Thursday, April 28, 2011

What to Talk About on a First Date With a Guy

Oh that first date. You finally decided what to wear and now you are stressing over what to talk about. It can be awkward and you want to avoid those moments of silence. I have heard many say to have a list of questions. Don't do this. Don't bombard him with questions. It will seem canned and he will feel like he is on a job interview for the role as husband.

Don't talk about your ex, or past relationships or any hardships you may be going through. This is stuff you talk about once you are in an established relationship. On the other hand if he talks about these things, make a note of the warning flag waiving. If you discuss such serious issues too soon, he will see you as drama ahead. You want to make your first date fun, not serious. First date conversation should just flow.

If it gets awkward and there are moments of silence, make a joke out of it. Just say, wow can we get more awkward. It's the truth and it's honest. It lets him know you are feeling just as awkward as he is, and trust me, he is feeling just as awkward as you.

Whatever you do in a first date conversation don't ask him about his feelings. Men hate talking about their feeeeeellllings, especially on a first date. If you want to know more use phrases like "What do you think about.....", or "tell me more".

Ask him about his career and really listen. Don't interject with your own story when he tells you something. Nothing worse than someone who always has a story to top the one you just told.

Get him talking about his hobbies, maybe his friends. Friends do make great conversations. Most of us have some pretty interesting friends.

Don't be scared to compliment him. If he smells good tell him but don't make a big deal of it. One compliment should be enough on a first date, more than that and you seem desperate.

Always thank him at the end of the date. Do not ask when you will see him again, let him pursue you. Don't text him later and tell him you had a good time, wait and see if he does that. If he had a good time he will. Your only job is to thank him at the end of the date, you don't need to do it again later.

First date conversations should be natural. Not a series of questions and answer. Just be yourself, be charming, a little flirty and smile a lot. Don't over think it.

Prior to a first date, listen to some upbeat music to ease your tension and stress that first dates can cause. I am a seasoned first dater, but I still get apprehensive about first dates. I have recorded a cd to get me in the right frame of mind. No love songs, all upbeat dance type songs.

When wondering what to talk about on a first date, it's really better to not even think about it if you can manage it. Just let it flow.

Feminine Grace is something that hooks a man on a fist date. If you can master this, you can almost always get a second, third, and more. You can learn more about feminine grace here.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Best Way to Get a Relationship with a Man

The best way to get a relationship with a man is simple. Tell him you don't want one or that you are in no hurry. Don't mention relationship at all is you best bet.

Telling him you aren't looking for a relationship works in a couple ways the first one being obvious. It challenges him for starters. When a man hears a woman say she doesn't want a relationship or is in no hurry, he becomes intrigued. He wants to know why. If you play your cards right, you convey to him that you just aren't willing to settle or jump on the first guy that comes along.

This triggers his hunter instinct and we all know most men want what they can't have. He often makes it his mission to see if he can change your mind. He starts to prove his worth to you to win you over. Often he falls in love in the process.

It also disarms him. Men are so used to women pushing for commitment that they will be taken back by the woman that doesn't. It makes you stand out. If you want a relationship, don't let on to this so soon, inspire him to work for it. He will value what he works for.

The last thing that telling a man you don't want a relationship does and why it works is because it makes him feel safe. He doesn't have to live in dread of the day you will have the talk. He is free to have fun, he is free period with no threats. This causes him to let his guard down. This is when they fall the hardest, when they feel safe and because he feels safe he moves on into the water. Next thing he knows he is in a relationship and she never had to say a word.

This is how you get a relationship.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Mixed Signals From Men



Do you find you often get mixed signals from men? They speak one thing and do another? Perhaps he says all the right thing, yet you rarely see him, or the opposite, you see him often, but he never tells you how he feels about you. Maybe he is one of those guys that calls or texts, seems interested, but never really puts in effort to see you. Mixed signals  from men come in all sorts of forms, but what does it mean.

More than likely if you are getting these mixed signals from men, you analyze it to death, it's what we do as women. We justify it more than not and make excuses. If you find yourself saying any of the following, please read to the conclusion here.

He works a lot or has a stressful job
He has some family things going on
He has been hurt in the past
His ex cheated on him
He thinks I am too good for him
He may not know I am interested
He fell asleep

The list goes on and on. If a man is giving you mixed signals, you haven't hooked him yet, and this is the bottom line. He may be interested, but he isn't interested enough to give you all the right signals.

I have been with the mixed signal man. He would say all the right things when we talked or were together, only to vanish for days at a time. When he was around, everything was great, but when he wasn't, I had no clue how he felt or where I stood.

Do you wonder what he is thinking? You feel like he cares because of the way he treats you so well at times, but other times you have doubts. A man sending you mixed signals has not moved you to priority in his life or either he is having doubts about you of his own.

We often unknowingly push men away. We make mistakes that we don't even know we make. We send signals to them that tell them we may not be girlfriend relationship material. It could be you call too much, you ask too many questions, he fears loss of his freedom.

For a man to make you a priority, he has to feel safe with you and you need to be aware of the little things women do, mistakes we make that do not make him feel safe. If a man is sending you mixed signals, is it you or is it him?

Friday, April 8, 2011

How To Play a Player

Players or masterful pick up artists are popping up every where. It used to be that some men were just natural born players and had women falling at their feet. Now these techniques are being taught and actually practiced out in the field by these gurus all over the world. They take the guys into weekend bootcamps and teach them all about a woman's hot buttons and how to push them to score. The produce printed online material in the form of ebooks. Thing is these techniques work on unsuspecting women.

The number one website for guys to learn to be a pick up artist was created by Nick Savoy.  Nick is globally recognized in the pick up artist arena.  I did a one one one very candid  interview with Nick and you can listen to it on my website here at lovegirltalk.  He really takes you into the mind of a player. 

So can you play a player and turn the tables? Absolutely. It's not for the faint of heart though or the insecure woman who falls too hard to fast. To play a player, you need to leave your emotions out of it in order to trigger his.

Players are not just smooth talkers. They use human nature to their advantage. The we all want what we can't have is one of the best used tactic or the take away. They pay you attention, then ignore, back and forth. If you just met him out, he is back and forth with you. He may get up and approach another woman. This increases his value. If other women want him, it does tend to spark your attraction.

If you have been dating him, he more than likely contacts you strongly for a day or so, then stops. Back and forth he goes. There are times he probably won't answer your text, only to text you a few days later and attempt to meet up.

He is training you like pavlov's dog is what he is doing. When he is with you he makes you feel so good. Then when he is gone, you crave his attention. He goes into vanishing mode and while you can't find him, you are wanting to see him. He reappears, you are swept away with relief and the cycle starts again. The relief being the trigger for pavlov's dog. He just set you up.

So how do you turn the tables with this man? Think of a cat. Know how you dangle that string in front of a cat and he bats at it, tries to get it in his teeth? Then you pull the string away, and he lies there swagging his tail waiting to do it again.

Think though about the attention span of this cat. A spider walks by and he forgets all about the string...for a moment. Once he ate the spider, he comes back.

If you are going to play a player, you have to stand out from the other girls that fall into his games.  Most girls just get swept away by this silver tongued devils.  You attitude has to be one of I can take you or leave you.  You do not say this or speak your attitude, but you show it with your actions.  It could easily be in what you don't say as to what you do.  You be the one who doesn't whine and ask silly questions like "When will I see you again".  Not asking this question alone is powerful.  All the other girls ask him this and now he wonders why don't you.

Players can also get sex about anywhere.  So sex to them is not the way to their heart, but I am sure it won't hurt to have a few tricks up your sleeve or know some arts of pleasure that other women simply just don't know.  You can find more about male pleasure here.

Playing a player takes patience. The best way for me to explain it further is by example, my own.

I have frequented the same establishment for a few years. The players come and go. In May of 2010 in walks Don Juan. I smile at him and that's it. Turn my head back and focus completely onto my girlfriends. He moves on, but noticed my lack of interest.

He comes back week after week, I may speak politely, but just shrug him off. He picks up numerous girls during these weeks by the way. He tries the lack of interest on me, but I am not interested. He is now very interested, because you see, he wants what he can't have.

July, yes July, I decide to make the move. He is so curious by now, he doesn't know if I just have a bitch shield up or what. He goes to the bathroom, walks right by me. I back my stool up a bit where he is in my line of vision, and lay in wait. He walks out the bathroom, I catch his eye and don't break the stare. By the time he reaches me, I say one little sentence. Well Hello (call him by name), and smile.

What has happened over those weeks is my degree of value has gone up. I don't jump like the others did, therefore he sees me as valuable. He has also seen that he isn't the only one that doesn't manage to pick me up. No easy girl here. If you are an easy girl that doesn't grasp how to be hard to get, well this isn't for you, he won't see value in you.

The results of this. We dated for six months, the tiger turned into a pussy cat and yes I broke his heart. Not bragging on this, but it happened. That though is another post.

If you are going to play a player, you need to understand the concept behind hard to get. It's not what you think. Hard to Get is a state of mind.

Update here on June, 2013.  Me and this player are living together now and he is true blue and faithful to me.  He comes home everyday after work, he adores me.  He fooled around and fell in love.  A player reformed!  Players can be had, oh yes they can!  





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Monday, April 4, 2011

How To Find Love Online - Step One

Online dating is fast catching on to be an effective method to finding love. The thing that so many women miss is step one. Step one is commit to it. I mean finding love is pretty serious business, so why would you not commit to it. So many women go into it thinking they will just try it out. They get discouraged because they don't get results as quickly as they would like. Have you forgotten that most things worth having are worth working for.

Find The One Online

That being said, if you signed up for 30 days, you can't be too serious or committed to it. This is going to take longer than 30 days more times than not. It could be 6 months or a year. If you signed up for a free site, expect it could take longer.

For starters, a paying site is going to attract more commitment minded men. If a man has invested into this, chances are better he is committed to finding love online as well. I visualize the men on the free sites eating chips laying on the sofa watching tv. I am sure there are quality men there, but the chances are higher on a paying site.

Find The One Online

No point denying that finding love is not a large part of our world. We were created to desire a partner. We are searching for the right partner and it should be taken serious. If you are looking for that perfect job, you don't expect to find it right off the bat do you? No you go on interview after interview and you invest into it. You buy that power suit, you polish your resume, you prep for it and keep trying. Why should searching for love online be different?

It takes commitment. It takes perseverance. It also takes skill. I keep thinking about my friend who had 42 first dates with 42 different men before she found love online. It took her about 8 months, but what a journey she had. Unlike most women, she committed to it and did not give up.

Committing to it is step one. It's like with anything, a diet, a career, going to school, if you want results and you want to find love online, you have to commit fist. Anything less is just pointless.

I have recently started dating again online. I am in month 3. I have not found love online, but I am relentless in my efforts. I invest a specified amount of time, I send a specified number of ice breaker emails out and I reply to emails as well. I have tweaked my profile and changed things around if I am not getting the results I desire. It's a trial and error thing.

There are many techniques that can be learned to increase your chances, such as having an expert write your profile or learning how to build attraction through your emails. It's not as cut and dry as you would think it is, but that is another blog post.
Find The One Online

Sunday, April 3, 2011

How To Keep Your Boyfriend Interested

How do you keep him interested in you become his girlfreind is really not that difficult. I think we get scared because of past experiences. Most of us have been dumped or just had a man disappear on us. It's not fun, that is for sure, but it doesn't mean every man will do this. Still you can take preventive measures to keep him interested in you.

Think about when you first met. What was it about you that he found so exciting. One of the biggest mistakes women make is they change after they get the guy. The fun flirty girl he first met just vanishes. Guys like fun girls, so if you are going to keep him interested, you have to remain the fun girl. Leave the drama behind.

Second fatal mistake women make is trying to change him. They start making suggestions to him how to do things or what he should be doing. Some women even try to change their boyfriends style of dress. Men crave acceptance. If you try to change him, he isn't going to feel very accepted.

Whatever you do, don't mother him. That means no bed time check ins, no doing his laundry or trying to hard to please him. This is not why he chose you for a girlfriend I am sure. Men like sexy women and if you start acting like his mother, you aren't going to be very sexy to him.

If you are going to keep him interested, and you insist on doing domesticated things for him, involve him in it. If you are cooking dinner for him, make sure he is present when you are doing all the work. Don't just do it and have him over to eat. Let him see you in action, and it doesn't hurt to look sexy while doing this. I once had a man tell me I was so sexy with my hair everywhere and covered in flour. Let him participate and experience these things with you, don't do it all for him.

If you are wondering how to keep your boyfriend interested remember this. Men love to be needed. I don't mean as an emotional sounding board. They like to do things to help you, they are fixers. Let them. It makes them feel important and makes them feel like men. Let him kill the bug, change the lightbulb you can't reach, fix your dryer. Always show appreciation for these things by smiling and saying thank you.

To find out more about the women men adore, click here.

Friday, April 1, 2011

How To Get His Interest Back

Are you stressing over a man that seems to have lost interest? His calling has decreased or stopped, he doesn't text like he used to and isn't making plans with you. Have you scared him away?

Women often scare men away by making some of the most common mistakes. Did you start taking the controls of the relationship? Maybe you did the chasing by calling, texting, suggesting outings together. This is what I call trying to control the outcome or get the results you desire. Thing is, this doesn't work. If he isn't doing the pursuing, you have upset the balance. This is one of the most common man mistakes we make.

Another mistake is being clingy or demanding. Maybe you question him and his where abouts when you aren't together. Maybe you ask him to check in when he goes out without you or worse, you text him the entire time he is out with his friends. Men see this mistake as he is going to lose his freedom. Loss of freedom is huge for a man.

Did you ask him where you stand, or how he feels or where is your relationship heading? We call this having the talk and it is almost always a big man mistake. This causes the man to freak out and often results in his disappearance. Is there a man mistake eraser to fix this one? It's a tough one for sure.

Did you have a disagreement and then you sent him a long email telling him all about your feelings. When a man opens an email and sees it is a long note, his first thought is, oh boy, she is going to talk about her feelings and tell me everything I did wrong. Nine times out of ten, his preconceived ideas about the email will cause him to miss the point, not to mention he may see you as a love sick school girl.

Whatever man mistake you made, your first instinct is to fix it. You think, if I could just explain, if I could just get him to understand we could work this out. The fact of the matter is, it's all about timing. If you try to force the issue too soon, you may just blow it for good. It's best to take a deep breathe, and don't act when your emotions are all over the place.

You emotions are what got you into this, they aren't going to get you out. Before you get out your man mistake eraser, let the emotions settle down. You will see things more clearly once you have calmed. These things are not often solved over night.

I can remember a time when I tried to force a man to hear me out. In hindsight, had I just waited a week or so for him to calm down, not to mention me, I probably could have salvaged it. I didn't though, I pushed and pushed and by doing so, I pushed him right out of my life. Don't make this mistake. Forcing it is not a a way to erase your mistakes.

There is a man mistake eraser, and with the right techniques, you can fix almost any screw up.

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