Wednesday, December 29, 2010

He Says He Needs Space - Are You Losing Him

Usually when a man says he needs his space it is a warning sign that something doesn't feel right with him. He may feel smothered. He may feel fear at the loss of his freedom. One thing is for sure though, if a man says he needs his space, you best give it to him or you very well may lose him for good.

The worst thing you can do when a man says he needs his space is to hold on tighter or try harder to convince him that you are the one for him. This just reinforces the fact that he is smothered, you may be controlling and he may indeed have the urge to run. Most times when a man says he needs his space, you are about to lose him.

For a man to fall in love with you, he needs to think about you and to think about you, he needs to miss you. If he said he needed space, well he sure isn't missing you is he? If he said he needs his space, you can rest assured you have been around too much. Maybe you are calling him, wanting to know what he is doing. He sees this as checking up on him and a huge threat to his freedom.

Here is a true story about how a woman gave a man his space by accident and turned her relationship around. Sherry and Matt had been dating for about 6 months. Matt started calling less, and the distancing himself. After she asked him several times what was going on, he finally told her he needed his space. She was distraught. He was losing interest. She was sure she was losing him. Fact is, she later found out, she was in losing him.

As fate would have it though, Sherry got a contract with her employer where she had to go out of town for weeks at the time. From her hotel room, her phone got poor reception. She couldn't call him and he couldn't call her. She had no choice, she gave him his space. It was killing her. She wanted to talk to him, convince him that it could work.

Why He Disappeared!

Funny thing happened. Matt wasn't hearing from Sherry much anymore. He started wondering if she had moved on. He started missing her. He started thinking about her. She came home for the weekend and they had a great time. Monday though, she had to leave again. This time Matt made arrangements of a time they could talk. Space? Matt forgot all about how he needed his space. The distance between him and Sherry reignited his attraction for her.

Why He Disappeared!

What happened here is that Sherry wasn't always available anymore. This made him start thinking about her. A man can't think about you if you are always around. To fall in love, a man has to think about you. If your guy says he wants his space, and you don't want to lose him for good, give it to him. Allow him to miss you. Don't be one of those women who are wondering why he disappeared.

Why He Disappeared!

Monday, December 27, 2010

He Says He Doesn't Want a Relationship -What to Do

One thing is for sure when he says he doesn't want a relationship something is wrong, he's not feeling it for some reason. You probably have a million questions for him. You want to know why. Is there someone else? Does he want to date other women? Is it something you did? Can you fix it?

The fact of the matter is you can't convince a guy to be in a relationship with you. He has to feel it and words won't make him feel it for you. Maybe he just got scared, who knows, but when a guy says he doesn't want a relationship with you, for the moment, you have to believe him. The more you question, convince, bargain, the further away you will push him.

It's a good chance that he felt smothered, or he felt you were getting too serious too fast. Maybe you were acting too much like a girlfriend before he was ready. Men like a challenge. If he was coming on strong and you just fell right into the role of couple hood, his challenge may have ended too soon and he became bored.

The last man to tell me he didn't want a relationship with me I believed him. How you react to this can determine if he will or will not come back around. If you hold on tighter, he is not going to ever be yours. When I was told that, I was prepared. I felt the distance before hand. I replied in agreement, not what he expected. He expected drama.

When he says he doesn't want a relationship, agree with him. Tell him that you understand, he can't help what he does or doesn't feel. Yes, you are disappointed, but you deserve a man who does know what he wants and a man who is able to be in a relationship with you. Thank him for his honesty and letting you go to find what you deserve, then shut him down. Go no contact.

This will get his attention. He is used to women trying to fix it, not a woman who is taking care of her own heart. His respect for you will shot through the roof. I know this is hard, but it's the only way to get his attention, do the unpredictable. Let him walk away, and you do the same with feminine grace.

What happens during this no contact stage is he starts wondering what you are doing. Did he not mean that much to you? His imagination becomes your best weapon if you want him back. The mystery is back, you are once again a challenge. The last man that told me this and I agreed and gracefully walked away stayed gone for over a month. He did come back. I didn't keep him, but that's not the point is it?

When a man tells you he isn't ready for a relationship or he doesn't want a relationship, what he really usually means is he doesn't want a relationship with you. You haven't ignited that spark in him to compel him to commit.


Internet's Top Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz - offers dating and relationship advice to smart, strong, successful women... Click here to find out more!


Friday, December 17, 2010

Why Men Disappear After The First Few Dates

It happens, more than you know. You meet a man, have a date or a few dates, it seems great, then poof, he drops off the face of the earth. He becomes another one of the men that disappear.

You are left wondering what happened. You wonder is it something you did. You are familiar with the line "It's not you, it's me", I am sure. Well if this keeps happening to you, chances are good it is you. You may be doing something you aren't even aware of that makes men disappear.

Often women meet a man they really like and they start to stress. Will he call? Does he like me? Is he thinking long term? Is he dating others? Your mind goes into overdrive. Men can pick this up on their radar if you are stressing over them, even if you don't voice it. They know you are reading too much into it. It puts pressure on the man and this is one thing that makes men disappear.

Men live in the now. They don't go out on one date and start to visualize the future. Women often do. They start seeing couple-hood. They start behaving like a girlfriend way to soon. They obsess if he doesn't call, and start asking their girlfriends what does it mean when he says such and such. If you are analyzing his every word and every move, you are stressed and not living with him in the now. If you want to stop experiencing the men that disappear, learn to live in the present with him. Forget about where it's going and enjoy the time you are together.

Another thing women do when they start that stressing, is they start trying to control the outcome. If he hasn't called her in a few days, she picks up the phone and calls or texts him. She may even suggest they do something together. Slow down girl. The fact of the matter is men love a challenge. You can't stop a man from disappearing by holding on tighter. This is when it becomes not so fun to the guy. He is now worried about meeting your expectations. When he has to worry this soon, he thinks about what it may be like down the road. This is what makes many men disappear.

If you have just had a few dates with a man, and you want to keep him, relax and go with the flow. Enjoy his company and let him lead. A few dates does not make a relationship. If you start acting like his girlfriend or expecting boyfriend behavior from him this soon, chances are good he will be one of the men that disappear.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

If He gives You His Number and He Tells You to Call Him

Those two words, "call me", can screw with your head. If you like the guy, of course you want to believe this means he is interested in you and really wants you to call him. You may be thinking he wants you to call so he can make a date. Call me is what guys say often when ending a conversation. It's about the same as, talk to you later or see you around. It's usually said casually and you can bet if a guy says this, you don't have his interest sparked. So what do you do, should you call a guy if he asks?

When a guy says call me, usually it means he may find you attractive and if you call he may talk to you, but it's not something a guy says to a girl who he is very very interested in. If a guy is really interested, he won't ask you to call him, he will be calling you. The only exception to this is if you have been dating for a good while and he asks you to call him. If you have just met or started dating though, he is far from hooked on you yet.

A lot of women take this "call me" literally. They latch on and start calling the guy. This makes them the one doing the pursuing. It tells the guy that you are way more invested into him than he is in you. He sees a woman ready to put the girlfriend crown on and often this causes him to stop all contact and run for the hills.

When a guy says call me, what he usually wants from you is not much. He can live with or without your call. If you do call, you will be setting yourself up as a girl on the back burner. That's what guys do with the girls that do the calling for the most part. They don't see them as a challenge and no challenge means you won't be girlfriend material more than likely.

If a guy really wants to get to know you, he will be the one doing the calling, he won't be asking you to call him. When a guy tells you to call, the best thing you can do is don't. Let him wonder why you aren't so into him. This makes you more of a challenge and more attractive in his eyes. Less is more when it comes to calling men.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Texting a Man You Like

You finally met a man you really like. You hope he feels the same way. You instinctively want to reach out and touch him. What would it hurt to send a man a short little text, let him know you are interested.



Well slow down sister. If you gave him your number, he should know you are interested. When texting a man you really like, you might want to think about the texts you send to the men you really aren't all that interested in. Have you ever experienced a man you weren't that into being really into you. Why was that? How did you text him?

Chances are, you didn't always text him back or waited before you text because you really didn't care about the outcome. Oh but boy oh boy, now you like a man and you do care about the outcome. A huge reason why these other men were into you is because you were a bit hard to get. Men instinctively want what they can't have. So in essence, when texting a man you like, text him like you don't.

I am not saying you should play games here. Just don't be over eager, or don't be too available. Men value what they work hardest for. Don't answer instantly, that makes it look like you are waiting by the phone and have no life. Don't text him first, this shows him are starting to invest into him. Let him lead. Let him invest first.

It's tempting sometimes to get into the all day marathon of texting a man you like, but try to refrain, save that for when the relationship is more established. You want to give him a reason to see you. If you spill all in texting conversations, he won't be as motivated to see you. If you see your texting with a man heading into the marathon, cut it off. Tell him you have something to do and you will talk to him later. Be the first one to end the conversation. Leave him wanting more.

Less is always more when texting men. You want to be fun and mysterious. Men love the woman they can't quite figure out. Texting is fun and if done right, can build a huge level of attraction in him for you.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Signs He's in Love -Signs He's in Lust

A man falling in love will usually go that extra mile, put in that extra effort. Below are some distinct differences as to if he is in love or just in lust for the moment. So are you a priority or just an option?

Man in Love

* drives out of his way to get you
* calls you everyday
* shares his daily life with you
* will want to see you even when you look like hell
* makes sure he locks you down for weekend time,maybe all weekend
* introduces you to friends
* takes you to weddings and events as his date
* is present when things are tough
* fixes things on your car and around the house
* takes you out on dates and public places
* chooses you over seeing his friends any day
* gives up things to spend time with you, maybe a ballgame with the guys
* answers your calls, always happy to hear from you

The list above are just a few signs a man is in love or falling in love. He will get up at the crack of dawn to help you out, like drop your car off for repairs, take you to the airport, things like that. He puts his comfort on hold to make sure you are comfortable. He sincerely wants to make your life better and make you happy.

Man in Lust

* Expect you to drive out of your way to see him
* Calls you sporadically
* Life? You don't know much about his life, you know where he works, but that's about it.
* He has never seen you at your worst, he isn't around enough
* If he sees you on the weekend, it's last minute and not planned in advance
* You don't know much about his friends, maybe met a few by chance
* Goes to events solo or with the guys, you aren't invited
* If things are tough he usually isn't around
* He doesn't know when something is broken to fix or says, you need to call a plumber
* He meets you places, or at his place or yours, there are no real dates
* Parties with the guys a lot, calls you after he has been out for a while to meet up
* Says maybe he will see you when the game is over
* doesn't answer your calls all the time and is sometimes short with you on the phone.

If it's an effort for you to get your man to put in time or you feel like you have to do all the planning to see him, it's a sign he may just be in lust. A man in lust not in love puts his comfort first, unless you two are together at the time, then he may shower you with attention. If you aren't hearing from him when you are apart, this is a sure sign he isn't hooked yet. He doesn't see you as valuable as he sees himself.

If you really pay attention to a man's actions, you can see the signs he is in love. He puts in the effort and you know you are a priority. There are no days of silence, you aren't guessing where you stand. If a man isn't in love, maybe only lust, he doesn't put in extra effort, just the bare minimum to keep your attraction going. In other words, a man in love sees you as valuable and treats you like you are special.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Make Him Feel Like a Man and Draw Him Closer

Women today are more independent, we don't really need a man. It leaves a gap there, men do like to feel needed. It makes him feel like a man when you lean on him. He wants to be your hero, so below are some small things you can do to make him feel like a man. You get the idea.


* Ask him to walk you to your car. You need him to keep you safe.
* Ask him to kill all bugs. Look away when he does this.
* Get him to open a jar or lift something for you
* If you are watching a scary movie, bury your head in his chest during the bad parts
* If it's cold outside, ask him to warm your side of the bed
* Let him move any heavy piece of furniture
* Let him park your car or back it out of a tight place. Tell him he is a better driver.
* Any light bulbs you can't make it known you want him to change them
* Have him get rid of the wasp nest on your patio
* Get him to pump your gas
* Request that famous steak or burger he grill so well. Tell him you are craving it.

In essence what I am saying is appreciate him and the little things he does. Don't go overboard though. If he takes you to dinner, thank him, tell him you enjoyed it. Once is enough, you don't want to act like this is your first hot meal in years.

Praise him also. If he does something that makes you happy, tell him. If he takes out your trash, say, wow, thanks, I really didn't want to walk to the dumpster in the dark. Praise goes a long ways in making a man feel like a man and feel appreciated.

Affection is also a good way to make him feel like a man and make him want to be closer to you. Affection is also a good way to show appreciation. If he does something nice for you, smile and give him kiss or a hug. A warm receptive woman makes a man feel like a man and will bring him closer to you.

While men do love the independent woman, the one who doesn't depend on him for her happiness and center her world around him, they do want to feel needed. A man who feels needed will be more likely to open up to you and move closer. Independent women are great, but a ball buster type woman who does everything for herself and doesn't need a man isn't what he is looking for.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Before a Man Commits - 3 Things You Must Give Him

If you want commitment, you will have to deepen emotional attraction so that your man makes his decision from his emotions - feelings of being intoxicated by how you are responding to him. There are 3 things that he must have from you before a man commits. These three things will solidify his emotional attraction. These things assist to make a man commit.

Affection - Men need affection, they love it. This doesn't mean hanging all over them in public. Now men really are known for not being as affectionate as women as a rule, but that doesn't mean they don't desire it. Reciprocation is the clue. He puts his arm around you, lean in. He reaches for your hand, accept it warmly. Plant a little kiss on him, but again, don't go overboard. Some men don't do affection well while others are more open with it. Affection though, shows him you are attracted to him. Every man wants to be found attractive. Don't we all?

Know your man and his level of affection. Match it, but don't always wait for him to make the first move. If you are in a comfortable relationship though, break out of the routine every now and again and show him affection. Less though is often more. Don't smother him.

Appreciation - This is huge. For him to feel emotional attraction, he has to feel appreciated. The more a man feels appreciation, the more he will be inclined to do things to make you happy. Thank him for the things he does, but again don't go overboard. If he takes you to dinner, tell him you enjoyed it, thank him. Once is enough. If he does something for you, say change your oil, thank him. Tell him how nice it is not to have to go out in the cold and wait for an hour.

Don't underestimate appreciation. I have a friend who dumped his girl for this reason alone. He would do things for her and she would complain. He bought her white roses and she thanked him, but questioned his love because they weren't red. He gave her a funny birthday card, she wanted a mushy one. The list goes on and on. She was too much work. Appreciate what he does, men do show you they care, you just have to pay attention. He has to feel appreciated, it's a key ingredient before a man commits.

Acceptance -This is the big one. He has to feel you accept him for who he is before a man will commit to you. This means not trying to change him. Men fear women who try to change them. No man is perfect, they all have flaws. Embrace his flaws as a part of who he is and accept them, unless of course he is abusive or an addict, but that goes without saying right?

If he likes his space at times or likes a night out with the boys watching sports drinking beer, don't nag him to change his agenda or whine because you are left out. Accept it, thus accepting him. When you accept a man, it conveys to him that you trust him. A man has to feel your trust before he commits to you.

Friday, December 3, 2010

What Makes a Man Fall In Love

For a man to fall in love, he has to feel it in his heart, to the core of his being that life without you would just be awful. A lot of women give more to a man and make a lot of sacrifices and think this is going to win his heart. That's not it. It's not really about what you give, but more so in what you hold back. Trust me, men don't sit around and think about all the great things you do for them. They think more about the things they don't know about you. This is what propels them to want to know more. The more a man thinks about you, the more likely he is to fall in love.

It's the woman that puts her heart first that intrigues him, the woman that he respects. The doormat or the yes girl rarely wins his heart, it's the woman that doesn't think twice about telling him no, the woman that puts her needs first that makes a man fall in love with her. This is incredibly alluring to men. It's a challenge and puts them to work to win your heart.

When a man has to put in the effort to win a woman's heart, he starts to see her as very valuable. Men value what they work hardest for. Have you ever seen a man go above and beyond for a woman. Usually if you really think about it, he is doing this for a woman who chances are, is not doing the same for him. You wonder why is he with this selfish woman. Chances are she isn't selfish, she just knows who her self really is.

The woman that bends over backwards and tries to be his helper is the woman that will be taken for granted and he won't fall in love with her. He might love her, but it will be more like a sister or mother type love. A woman who has her own life, and doesn't depend on him for her happiness is the woman that he feels safe to let his guard down with, the woman that he opens his heart to. This woman is the one that can make a man fall in love.