The following post is by my dear virtual friend I will call Je Ne. She is very experienced with online dating as a woman and I think we all could learn from her. She found her prince online after dating 42 different men, so ladies, don't give up!
Enjoy!
Find The One Online
No, not 42 dates. It was 42 different men, quite a few of them were lucky to have more than one date with me :)
My principles in this internet dating game (and early dating in general)are:
1. it is fine to establish the very first contact in an internet dating context: just a quick light witty e-mail and let him take it from there. It is like smiling at a man in real life :)
2. screening process should be simple: only respond to the e-mails that are well written and interesting by men whose profiles are well-written and interesting and whose specifics meet your criteria (these criteria should not be too strict but no point in making it too lax either, they should be helping you, not hindering you).
3. only go on dates if a man sounds interesting and interested enough.
4. no pursuing of any description: no e-mailing first (with the very first contact being an exception); no texting first; no calling the man; no travelling for a man to meet him closer to him; for the first month or better even more, no paying for anything (I do offer and men who accepted did it at their own peril :), no presents, no cooking (read why men love bitches who make popcorn :) or any other mothering; no sentimental uha-uha of any kind.
5. your only role in the early dating stage is to be yourself, light and happy and have fun. That really is your only role.
6. actually you do have another role. It is your role to pace the relationship. Men have a habit of getting carried away and want to spend too much time together too quickly. It is your role as a woman to slow things down. If you have a busy life anyway, it isn't difficult.
7. if a man doesn't call you after a date, go meh! and don't waste any time or energy wondering why. File him into a NO box as it is not practical to date men who have been abducted by aliens :) On a serious note, be thankful that the man showed his true intentions so early and failed your 2nd tier screening before being referred to any more serious category.
8. my most important 'rule' is: adopt a mindset that the dating is about the man impressing you, not the other way round. The question is whether you like him, not vice versa. It may seem like a small thing but it shifts the balance very much in your favour and gives you the role of the Queen of the World :)
9. also, it helps to have an audit of some description of the whole process, for example a spreadsheet of all these men as you don't want to get them mixed up :)
Find The One Online
ENJOY THE WEIRD AND WONDERFUL WORLD OF INTERNET DATING!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment