Friday, October 28, 2011

Why He Disappeared After The First Date

Have you ever been on a first date and he didn't call back? You thought the date went great. You felt a connection and he may have even said those famous words, I will call you. Then radio silence. Day one you think well he may not want to appear desperate. Day two you think maybe he is doing the old three day waiting rule. The days go by and still nothing.

You are wondering why he disappeared. You start to analyze. Maybe I did something wrong. You go over the date in your head. Then you start analyzing him. You think things like, he did say he had a few busy days coming up at work. You justify it from his point, which translates to making excuses for why he disappeared and why he didn't call you back.


Here is the reality though. When a guy doesn't call you back and drops off the face of the earth after the first date, there is a good chance he isn't on the same page as you. Every guy is not going to fall for you, just like you aren't going to fall for every guy. After a first date, a guy really isn't invested into you, nor should you be invested into him. It's nothing personal and you shouldn't take it personal.

Dating is a process. Guys will disappear, it just is. I am sure you can think of a few guys you would have liked to disappear on as well. Have you ever avoided a man's phone calls because you just weren't that into him? It may very well have been nothing really about him personally. You just didn't feel a spark or connection. If you were into him, chances are good your heart raced when he called and you jumped to answer that phone.

Men are no different. If they like you, they will want to call you. They will want to secure that second date. They won't leave you wondering why he disappeared. Yes it's disappointing when he doesn't call you again, but it's part of life. Many women still after a guy disappears, keep trying to nudge him. They text, they call, they initiate. If you have done this, you are chasing him. How do you like it when a guy that you have ruled out keeps calling and texting you? It's annoying. That being said, the best way to handle it when men disappear is to let him. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for a one-sided relationship that may result in heart break.
If this has happened to you however, more than once, you may want to dig deeper and see if in fact there is some signal you may be sending off that makes men disappear.


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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I Don't Need a Man

I don't need a man.  This is becoming a common term today among women.  We are more independent, our lives more balanced and yes it may be true we don't need a man, to survive that is.  We also hear the longer version of this statement which is "I don't need a man to complete me".  This of course is also true, to a degree.  I think if we are truthful with ourselves, the women that say this statement generally are the one's that don't have a man in their lives.  I also think it's safe to say that women with this attitude have been hurt in the past more cases than not.  This is a common phrase among women who have just suffered a painful break up.

I agree there are some men we just don't need.  The abusive ones.  The controlling ones, the ones who have not quite grown up to name a few..  No we don't need those men.  Those types of men screw with our identity and wound our self esteem.  Those are often the men that lead us into the attitude of "I don't need a man".  I like the term I am happy with or without a man much better than "I don't need a man".  Yes we can be happy and yes when we are happy, we make better partners.  No we can't depend on a man to make us happy and yes happy comes from inside us first and foremost.  But not needing a man.  I am not in total agreement with this.

A good man, a fellow happy man, one that brings me up, accepts, loves, and adds to my life, yes I need him.  Yes he does add a completeness to my life.  This is not to be confused with he actually completes me.  He adds to the completion.

This not needing a man attitude may be the one thing standing between you and finding  a deeper love with a man.  On a subconscious level, you are reinforcing your single hood.  That law of attraction thing.  Your thoughts do create your world.  I have been told the Universe doesn't really hear the negative words such as the word don't.  So in essence you could be screaming out to the universe, I do need a man.

On a more concsious level though, you are sending a signal with this attitude to the men you encounter on a day to day basis.  If you are one of these women that wears this attitude proudly on her sleeve, you are repelling men.  No human wants to hear "I don't need you".  It feels cold.  It doesn't make men feel good.  Men are attracted to us by how we make them feel.  They want a woman who makes them feel good.  Men can feel this attitude from miles away.  The woman who makes him feel warm and welcome is the woman who won't be alone for long.  The woman with the attitude that "I love men", fairs far better than the one who goes through life with the not needing a man attitude.

If you are one of these women, men will see you as a ball buster.  A ball buster is not in tune with her feminine elegance and often remains alone.  It's the same as the men who have similiar attitudes.  How do they make you feel?  Do you want to spend time with these men who don't value women?  I seriously doubt it.

It's often our ego saying we don't need a man.  It's easier to say this and justify it to ourselves and others.  Women who claim to need a man are often looked upon as weak.  We are social beings, it's a fact.  Why is it so hard to admit that we need other human beings and yes there are two genders of this species.  Can we not go back and embrace our feminine roots and proudly claim that yes we do need a man?

Are you about to give up on love?  My friend Amy Waterman can help you.  Real Women, Real Love.
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Friday, October 21, 2011

What Does It Mean When He Needs Space

When you boyfriend says he wants space, it would be in your best interest to listen to him.  It means he is feeling crowded by you.  It means he wants time to do what he wants to do without guilt or worry.  It also usually means fear is about to set in.  Fear of losing his freedom.  Fear that you aren't the one for him.  Chances are really good that you did something to cause this fear to come up.

When he says he need space, more times than not the woman has become clingy.  She has started expecting things from him like that he check in.  Maybe she wants to know who he is with and what he is doing when he isn't with her.  This makes the man feel you are not independent of him and it makes him feel responsible for your happiness.  If he says he wants space, he may be craving the carefree days when he didn't have to worry so much about making you happy.

Many will say but he is my boyfriend and he is supposed to want to make me happy.  Yes this is true.  On the other hand, you are solely responsible for your own happiness.  Men love a happy woman.  If he feels he can't make you happy, he will leave, they always do.  More men leave relationships because they feel like it's too much like work when they have to answer for everything they do, or call in or be checked up on.  When relationships start feeling like punching a clock, the man gets scared and cries for his space.

Often women make the fatal mistake when their boyfriend wants his space of pushing him even further.  They start asking questions like, Why?  Am I not enough for you? How long?  Will you come back?  This is just smothering him even more and reinforcing why he needs space in the first place.

What it means in a nutshell when he needs space is that if you don't give it to him, a break up is inevitable.  It's going to happen in time.  Give him his space happily and guilt free and keep living your life in the meantime.  It's often difficult to trust that he will come back, but that is your only hope really.  If you have made the mistake of smothering him, this is the only way to correct it.  Don't wait until it's too late and he is too scared to give you a second chance.

What Is He Thinking?

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Friday, October 14, 2011

Getting Him to Open Up

Signs He Is Not Ready For a Relationship

There are many men out there who are faithful to one woman yet never commit to her. They may date only her, but never step it up to the next level. This is all fine and well for a while, but if the woman wants more, such as marriage, she may be barking up the wrong tree. The sad thing is often the woman gets in too deep. She is treated well and doesn't see it coming. When it hits her, she is already in love.

There are flags and signs that this man isn't ready for a relationship or won't commit to a relationship. One sign is how deeply involved in his life are you? If you have been dating a while and he has slotted time for you every week, although you are in his life it may not be that deeply. A man can take you out every Saturday night, call you every single day, share his day with you verbally and still not be ready for a relationship. These are surface things that are easy to do.

If he on the other hand takes you to Sunday dinner at his moms, or involves you with his family, and you do day to day activities together such as grocery shop, you are more involved. The man not ready for a relationship will give you just enough to keep you around.

Another sign a man is not ready for a relationship is if something hits the fan, he isn't really there for you. Say your mom is in the hospital. A man not ready for a relationship is not going to insist on visiting her. A man who is ready will. It may even be his idea. He cares very much about your well being. He isn't well if you aren't well. A man not ready will usually put himself first when it comes right down to it.

If he is not ready for a relationship, you may hear excuses why he can't do certain things that you want to do. He may not want to go to a party your friend is having. You may hear him making excuses why he can't just come over and watch tv with you or why he can't stay the night. He has to get up early. A man in love will lose sleep to be with you. Eventually you stop expecting him to do these things. Sometimes the man will even make you feel something is wrong with you for wanting such things. It's not, nothing is wrong with you. You are ready for a relationship and he is not.

Many women have boyfriends, but that does not translate to a a real commitment in all cases. If you feel resistance from your boyfriend in any area, he may not be seeing you as his dream girl and he may not be as committed to your relationship as you think or hope.

Inspire Him To Commit 



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6622151

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Texting Guys-One Big Tip to Up Your Text Appeal

The use of that laugh out loud, also known as lol at the end of your text could be hurting you.  Do you know people that can't send a text message without putting this at the end of it?  I know I do.  It drives me crazy.  I get a visual of the person sending it laughing at everything, even things that aren't funny.  Not a pretty picture.  Men are visual creatures.  Need I say more.

I know it sounds silly but really think about it.  When texting a guy do you need to tell him you find something funny.  Try substituting that lol with a "Now that's funny".  More personal for sure.  You are trying to build attraction here and sure a good sense of humor is attractive, but come on.  To end almost every text with that is just lame.  For more text appeal, replace that lol at the end of a sentence with something that speaks more directly to him.  Every one sends a lol, but not everyone takes the time to type out something creative to take it's place.

It also shows that you aren't confident in yourself when you use it all the time.  If you have to tell a guy you are laughing, well it's sort of defeating the purpose. You don't trust yourself enough to trust him to know you are actually laughing in some cases.  It's more powerful  when texting guys to let him wonder a bit if you found something funny or not.  It makes him try harder.  It's more of a challenge.  To send a lol is like saying, you should like me, I laugh at your jokes.  Pick me!  I am in agreement with you sort of thing.
The lol does have it's purpose. It's a great way to end a texting session.  Ever get a lol and nothing more when texting a guy?  Not much you can reply to that is it?  Ending a texting conversation first is a good way to have more text appeal.  Leave him while the conversation is good and he will be wanting more.  The lol is perfect for this.

On the other hand if he texts you a lol, stop texting him period.  It's a cut off.  To keep texting seems just desperate and will deminish your text appeal fast. A lol sent and nothing else is like a period, the end.  It takes little effort and is often saved as a pre-written message.  The lmao is no different by the way.  Use it sparingly to keep your text appeal in tact. The use of lol is just one of the many tips to increase your textual attraction. 

TEXT APPEAL!