Stop Getting Dumped

If you keep getting dumped or hearing the line, it's not you, it's me, it's time to come to reality. What these guys really mean when they tell you this is that it is you. There is something that you are doing to kill the initial attraction. Maybe you are coming across as needy, insecure or maybe he senses drama ahead. Often we are not aware of the signals that we may be sending to men.

There are many mistakes that women make to push men away or send out these signals unknowingly. If you are doing most of the initiating calls, plans and texts, a guy will not feel you are a challenge. He may start off dating you or even enter a form of relationship with you, but if a guy does not feel challenged, his interest will fade fast.

If you keep getting dumped ask yourself are you dependent on a man to validate you and make you happy. Does he feel responsible for your happiness and that your world revolves around him? If you are always available and put him first, he starts to feel uncomfortable. A man finds a woman with walking power and a life of her own that he is incredibly drawn to. These confident, happy women rarely get dumped.

Men value that which they work hardest for. If you are too easy, you become just like all the others. To stop from getting dumped, you need to be different than the other women, you need to stand out. There is a saying, the one who cares the least in a relationship holds the power. There is a lot of truth to this statement.

Stop getting passed by and learn what a man fears the most, and what makes him run for the hills or to another woman. Learn how to be the woman he adores and never wants to leave

He says He is Not Ready for a Relationship

He may use excuses, such as work is too busy, he just got out of a relationship, or he just has some things in his life to sort out. When a man says he is not ready for a relationship, usually it means he is just not feeling the same level of attraction that you are. Think about it, when you really are into a guy, regardless of other things in your life such as work, you will make time for him.

When a man says he is not ready for relationship, sometimes it is a nice way of saying he is just not ready for a relationship with you. How many times have we heard this line and then a few weeks or months later he is in a relationship and often ends up married to the one after you. Quite discouraging.

Then there is the "it's not you, it's me" line. It's like he is trying to tell you he has some issues that he needs to resolve. What he is really saying is it is you, something about you does not motivate him to move things to the next level. This is a famous line and it is bull. I say he is right it is him.

Often what it means when he says he is not ready for a relationship is that he is still wanting to keep his options open. If you stay in this relationship that is not a relationship, chances are good that you will be placed on the back burner while he is out checking out other women. The old grass is greener on the other side of the fence theory. It's best not to make a man a priority when all he is doing is making you an option.

If you are sleeping with the man that told you he was not ready for a relationship, you are going to become a doormat. He probably will never see you as relationship material as he won't respect you. Men don't respect women who puts him before her own self respect. If you aren't good enough to have a relationship with, why should you be good enough to sleep with?

Signs That He is Not Interested

It really seems difficult to read the signals these guys send and to know if he is interested or not. Especially when one day he is texting like crazy and the next day you hear nothing from him. He was interested yesterday, so what happened to today? First off texting is not always a sign that a guy is interested. When a guy is texting you often but not actually trying to make plans to see you, you can bet he is just keeping you on the back burner. Giving you a big enough crumb to save you for a rainy day. Don't fall for it, if he keeps texting, stop answering. If he wants to talk, he can pick up the phone and make a date. One of the signs that he is not interested is perpetual texting with no follow up action.

Now guys do get busy sometimes and they don't usually require that everyday contact that we as women come to expect but if he vanishes for days or weeks that is a sure sign he is not interested. When a guy likes you, he does stay constant in his contact. He is not going to waiver much there, someone else might just snatch you up and he won't risk it. If your guy is not in consistent contact, he is not that interested.

If it has been weeks since he made a serious effort to see you or if you are doing all the work making the get togethers happen there is another sign. Think about it, you are interested and you want to see him, so what would make it different for him. An interested guy is a guy who makes an effort to see you, if he doesn't, well that's another one of those signs he is not interested.

If you are having to question whether he is or is not interested, chances are good he is not. When a guy is interested you don't question this, you just know, by his actions, not his words. When trying to figure out if he is or is not interested, watch his actions, turn off the sound and ignore his words.

Wouldn't it be nice to get his interest and keep it. Do you know what the biggest attraction and interest killers are in dating? Find out and turn it around, let them be the one guessing if you are interested or not.

Can I contact Him

Lets say you have had a few dates and he has been coming on strong. Typical right? Now all of a sudden, silence. What is going on? What would it hurt to pick up the phone and see where he is at or try to decipher his level of interest? A lot actually.

I see it all the time, the women start freaking out by a slackness in contact. The instinct is to make contact. In reality ask yourself why do you need to make this contact. Usually it is a need to control and validation. We want to be in control of the outcome of our dating lives, when in the real world we can't, so what's the point?

The rule here is if he wants to talk to you, he will. It's really that simple. He does not need reminding. He is not going to forget you. If he does, well he was not for you anyway. Let him take the lead. A man values that which he works hardest for.

Often they are testing us as well. They want to see how much we will work for them. It's what men do. They are used to the women doing all the work, it's been like this forever. Be the one who is different. This is the one that usually wins his attention and affection. He wakes up one day and that little pea brain thinks, oh I have not heard from her, she must not be that into me. This is a challenge, a man loves a challenge.

Take it a step further and don't be so available, don't always answer, wait a while and return his call. If he does not answer leave a sweet message and do not, I repeat do not text or call him again. You don't want to look desperate or insecure. Men love a confident self assured woman who is responsible for her own happiness.

Less is always more. If you find yourself asking, can I contact him, then take the high road, don't. He will probably call you if you follow this rule. It just might not be in your time frame. Remember, men don't have the same time frame as we do. Patience and strategy women. Think long term satisfaction, not instant gratification.

Women have come up with rules for contacting men for a reason. They work. If you follow the basic rules of calling and texting men, the attraction level between you and your potential mate can be heightened to great levels. Don't make the fatal mistakes that so many women make when calling and texting men.

Biggest Dating Mistakes Women Make

If I had to sum up the biggest mistake women make in dating in one sentence it would be this. We start making him a priority when we are still just an option. In other words we start acting like the girlfriend way before he has decided he wants us in that role. We start expecting contact, expecting him to do certain things and when he doesn't we freak. We start wanting to control the outcome. We can't really.

So how do we start trying to control the outcome? We may start to initiate contact when we haven't heard from him for a few days. If he does not reply to our texts, we text again and sometimes again. This sends him the signal loud and clear, we are way more into him than he is us.

Another way we make this mistake in dating is to start asking questions. Why didn't you call. Are you going to call? Where do you see this going? Are you looking for a relationship? Things like that. When we ask these questions we are telling him loud and clear he has the power to dictate the terms of how this dating thing plays out. We are seeking reassurance from the man and he sees this as insecurity and feels he has to validate us. Not good, not good at all.

Another mistake women make in dating which also applies to the option/priority rule is to start giving to him. We offer to do things for him to make his life better hoping this will make him like us more. We may do his laundry, cook for him, go out of our way for him. This is a huge attraction killer. This is behavior that should be reserved for a man that has made up a priority, not a man that has taken us on a few dates. Stop worrying about if he likes you or not, let him wonder if you like him instead.

My inbox is full every day with women who make these and many other mistakes in dating. Stop spinning your wheels with things that don't work and start learning what does. Learn how to create, and keep that attraction alive and burning. It's really not that hard, be the woman he adores.

Signs He is Into You and Ready to Commit

When a man is into a woman, he shows it in his actions. He may shower you with pretty words, but if his actions do not support his words, be leery. Men are known for telling us women what we want to hear. Pay little attention to this, don't hang onto his every word, watch him instead.

Steady communication is a sure sign he is into you. If he calls, or texts regularly and does not go missing in action for days chances are good he is moving forward. If a man goes missing on you or slows down on his communication, your radar should go up.

If he is into you, he will make sure and secure time with you in advance. He will not wait until the last minute for a Saturday night date. When he is into you, he wants to make sure you spend time with him and he will do what it takes to make this happen. Beware the man that leaves this up to last minute.

Does he take you around family and friends. Including you in his life and letting you be a part of it is one of the big signs he is into you. A man that adores you will be proud of you and want to show you off. He will invite you out with his friends and take you to family outings. If a man does not include you in these things, you very well may be his Miss Right Now and not his forever girl.

Men look for a lot of things when picking the woman they want to commit to. Find out what drives them towards commitment and marriage. Learn how to be his priority, not his option. Exchange the girlfriend crown for a ring

Why He Won't Commit

A man has to feel desired for who he is. He wants to feel it's his uniqueness that won you over. Often we start out pushing way too soon, after a few dates we are wanting to know where this is going. This tells him you have an open position to fill and anyone will do. It does not make him feel special. He needs to feel special to commit, not just some guy to put in a tux and walk down the isle with and live happily ever after.

When women get in a hurry to secure the commitment it tells men, "She is insecure and needs to fill a void. She can't be alone". Her desire to secure a relationship has nothing to do with me personnaly. This is why you should always let him lead. Let him think it is his idea. He wants to know you value your selection of a man and who you commit to. This tells him that he is special and ignites a desire to commit. Why he won't commit is often because he does not feel that special.

The way to make him think it is his idea is to keep some distance. It causes a man to fixate on you. The reason is 9 out of 10 women assume the role of girlfriend after a month or two. They start trying to control the outcome of the relationship. They call if they have not heard from him, they try to lock down time with him, basically wearing the girlfriend crown long before he has placed it on our heads.

This is what causes men to back off. They have an instinct to protect their freedom. Remember it's women who want to discuss a commitment. Men do not. They have to accidently just fall into it. They value what they have to work for. If you are just a lay down, meaning easy to get, he will not value you and will not commit.

It takes a lot of patience to lead a man to commitment. Even the most phobic of men can be led to commit, but it takes a special woman to do this. Not a yes girl. Don't be the woman who watches her man drift away and eventually wind up married to some other girl. It happens all the time, he says he is not ready, then next thing you know he is with someone new. Don't let this happen to you, be his dream girl, not his doormat.

Be His Dream Girl

Feminine grace and elegance is a very desirable quality in a woman, the main quality to be his dream girl. It inspires men to leave fears behind and commit to a woman. A woman with feminine grace and elegance is beautiful in every aspect of her life. The way she walks, talks, or even brushes her hair. She has little trouble attracting men towards her. It is not in the way she dresses, or even how pretty she is.

When men talk about this woman, the women men adore, they usually say "there is just something about her". She radiates warmth like a campfire, and she is peaceful. She give off the vibe that she truly likes and values men. This woman usually has an unshakeable confidence level and can disarm a man without really trying. This woman will be his dream girl.

The woman that men adore is not scared of rocking the boat. She is true to herself and has the ability to be vulnerable yet strong. She will not stay in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. When she chooses to stay, her man knows he is special. Men love to feel special.

Men really do want a woman to spend forever with. The dream girls and women men adore are far and few between. Just ask one, he will tell you. Dream girls are rare. They are more used to the nagging women who want to talk everything out. When a man meets this dream girl, he does not want to let her go.

Learning to be a dream girl or the woman men adore takes skills and practice. It takes confidence and the willingness to take a chance and do something different. If what you are currently doing in your relationship is not working why not take that risk and make some positive changes.

Rules for Texting Guys

The rules for texting guys and calling guys are the same. Less is more for the most part. It is really the guys role to do the initiating, and if you are texting him more than he is texting you, you have broken a huge rule. Men really do like a bit of a challenge and if you are Miss Texting Queen, you are not offering up much of a challenge. You are depriving him of his role and it causes an imbalance in the relationship.

If you text a guy and he does not respond, don't text him again. It sends of signals of desperation and you are making him a priority while he is only making you an option. We often think, oh maybe he did not get our message, well don't kid yourself, he probably did. He could be busy, timing could be wrong or he could just not be into you. If you will sit on your fingers for a few days, it usually pays off. Then the guy wonders, hmmm, where is she, I have not heard from her. This usually causes him to reach out to you.

When he does text you, one of the rules for texting guys is not to respond immediately. Wait a couple hours. Don't be so anxious. Easier said than done. It is the mysterious girl that gets the guys attention and by not jumping through hoops when he texts, you create this mystery.

Until you are in an established relationship, it is best to let him do the initiating. Even then, less is always more. If I were to sum up the rules for texting guys, it would be this, when texting guys, less is always more.

Text messaging is a huge tool that can be used to build attraction and get and keep a guys interest. It pays to learn to use this media to your advantage. Turn up the heat, light that spark.

Not All Men Are Jerks

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.

Do we often have unrealistic expectations of men and how a relationship is supposed to be? I think we often do. Learning to accept others as they are can be the key to happiness. Do you toss your best friend aside even though she does some things that irritate you? I doubt it. We accept the flaws of others, we all have them, so are men excluded in this concept? Are they not human too?

Men are different, that is a reality, they are raised to hold things in, not show emotions, deal with problems on their own. Their communication techniques, levels of intimacy, need for space, etc..., are not the same as ours, never has been, never will be. They have a right to these differences whether they suit our needs or not.

How many times have you stewed in your life time because a man did not behave the way you thought he was supposed to. Maybe he forgot to call, maybe he did not take out the trash, whatever. One of our biggest frustrations with men is our inability to get them to do what we think they are supposed to do. We use "shoulds" and "supposed to's" as if we were the supreme beings in a relationship. The key to getting along with men well in general is to accept the answer to the question I asked myself. "Who the hell gave women the right to set the rules, to make their needs more important, and to decide how men should or are supposed to act or respond in a relationship?" Is that really fair? No.

Men have a right to be themselves. They have needs too! I think we as women sometimes get so caught up in what we deserve, what we feel entitled to that we miss the big picture. They are an equal part of the relationship. Men consistently say the one reason they hesitate to get into relationships is because they do not feel they can live up to our rules and expectations. Have we become like that? Have we lost sight of the ability to see men as who they really are, because they may not meet all of our expectations?

We have seen that trying to change men often means losing them. It's more effective to find ways to respond to his differences that we can feel more comfortable with. By lessening his importance, his differences can seem less irritating. After all, our happiness shouldn't be too dependent on what we get from him. That doesn't mean we should sell ourselves short, but is it time for us to accept that men don't have to change because we have a specific image of what we want. Men don't deserve to be labeled as jerks because they don't do things the way we want them to.

Bob Grant's The Women Men Adore

I have just read Bob Grant's book "The Women Men Adore" for the second time. Again I was amazed at all the knowledge packed into that book about male/female dynamics. I have read many a book on dating and relationships but The Women Men Adore is by far one of the best. It does not offer manipulation tactics or trickery to get what you want and need out of a relationship. Instead it offers insight into how men and women are different and how these differences can work together.

Men are not mind readers. They don't know what we need or want if we don't show them. Notice I did not say tell them. Men don't really listen to words, unless you are very skilled at feeling statements.

Bob Grant in the Women Men Adore explains in great detail what and how to communicate with the men in your life. He shares success stories and examples and goes into the whys of it all. How many times have you found yourself asking "Why" when it comes to a man?

I think this is a must read for every woman. It changed the way I relate to men, and how they relate to me. If every woman read The Women Men Adore, the men out there would not stand a chance.

Are All Men Jerks

From all the complaining we do and hear, it would appear that men are jerks. They don't call when they say they will. They get hot and cold. They don't always tell us the truth and disappoint us in general. They have been known to vanish for days, let us down at the last minute among many other things. Why?

Could the problem lie with us as women and our expectations. Are we holding them to our expectations and not considering the fact that their expectations may differ? We always seem to have a certain time frame that things should be progressing. Should we not consider that their time frame may not be different. Don't they have just as much right to their expectations as we do to ours? Just because their expectations don't match ours does not mean it is wrong.

A man may not feel he has to call everyday. You may feel if he cares he will. Then the questions and doubts enter the woman's mind and the relationship starts it's down hill spiral, all because 2 people have different expectations as to how it is supposed to be. In a relationship there are 2 people. Why should the woman dictate how it is supposed to be? Can't we learn to accept men the way they are and not try to change them into what we want them to be, how we want them to behave.

Men and women are different. Men are logical, women emotional. This is fact. A man's communication tactics, level of need for intimacy, need for space, etc..., are going to be different from a woman's. We may expect compliments, romance, sweet words of endearment, while he thinks changing the oil in your car is an expression of love. I think if we could learn to accept their differences instead of fighting to make them conform to our expectations we would find the term, "Men are Jerks ", may not be so true after all.

I have learned that the key to good communication and relationships is not about trying to make men into what we want them to be, but let them be who they are, they tend to flourish this way. Funny thing happens, they start to trust and open up and in return give you what you really desire and want from the man in your life.