets their interest, their goal for the time being becomes to win her. In the beginning, you can enjoy this winning behavior, but the true test comes later.
If you have been dating a while and his efforts stay the same or increase, you may have found a keeper. If on the other hand, you notice his efforts begin to decrease, chances are he isn't in it for the long haul. Hopefully you won't be so hopelessly in love at this point that you will struggle to let him go or start making excuses for him. Hopefully you won't still try to hold on and hope that he will change his mind or be left scratching your head wondering why he disappeared.
Have you seen more than one man disappear from your life? There is a real truth to why men disappear.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6586898
 

Internet's Top Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz - offers dating and relationship advice to smart, strong, successful women... Click here to find out more!




Friday, September 23, 2011

When Should I Text Him?

Usually the time we struggle most with the question of should I text him is in the beginning of dating or when we have just met a guy we find attractive and interesting. A guy we would like to get to know. We want to reach out and push things along. This time in the beginning is when you should be texting and calling him the least.
When texting guys, it's okay to answer them if they text first of course. It's not okay to initiate. If you send the first text every time, how do you know if he is really really interested? If you think that because he always replies so he must be interested, you could be very wrong. Guys that allow the women to pursue them that they aren't pursuing are often setting you up to be the girl for now, not the girl he falls in love with. It's easy, why turn down easy?
I know women who will text a guy and if she gets no reply, she texts him again. This is not good, don't do this. If he isn't answering, there is a reason. If you are one of these women that then will think, "what if he didn't get it", chill out. Have you ever went back into your sent messages to make sure the text message actually went? If by chance he didn't get it, if he is interested, he will text you soon enough, relax. If he doesn't, he isn't that into you. You texting him again will only make you appear desperate, so no don't text him again. It's an attraction buzz killer!
I also know women who will think up reasons to text him. They have some sort of information that they feel will be of interest to him, so they use that as an excuse to make contact. The only time it's okay to text him first with such information is if is also doing the same type of sharing with you. Don't over share and don't be the first to share. Let him come to you.
As a rule when you should text him is only if he texts you first. There really is no other reason to text him unless he is your boyfriend already and your relationship is established. Texting a guy everyday like so many women do will kill his attraction, not grow it. It equals to a guy a girl who is pushing for a relationship. Pushing makes guys run.
Texting a guy the right thing at the right time can drive his attraction through the roof. You can convey mystery, allure, flirting and bring him closer with a change in your texting techniques alone.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6576775

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Should I Call Him When He Gives Me His Number

Many say get with the times, it's 2011. What's the big deal? We are equals to men right? I disagree. I still am from the old school that if a man is truly interested, he will do the initiating, but let me explain my view further.

There are now tons and tons of pick up artist communities online for starters. This is one of the techniques they teach men to make us feel more comfortable. While the intention is good, do you really feel comfortable when you place that call? If you are like most of us you wonder does he really want me to call him? What if reach him at a bad time. What if he blows me off. That fear of rejection is in us all, no sense denying it. Wouldn't it feel better actually if he called you and then you knew he was interested.

When a man tells you to call him, often it's because he just isn't interested enough to put any effort into it but would welcome a distraction or a back burner girl. There are exceptions to this rule of course, but more times than not, it a man wants to get to know you, he will ask for your number and call you.

Of course then you have the guys who are lazy, insecure, or just plain wounded from the past. They forgot how to pursue a woman or just don't feel like putting in the effort. Some of these men haven't healed and really aren't in a proper place to be in a relationship or don't actually know what it is they want. Often the man that gives you his number and says call him is one of these men.

Remember as a teenager how it felt when the guy you liked called you? You would call your girlfriends and scream with delight, even jump up and down. We may not get so carried away, but we still feel this way inside when the man we like calls us. To call him would deny us this thrill. It also denies him the thrill of the chase and the opportunity to win your attention. By calling men first you are screwing with the male/female dynamics.

So what do you do when a man gives you his number and asks you to call? Here is one solution. If you are in person, use the trick many pick up artist use, get your number in his phone right there on the spot. Say, why thank you, why don't I call you now and you can save my number in your phone. Now you do just that with him standing right there. He saves your number. Smile at him sweetly and say, "Thank you, I just called you, now it's your turn".

When it comes to calling men, the rule is don't. In a new relationship, this rule stands. You can tell how into you a man actually is by his calling and texting habits. How you handle this part of the relationship or dating process greatly determines if he stays into you or not. Knowing when and how to call or text men can and will make or break you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6571204

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Friday, September 16, 2011

How to Meet More Men

If you wonder how to meet men and you claim you never meet new men, this can be fixed. I know you have heard the phrase that if you stop looking he will appear. I am not so sure about that. I do think though that if you are only focused on meeting men, you are missing out. The secret lies in meeting people, not just men.

The more people you meet, the more you broaden you horizons. People know other people that you don't know or haven't met yet. The woman that works down the hall has a brother, son, or some single male in her life. The male co-worker has a best friend that is single or divorced. Everyone knows single people. It only makes sense to make it your effort to meet people in general and it will greatly increase your chances of meeting more men.

That being said, speak to everyone that crosses your path. Men, Women and Children. Focus on giving to others as opposed to focusing on meeting or finding a man. Smile and be friendly. Practice this with everyone. If you go into a convenience store, chat with the cashier. If you are shopping strike up a conversation with anyone. Yesterday I was in the grocery store and there was a lady talking to herself over the chicken. I simply commented to her, "So you talk to the chicken too?" We struck up a nice conversation.

Speaking to everyone also does something else. It boosts your social skills and helps with your confidence, not to mention increases your sense of well being. It's proven that humans are social creatures. We are happier when we interact with other humans. A happy woman is an attractive woman. Being a happy woman is the how to meet men.
Men are naturally drawn to happy women. The negative woman who spills nothing but negative energy is not attractive to men at all. Interact with all humans, be polite, be friendly, shine your light. When you direct your positive energy outwards towards others, a transformation begins to happen inwards. You start to glow and shine because you are happier.

Happy people attract more people. Like attracts like. If you want to know how to meet men, the secret is in focusing on meeting not just men, but all people. We are all connected, it is said by 6 degrees. In other words, the man that is for you more than likely is only 6 people or less away from you. Pretty simple concept really.
There are some women out there that are man magnets. They have no issues meeting men and seem to just be a man magnet. New Flash here, it's not about looks, it's something more. Some women repel men and don't know why, while others are women men adore.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6560770

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Charms of Southern Women - It's About Frying Chicken

Ask most Western Men and they most all will agree. There is something about the Southern Women. It's not that we are superior. I think we have a reputation made by many things. The movie Gone With The Wind for starters. The role we had to play and the obstacles we had to overcome during the Civil War is yet another thing in history that adds to our charms. 

Southern women are also known for their cooking. Now you may be wondering how this relates to our charms, so let me explain. We can fry some chicken and make those home made biscuits and gravy that not many a beau will walk away from. The key is this in the south. Knowing when to fry a chicken and when not too.

I have a girlfriend who had met a great guy. They had been on 5 dates and things were going well. She invited him over for dinner. She decided to impress him with her home cooking and fry him some chicken with all the fixens. Frying Chicken by the way takes time, and effort, lots of it. He should be honored right? Wrong! Sure he ate it, he told her it was wonderful, he got seconds, she offered to fix him a plate to go. He said no thank you. He also never called her back. Why?
While she was frying that chicken, he was thinking, wow, this woman is ready for marriage. I bet she has the dress already picked out. She is going to tie me down. In the beginning of dating, men just want to relax and aren't always thinking about a relationship yet. She blew it by frying her chicken too soon. She would have been better off to let him know in a subtle way that she could fry chicken, and let him wonder why she wasn't frying it for him.

Southern women say please, thank you, sir and mam. We can offer a glass of sweet ice tea to every man. Offering ice tea is fine. Frying chicken for him is not. I relate the stages of dating to frying chicken. We all have a chicken somewhere. Be it at the grocery store, the freezer, wherever. One of the charms of the Southern Woman is her ability to not only say please and thank you, but also no thank you. Knowing when to fry chicken is just one of the many things us southern woman understand.

Southern Women have many characteristics that they are famous for. All women posses these traits, they just haven't tapped into them yet. Learn the allure and charms of southern woman and how they get and keep their men.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

How To Let a Man Know You are Interested

The number one tool you have to show a man you are interested is your warm open smile. When he looks at you, smile, when he says something nice, smile. Smiles go for miles. If you are beating your head against a wall plotting or planning ways to hook him or show him you are interested, you are beating a dead horse. If you have to work or put in much more than warmth and a smile, you are doing too much work. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to show interest in a man.

Men if they are interested in you, will approach, they will pursue and you do nothing but let them, with a smile and a welcoming attitude that is. So many women are now doing the work. This takes away from your feminine elegance and allure. If you are the one calling or texting, then you are doing the work of a man. You say it's 2011 and times have changed. Yes they have and women are more and more successful and equal. What really draws a man in though is not this. It's your feminine essence, you being a woman. Embrace being a woman and act like a woman and you will not really need to do anything extra to show your interest.

Now there are many ways to smile. There is the slightly shy smile that has it's allure. There is the smile that makes him wonder what you are thinking. There is the smile that says you might have something a little risque on your mind. A smile can trigger many things in a man's imagination and make him feel warm and welcome. If you want to know how to show a man you are interested, smiling and being receptive to him is the key.

I get asked often by women should I call him or text him to let him know I am interested. My answer is this. Is he calling and texting you or asking you out? If he isn't, he more than likely isn't interested. You can make every excuse in the world as to why he isn't chasing after you, but the bottom line is this. When a man is interested, he will and does make the calls and texts and plans to see you. You don't have to work overtime or jump through hoops to show him you are interested. He is perfectly happy to try to gain and work for your interest.

Sure if you call or text he may sound happy to hear from you and likely he is. If you ask him out because you just happen to have tickets to this or that, he may even go. Not many men will turn down something that comes so easy to them. They will not however, more than likely build an attraction towards you long term. Sure there are exceptions, but more times than not, men like to be the pursuer.

If he isn't pursuing, he isn't ready for a relationship, or he simply isn't interested enough in you. You won't make his interest grow by showing more interest on your part. Quite the opposite. He will view you as an easy target and be happy to make you a back burner girl until one comes along with more of a challenge. How to show a man you are interested is simple, you do nothing but smile and be receptive.

You attract men with your feminine elegance, your warmth and your smile along with your attitude. Do you have that feminine elegance that causes you to be the woman men adore.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6558115

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Man Mistake Eraser #1



There are many mistakes we can make with the men in our lives.  We can act insecure, be too clingy, call too often, smother them, tell them we love them first and the list goes on and on.  There are the more severe mistakes such as cheating or lying.  Hopefully the latter two are not on your list.  Even the worst of mistakes though can be fixed.  There is one main man mistake eraser that will assist in almost every mistake we make.  Silence.  You may ask how can silence erase a mistake that you have made, so let me explain.

When men are upset, they aren't like we are.  They don't want to talk about it.  Men don't want to talk about feelings.....yet.  They need to process.  If a man is left with your silence, it forces him to think.  If you insist on talking or discussing your feelings and what went wrong, he doesn't have time to think, he just has time to be annoyed.  It also shows you as even more clingy or desperate.  If you have had a parting of ways, the best tactic you can practice is to be silent.

Often when a man is suddenly not around you or talking to you, if he is used to doing so, he may begin to miss you.  This is when a man realizes his true feelings towards you.  He won't get in touch with his feelings if you are forcing him to do so.  He needs time.  If he truly cares for you, he will remember more about the good times than the bad as he calms down. 

Several years ago, I was in a relationship with a man and yes I loved him.  I am pretty sure he loved me too.  We rarely fought, and always got along and had a really good healthy connection.  One night we did fight, he was upset and just walked out on me.  I did not know then what I know now.  I got in my car and attempted to follow him and force him to tell me what he was thinking.  He wouldn't.  I returned home only to show back up at his house the next day.  He then broke up with me for good, telling me the ole, "It's not you, it's me" and "I am not ready for a relationship".  This was after a year and his declaration that he loved me.

Would it have had a different ending had I remained silent for a few days and allowed him to calm and then come to me?  Chances are good that could have happened.  By contacting him continuously, I pushed him further away.  My chasing and talking was not a man mistake eraser.

Another thing when we screw up with men in our lives when we don't give them space happens.  The more we open our mouths and try to apologize, justify and talk, the more damage we do.  It just usually ends up reinforcing the very thing that they were upset about in the first place.  Also men expect women to behave with drama.  Be the woman that is different.  There are many man mistake erasers, but the #1 man mistake eraser is your silence.