Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Why Men Break up with Women

I read about it every day. Women wondering what are the reasons men break up with women. How do they just shut if off like a light switch? What is he thinking? We wonder how he could just fall out of love so fast.

There are many reasons men break up with women, but the main common denominator is this. They just aren't feeling like you are the one. They don't have enough burning desire to make you theirs. It takes a lot of things to create this desire. They have to feel safe, trusted, loved, but not smothered. They have to feel they are still free beings to commit.

Usually the underlying reason that men break up with women is they start to feel responsible for the happiness of the woman they are involved with. She starts expecting more, wanting to know where she stands. This tells a man loud and clear that she is letting him dictate the relationship and that she is dependant on him for the outcome. A woman who does not need a man for her happiness is much easier to be with, much easier to feel safe with.

Many women make a career out of being dumped. They may last a few weeks, months, maybe even a couple years but the ending is always the same. If women would take the time to learn how men really think, they could break this pattern and stop being the one who is dumped. When a man tells a woman "it's not you, it's me". He means it is you. Isn't it time to figure out why?

Learn what attracts and keeps a man's desire burning for you. Stop watching them move onto another woman and wondering why. Learn to be the woman men adore.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

How to Play Hard To Get with Guys

Think of the shiny red sports car. The guy had to put in some serious hard work and some long hours to pay for that car. Is he going to let anyone else drive it? Not a chance. He is very proud of that car. So do you want to be the pretty red sports car or just another beat up clunker that he wouldn't think twice about loaning to his buddies.

Playing hard to get with a guy is not a game. It's all about having a busy life, not putting his needs first and not being so available. If your time is valuable to you, it will become valuable to him. A hard to get woman does not stress over missing his call, nor does she jump through hoops to text him back. This is incredibly attractive to guys and they find a confident busy woman attractive. You want to be hard to get, but you want to be easy to be with.

If you are not a natural at playing hard to get with guys, there are some basic you can follow to help you.

* don't accept last minute dates, very important in the beginning dating stages
* don't answer his call every time
* don't text back right away
* don't text him first
* never ever change you plans to fit his schedule
* don't not make plans because he might want to do something
* stay busy
* don't ditch your friends, ever
* always end the conversations and dates first
* don't wear provocative clothing, leave something to his imagination
* flirt a little, but not too much, smile often
* do not have sex on the first date or early on
* Don't apologize for not calling, or texting etc...

You want him to know you enjoy his company but your world does not revolve around him, your world revolves around you. You want him to get the impression that you are fine with or without him in your life. You adore men, but you don't have to have one to survive. That is the kind of woman men find so very sexy. That is the key to playing hard to get with guys.

Don't be a doormat, be hard to get. Don't lose another guys interest because you have not mastered this skill.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

How To Text Guys and Drive them Wild

First you need to understand men really don't respond to words all that much. How many time have they tuned us out? That is often because we are talking to them like we would want to be talked to. This does not work, they are not women. To communicate and stimulate a man, go for his ego. Sweet does not get it when you are texting a guy.

When learning how to text a guy, first lesson is do not overkill. If you text too much and too often, he sees you as needy or desperate. Less is always more when it comes to men. Don't be the girl that when he is out with the guys that he shows his phone to his buddies and rolls his eyes about and not in a good way. If you are a perpetual texter, this will be a huge turn off and a warning flag of drama queen ahead.

It's also best to let him initiate first. When he opens the door, you walk on through, full of wit and humor. Pick and tease him, go after that huge ego. A man's first instinct is to defend his ego and manhood. Don't do so with malice, use softeners when you do this such a a smiley face. When texting a guy, imagine wearing a halo and horns at the same time. Guys love the Angel/Devil combination.

When texting guys, a little provocative suggestion goes a long way. A subliminal talk with his penis is what I call it. Never be direct, always say something that could have a double meaning. That way he can't ever accuse you of being dirty, but he can certainly think you might be a bit naughty, but with no hard core proof to back it up. How fun is that.?

When you are texting a guy, you want to create positive anchors and triggers. When he sees he has a message from you, you want him to feel anticipation before he reads it. You want to use this anticipation to build the attraction. When learning the best ways how to text a guy, always remember, less is more. Also try to be let him be the last one to text, find a good cut off point and stop, leaving him wanting more.

Learn the art of texting guys. Build up his attraction and be the girl that he gets excited about when his phone rings. Click Here

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Stop Getting Dumped

If you keep getting dumped or hearing the line, it's not you, it's me, it's time to come to reality. What these guys really mean when they tell you this is that it is you. There is something that you are doing to kill the initial attraction. Maybe you are coming across as needy, insecure or maybe he senses drama ahead. Often we are not aware of the signals that we may be sending to men.

There are many mistakes that women make to push men away or send out these signals unknowingly. If you are doing most of the initiating calls, plans and texts, a guy will not feel you are a challenge. He may start off dating you or even enter a form of relationship with you, but if a guy does not feel challenged, his interest will fade fast.

If you keep getting dumped ask yourself are you dependent on a man to validate you and make you happy. Does he feel responsible for your happiness and that your world revolves around him? If you are always available and put him first, he starts to feel uncomfortable. A man finds a woman with walking power and a life of her own that he is incredibly drawn to. These confident, happy women rarely get dumped.

Men value that which they work hardest for. If you are too easy, you become just like all the others. To stop from getting dumped, you need to be different than the other women, you need to stand out. There is a saying, the one who cares the least in a relationship holds the power. There is a lot of truth to this statement.

Stop getting passed by and learn what a man fears the most, and what makes him run for the hills or to another woman. Learn how to be the woman he adores and never wants to leave

Monday, June 21, 2010

He says He is Not Ready for a Relationship

He may use excuses, such as work is too busy, he just got out of a relationship, or he just has some things in his life to sort out. When a man says he is not ready for a relationship, usually it means he is just not feeling the same level of attraction that you are. Think about it, when you really are into a guy, regardless of other things in your life such as work, you will make time for him.

When a man says he is not ready for relationship, sometimes it is a nice way of saying he is just not ready for a relationship with you. How many times have we heard this line and then a few weeks or months later he is in a relationship and often ends up married to the one after you. Quite discouraging.

Then there is the "it's not you, it's me" line. It's like he is trying to tell you he has some issues that he needs to resolve. What he is really saying is it is you, something about you does not motivate him to move things to the next level. This is a famous line and it is bull. I say he is right it is him.

Often what it means when he says he is not ready for a relationship is that he is still wanting to keep his options open. If you stay in this relationship that is not a relationship, chances are good that you will be placed on the back burner while he is out checking out other women. The old grass is greener on the other side of the fence theory. It's best not to make a man a priority when all he is doing is making you an option.

If you are sleeping with the man that told you he was not ready for a relationship, you are going to become a doormat. He probably will never see you as relationship material as he won't respect you. Men don't respect women who puts him before her own self respect. If you aren't good enough to have a relationship with, why should you be good enough to sleep with?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Signs That He is Not Interested

It really seems difficult to read the signals these guys send and to know if he is interested or not. Especially when one day he is texting like crazy and the next day you hear nothing from him. He was interested yesterday, so what happened to today? First off texting is not always a sign that a guy is interested. When a guy is texting you often but not actually trying to make plans to see you, you can bet he is just keeping you on the back burner. Giving you a big enough crumb to save you for a rainy day. Don't fall for it, if he keeps texting, stop answering. If he wants to talk, he can pick up the phone and make a date. One of the signs that he is not interested is perpetual texting with no follow up action.

Now guys do get busy sometimes and they don't usually require that everyday contact that we as women come to expect but if he vanishes for days or weeks that is a sure sign he is not interested. When a guy likes you, he does stay constant in his contact. He is not going to waiver much there, someone else might just snatch you up and he won't risk it. If your guy is not in consistent contact, he is not that interested.

If it has been weeks since he made a serious effort to see you or if you are doing all the work making the get togethers happen there is another sign. Think about it, you are interested and you want to see him, so what would make it different for him. An interested guy is a guy who makes an effort to see you, if he doesn't, well that's another one of those signs he is not interested.

If you are having to question whether he is or is not interested, chances are good he is not. When a guy is interested you don't question this, you just know, by his actions, not his words. When trying to figure out if he is or is not interested, watch his actions, turn off the sound and ignore his words.

Wouldn't it be nice to get his interest and keep it. Do you know what the biggest attraction and interest killers are in dating? Find out and turn it around, let them be the one guessing if you are interested or not.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Can I contact Him

Lets say you have had a few dates and he has been coming on strong. Typical right? Now all of a sudden, silence. What is going on? What would it hurt to pick up the phone and see where he is at or try to decipher his level of interest? A lot actually.

I see it all the time, the women start freaking out by a slackness in contact. The instinct is to make contact. In reality ask yourself why do you need to make this contact. Usually it is a need to control and validation. We want to be in control of the outcome of our dating lives, when in the real world we can't, so what's the point?

The rule here is if he wants to talk to you, he will. It's really that simple. He does not need reminding. He is not going to forget you. If he does, well he was not for you anyway. Let him take the lead. A man values that which he works hardest for.

Often they are testing us as well. They want to see how much we will work for them. It's what men do. They are used to the women doing all the work, it's been like this forever. Be the one who is different. This is the one that usually wins his attention and affection. He wakes up one day and that little pea brain thinks, oh I have not heard from her, she must not be that into me. This is a challenge, a man loves a challenge.

Take it a step further and don't be so available, don't always answer, wait a while and return his call. If he does not answer leave a sweet message and do not, I repeat do not text or call him again. You don't want to look desperate or insecure. Men love a confident self assured woman who is responsible for her own happiness.

Less is always more. If you find yourself asking, can I contact him, then take the high road, don't. He will probably call you if you follow this rule. It just might not be in your time frame. Remember, men don't have the same time frame as we do. Patience and strategy women. Think long term satisfaction, not instant gratification.

Women have come up with rules for contacting men for a reason. They work. If you follow the basic rules of calling and texting men, the attraction level between you and your potential mate can be heightened to great levels. Don't make the fatal mistakes that so many women make when calling and texting men.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Biggest Dating Mistakes Women Make

If I had to sum up the biggest mistake women make in dating in one sentence it would be this. We start making him a priority when we are still just an option. In other words we start acting like the girlfriend way before he has decided he wants us in that role. We start expecting contact, expecting him to do certain things and when he doesn't we freak. We start wanting to control the outcome. We can't really.

So how do we start trying to control the outcome? We may start to initiate contact when we haven't heard from him for a few days. If he does not reply to our texts, we text again and sometimes again. This sends him the signal loud and clear, we are way more into him than he is us.

Another way we make this mistake in dating is to start asking questions. Why didn't you call. Are you going to call? Where do you see this going? Are you looking for a relationship? Things like that. When we ask these questions we are telling him loud and clear he has the power to dictate the terms of how this dating thing plays out. We are seeking reassurance from the man and he sees this as insecurity and feels he has to validate us. Not good, not good at all.

Another mistake women make in dating which also applies to the option/priority rule is to start giving to him. We offer to do things for him to make his life better hoping this will make him like us more. We may do his laundry, cook for him, go out of our way for him. This is a huge attraction killer. This is behavior that should be reserved for a man that has made up a priority, not a man that has taken us on a few dates. Stop worrying about if he likes you or not, let him wonder if you like him instead.

My inbox is full every day with women who make these and many other mistakes in dating. Stop spinning your wheels with things that don't work and start learning what does. Learn how to create, and keep that attraction alive and burning. It's really not that hard, be the woman he adores.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Signs He is Into You and Ready to Commit

When a man is into a woman, he shows it in his actions. He may shower you with pretty words, but if his actions do not support his words, be leery. Men are known for telling us women what we want to hear. Pay little attention to this, don't hang onto his every word, watch him instead.

Steady communication is a sure sign he is into you. If he calls, or texts regularly and does not go missing in action for days chances are good he is moving forward. If a man goes missing on you or slows down on his communication, your radar should go up.

If he is into you, he will make sure and secure time with you in advance. He will not wait until the last minute for a Saturday night date. When he is into you, he wants to make sure you spend time with him and he will do what it takes to make this happen. Beware the man that leaves this up to last minute.

Does he take you around family and friends. Including you in his life and letting you be a part of it is one of the big signs he is into you. A man that adores you will be proud of you and want to show you off. He will invite you out with his friends and take you to family outings. If a man does not include you in these things, you very well may be his Miss Right Now and not his forever girl.

Men look for a lot of things when picking the woman they want to commit to. Find out what drives them towards commitment and marriage. Learn how to be his priority, not his option. Exchange the girlfriend crown for a ring

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Why He Won't Commit

A man has to feel desired for who he is. He wants to feel it's his uniqueness that won you over. Often we start out pushing way too soon, after a few dates we are wanting to know where this is going. This tells him you have an open position to fill and anyone will do. It does not make him feel special. He needs to feel special to commit, not just some guy to put in a tux and walk down the isle with and live happily ever after.

When women get in a hurry to secure the commitment it tells men, "She is insecure and needs to fill a void. She can't be alone". Her desire to secure a relationship has nothing to do with me personnaly. This is why you should always let him lead. Let him think it is his idea. He wants to know you value your selection of a man and who you commit to. This tells him that he is special and ignites a desire to commit. Why he won't commit is often because he does not feel that special.

The way to make him think it is his idea is to keep some distance. It causes a man to fixate on you. The reason is 9 out of 10 women assume the role of girlfriend after a month or two. They start trying to control the outcome of the relationship. They call if they have not heard from him, they try to lock down time with him, basically wearing the girlfriend crown long before he has placed it on our heads.

This is what causes men to back off. They have an instinct to protect their freedom. Remember it's women who want to discuss a commitment. Men do not. They have to accidently just fall into it. They value what they have to work for. If you are just a lay down, meaning easy to get, he will not value you and will not commit.

It takes a lot of patience to lead a man to commitment. Even the most phobic of men can be led to commit, but it takes a special woman to do this. Not a yes girl. Don't be the woman who watches her man drift away and eventually wind up married to some other girl. It happens all the time, he says he is not ready, then next thing you know he is with someone new. Don't let this happen to you, be his dream girl, not his doormat.