Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Monday, August 5, 2013
How To Flirt With Men!
How to Flirt with Men, oh what fun! Do you know how to flirt with men or
does the thought of it give you a case of the nerves? Men absolutely
love to be flirted with. I have been with my guy friends and a woman
approaches. After she left, he asked, Is she flirting with me? He was
excited! If you can flirt with men, well you can make his day that is
for sure.
Flirting with men comes natural to some, but not all. I have women constantly contact me asking me how or what I would have said in a given situation. It's because I am one of the naturals, most of the time. We all have our days. I think the key lies really in being happy and that radiating from you. Happy people just naturally attract others into their space.
Once upon a time I was very shy and somewhat insecure. I got tired of it though. I was attractive, but being attractive may get a man's attention, but it's not what keeps it. It was by chance alone I think that I got asked out and even had relationships. Oh if I knew then what I know now, I would have been quite a man magnet. I have learned the art of how to flirty with men.
Flirting with Body Language
With men, 90% of your flirting should be with your body language. After all they really are visual creatures.. Men don't respond to words, they really don't. Take the picture to the right. Notice how she is looking over her shoulder. This is powerful. Men are captivated by innocence, and she has that innocent look on her face.
Obvious, bold flirty moves aren't that affective. It doesn't reach a man on his subconscious level. That is why your posture, your walk, the way you stand and sit are so important. You walk or posture alone can determine if a man sees you as approachable. Shoulders back, relaxed, standing or sitting straight not slouched is how you want to be.
Lets say you are at a bar chatting with a guy on your left. Turn your body into his slightly. Cross your right leg over your left leg slowly and have your right foot almost, but not quite brush his outer calf. He will notice and he won't know why. Reach over and lightly touch his lower left arm and smile, then move it away. These are subconscious triggers that tell him there is a woman sitting next to him that finds him attractive. It's all about how you make him feel.
Another powerful tip that does have to do with words is about one word you can use to get his attention. That word is his own name. Have you ever heard that nothing is sweeter from the lips of another than the sound of your own name. It's true. Call him by name. If you don't do this, you are missing out on something very powerful. If it feels uncomfortable for you, practice it. Call everyone by name when conversing. When my girlfriends call me, I always answer the phone with something like, "Well hello Susie Q". It's second nature to me now.
That one sentence I just mentioned can open a door. If you don't know his name, find it out. Next time you see him, just say, "Well hello Sam". Very effective and disarming, especially if he knows he didn't tell you his name.
Flirty Examples:
I am a moderator on a women's forum. We brainstormed some of our best flirting techniques, and I am going to share a few.
Smile at him.
Look him in the eyes when putting on lip gloss. No chap stick please, but lip gloss. Chap stick is masuline.
Tilt your head slightly sideways when looking at him, touch your hair, not twirl, but touch briefly
If you are walking beside him, tug on his sleeve, lean your head towards his shoulder
A really bold but very affective tip here if you have the opportunity, bend over in front of them. This one triggers his imagination into over drive.
The 3 to 5 second eye contact. Look into his eyes for 5 seconds and then look away shyly.
Toss your head back while laughing.
If you are on the phone with him, paint brief visuals for him. I just got out of a bubble bath. Can I call you back, I just got out of the shower.
These are just a few flirting tips you can put to use right now, today. Flirting is an art. If you can flirt with a man, then you know how to make a man feel like a man and that is what it is all about. You want to accentuate his masculine tenancies and play up your feminine. Men love it. It makes them feel attractive and desirable and who doesn't want to feel that?
Flirting with men comes natural to some, but not all. I have women constantly contact me asking me how or what I would have said in a given situation. It's because I am one of the naturals, most of the time. We all have our days. I think the key lies really in being happy and that radiating from you. Happy people just naturally attract others into their space.
Once upon a time I was very shy and somewhat insecure. I got tired of it though. I was attractive, but being attractive may get a man's attention, but it's not what keeps it. It was by chance alone I think that I got asked out and even had relationships. Oh if I knew then what I know now, I would have been quite a man magnet. I have learned the art of how to flirty with men.
Flirting with Body Language
With men, 90% of your flirting should be with your body language. After all they really are visual creatures.. Men don't respond to words, they really don't. Take the picture to the right. Notice how she is looking over her shoulder. This is powerful. Men are captivated by innocence, and she has that innocent look on her face.
Obvious, bold flirty moves aren't that affective. It doesn't reach a man on his subconscious level. That is why your posture, your walk, the way you stand and sit are so important. You walk or posture alone can determine if a man sees you as approachable. Shoulders back, relaxed, standing or sitting straight not slouched is how you want to be.
Lets say you are at a bar chatting with a guy on your left. Turn your body into his slightly. Cross your right leg over your left leg slowly and have your right foot almost, but not quite brush his outer calf. He will notice and he won't know why. Reach over and lightly touch his lower left arm and smile, then move it away. These are subconscious triggers that tell him there is a woman sitting next to him that finds him attractive. It's all about how you make him feel.
Another powerful tip that does have to do with words is about one word you can use to get his attention. That word is his own name. Have you ever heard that nothing is sweeter from the lips of another than the sound of your own name. It's true. Call him by name. If you don't do this, you are missing out on something very powerful. If it feels uncomfortable for you, practice it. Call everyone by name when conversing. When my girlfriends call me, I always answer the phone with something like, "Well hello Susie Q". It's second nature to me now.
That one sentence I just mentioned can open a door. If you don't know his name, find it out. Next time you see him, just say, "Well hello Sam". Very effective and disarming, especially if he knows he didn't tell you his name.
Flirty Examples:
I am a moderator on a women's forum. We brainstormed some of our best flirting techniques, and I am going to share a few.
Smile at him.
Look him in the eyes when putting on lip gloss. No chap stick please, but lip gloss. Chap stick is masuline.
Tilt your head slightly sideways when looking at him, touch your hair, not twirl, but touch briefly
If you are walking beside him, tug on his sleeve, lean your head towards his shoulder
A really bold but very affective tip here if you have the opportunity, bend over in front of them. This one triggers his imagination into over drive.
The 3 to 5 second eye contact. Look into his eyes for 5 seconds and then look away shyly.
Toss your head back while laughing.
If you are on the phone with him, paint brief visuals for him. I just got out of a bubble bath. Can I call you back, I just got out of the shower.
These are just a few flirting tips you can put to use right now, today. Flirting is an art. If you can flirt with a man, then you know how to make a man feel like a man and that is what it is all about. You want to accentuate his masculine tenancies and play up your feminine. Men love it. It makes them feel attractive and desirable and who doesn't want to feel that?
Thursday, July 11, 2013
The Woman Men Adore! Be His Dreamgirl!
A dream girl is the kind of woman men adore. She inspires a man to want to be with her, spend time with her, respect her, possibly take her to forever. She does this with a feminine grace that is hard for a man to resist. She is fun, playful, has boundaries and does not badger or nag to get what she needs out of a relationship. She knows her value. She doesn't settle for men who treat her badly or keep her guessing. This is the woman men adore!
Many think that I am talking about playing games here when I talk about being his dream girl. It's not a game. It boils down to being true to self. It's about putting your own heart first because when you do this, you show him how to treat you. Also when you treat yourself well, he knows you will most likely treat him well too!
Many think that I am talking about playing games here when I talk about being his dream girl. It's not a game. It boils down to being true to self. It's about putting your own heart first because when you do this, you show him how to treat you. Also when you treat yourself well, he knows you will most likely treat him well too!
How do you become this kind of woman? What is it that men really want from women and what is it about one woman that has him pining away while he hardly notices other women? What makes one a woman men adore and never want to leave? How do you get this kind of feminine grace that draws men like moths to flames?
What Makes a Man Fall in Love
A man doesn't fall in love with the woman he can live with. A man falls in love with the woman he can't live with out.
If you think it's the things you do that he can't live without, you might want to reconsider. It's not really the nice things you do for for a man that makes a man fall in love. Being good to a man simply isn't the key ingredient. So many women make their mistake here. They give and give hoping it will endear them to the man. They bend over backwards pleasing him. This isn't what makes a man fall in love. This is what makes you a doormat. A woman willing to sacrifice of herself to please another just isn't attractive, she is convenient at the most.
It's the woman that challenges him that men fall in love with. It's the woman who stands up for herself with feminine grace and feminine elegance that wins his heart. The woman that will show him with ease that she will not be a doormat. Men like to make women happy. It makes them feel good and makes them feel valued. Men fall in love with how you make them feel. If they can make you happy, they feel good. Think Tarzan running through the jungle pounding his chest and you get my drift.
If you are bending over backwards to please him, doing all the giving, you are in a sense depriving him. Learning to receive is so important. A woman that can gracefully receive from her man is a woman that men adore. Things as simple as a compliment for example. When he compliments you, do you deny the compliment or thank him authentically? If he offers to do something for you do you accept or tell him no thank you, I can do that? The natural role of the man really is to give and the woman's is to receive.
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Monday, May 20, 2013
How To Flirt With Your Boyfriend Tips!
Flirting is fun and it's a great way to build attraction, yet few know how to do it effectively. Most go about it blatant, not understanding that less is really more. Flirting should spark their imagination and peek their curiosity. I will share a few tips that will stir his heart and endear you to his heart.
1. Talking sofly, so that he has to lean in to hear you. Whisper in his ear.
1. Pull on his sleeve when walking beside him. A gently tug. This one works on him on a subconscious level. Done with a slight laughter, even more effective.
2. When the opportunity presents itself, lean into him with you head slightly on his shoulder briefly. Maybe again you are walking and he says something sweet, lean into him with head on shoulder and just sigh or say Aw. This activates his natural protection mode.
3. Look at him from over your shoulder, that looking back look when you can. This is powerful.
4. When sitting beside him, cross the opposite leg and barely brush his upper calf with your foot. Also angle yourself towards him a bit.
5. Answer the phone with "well hello, then speak his name. The sound of our own name is the sweetest sound on earth. When you see him, as in he picks you up or you are meeting him somewhere, greet him with his name!
6. Bend over as in to get something out of the oven, pick something up, and while you are bent down, look back at him with that smile that says I caught you looking, mischievous like.
7. For no reason, just make eye contact and sort of stare at him. When he asks what are you thinking, and he will, just smile, or say it's a secret.
Flirting is an art and is far more effective done in subtle ways. The goal is to have him think about you more. When a man thinks about you, he falls for you.
Another great way to flirt with your boyfriend is in a text message as well. Texting is the most common form of communication. You can really get his imagination going like this. Imagination is the key to remember. You want him to use his imagination when it comes to you. That means you don't exactly spell it out. You make him wonder if you meant something sexaul or not by sending messages that could be taken both ways.
1. Talking sofly, so that he has to lean in to hear you. Whisper in his ear.
1. Pull on his sleeve when walking beside him. A gently tug. This one works on him on a subconscious level. Done with a slight laughter, even more effective.
2. When the opportunity presents itself, lean into him with you head slightly on his shoulder briefly. Maybe again you are walking and he says something sweet, lean into him with head on shoulder and just sigh or say Aw. This activates his natural protection mode.
3. Look at him from over your shoulder, that looking back look when you can. This is powerful.
4. When sitting beside him, cross the opposite leg and barely brush his upper calf with your foot. Also angle yourself towards him a bit.
5. Answer the phone with "well hello, then speak his name. The sound of our own name is the sweetest sound on earth. When you see him, as in he picks you up or you are meeting him somewhere, greet him with his name!
6. Bend over as in to get something out of the oven, pick something up, and while you are bent down, look back at him with that smile that says I caught you looking, mischievous like.
7. For no reason, just make eye contact and sort of stare at him. When he asks what are you thinking, and he will, just smile, or say it's a secret.
Flirting is an art and is far more effective done in subtle ways. The goal is to have him think about you more. When a man thinks about you, he falls for you.
Another great way to flirt with your boyfriend is in a text message as well. Texting is the most common form of communication. You can really get his imagination going like this. Imagination is the key to remember. You want him to use his imagination when it comes to you. That means you don't exactly spell it out. You make him wonder if you meant something sexaul or not by sending messages that could be taken both ways.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Why Does He Keep Coming Back
There are many women that ask the question why does he keep coming back into my life? If you care deeply for a man that comes and goes in and out of your life, it's not an easy road to walk. You feel he must care because he keeps coming back, yet when he is gone, you are filled with doubts. If he loves you why doesn't he stay?
If you aren't stressed by this behavior it's all good and fine, but when you long for more from him, more commitment, more time, just more in general, it becomes painful. Many women allow these men to keep coming back because they think his feelings will grow. It happens, but it is rare.
Men keep coming back because for the main point, you allow him too for starters. It's easy for him. If he gets lonely or wants company, there you are, ole faithful, waiting with open arms. The thing is, he probably senses you want more, but are willing to settle for less just for the sake of his company. This isn't the way to earn his respect though that is for sure.
Some men just aren't ready for a relationship or so they say. They use this as an excuse for their come and go behavior and we buy it. If a relationship is what you want, why spend time with a man who doesn't want the same things in life as you do? Usually man translation of "I don't want a relationship", really means "I don't want a relationship with you".
Sure he cares for you or else he wouldn'tkeep coming back. You are comfortable for him. If he isn't sticking around though, trust me, he doesn't care enough.
If you aren't stressed by this behavior it's all good and fine, but when you long for more from him, more commitment, more time, just more in general, it becomes painful. Many women allow these men to keep coming back because they think his feelings will grow. It happens, but it is rare.
Men keep coming back because for the main point, you allow him too for starters. It's easy for him. If he gets lonely or wants company, there you are, ole faithful, waiting with open arms. The thing is, he probably senses you want more, but are willing to settle for less just for the sake of his company. This isn't the way to earn his respect though that is for sure.
Some men just aren't ready for a relationship or so they say. They use this as an excuse for their come and go behavior and we buy it. If a relationship is what you want, why spend time with a man who doesn't want the same things in life as you do? Usually man translation of "I don't want a relationship", really means "I don't want a relationship with you".
Sure he cares for you or else he wouldn'tkeep coming back. You are comfortable for him. If he isn't sticking around though, trust me, he doesn't care enough.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Men and Sex - What He Really Wants
When it comes to men and sex, women want to know what turns men on, what do men really want in bed. It may very well surprise you. I know a lot of women who attempt to be these Sex Goddesses, willing to do anything to make men happy in the bedroom. They also hope this will cause the man to deeper connect and attach. Many women truly believe that the way to a man's heart is through his penis. While there may be some truth in this, it may not be the direction of what you are thinking.
First we all know men are visual. A visual can turn a man on in seconds, no doubt. Let's think about porn here for a minute though. In porn, the one who is or is pretending to have the most fun is the woman. She is screaming, moaning and just loving what ever act the man is engaged in. This should be your first clue of what turns men on. To please a woman and have her totally present and enjoying herself is what turns him on and that is one of the main things a man wants in bed.
A man doesn't want a woman having sex with him out of obligation or just to please him. He wants her to really want him. He wants to be desired. He wants to know he has the ability to bring her great pleasure. This is the key to men and sex and what they really want. If you want to turn men on, try making that first move. Try telling him how much you want him or desire him. This will thrill him way more than any stellar performance you could put on in the bedroom. Enthusiasm goes a long long ways.
Men also as a general rule aren't that great at true intimacy outside of the bedroom. Most men feel most connected intimately through sex. For many men, this is their only intimate outlet. They need this to thrive in a relationship. If you are cutting him off, or rationing it out, you are emotionally hurting him.
Now I won't lie and tell you men have no erotic fantasies, they do. Almost all men secretly want more than one woman. It's just the way they are wired. This doesn't mean he will be unfaithful though. It just means he is a man. To think that your man's penis shrivals up when around other women is unrealistic. It's best to embrace his masculine nature as opposed to being threatened by it. Learn to understand men and sex.
When it comes to men and sex, they really aren't that complicated. If they feel you are happy with them sexually, this is what men really want in bed. An enthusiastic, involved partner.
First we all know men are visual. A visual can turn a man on in seconds, no doubt. Let's think about porn here for a minute though. In porn, the one who is or is pretending to have the most fun is the woman. She is screaming, moaning and just loving what ever act the man is engaged in. This should be your first clue of what turns men on. To please a woman and have her totally present and enjoying herself is what turns him on and that is one of the main things a man wants in bed.
A man doesn't want a woman having sex with him out of obligation or just to please him. He wants her to really want him. He wants to be desired. He wants to know he has the ability to bring her great pleasure. This is the key to men and sex and what they really want. If you want to turn men on, try making that first move. Try telling him how much you want him or desire him. This will thrill him way more than any stellar performance you could put on in the bedroom. Enthusiasm goes a long long ways.
Men also as a general rule aren't that great at true intimacy outside of the bedroom. Most men feel most connected intimately through sex. For many men, this is their only intimate outlet. They need this to thrive in a relationship. If you are cutting him off, or rationing it out, you are emotionally hurting him.
Now I won't lie and tell you men have no erotic fantasies, they do. Almost all men secretly want more than one woman. It's just the way they are wired. This doesn't mean he will be unfaithful though. It just means he is a man. To think that your man's penis shrivals up when around other women is unrealistic. It's best to embrace his masculine nature as opposed to being threatened by it. Learn to understand men and sex.
When it comes to men and sex, they really aren't that complicated. If they feel you are happy with them sexually, this is what men really want in bed. An enthusiastic, involved partner.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
How To Make a Man Happy
I am going to share a little story about my friend Dee. Dee is a pleaser. We all love a pleaser, they make life so much easier don't they. Does all their giving though make you happy? Don't you really feel happy when you are the giver? Men are no exception to this rule. Dee I suspect even looks for small reasons and things to give her man and I must say, he is now drifting away and she doesn't get it at all.
I went with Dee to a cookout at her guys house. Dee was calling offering to bring something, or stop by the store. He said he had it covered. Then she thought ahead. They might run out of beer. She stopped and bought a case to take. We got to his house and she pulls out a bag that I didn't know was there. Inside were some odds and ends, cooking utensils, extra ashtrays, just stuff. She thought these things would make him happy.
He didn't ask her for anything, he just invited her to a cookout. These extras were in his mind sort of telling him "I know you said you had it covered, but just in case". If she wanted to truly make him happy the best thing she could have done was to show up and enjoy herself and let him know how much she appreciated it. Appreciation is huge to men by the way, a key in how to make a man happy.
Here comes another issue with the above situation. She always brings things over, does things. In her mind she is giving and then when he doesn't give back, she is disappointed. Next thing you know she may be complaining and wondering why he doesn't do the same for her. Resentment created by your own hands.
If you want to make know how to make a man happy, consider letting him make you happy instead. That's all men really want, to be able to make you happy. That is the secret to how to make a man happy. When it begins to seem like work to make you happy, the thrill is gone.
Monday, January 16, 2012
How To Keep Your Man Happy - A Huge Key
So, how to keep your man happy? Many come to me asking for advice as to what they can do to keep their man happy. Many are thinking along the lines of what can they do for him or give to him that will make him happy. They are missing the key by a mile. Doing things for him or giving him gifts does not necessarily make a man happy. That is what makes a woman happy. Men really aren't wired like we are. Over giving or over compensating can have a negative affect on a man. He begins to feel obligated. This is often when over time you will hear the man say something along the lines of "You deserve better". By over giving, you are setting yourself up for this famous line.
A huge key in keeping a man happy is in appreciation. Show him and tell him you appreciate him. Not by giving back to him, but by simply appreciating him, even in the simplest ways. I think often we let the little things slide. Then he stops doing the little things and we are left searching for a way to get it back. Then you express verbally the little things are missing. This just reinforces to him that he can't make you happy. Oh the vicious cycle begins here. Then comes the distance, then you asking even more what's wrong, him feeling even more he can't make you happy. The fastest way not keep your man happy is for him to feel he can't make you happy.
I got an email the other day from a young lady telling me her boyfriend just didn't do the little things he used to do. He no longer opened her car door, she hadn't gotten flowers in months, he never sent her thinking about you text and the list went on and on. I asked her had she ever mentioned to him that she really liked the fact that he opened her car door or told him it made her feel really warm inside. Of course she hadn't. Her response to his thinking about you texts was always "thinking about you too". Had she told him instead that she loved his texts and how they enhanced her day, chances are slimmer that they would have stopped. Men not only love feeling appreciated, they need it to thrive in a relationship.
When I show my guy I appreciate him, I swear he grows 3 inches taller. He beams and gets this satisfied look on his face. The result, he never stops doing those amazing little things. We need these amazing little things ourselves to thrive in a relationship. Inspire him to give you what you need. Tell him next time he does something simple for you. The rewards are quite worth it. This is a key on how to keep your man happy in a relationship. Men really are easy.
Men made easy
.
A huge key in keeping a man happy is in appreciation. Show him and tell him you appreciate him. Not by giving back to him, but by simply appreciating him, even in the simplest ways. I think often we let the little things slide. Then he stops doing the little things and we are left searching for a way to get it back. Then you express verbally the little things are missing. This just reinforces to him that he can't make you happy. Oh the vicious cycle begins here. Then comes the distance, then you asking even more what's wrong, him feeling even more he can't make you happy. The fastest way not keep your man happy is for him to feel he can't make you happy.
I got an email the other day from a young lady telling me her boyfriend just didn't do the little things he used to do. He no longer opened her car door, she hadn't gotten flowers in months, he never sent her thinking about you text and the list went on and on. I asked her had she ever mentioned to him that she really liked the fact that he opened her car door or told him it made her feel really warm inside. Of course she hadn't. Her response to his thinking about you texts was always "thinking about you too". Had she told him instead that she loved his texts and how they enhanced her day, chances are slimmer that they would have stopped. Men not only love feeling appreciated, they need it to thrive in a relationship.
When I show my guy I appreciate him, I swear he grows 3 inches taller. He beams and gets this satisfied look on his face. The result, he never stops doing those amazing little things. We need these amazing little things ourselves to thrive in a relationship. Inspire him to give you what you need. Tell him next time he does something simple for you. The rewards are quite worth it. This is a key on how to keep your man happy in a relationship. Men really are easy.
Men made easy
.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
How To Spot a Player
So, do you know how to spot a player. Do you know the signs that he is a love em and leave em type of guy.
A player relies on his mouth to get him what he wants. He knows what to say and he knows how to push your emotional buttons. He has enough knowledge about the female mind and how it works to be dangerous. He knows how to use his knowledge to manipulate and doesn't seem to feel any remorse for doing so.
A player will also use his mouth to toot his own horn. He may tell you have fantastic having sex with him will be. He may even tell you how he is more sensitive than most men and try to come across as a rare and caring soul that understands women. Players often verbally paint these pictures of themselves as martyrs. Some even brag how they take extra care of their parents. They exploit their good deeds and pretend to be modest.
Ignore the words, the man that is so magnificent will not need to talk about it. He just is.
Players are also secretive. They won't really share much personal information, yet they manage to get a lot of personal information about you. If you find that he knows way more about you and your life than he does about yours, you may be getting played.
If you want to know how to spot a player, watch his actions, ignore his words. A player is often all talk and no action. He will talk about all the wonderful things he wants to do for you or with you, yet they don't happen.
A player will get random phone calls and you can bet they are from women. He will play it off and act like she doesn't mean anything to him or she is history, but you can bet when you aren't around, it's a different story. Again, ignore his words, watch his actions.
Can player be had? Oh yes absolutely, but it's not a game for the faint of heart. It takes a dream girl to play a player.
A player relies on his mouth to get him what he wants. He knows what to say and he knows how to push your emotional buttons. He has enough knowledge about the female mind and how it works to be dangerous. He knows how to use his knowledge to manipulate and doesn't seem to feel any remorse for doing so.
A player will also use his mouth to toot his own horn. He may tell you have fantastic having sex with him will be. He may even tell you how he is more sensitive than most men and try to come across as a rare and caring soul that understands women. Players often verbally paint these pictures of themselves as martyrs. Some even brag how they take extra care of their parents. They exploit their good deeds and pretend to be modest.
Ignore the words, the man that is so magnificent will not need to talk about it. He just is.
Players are also secretive. They won't really share much personal information, yet they manage to get a lot of personal information about you. If you find that he knows way more about you and your life than he does about yours, you may be getting played.
If you want to know how to spot a player, watch his actions, ignore his words. A player is often all talk and no action. He will talk about all the wonderful things he wants to do for you or with you, yet they don't happen.
A player will get random phone calls and you can bet they are from women. He will play it off and act like she doesn't mean anything to him or she is history, but you can bet when you aren't around, it's a different story. Again, ignore his words, watch his actions.
Can player be had? Oh yes absolutely, but it's not a game for the faint of heart. It takes a dream girl to play a player.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Why Do Men Pull Away
Why Do Men Pull Away
If you stepped into the relationship in your heart and head before he did, this will also cause him to pull away. If you are giving more to it than he is, such as calling and texting him first and doing most of the initiating and planning, this makes a man take a step back and this is often why men pull away. They like to lead. They like to be challenged. A woman that does most of the work in a relationship just loses his attraction and fast.
If you are wondering why is he pulling away, ask yourself how do you really think you make him feel. Men fall in love with the way you make them feel. They like to be the hero. Do you allow him to be your hero or are you busy trying to be his?
Men love a woman who can receive and appreciate him. If you give too much too fast, this does not inspire the hero in him. This plants the thought in his head that you may expect the same in return. Men want it to be their idea to give. If you are giving more than he is, this causes him to feel obligated to you. This is an attraction killer for sure and could be why he is pulling away.
Do you know how to make a man feel like a man. Do you know the real truth why he disappears.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Herpes Is a Blessing, Not a Curse
I talk to many many women and men daily. We cover all sorts of topics, but recently a woman came to me with the Herpes questions. She is divorced and hasn't done much dating except a short series of one night stands, which you guessed it, she contracted Herpes. Now she wonders when to tell and if she should tell any potential partners. She is looking for a lasting relationship by the way. She is seriously considering not dating at all because of it. I say nonsense.
I don't know the actual statistics, but do know they are pretty high. A large percentage of the population does have this virus. The good news of course is it can be controlled. The bad news is it causes often great shame in those that have it. I hope today to turn around some of you thoughts or feelings of shame on this subject.
It's a fine line of when to tell your partner something so very personal. It's not first date conversation. Many fear telling of this sooner rather than later because it will scare off the potential mate. First off, to tell your new partner about this requires great trust. I am positive that many a person has had this "virus:" thrown back up at them later as ammunition, say in a fight perhaps. There is also the chance of complete rejection. This is scary stuff. It makes one not want to tell. but tell you must.
So how is this a blessing and not a curse. For starters you have your own built in relationship pacing mechanism. You will tend to move more slowly into relationships and build up a foundation of trust before jumping. You simply must trust him prior to sharing such personal information. You very well may also abstain from having sex too soon, that thing that puts us as women into the bonding mind frame where we attach, sometimes sooner than we should.
You also now have very own separate the wheat from the chaff measuring stick. If a man or woman for that matter dumps you because you have herpes, well he/she is not for you anyway. Also if your partner sticks around after learning of this, well chances are good he is a keeper. Sure you may lose a few because of this, but if he runs, he didn't have staying power in the first place.
Another blessing in this is showing your vulnerability. Tell a few guys about this and see how much easier being vulnerable can become. To prosper in relationships, we must learn to be vulnerable.
What I am suggesting is that you embrace it rather than feel shame towards this virus that many suffer from. It is not the end of the world. It can be controlled and your life does not have to change. Sure you have a responsibility to your partners, but don't discredit the responsibility that you also have to yourself. The responsibility to trust yourself and the partners that you choose to share with.
Living with Herpes.
.
I don't know the actual statistics, but do know they are pretty high. A large percentage of the population does have this virus. The good news of course is it can be controlled. The bad news is it causes often great shame in those that have it. I hope today to turn around some of you thoughts or feelings of shame on this subject.
It's a fine line of when to tell your partner something so very personal. It's not first date conversation. Many fear telling of this sooner rather than later because it will scare off the potential mate. First off, to tell your new partner about this requires great trust. I am positive that many a person has had this "virus:" thrown back up at them later as ammunition, say in a fight perhaps. There is also the chance of complete rejection. This is scary stuff. It makes one not want to tell. but tell you must.
So how is this a blessing and not a curse. For starters you have your own built in relationship pacing mechanism. You will tend to move more slowly into relationships and build up a foundation of trust before jumping. You simply must trust him prior to sharing such personal information. You very well may also abstain from having sex too soon, that thing that puts us as women into the bonding mind frame where we attach, sometimes sooner than we should.
You also now have very own separate the wheat from the chaff measuring stick. If a man or woman for that matter dumps you because you have herpes, well he/she is not for you anyway. Also if your partner sticks around after learning of this, well chances are good he is a keeper. Sure you may lose a few because of this, but if he runs, he didn't have staying power in the first place.
Another blessing in this is showing your vulnerability. Tell a few guys about this and see how much easier being vulnerable can become. To prosper in relationships, we must learn to be vulnerable.
What I am suggesting is that you embrace it rather than feel shame towards this virus that many suffer from. It is not the end of the world. It can be controlled and your life does not have to change. Sure you have a responsibility to your partners, but don't discredit the responsibility that you also have to yourself. The responsibility to trust yourself and the partners that you choose to share with.
Living with Herpes.
.
Friday, December 9, 2011
How To Make A Man Feel Good
This is something that evades a lot of women. They want to make a man feel good. They hope by doing this, he will be more endeared and attached to them. I get emails from women wanting suggestions for a perfect gift. They want to know what they can do to make him happy or how to make a man feel good. Usually they relate this to giving to a man and giving more. This is not what makes a man feel good necessarily.
If you want to make a man feel good, the best way to go about this is to allow him to make you feel good and show appreciation for this. Men like to make their women happy. It is when they feel they can't do this that they often give up and leave the relationship. Your man may not show love in the same way that you do. He may fix your car as opposed to roses and candlelight. Thank him, tell him you appreciate it. When he accomplishes something in his life, maybe a promotion, maybe he helped someone else do something. Acknowledge his accomplishments. This makes him feel good. Appreciation and acknowledgement go a long ways.
If he offers to do something for you, let him. He wants to make you happy. Making you happy is what inspires him. It's what makes him happy. You don't have to give give give to make a man feel good. Giving too much has the opposite effect on him. It puts pressure on him. He then feels obligated to return it. You don't want to cause your man to feel obligation.
If you want to become a better lover, there is no harm in this. Remember this though. Although it's nice to be a skilled lover, most men again like pleasing you. They also like an enthusiastic lover over an acrobat any day. When you enjoy yourself in the bedroom, this is the best gift you could give him. Even with something like a blow job. Sure they love it if you are good at oral sex, but the fact that you are wiling and eager goes even further.
You can find some more tips on how to make your man feel good here.
.
If you want to make a man feel good, the best way to go about this is to allow him to make you feel good and show appreciation for this. Men like to make their women happy. It is when they feel they can't do this that they often give up and leave the relationship. Your man may not show love in the same way that you do. He may fix your car as opposed to roses and candlelight. Thank him, tell him you appreciate it. When he accomplishes something in his life, maybe a promotion, maybe he helped someone else do something. Acknowledge his accomplishments. This makes him feel good. Appreciation and acknowledgement go a long ways.
If he offers to do something for you, let him. He wants to make you happy. Making you happy is what inspires him. It's what makes him happy. You don't have to give give give to make a man feel good. Giving too much has the opposite effect on him. It puts pressure on him. He then feels obligated to return it. You don't want to cause your man to feel obligation.
If you want to become a better lover, there is no harm in this. Remember this though. Although it's nice to be a skilled lover, most men again like pleasing you. They also like an enthusiastic lover over an acrobat any day. When you enjoy yourself in the bedroom, this is the best gift you could give him. Even with something like a blow job. Sure they love it if you are good at oral sex, but the fact that you are wiling and eager goes even further.
You can find some more tips on how to make your man feel good here.
.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
First Date Sex - Sex and Dating
Is it okay to have sex on a first date? This was posted on facebook this morning and the answers just shocked me to be honest. Almost every answer was NO. While that is all fine and well, what was even more shocking was the reasons most of these ladies gave for the no answer. Reasons like he will think you are easy, he won't respect you, he will never have a relationship with you, he will think you are a slut and so forth and so on.
My point? All the answers these women gave about why not to have first date sex was about him and what he would think of them. Nice way to start out huh? Worrying about what he thinks and feels and not the first thought about themselves. How common of a theme this is with women is undeniable. Women worry. First date and they are already focused on impressing him. What happened to him impressing you?
I would think there are much more valid reasons to not have first date sex. For starters, you probably don't know much about him. He could be controlling, he could be an abuser, he could be emotionally unavailable, he could even be married. Have you ever had first date sex and then a couple of weeks down the road you discover he just isn't for you for whatever reason and you end up breaking it off? These are more logical reasons to not have first date sex in my mind.
If you have sex on the first date or not should be about you and not about him. It's about what feels right for you. I have known many a woman to have first date sex and go onto a relationship and even marriage. I think it's a lot to do with your attitude. A man can sense insecurity and neediness in a woman. If you are having sex to please him, he will know it. Many women when they have sex for the first time with a man focus on pleasing him. They do all sorts of maneuvers trying to make it good for him hoping that will bring him back for more.
The funny thing is, what brings them back for more is your enjoyment. Men like to make women happy. It makes a man feel like a man. There the woman just wasted all the energy and effort when it would have been more effective if she just focused on her own enjoyment as opposed to his.
The other part of this that baffles me is this. So much emphasis is put on when to have sex or not. When is too soon to have sex etc... What about your heart. Isn't that the part that you really should be focused on if you should or should not surrender it to a man. Does he know how to take care of it? Sex pales in comparison to the value of your heart, yet you don't see articles all over the web advising about this.
With sex and dating, it's wise if doing it sooner rather than later to do so with no expectations. If you have sex early on, own it, take responsibility for it. No crying, asking when will you see him again, or apologizing. You are a grown woman. You are in control of yourself. Acting as if you didn't mean to have sex with him on a first date only tells him you aren't in control. This above the actual act is why he may not respect you.
A woman in control of herself and her heart is the woman men adore.
.
My point? All the answers these women gave about why not to have first date sex was about him and what he would think of them. Nice way to start out huh? Worrying about what he thinks and feels and not the first thought about themselves. How common of a theme this is with women is undeniable. Women worry. First date and they are already focused on impressing him. What happened to him impressing you?
I would think there are much more valid reasons to not have first date sex. For starters, you probably don't know much about him. He could be controlling, he could be an abuser, he could be emotionally unavailable, he could even be married. Have you ever had first date sex and then a couple of weeks down the road you discover he just isn't for you for whatever reason and you end up breaking it off? These are more logical reasons to not have first date sex in my mind.
If you have sex on the first date or not should be about you and not about him. It's about what feels right for you. I have known many a woman to have first date sex and go onto a relationship and even marriage. I think it's a lot to do with your attitude. A man can sense insecurity and neediness in a woman. If you are having sex to please him, he will know it. Many women when they have sex for the first time with a man focus on pleasing him. They do all sorts of maneuvers trying to make it good for him hoping that will bring him back for more.
The funny thing is, what brings them back for more is your enjoyment. Men like to make women happy. It makes a man feel like a man. There the woman just wasted all the energy and effort when it would have been more effective if she just focused on her own enjoyment as opposed to his.
The other part of this that baffles me is this. So much emphasis is put on when to have sex or not. When is too soon to have sex etc... What about your heart. Isn't that the part that you really should be focused on if you should or should not surrender it to a man. Does he know how to take care of it? Sex pales in comparison to the value of your heart, yet you don't see articles all over the web advising about this.
With sex and dating, it's wise if doing it sooner rather than later to do so with no expectations. If you have sex early on, own it, take responsibility for it. No crying, asking when will you see him again, or apologizing. You are a grown woman. You are in control of yourself. Acting as if you didn't mean to have sex with him on a first date only tells him you aren't in control. This above the actual act is why he may not respect you.
A woman in control of herself and her heart is the woman men adore.
.
Monday, November 28, 2011
How Do I Know If He Loves Me
I suppose I could start this post with, well if you have to ask "How do I know if he loves me", then he must not be in love. I do realize though that many women are confused on this topic. They get mixed signals or what they interpret as mixed signals and analyze it to death. Does he love me? Is he falling in love with me? He told me this and he said that. What does it mean?
First it's about actions actions actions. Words really are easy to say. Men are also taught to tell women what they want to hear. Does he back up his words with actions is the key here. When he says he will call, he does. When he asks you out, he follows through and doesn't leave you guessing. If you want to know if he loves you or not, watch his actions.
A man in love goes out of his way to make his woman happy. He may give up a night with the guys or a sporting event to go shopping with you instead. It was his idea. If you have to badger him, it doesn't count. He wants to spend time with you. He makes the effort to make sure it happens. He includes you in his life, family and friends.
He is proud of you and hides nothing about you. He may even be proud that you have your girly stuff at his house and doesn't chase after you to make sure you leave no evidence behind. It's okay to keep a box of tampons under his bathroom sink. He actually welcomes it.
If you are taking a man's words and tearing them apart trying to figure out how he feels or how to know he loves me, you are wasting your time. It's not in his kiss. It's not in the great sex, it's in his actions.
First it's about actions actions actions. Words really are easy to say. Men are also taught to tell women what they want to hear. Does he back up his words with actions is the key here. When he says he will call, he does. When he asks you out, he follows through and doesn't leave you guessing. If you want to know if he loves you or not, watch his actions.
A man in love goes out of his way to make his woman happy. He may give up a night with the guys or a sporting event to go shopping with you instead. It was his idea. If you have to badger him, it doesn't count. He wants to spend time with you. He makes the effort to make sure it happens. He includes you in his life, family and friends.
He is proud of you and hides nothing about you. He may even be proud that you have your girly stuff at his house and doesn't chase after you to make sure you leave no evidence behind. It's okay to keep a box of tampons under his bathroom sink. He actually welcomes it.
If you are taking a man's words and tearing them apart trying to figure out how he feels or how to know he loves me, you are wasting your time. It's not in his kiss. It's not in the great sex, it's in his actions.
Friday, November 25, 2011
When He is In and Out of Your Life
Ever been crazy about a man who is in and out of your life. He spends the weekend with you or maybe a night and it's just incredible. The chemistry is over the top and you feel such a connection. Then he just disappears for days, weeks at a time, only to reappear again down the road to repeat it all over again. It's baffling, so what is going on here?
This is a man that can't not only commit to being with you, he can't commit to being without you either. In other words, he just can't commit, period. Many women stay in this situation hoping he will come to his senses. They convince themselves of all the reasons he could be doing this. Work is stressful, he is busy, he has family issues. The reasons could be many. The truth is though, he just isn't ready to commit or willing to commit.
By allowing this man to come in and out of your life leaving your heart all over the place, you are accepting his crumbs on his terms. What are your terms? Is this enough for you. Many women get in too deep and next thing you know years go by and it's still the same ole thing. They can't fall for another man because their heart is too wrapped up in this man.
A man that comes in and out of your life or a man that disappears on you is not seeing you as a priority in his life, there is no other reason. If he isn't committing because of being busy, working, family issues, whatever, it's because he doesn't want to. Men do exactly what they want to do. He is more than likely just keeping his other options open.
This is a hard situation to be in. Why he disappeared is really not that much of a mystery as most women make it out to be. The mystery may lie in why do you allow him to do this? Why he disappeared.
This is a man that can't not only commit to being with you, he can't commit to being without you either. In other words, he just can't commit, period. Many women stay in this situation hoping he will come to his senses. They convince themselves of all the reasons he could be doing this. Work is stressful, he is busy, he has family issues. The reasons could be many. The truth is though, he just isn't ready to commit or willing to commit.
By allowing this man to come in and out of your life leaving your heart all over the place, you are accepting his crumbs on his terms. What are your terms? Is this enough for you. Many women get in too deep and next thing you know years go by and it's still the same ole thing. They can't fall for another man because their heart is too wrapped up in this man.
A man that comes in and out of your life or a man that disappears on you is not seeing you as a priority in his life, there is no other reason. If he isn't committing because of being busy, working, family issues, whatever, it's because he doesn't want to. Men do exactly what they want to do. He is more than likely just keeping his other options open.
This is a hard situation to be in. Why he disappeared is really not that much of a mystery as most women make it out to be. The mystery may lie in why do you allow him to do this? Why he disappeared.
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