Monday, January 23, 2012

How To Make a Man Happy

What makes a man happy?  Most women searching for this answer on the web are hoping to find something they can do or a certain way to act that makes him happy.  Some search for ways to make their men happier in the bedroom thinking this is a way to make him happy.  It doesn't hurt, I will give you that.  It's not the key to a man's happiness though.  The key to a man's happiness does not lie in what you can do for him, or what or how much you give to him.  It's more about what he can give to you that makes him happy.

I am going to share a little story about my friend Dee.  Dee is a pleaser.  We all love a pleaser, they make life so much easier don't they.  Does all their giving though make you happy?  Don't you really feel happy when you are the giver?  Men are no exception to this rule.  Dee I suspect even looks for small reasons and things to give her man and I must say, he is now drifting away and she doesn't get it at all.

I went with Dee to a cookout at her guys house.  Dee was calling offering to bring something, or stop by the store.  He said he had it covered.  Then she thought ahead.  They might run out of beer.  She stopped and bought a case to take.  We got to his house and she pulls out a bag that I didn't know was there.  Inside were some odds and ends, cooking utensils, extra ashtrays, just stuff.  She thought these things would make him happy.  

He didn't ask her for anything, he just invited her to a cookout.  These extras were in his mind sort of telling him "I know you said you had it covered, but just in case".  If she wanted to truly make him happy the best thing she could have done was to show up and enjoy herself and let him know how much she appreciated it.  Appreciation is huge to men by the way, a key in how to make a man happy.

Here comes another issue with the above situation.  She always brings things over, does things.  In her mind she is giving and then when he doesn't give back, she is disappointed.  Next thing you know she may be complaining and wondering why he doesn't do the same for her.  Resentment created by your own hands.

If you want to make know how to make a man happy, consider letting him make you happy instead.  That's all men really want, to be able to make you happy.  That is the secret to how to make a man happy.  When it begins to seem like work to make you happy, the thrill is gone.

Monday, January 16, 2012

How To Keep Your Man Happy - A Huge Key

So, how to keep your man happy?  Many come to me asking for advice as to what they can do to keep their man happy.  Many are thinking along the lines of what can they do for him or give to him that will make him happy.  They are missing the key by a mile.  Doing things for him or giving him gifts does not necessarily make a man happy.  That is what makes a woman happy.  Men really aren't wired like we are.  Over giving or over compensating can have a negative affect on a man.  He begins to feel obligated.  This is often when over time you will hear the man say something along the lines of "You deserve better".  By over giving, you are setting yourself up for this famous line.

A huge key in keeping a man happy is in appreciation.  Show him and tell him you appreciate him.  Not by giving back to him, but by simply appreciating him, even in the simplest ways. I think often we let the little things slide.  Then he stops doing the little things and we are left searching for a way to get it back.  Then you express verbally the little things are missing.  This just reinforces to him that he can't make you happy.  Oh the vicious cycle begins here.  Then comes the distance, then you asking even more what's wrong, him feeling even more he can't make you happy.  The fastest way not keep your man happy is for him to feel he can't make you happy.

I got an email the other day from a young lady telling me her boyfriend just didn't do the little things he used to do.  He no longer opened her car door, she hadn't gotten flowers in months, he never sent her thinking about you text and the list went on and on.  I asked her had she ever mentioned to him that she really liked the fact that he opened her car door or told him it made her feel really warm inside.  Of course she hadn't.  Her response to his thinking about you texts was always "thinking about you too".  Had she told him instead that she loved his texts and how they enhanced her day, chances are slimmer that they would have stopped. Men not only love feeling appreciated, they need it to thrive in a relationship. 

When I show my guy I appreciate him, I swear he grows 3 inches taller.  He beams and gets this satisfied look on his face.  The result, he never stops doing those amazing little things.  We need these amazing little things ourselves to thrive in a relationship.  Inspire him to give you what you need.  Tell him next time he does something simple for you.  The rewards are quite worth it.  This is a key on how to keep your man happy in a relationship.  Men really are easy.

Men made easy

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