Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Building Emotional Attraction In a Man

First the question is, "Exactly what is emotional attraction?". It's that something that causes a man to think about you. It's that something that causes him to want to see you, talk to you. Emotional attraction is critical if a man is going to attach long term. Physical attraction can fade. It's not what keeps a man.

So what causes a man to think about you? I can assure you it's not what you do, nor is it what you say. I would be so bold as to say it's more what you don't do and what you don't say. In the beginning of a relationship, so many women start out giving so much of themselves. They try to make the man like them by giving. They think this is what women like, so men must like it too. This is not the case.

The woman who gives too much almost always loses the man. He doesn't attach because she has given all out there on a silver platter, offering up no resistance. Resistance is the key. Think about it. Your heart is precious. Why on earth would you give it away so easily.

How many times have you met a great guy. It started out moving really fast. Next thing you know you are spending almost all of your free time with him. It all seems great, that is until he starts putting that distance between you a few months down the road. The disappearing man syndrome. He disappeared because you did not build emotional attraction with him. You can't build this deep attraction if you are spending every spare moment together.

Attraction is often built in your absence. It's when he misses you that he thinks of you most. To build this attraction, he has to think about you. If you are always present, he really can't miss you and he won't spend lots of time thinking of you.

Also back to the heart. If you give it away to him so soon, it really won't be that valuable to him. I don't know about you, but my heart is pretty special to me and I am not giving it away to the first guy that swoons me. I got to know if he has substance and staying power. I have to know his character. Face it girls, you can't know this in just a few short months.

Holding back on giving away your heart and letting him work for it builds attraction. Ever had a guy tell you he was going to win your heart. That is pretty exciting for a guy. It's a challenge and if he had to win it and he should, he holds it dear.

You give him glimpses into what it would be like to have your heart. Don't give him the whole thing right up front. If you are sharing all these feelings with a guy from the beginning, you are cheating yourself. There is nothing left to learn. That is a huge key, he has to want to know more about you. The more he wants to know, the closer he will get.

In summary, I will say this. A slow simmer beats a rapid boil any day. Anticipation builds attraction in a man, no doubt. Take your focus off of instant gratification and start focusing on long term satisfaction.

Stop the men from disappearing from your life. Learn how to build deep emotional attraction with men.

1 comment:

  1. This is absolutly true...I did all the wrong things...bought gifts, made breakfast, wrote notes...he just became more and more distant and said he was not ready for a relationship. I hope I can turn it around...I am basically egnoring him now...making him want me. Wish me luck!